Possible song challenge?

Subject: Possible song challenge?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 May 00 - 08:59 AM

I'm getting stir-crazy (as opposed to my ususal crazy)now it's nearly the Bank Holiday weekend and when I spotted this in the London Times online:
Jamelia is Parlophone's newest signing - a 17-year-old from Sutton Coldfield whose last single, Money, sold 80,000 copies ...Jamelia's family have reacted in different ways to her fame. Her cousins ask her for endless autographs, to prove they know her; her mother taunts her with her early songs still saved on old cassettes ("They're about fish and people dying,").

I thought, I couldn't write a song about fish and people dying, but I know a talented bunch of people who could!
Or not! Sorry to encroach on Aine's preserve.
RtS
:oD

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 May 00 - 09:06 AM

The possibilities are endless...off the cuff - someone strangling while swallowing goldfish on a dare; diners eating that sushi that is so difficult to prepare; parodies of the Chivalrous Shark

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: TerriM
Date: 26 May 00 - 09:07 AM

" salmonella evening, you may see a stranger"?

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 May 00 - 09:20 AM

"salmonella evening, You may see a stranger
You may see a stranger,across a crowded flume
And somehow you know, you know in your fins
That somehow you'll spawn here again and again.
Samonella evening, someone may be spawning!
You may see her spawning across a crowded flume
And night after night, as strange as it seems,
The sight of her spawning will torment your dreams
Who can explain it, who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons, wise men never try.
Salmonella evening, when you find your true love
When you feel her call you across a crowded flume
Then swim to her side and make her your own
, Or all through your life you may milt on your own
Once you have found her, never let her go.
Once you have found her, never let her go."

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: TerriM
Date: 26 May 00 - 09:35 AM

ROTF: Mmario, I bow to your genius!

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 May 00 - 09:59 AM

At the risk of sounding falsely modest, I don't think it is so much genius as lack of caffiene...(and the side effect of sharing a single functioning brain cell with 27 relatives via hyper-dimensional ganglionic connections, but that's another story)

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 May 00 - 10:13 AM

LOL! Knew you wouldn't let me down!
RtS

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 May 00 - 10:29 AM

I GAVE MY LOVE A DINNER

I gave my love a dinner,
With no good end.
Made his favorite supper,
Just like a friend.
He'd cheated with my sister,
I'll settle their hash!
And walk away from this one,
With lots of lovely cash.

The fish had salmonella
With germs to spawn.
Canned fruit with botulism,
Make sure he'd be gone.
Then steak and unwashed kidneys,
With loving glance,
Dessert, 'a' course, E Coli,
For the life insurance.

How can there be a murder,
Without no trace?
Just throw a dinner party
With a smile upon your face.
Don't use the sink disposal,
To destroy the evidence.
His dog can eat the leftovers--
Yes, that makes evil sense.

The funeral was lovely
The casket pine.
At the reception we held after,
I served his favorite wine.
My sister did not notice
I'd spiked hers with strychnine.
The three of them together
In hell. And I feel fine!

~S~

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 May 00 - 10:31 AM

*BRAVA! BRAVA!*

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: TerriM
Date: 26 May 00 - 10:32 AM

what a deliciously evil lot you all are! I could become a real af-fish-ianado of these songs.

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: Mbo
Date: 26 May 00 - 11:33 AM

Some time ago I suggested "The Crappie Boy"...when someone gonna do that?

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: AndyG
Date: 26 May 00 - 11:59 AM

I'm by no means a songsmith but I do know a bit about the works of Bill Oddie.
(It's a sort of Elvis/Rockabilly crossover with a "Wah wah-wa-wa-wah" vocal backing !)

RtS I offer you the following:

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

She was just sixteen, she was tall and lean,
She was as ugly as could be,
But I'm ugly too, so she'd have to do,
She was the only girl for me.
Well the poets find, that love is blind,
But alas it isn't true.
In the still of the night, I shake with fright,
When I remember you!

My baby's gone and I oughta be sad,
But to tell you the truth I'm really glad.
'Cos I was sick of the sight of her plain old face,
and now she's gone to a, --- Better Place.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

One day for my tea, she gave to me,
My favourite meal of fish.
And strange to relate she met her fate,
Struck down by her own sweet dish.
With a bone in her throat she was mortally smote,
She died on the kitchen floor.
And to me it seemed she had never been,
So beautiful before

My baby's gone and I oughta be sad,
But to tell you the truth I'm really glad.
'Cos I was sick of the sight of her plain old face,
and now she's gone to a, --- Better Place.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

Well I tried to forget but I haven't yet,
'Cos she's not far away.
In some heavenly land, where fish-bones are banned,
I seem to hear her say.
"Oh! don't you cry, for we all must die,
And one day we're gonna be,
Out of our pain and together again."
AND THAT'S WHATS WORRYING ME!

