The following lyrics are from the sheet music at Detroit Public Library. You can hear a recording of Bert Williams singing this song at The Internet Archive.


MY LANDLADY
Words by Ferd E. Mierisch and Jas. T. Brymn; music by Bert A. Williams; ©1912.

1. My pa and ma always told me
I should not ignore nobody,
But there's one soul I hates to see
And that is my landlady.
She's there the minute that you owe.
She needs no almanac to show,
And don't care if your funds are low.
That sure is my landlady.

CHORUS: Just like a ghost, through the hall she starts a-sneakin'.
If you owe your rent, 'round your door she starts a-sweepin'.
While you lay in bed a-wond'rin' what excuse to hand your landlady,
She can look directly in your eyes.
Seems she knows exactly when you're telling lies.
If there's one female I do despise,
It is my, yes, it's my landlady.

2. While flirting on the old Q T
With someone just a block from me,
When I got close it proved to be
No one but my landlady.
I wish the law would come and say
The third degrees you have full sway.
The one I'd put through right away
Would be that old landlady.