Duel - MC Fat & Old Git

Subject: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 05:15 AM

Seeing as Red & White Rabbitt has bigamously wed both moi and the Old Git. I am proposing to challenge him to a duel by folk song    ( hurrah !!) at a venue to be decided. A song a piece who wins decided by the audience reaction winner gets the hand of the wabbit.
So Shanties versus Burns !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 05:29 AM

MC Fat, I will gladly be your second, I learnt the art at the feet of Bulstrode McFarland of Wheatstone, who, some would argue, was the finest second ever to hold a kerchief. I feel we will be a formidable duo and too much of a match for this usurper.
I have new spare strings, pliers, wirecutters, the Bert Weddon play- with-yourself-in-a-day handbook, voice tablets, a fast winder and of course a plentiful supply of beer. In addition I will prepare whatever you feel is require to deal with this puny foe

Yours in Chivalry


Lord Raggy

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 05:33 AM

Can I be one of the audience, Jim? Sounds fun...

(Mine's a pint of Black Sheep!)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 05:43 AM

Well the Old Git has to accept the challenge Noreen but an audience would be required and of course bribed if needed. Thanks Raggy for the offer of being my second which I shall of course accept 'my liege'. One for All and All for Fat.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Bassic
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 05:43 AM

"Off with his head!!", "Kick im in the nadgers!!", "Throw im in the pool!!"   Just adding a little athmosphere :-)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: nutty
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 05:59 AM

This really does deserve to be moved to the "Bloody Silly" Catagory at the bottom of the page.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:02 AM

Sorry Hazel, but it's musical!
(But it probably does deserve a place below the drivel line)

Btw, does the lovely multicoloured bunny have any say in this?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:15 AM

Scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap.....!!!

Go Jimboy, I have faith in you.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:31 AM

Ta Pete but it means i need the wurds for Payday cos with you and Hazel's harmonies then it will be a weapon of mass destruction !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:32 AM

'ere - I aint got hitched to any type of rabbit - I've 'ad the odd sheep in me time, but rabbits are likely ter kick and bite and shite over yer. They usually pong as well - not as bad as Big Bertha's draws though - the laundry in the home refuses to wash 'em now - so she don't often wear any these days.

Anyway I don't 'old wiv getting hitched even when I've got em in the family way - mind yer, if that's the problem she could come round to the home and Loose Liz'll fix er problem wiv a good old-fashioned button-ook.

Now a song and boozing competition that sounds OK - specially if someone else is paying for the booze. The only problem is getting out of the home - matron's bin keeping watch on me and they took away me zimmer frame wiv wheels on after they caught Big Bertha an me having mobile sex on it up and down the landing.

If someone were to write to Matron at The Bellvue Retirement Home (thats a laugh - ow could I retire when I never worked a day in all me life), Chingford, ESSEX, requesting my company for a special concert perhaps she might let me out - don't say nuffin about the booze though or she'll wanna come too.

I'd need a second though - Noreen, are you that bird in the red blouse in the members photos ? - if so, how do yer fancy 'olding me dentures while I sing ? If not I could always try ter get Big Bertha instead - but she'd drink all the booze.

Blow it - 'ere comes matron again must be off - I'll keep an eye out for that invite . . . .

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:32 AM

Sire, May I recommend the insertion of one of your rapier like drop D ballads right up his jacksy, not very sporting I admit, but damned effective

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,little legs Padgett
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:34 AM

I've been getting reports about all this, I think i've got the gist ~ altho its not catching
Cleckheaton or Saddleworth could be good venues? altho appears to be a Duellist short at the mo'

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:49 AM

Dear Mr D. O. Git,

I fear that, as we have not yet been formally introduced, I will on this occasion be forced to decline your kind offer.

Yours sincerely,

Noreen

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 06:55 AM

Shall be at Cleckythump on the Saturday have booked into Wickham Arms for B&B also going to Saddleworth both venues for a duel cos I believe the Old Git is going to at least one if not both

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Bassic
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 07:56 AM

Dont worry OG, I detect a shift in fortunes following the Kate Rusby revelations!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 08:04 AM

Oh I get it this this ere Red and White Rabbit is really a woman. Mind yer I still don't remember getting hitched unless it happened when Big Bertha an me drank that bottle of surgical spirit out of the medical cupboard.

