Oy Flutie Sarah:

Yell never guess wot I done found down in Davy Jone's locker - yep - yer pressie box somewot inact, mushed in places by fat whales sittin on top offit fer a bit and ragged round the edges by the tentative nibbles of giant squidders. (they don't call 'em arcatoothus fer nothin'! Bwahaha Pirate humour) Took some doin' I tells ya, but I seachred the seven seas for months and months, my labour finally rewarded.

So here's pressie box status - valuables intact, perishibles tossed, canned goods intact, christmas items out-of-date but intact. Fer being a patient santee, I'm a gonna stuff some more pressies inside, take out waterlogged coal and repackage the entire lot.

I gots my landlubbin' assistant lookin ta see iffin we can ship this mother(lode) in a trackable manner this time to avoid any further hijacks byt that evil davy jones. He et yer chocolate by the way, an the pork N beans too.

Squeaky Liz gaves me a new address but....before I sends it again, are ya 1000% sure that's the right one? Lets me know, I'm due into port this saturday for some shore leave then I'm bound for Valparaiso.