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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,The Council of Krith BS: New Planet? (81* d) RE: BS: New Planet? 05 Aug 05


We Krithians just recently discovered a new planet. Yours. What came as a real surprise to us was that your planet has intelligent biological life. Well...semi-intelligent biological life, at least. This came as a big surprise, because our learned people have always maintained that Krith is the only place in the Universe that has such intelligent life. We poo-pooed all those ridiculous stories about interplanetary visitors, UFO's, crop circles, and all that kind of thing. Most UFO reports, after all, emanate from either hoaxers or foolish people who are mistaking the planet Nemral for a spaceship! Or in some cases, it's probably swamp gas or a hallucination of some kind, under the influence of drugs or overactive imaginations.

But we digress...

Our scientists have always been willing to entertain the possibility that simple forms of microscopic life might be found somewhere in space, but the possibility of another highly developed biosphere and civilization on some other world seemed very, very remote. Krith has ample supplies of water, oxygen, benzene, sappo, and all the other substances needed to support life. In the case of your planet, there was little benzene and no sappo. Accordingly, it was thought that Earth, as you call it, could never support life as we know it.

Well, imagine our surprise this week when our probes determined beyond any shadow of doubt that your planet Earth is positively infested with biological life, in bewildering variety AND has a developed civilization capable of interplanetary travel!!!

We have now monitored your TV programming and find it quite puzzling. Are you all completely insane? It seems that you may be, if your television programs are indeed an accurate depiction of your daily life.

We on Krith are willing to help, but with caution. You appear to be dangerously insane, so we intend to remain at arm's length, as it were, for awhile until we can decide what will work and what won't in terms of cultural exchange, trade, and all that sort of thing.

At any rate, the undeniable proof we now have of complex life on another world, despite the general absence of benzene and sappo, has shaken our scientific community to its core. We have also confirmed that you have orbited spacecraft and have sent some beyond your world. This suggests that at least some Krithian UFO stories may be correct.

The Amazing Skandy, Krith's most famous professional skeptic, has experienced a nervous breakdown as a result of these revelations about the new planet, Earth, and is now under heavy medication. It appears that his skepticism has been confounded for all time.

- The Council


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