Anyway if I can win this duel thing, do I get me leg over this rabbit bint ? If so I'm definitely interested. Could we ave this contest somewhere near Chingford though, or pehaps in a East End pub you know Mile End Road or somewhere. I've got me bus pass, but I've never eard of these places like Cleckheaton or Saddleworth - are they south of the river coz you'll never get me over there - mindyer I wouln't mind going up west to one of them posh places though.

Anyway who's this bloke what I've got ter beat, McFat is he some overweight scottish geezer - I reckon it'd be a doddle. Let's ave a few more details and don't forget to send that letter to matron.

Noreen love - if you come round to the home at visiting time, I'm sure I could get Big Bertha and Loose Liz to introduce us - though Big Bertha does get a bit jealous of uvver birds - she didn't alf cop that nurse one when she was elping me to get me trousers off the other day . . . .

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 08:55 AM

Me thinks Dirty Old Git and Old Git are different folks does this mean I've got to fight

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 09:45 AM

Have not a care, young Harry McFat, I have a feeling that if we saw one half of one of his walking sticks we can incapacitate the old fellow and have hime hobbling round in circles.
That should afford us enough time to deal with this usurper who purports to be wedded to the lovely Rabbit.

Yours in Chivalry, not to say a little underhanded deviousness as well

Lord Raggy

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 10:06 AM

me thinks I will have to wax me tash so that twist it like in the Victorian melodramas

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 11:43 AM

Oi - you fat scotsman - you try anyfing like that and Big Bertha would flatten yer. I reckon it's a case of mistaken identity - like that bird wiv the mole on her boob and the tattoo on her bum wot tried it on wiv me once - never seen er before as I told the old bill.
I was a bit puzzled why you wanted to ave a duel when it was this fella Moi wot had married er - I thought you might be talking about old Moise Isaacs wot used to have a shellfish stall down the Roman Road - but ee snuffed it years ago.

Anyway anytime yers wants a singin or boozin contest you just come down ere and we're show you a thing or two.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 12:34 PM

Methinks perhaps there is a great deal of confusion owing to the closeness in name to number one husband and the gent who sounds somewhat southern to me.

Let me put you all the picture - three husbands and one fiance - cant afford the divorce parties so it seemed better just not to tell the others!!

Number one husband's name is OLD GIT not DIRTY OLD GIT - he has gone up to Scotland for the weekend on a fact finding mission prior to accepting the challenge to the duel - Number three husbands name is MCFAT - please note I have reverted to original name( R&W rabbit) so as not to be seen to be taking sides in this duel by calling myself MRS MCFAT now - MCFAT and I are due to divorce pre next Beverley so that I can marry Paul.
Sire's I cannot bare the thought of another husband in the serious Burns unit ( that for those of you who are interested that is where number two husband has spent much of this year)and if the OLD GIT had to perform a shanty would not he need another 3 seconds all singing the same to accompany him? and I am sure ladies you can understand that that three seconds is not long enough!!

So now you all no - and Les from Hull I am sure you snog better than Kate Rusby - oops wrong thread!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 11:42 PM

From the sound of things, epithets at 30 paces would be completely ineffective.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 02:59 AM

I have just read back my drivel - I am not sure what you all 'no' but you do 'know' could I spell it 'gno' and use it to mean either - maybe I will just stick to sign langauge (never was any good at multi-tasking and thinking and typing comes into that category)

Anyway now that I have extended the drivel I have just seen MCFAT and discussed said duel - so whether you lot say 'no' or not he wants a duel. Since OLD GIT doesnt know if he can make it to Clekythump and they are both on the bill for the late night extra at Saddleworth that seems a good venue to me. MCFAT is concerned he wont have enough supporters there though

ALIO if you are out there you might have a new session to rival the wars of the roses - still cant understand how you can get a little fat Scot to represent Yorkshire

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 03:00 AM

notice I have now gone really annonymous!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 03:18 AM

just realised my mis - spelt word could have appeared on another thread - can we play a game of tenous links- maybe I will start a new thread

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: vectis
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 06:57 PM

Hold the duel at Whitby and I'll do the first aid.
Ooohh i do luv a good kiss of life :-))
Mary

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,concerned and confused
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 04:40 AM

hows this ere duel going to work - stand back to back walk ten paces and then let rip? are you ging to right the songs down and then origami them into sword and then fight?

come on 'give us a clue - does that mean I support old git as that is one of his lines?

Good idea about whitby the loser could throw themselves off the pier. Raggy Its nice to see you made yourself useful - suprised at you wanting to be second though!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 12:12 PM

Sounds like pissed trolls at dawn .....

