Oy Sarah

Well blow me down, i iz so dissappointed. Them postal fellers in the United States of screw ups done told my errreand boy that yez would git them pressies no later than the 17th. I gots a receipt tho and I reckon I iz gonna march in that there postal office an ask them postal fellers wot gives.

The addy I gots is yer work addy. I puts things in that box wot were supposed to be fer afore christmas funs. Iffin yez dinna get it yet, I reckon yez ain'ty gonna til ya comes back to work. When iz that?

I tall yez, I am one pissed off Pirate cuz I had teh forks over $42 american to send that there box airmail.

So here's the new deal I offers ye - iff ye wants yer pressie part two to comes to yer house, yez needs tell that there squeaky woman, Liz where yez want it sent and she kin then send a messenger pigeon out to sea to finds me ship. When that there pigeon tells me the new addy teh send the other pressie at, I'z be coming ashore to mail it. Otherwiselike, yez gonna not get anything til yez go back to work. When like will that be? My landlubber assitantlike feller in that there US of A sez hims not going back teh work until January 2 cuz them US and A boss men knows that their crew all be nursing bad hangovers on Jan 1.


Every dern year its 1 thing or teh other wit these postal people. I tell ya, thems the real pirates. Holding pressies hostage for weeks and weeks, charging obscene amounts of gilders to mail them. Arrrggg.

Tell yez wot - iffin yez give the squeaky gal a home address - I'z send ya something from within the UK so it gets there before 12th night. Jess tell sqeaky lady to PM me. Then, when yez back to work, you have an extra pressie box, I hopes.