I have been asked by some aquaintances of khandu to give an update of his condition.
I am Dr. Rick Eric Ardo of the James Taylor Rehab Unit on Catonic Blandness. I am the Physician-in-Charge of all seemingly hopeless cases.

At this time, khandu is not responding well. Occassionally, a brightness appears in his otherwise blank eyes and he mumbles something that sounds like "Wow! Kerosene!".

We have given him several enemas in the last hour. His pre-enema condition may have been a major factor in his deterioration. He was, as we say in medical terms, "full of shit". We have, for the moment alleviated that condition.

I am in discussion with the renown Dr. Fredinethel Mertz. Dr. Mertz say that it is a most unusual case, in that, not only is the patient suffering catatonia, but it seems that strips of beard, moustache and skin on his face have been torn off. This has deeply perplexed Dr Mertz and me.

We are considering drastic measures which have been used only on a few cases world-wide. However, these measures have been successful in torturing spies, POW's and such, and causing them to be vunerable to "brain-washing", which is exactly what Dr. Mertz believes this patient must have, since he was, as we say in medical terminology, "so full of shit".

"It is apparent that khandu's mind was contaminated by a prodigious amount of this substance which we refer to, in medical terminology, as 'shit' ." Dr. Mertz was quoted as saying.

Immediately after this posting is complete, I will return to the bedside of khandu and begin the treatment. I will order that a set of headphones be placed on the patient's ears, to which we will have attached a continuous playing of the "hits" of Tommy Roe and a song called "Thousand Dollar Car", by a man named Bobert. Twenty-four hours of this torturous treatment and I believe we will be able to rebuild the mind of khandu and get him back to his old self.

To whom do I send the bill?

Dr. Rick Eric Ardo