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 06:00 AM

Perhaps it's 'the Duel of the Tight 'uns'. Having put down the challenge. I await the Old Git's reply. Perhaps Whitby would be an idea. However may need to be on a neutral venue such as 'Le Equine Noir' as home advantage at Tap or Endeavour may skew the result.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 09:20 PM

If you are that serious, come to NY. We will row you over to the duelling grounds at Weehawken, NJ, where Hamilton and Burr met. We will lend you rubber swords or pistols that shoot out little flags that say "BANG" and let you do this right. If one of you dies, the other should be totally surprised and embarassed. Besides, it's a good excuse for a party.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Old git
Date: 01 Jul 03 - 08:11 PM

just picked up this thread after my return from the west coast of scotland
right near burns country
ok   i accept
but does Mcfat know any shanties?

missed something along the line
how did kate rusby get involved??

Saddleworth or Whitby are fine
can't make cleckie

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 02:13 AM

now I am really worried

pissed trolls at dawn that shout bang and tightuns that drop dead singing shanties -

MR ebarnacle lets forget these two - you could row them over and leave them there and I'll stick with you - a party sounds like a great idea (are you husband number 5 material though? - well you know us rabbits we're always on the lookout)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 04:34 AM

Avast me hearties, the Old Git accepts ze challenge. Looks like it will have to be Sadleworth although both of us are working so a 'window of opportunity' may be hard to find. However at Whitby there's a whole week of 'windows'. I thought I heard the Old Git say John can knack his knackers toor a lay.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 06:26 AM

James,
With me as your loyal second I can confidently say, that come the day, we can knacker his knackers and then go on a laying tour. You'd best tell the Rabbit to get her mattress restuffed.

As always Sire, your in Chivalry and Inderhanded deviousness

Raggy

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 06:38 AM

Blood Blood Blood - preferably red

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 06:49 AM

Underhand and devious is the way Raggy

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Morticia
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 08:05 AM

Is R&W Rabbit going to become a Widow of Opportunity then?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 08:55 AM

Red and White, I accept. It sounds like the perfect denouement to the foolishness of the event. EBarnacle

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 11:11 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Old Git
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 02:11 PM

ae fond kiss and then I'll sever.....
any seconds?
I've never refused seconds

still confused about the Kate Rusby connection

we'll get this over with and then we can run rabbit run

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 03:05 PM

or should that be
won wabbit won!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 03:12 PM

will it be broadside to broadside?

any one who knows us both will understand that!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 02:18 AM

Mr EBarnacle - since they are now talking about stuffing rabbits and baying for blood I reckon your party sounds like a good idea to me - do you know the price of shipping bunnies to the States from West Yorks? I am quite up on the cost of weddings - so we could make the party a wedding reception if you like?

Geoff you would have to approach Alio and ask permission for Geoff to be your second - infact he could be your body (and name double) wonder what he's like in bed?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 05:00 AM

There is aparantly a window of opportunity at Saddleworth in't afternoon on Saturday. Perhaps Glenn can be your second 'Old Git'

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 08:46 AM

I don't know what the airfare is. I am, however, at your service. As to the possibility of a wedding reception, isn't it a good idea to dispose of the previous vis a vis first? The possibility of marooning them on an isle in the middle of the bay is getting more and more attractive.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 12:51 PM

Ebarnacle - I thought you had realised that the reason for the duel is because unlike the extremely clever praying mantis I do not seem to dispose of previous males - cant affrd the divorce parties or coffins!!!! By the way who pays out for the coffins if I do become a widow of oppotunity?

not sure if MCFAT would like to be marooned on an island but since the old git is in favour of sea songs and shanties it might be a fitting end for him - MCFAT would probably prefer death by alcohol poisoning - do they make a good wheat beer in the States? You could just set him afloat with that and hs much beloved EPIPHONE and I dont think he would care what you and I were up to - sorry Raggy I guess you wouldnt receive your inheritance that way though

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 04:28 PM

I'll make it easier for you to dispose of this one
I concede!
Losing is not in my vocab and this is an easier way out
i'm throwing in the towel before it gets blood stained

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 04:32 PM

Bassic
i'm still curious about the Kate rusby revelations
what revelations?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 07:37 PM

Snogged Kate Rusby last night.

