Dear Juke box police. I knew I shouldn't have done it, and please believe me when I say ..choke..sob..I'm sorry! But you gotta hear my side of the story. Every night I hadda play "Fields of Athenrae"..Twice! and, and, yes.."The Band Played Waltzing Matilda", until I wished those Turks had wiped 'em all out! But there's more! Some drunk always wanted to get on stage and sing "Danny Boy"..and when I'd try to amuse myself by putting in a couple of diminished chords or an F#m6, they'd tell me I was playing it wrong! Then the management brings in that damn juke box. (in the seventeenth century they called it "the devils privy" you know) Look copper, I still had some of my sanity, but then the customers started playing Neil Diamond songs on my breaks! I cracked. When otherwise decent human beings started asking me for "Cracklin' Rosie", I knew I hadda do something, so I turned to the "Elmer's people" for help, and dammit, their glue cost less than an AK 47! Please have mercy on me.