My baby's gone and I oughta be sad,
But to tell you the truth I'm really glad.
'Cos I was sick of the sight of her plain old face,
and now she's gone to a, --- Better Place.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone!

AndyG

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: Jim the Bart
Date: 26 May 00 - 12:16 PM

I hope this works out - I've never tried HTML before.

Jamelia, Jamelia
When will you come home?
Jamelia, Jamelia
I'm waiting by the parlor phone
You are just a young girl, barely seventeen
The world is now your oyster, but you're still your Daddy's queen
I can't blame you for leaving
I know you had to roam
But Jamelia, Jamelia
When will you come home?

Jamelia, Jamelia
When will you come home?
Jamelia, Jamelia
It's so lonely when you're gone
Your Uncle Joe is dieing, Aunt Ethel's slipping fast
Cousin Lou is shooting through, who knows how long he'll last?
Amarilla's fading
Little Willie's feeling low
Jamelia, Jamelia
When will you come home?

BRIDGE:
I'd be so glad to see you
I'd cook your favorite dishes
Some couscous and some cole slaw
And, of course, your favorite fishes
A good sized cod, by the grace of God
A mackerel or a tuna
A muskie or a blowfish
If it brings you to us soona'
We won't ask for your autograph
On your picture before you go
Jamelia, Jamelia
When will you come home?

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 May 00 - 01:06 PM

keep 'em comin'!

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 May 00 - 01:12 PM

Robbie Burns: "All That Glitters Is Not Gold" The cat drowned in the fishbowl.

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 May 00 - 01:36 PM

Well, it seems obvious to me, but then, that's me-- HELLOOO!!! doesn't this call for the unique talents of Guest, Stavros? (He knows who he is, and my laughing lips are sealed.)

*BG*

~S~

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: GUEST,Stavros
Date: 26 May 00 - 02:35 PM

My Father went for seafood, one fine night
Down by the shore, by the Eddystone Light
He met a mermaid, who said, said she
FUGU I shall, but don't kiss me!

Yo Ho HO, Don't blame it on me!
My father had a taste for sashimi!

From this union, there came three
A puffer, a blowfish, and then there's me
Mom taught me to swim, and helped me sail
Dad just showed me how best to get tail!

Yo Ho HO, Don't blame it on me!
My father had a taste for sashimi!

My brother's the puffer, like a chimney he smokes
Coughing and hacking and quite often chokes
It's not a matter of addiction and will
It's just his lungs are really fish gills!

Yo Ho HO, Don't blame it on me!
My father had a taste for sashimi!

My sister the blowfish, likes sailors a lot
When they put out bait, she always gets caught
In fact, they all swear, if she only had feet
She'd be the belle of the whole Seventh Fleet

Yo Ho HO, Don't blame it on me!
My father had a taste for sashimi!

Dad died, last night, only fifty three
He kissed Mom for their anniversary
She always said FUGU, DOn't kiss me!
For her lips were loaded with toxicity!

Yo Ho HO, Don't blame it on me!
My father had a taste for sashimi!

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 May 00 - 04:38 PM

Welcome, dear Stavros! How utterly vile and despicable! A wonderful debut effort!

Just getting warmed up, then?

~S~

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: Bradypus
Date: 26 May 00 - 06:37 PM

The obvious one is simply to quote 'Molly Malone', provided shellfish count as fish. If I have time, I'll be back.

Bradypus

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: Bradypus
Date: 26 May 00 - 07:18 PM

OK, let's have a sea shanty then ...

Killer Fish of the Sea

Come all you young sailormen, listen to me
I'll tell you of killers that live in the sea
And its

Chorus

Windy weather boys, stormy weather
When the fish come, they'll attack us together
Blow ye winds westerly. Blow ye winds blow
Of fish and of dying you've all got to know

The electric eel stings with a huge fatal jolt
Not kilo, not mega, but full gigavolt
And its …

The archer fish shoots and he shoots really mean
His arrows are tipped with deadly strichnine
And its …

Pirhannas are known to strip flesh from the bone
Just dangle your fingers, you'll never get home
And it's …

The killer whale kills, and he kills with one bite
A snap from his jaws, and then out goes your light
And it's …

Don't swallow a goldfish, of this please take note
He'll make every effort to stick in your throat
And it's …

Now salmon is good, the Italians say 'Bella'
But he comes with his friend, and she's called Salmonella
And it's …

I once had a friend, kept koi carp in a pond
One day he slipped in, now he's far gone beyond
And it's …

At sea or on shore, by pond or by river
The fish aim to get you, and kill you forever
And it's …

When your singing improves, you'll then get your wish
You'll no more sing songs about dying and fish
And it's …

Subject: RE: Possible song challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 May 00 - 08:22 PM

Stavros, I will have to leave the song of the Devilish Mudcat Death to you. I just cannot get my mind organized. But of course the mudcat IS a fish....

~S~