There you go, old git.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 02:05 AM

If you allow them to be marooned, they can dispose of each other with no trouble for anyone else, sort of like the Kilkenny cats.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 02:10 AM

looks like its all off anyway

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 05:04 AM

I shall savour the sweet meats of victory at Clecky with my twusty second Sir Raggytash of Glocar. Just as I was getting into the Keith Marsden songbook !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 06:28 AM

Left left right steady man, Victory is yours, we shall celebrate in grand style in the Wykeham Arms this very evening

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 09:46 AM

Ah, well, the code duello is honored more in the breech[es] now than in the field of honor. As was said to a certain martyr on his way to being crucified: We all have our crosses to bear. Lady Hillary might look askance at sharing my affections with another beautiful woman, anyway.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 12:56 PM

Had I known you were betrothed to another I would not have suggested that we share a rabbit hole - the other two are wed to others and look where that got me!!!

Raggy you wont be able to celebrate til Saturday night - I offered MCfat to stay at my place Friday night but he has chickened out - didnt want childers jumping up and down on him at 6.00 am!!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 10:57 AM

Not betrothed, but very good friends. As Robinson states, "Joy shared is multiplied, sadness shared is lessened."

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 04:37 AM

Well I would hate to come between you and a loved one - besides us rabbits are not keen swimmers and it in the words of the song ( well almost) 'itts a long long way from there to here!'

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 04:42 AM

For any of you who might still be stickig with the thread Raggy was knighted with my low D whislte at Cleckhuddersfax for his services - victory was claimed without a song being sung.

However, MCFAT is not content with this - he accepts that the duel for a lady ( dont know who she is) may not be the 'done thing' but feels the duel should still take place. He wishes to put Burns songs into their rightful place as singaround favourites - is the duel between shanties and Burns still to take place old git? will you now duel for the honour of your songs?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 05:48 AM

Ok
but perhaps with a twist in the tail(brings water to my eyes!!)
how about Mcfat singing shanties if he can handle the subtle nuances and gentle lyricism whilst I belt out the burns

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 11:03 AM

date time and place please?
What happens if someone else turns up and beats both???

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 01:24 PM

well I have just returned from Cleckythump festival where Ray 'little legs Padgett' has agreed to be umpire/ referee or second depending on what role is required -he's actually been banned by work from going on mudcat so I could say anything about him here and he wouldnt know!!!

Having looked at the programme for Saddleworth Festival in two weeks there may be a window of opportunity Saturday Afternoon - we just have to find a venue - The Wagon is usually a good place if they dont throw us out because they are serving food to those wimps who do solids at folk festivals

Guest Noddy -is there a rival group of songs to Burns versus Shanties ?- can you have a three legged duel? I thought duel was for two contestants but if you want to appear and challenge you will need a second - so far MCFAT has Bulstrode and Geoff might have Geoff or Padge. If this event is to go ahead I feel there should be a prize - since I am no longer the prize I feel that I should perhaps provide it - cant be a guitar in hunting tartan but I do have a glass tankard I could engrave for the winner!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 06:49 PM

Me sing??? What's a tune???? Just call me a coward.
I was simply postulating the posibility of another person or persons unbeknownst to the facts of the fact of a duel or for that matter wanting the prize for themselves???? But now you say you're not up for grabs. OOOPs. Almost gave the game away.
I will be at Saddleworth but in my alter ego.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 02:06 AM

I would never call anyonea coward - thats what brings about these duels!! - I never said I wasn't up for grabs - just that the focus of the duel has now changed to fighting for the homour of which type of song is most successful or something!!

I am still on the lookout for husband number 5 now that EBarnacle has blown me out in favour of his american princess - husband number 1 decided I wasnt worth fighting for - husband number 3 has just gone back to his wife and he who was potential husband number 4 for Beverley next year has apparently deserted me too, as he hasnt been seen on mudcat for ages!!

Perhaps I am just not wife material!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Alio
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 07:08 AM

We've got loads of windows in Saddleworth thankyou - we pay our taxes here!!!

I have to warn you, though, that we can't have any violence in God's country. The last bit of bloodshed was when the Lankies tried to take us over, and we had to repel them!!

Ali

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 11:16 AM

I thowt it were 'Lankies what were repulsive! Discuss.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 11:32 AM

Have a care here Sire, I can feel the reverebrations of another duel forming

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 12:13 PM

Lord Raggy since thou art now knighted and can bare arms ( t - shirt and english summer permitting) thou canst now challenge Sir Les and demand satisfaction
- sirah I prithee though take care for living in Yorkshire as thou dost now thou mightest have problems with missing hub caps etc Hearing Les sing 'Satisfaction' now that really is a challenge!!

