Well, I guess I am going to be the one to play devils advocate here ;D

I do know people who have managed to remain friends even after a split. Her impetus is not necessarily one of wanting to play both sides. I have both in my past. Those with whom I remain friends, and those with whom I would prefer having no contact. Usually, the person has to have been a complete and utter shit to me for the latter to occur. She *may* merely want to continue the friendship that was at the core of your romantic involvement, and doesn't even realize that it's hard on you.

There is no easy way to tell which it is though. She may not even know herself if she is harboring some lingering desires for you.

The end result is, regardless of her impetus (pure or otherwise), if *you* would rather not remain buddy buddy, she *NEEDS* to honor your feelings and leave you to get on with your life in your own way. If not, do what I did with my last ex who actually had the audacity (after a couple of years of emotional abuse and neglect, and attempts to control *every* blinking aspect of my life) to berate me for not wanting to be pals.

Pull out all the stops and give her your raw emotions. But, only after the diplomacy runs out.