Oh I get it this this ere Red and White Rabbit is really a woman. Mind yer I still don't remember getting hitched unless it happened when Big Bertha an me drank that bottle of surgical spirit out of the medical cupboard.

Anyway if I can win this duel thing, do I get me leg over this rabbit bint ? If so I'm definitely interested. Could we ave this contest somewhere near Chingford though, or pehaps in a East End pub you know Mile End Road or somewhere. I've got me bus pass, but I've never eard of these places like Cleckheaton or Saddleworth - are they south of the river coz you'll never get me over there - mindyer I wouln't mind going up west to one of them posh places though.

Anyway who's this bloke what I've got ter beat, McFat is he some overweight scottish geezer - I reckon it'd be a doddle. Let's ave a few more details and don't forget to send that letter to matron.

Noreen love - if you come round to the home at visiting time, I'm sure I could get Big Bertha and Loose Liz to introduce us - though Big Bertha does get a bit jealous of uvver birds - she didn't alf cop that nurse one when she was elping me to get me trousers off the other day . . . .