Sir Les art Lankies another name for giants - if so thou art mistaken Cos the uddersfield giants are definetly from Yorkshire!!

Alio - didnt mean to imply you didnt have windows or pay your taxes but I was under the impression that you had been over run by said Lancashire heathens and that you were witholding your taxes to pay John Long Whistle to raise an army to free you!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 07:24 PM

Les, I am reminded by the lamantations of the Rabbit of the biblical proclamation

"she weepeth sore in the night, and her tears are on her cheeks: amongst ALL her lovers she hath none to comfort her: all her friends have dealt treacherously with her, they are become her enemies"

(The Lamentations of Jeremiah Chapter 1, 2)

Basically the Rabbit seems to be going a bit short but gets her kicks by having men behead each other in a fight over her dubious honour, by her own admission she's after husband number five.












Bangs like a shit-house door in the wind ...............allegedly

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 09:48 PM

Raggy, I expect to be in Blighty in August. Insulting a lady is never good form. Have your sword ready.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 09:55 PM

PS, Raggy, you may choose foil or epee.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 02:57 AM

Raggy - I am totally gutted - I thought you were the faithful servant and supporter of my Lord MCFat - I leave him to look for another only because I have learnt he has another with whom he has sired offspring

my honour is not dubious - perhaps the term husband has been used somewhat loosely but I demand commitment from my men - once I find a man ready to be committed then I will have found the perfect partner!! Rabbit hole in Bedlam here we come!! I cant help it if I become loyal and true to these men only to find out they still have wives in tow!!!

Thank you EBarnacle for defending my honour knowing Raggy it will be foil - just be careful what he wraps it round!! He might even enlist MCfats support and I can vouch that his foil has a secret ingredient contained within - a loyal mouseketeer!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 05:05 AM

I am indeed the faithful and loyal servany of MC Fat, how have you the audacity to doubt it. I am the one person upon whom he can rely ! You attempt to get the gallant knight murdered by another of your conquests and when that ruse fails you, due to the cowardice of your concubine yuo attempt to get yet another suitor to do a dastardly deed unto him. Now you seek to bring foreigners into the fray, reminiscent of the ignoble acts of treachery inflicted upon our virtuous virgin queene Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the First by the unfaithful and disloyal Mary.
Thsi time your plots will again fail, your murderous counterpart apparently want to fight with something you wrap chickens in to cook and a long playing single record. He shall face the wrath of both myself and my noble Lord ere he ever chances upon these shores, this sceptred isle , this island fortress

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 05:40 AM

My dear Lord Raggy - I didnt ask my noble lord McFat to challenge my ex -concubine - 'husband' number 1 ( I cant help it if I am irresistable and old git still feels he needs to protect me - after all we have known each other for mmore years than I want to admit to) Neither do I ask the errant Sir EBarnacle to take up arms against my Leige's second to protect my honour - he does it because a rabbits honour has been threatened knowing that I would not dream of approaching him since he is bethrothed to another.

Besides - I dont want my lord MCFat killed - how could I live without my love? - if you really wanted to do a service might I suggest poison in his Fist Lady's chalice - something undetectable in white wine would do the job - cant even drink proper wine and calls herself a lady - at which point I might become heiress to my Liege's betting slips, Lotto ticket and Epi and perhaps then you and I could come to some arrangement?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 05:44 AM

Eh ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:10 AM

Fist(?) lady
the mind boggles!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:13 AM

yes she beats him up - why do you think he knows so much about duels or with my spelling perhaps thats duals as there are two of you

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:28 AM

so now that Mcfat has torn himself away from the fist we need to talk terms!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,The Hologram of MC Fat
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:37 AM

Sirrah I and my twusty leige Sir Raggy accept the duel consider Stan Hugill to be leren-ed by the time we meet . A's for the Anchor that stands by our bough, B's for the Bowsprits.... Methinks that the Burns may be harderer....

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 07:37 AM

The Old Git offers terms Mc Fat my Lord, vast quantities of ale and stout come to mind, lets not be too hasty in our desire to rid the good planet earth of this lowly creature, he may yet have some saving grace ................... and as for EBarnacle, anything that attaches itself to a ship's arse shouldn't be any match for such as ourselves

Go down you blood red roses, go down !

