I wrote this song based on a joke that I'd heard and the nursery rhyme, "Old Mother Hubbard".

There was an old man who had a little dog
And the little dog's name was Boozo.
And he was fond of a little drop of grog
And thereby hangs his tail O!

Boozo wanted to quench his thirst,
But the cupboard, it was bare O!
Because the old man had got there first
And not a drop was there O!

So Boozo he went down to the bar
And there he drank his fill O!
As he came out, he got jammed in the door
And left behind his tail O!

Poor Boozo died and to heaven he went
But St Bernard wouldn't let him in O!
Being tail-less was his punishment
For a night out on the binge O!

Boozo he went back to the pub
'Twas past the hour of twelve O!
But he howled 'til he got the landlord up
And he played merry Hell O!

"Please, can I have my tail", said the dog,
"If you would be so kind O'"
But the landlord looked at him all agog!
"You must be out of your mind O!"

"Don't you know that it is a crime?"
Poor Boozo, he turned pale O!
"To retail spirits after time
Would land us all in jail O!"

The last two line of each verse were repeated thus:
Jail O! Jail O!
Would land us all in jail O!
To retail spirits after time
Would land us all in jail O!