I'm by no means a songsmith but I do know a bit about the works of Bill Oddie.
(It's a sort of Elvis/Rockabilly crossover with a "Wah wah-wa-wa-wah" vocal backing !)

RtS I offer you the following:

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

She was just sixteen, she was tall and lean,
She was as ugly as could be,
But I'm ugly too, so she'd have to do,
She was the only girl for me.
Well the poets find, that love is blind,
But alas it isn't true.
In the still of the night, I shake with fright,
When I remember you!

My baby's gone and I oughta be sad,
But to tell you the truth I'm really glad.
'Cos I was sick of the sight of her plain old face,
and now she's gone to a, --- Better Place.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

One day for my tea, she gave to me,
My favourite meal of fish.
And strange to relate she met her fate,
Struck down by her own sweet dish.
With a bone in her throat she was mortally smote,
She died on the kitchen floor.
And to me it seemed she had never been,
So beautiful before

My baby's gone and I oughta be sad,
But to tell you the truth I'm really glad.
'Cos I was sick of the sight of her plain old face,
and now she's gone to a, --- Better Place.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

Well I tried to forget but I haven't yet,
'Cos she's not far away.
In some heavenly land, where fish-bones are banned,
I seem to hear her say.
"Oh! don't you cry, for we all must die,
And one day we're gonna be,
Out of our pain and together again."
AND THAT'S WHATS WORRYING ME!

My baby's gone and I oughta be sad,
But to tell you the truth I'm really glad.
'Cos I was sick of the sight of her plain old face,
and now she's gone to a, --- Better Place.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

AndyG