Cor bimey! What larks! You is mistaking of me for Mrs Whoops wot appeared three books ago in Great Incantations.

For the record, I am a large working class female in an apron, and I was in service to Mr and Mrs Warped,the wicked factory owners (hobbies: drinking gin; dressing in filthy rags; beating cripples and being somewhat offensive in manner to the upstanding hero) so I was present at the birth of Charlie Womblefoot - the bastard son and heir to millions of Horace Bumfat(worthless scoundrel, drunkard, womaniser and complete dirty dog).

Due to my basic decency, things will be all right.