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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Dr. Fredinethel Mertz BS: Gala FIREWORKS Display by Cletus and Paw (42) RE: BS: Gala FIREWORKS Display by Cletus and Paw 19 Apr 03


To update you on the bizzare fellow you call khandu:

It is with much sadness and a heavy heart that I must report that we have lost khandu. It was a shock to the whole staff here at the James Taylor Rehab Unit on Catatonic Blandness. It appeared that he was responding well to our treatments; he had regained some sense of coherency and was performing simple tricks. He would sit up, roll over, speak and play dead upon command.

As we were running him through his routine for the entertainment of the patients of the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed (they loved it when he did the "poo-poo on the doctor's shoe" routine!), he suddenly took a turn for the nurse. He pinched her on her, as we say in medical terminology, "pert little jiggly ass",and was overheard to say, "Hey baby, wanna be a Royal Dancin' Tart? Point me in the direction of Mississippi!"

At this point, he bolted from his leash and jumped through an opened window. We have searched for him to no avail. We have lost him.

It is our assumption that he is Mississippi bound.

He left behind various personal effects; an autographed picture of Lawrence Welk, a Mel Bay "How to play the Accordion" instructional book, a nude pictorial entitled "Tweed and Catspaw's Frolic in the Fields of Love", and a Cherokee head-dress.

If any of you hear from him, please contact us here at once. He is not fully recuperated and I fear that, unless he is returned to complete his restoration, there will be unpleasant side-effects.

Thank you,

Dr. Mertz


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