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 08:23 AM

Raggy, consider that in days of lore, a barnacle was considered capable of completely stopping a ship under full sail. It would be wise to know what you are doing before you start insulting people. As you don't seem to like foil, epee will do nicely. It would seem that no poison is needed to deal with poltroons like you.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 08:45 AM

so what pray laird , are the conditions
is it one shot apiece or a brace or a whole volley
must know whether to prepare my duelling pistols or my blunderbuss

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 08:46 AM

ps
am not averse to the ale and stout

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 09:06 AM

Well it could be broadside to broadside. A song a piece taken in turn we should have a. The Shanty Round b. The Burns Round c. Swimsuit Round (optional) d. The Drinking Round e. Song of Choice Round. Referree/Umpire to be Little Legs Padgett, scoring by the Clap-om-itor. Prize - the honour of winning and a curly-wurly

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 09:27 AM

I'm looking forward to the evening dress round, myself.

Mmmmm shanties in evening dress... Slingbacks rather than Shellbacks...

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 09:36 AM

earrings rather than 'errings

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 09:47 AM

Can we have interviews and extra marks for saying we would like to travel abroad and work with children !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 10:33 AM

My Noble Lord MC Fat, it seems that I am being drawn into battle with EBarnacle, do you have any rusty old equipment I could utilise to deal with this wanton raggamuffin , it scarely seems necessary to tarnish our full armour.
However he may be perchance an "American Cousin" who does not fully comprehend the emormous task he is prevailing upon his pitiful self. I think I may need to take pity on the poor misguided fool. He says he will be visting this fair country in August, do you think we should extend a welcome to him and perhaps invite him to join our table at one of the fine hostelries in the fair town of Whitby.
I would not want to be seen as taking advantage of a half wit by putting him to the sword.
I would be indebted for your consideration

Lord Raggy

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 10:33 AM

The only way is face to face. The Renaissance had it right. Dueling swords, not firearms.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 10:46 AM

Ah sirrah faeces to faeces (is that a spelling mistook) myself and Sir Raggy will perchance meet with you in a hostelry. Sir Raggy is an adept poisoner and could quite easily slip you a Micky Finn but however methinks as you come from the colonies that the drink thou suppest will be a girly @Disco Piss' lager type.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 11:03 AM

wow - this is really hotting up - can I come and watch?

Noreen if you'd been watching channel 5 last night you would have seen in the States that they have a naked round now as well as an evening wear and swimwear round - that should clear the pub nicely to allow us girlies chance to partake of some beverages

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 11:11 AM

Does that mean G strings and thongs

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 11:52 AM

I could sing that well known song from the musicals "With a thong in my arse!"

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 11:55 AM

EBarnacle ,
isn't face to face something to do with missionaries?
duelling bibles?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 03:59 PM

Ebarny
'consider that in days of lore, a barnacle was considered capable of completely stopping a ship under full sail.'

They were also thought to change into geese. If you get a move on you could save yourself a fortune in air fares. Seriously, though if you're over here in August, Whitby Folk Week is well worth the visit. Just watch out for the vessel with the pestle.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:37 PM

EBarnacle, for once on a serious note, Les is correct when he tells you that Whitby Folk Week is superb. Starting officially on Saturday 16th August (this year) (unofficially on the night or sometimes 2 nights before) it is a celebration of British folk music which ranges from the traditional to the contemporary with everything imaginable in between thrown in. The are many organised events, about 700 hours worth in over 20 venues around a delightful fishing come tourist town. In addition is "the fringe" which is free, gratis and for nothing, where people such as myself, MC Fat, Old Git, Les from Hull and many many others gather in pubs and basically sing all day and night. If you are seriously coming over send a Pm and whatever assistance you need when here I, and I am sure others, will do our utmost to provide.
Whitby is situated on the North East Coast of England in the county of Yorkshire (North Yorkshire for the more pedantic amongst you), the nearest major town is Leeds, about 60 miles away.
Cheers
Raggy

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:55 PM

I'll second all the above!
No...I'm not talking about a duel again
I love Whitby!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 01:19 AM

Regrettably, that weekend I am performing at a Monmouth County Clearwater festival in Asbury Park, New Jersey. The venue is only a block or two from the Stone Pony, [most famous for Bruce Springsteen], now sadly almost guaranteed to be torn down as an "urban renewal" measure.

The reason for my likely visit is that I am the marketing/research director for a non-toxic, environmentally friendly ship bottom coating which meets the EU 2003 standard. When I was first approached about this product 5 years ago, I could not believe that it could prevent marine fouling. If our current set of tests is successful, I will be negotiating with Hempel Paints and Coatings for a worldwide distributorship. That would give me the excuse to stop over your way.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 01:28 AM

By the bye, I do apreciate the invite. Perhaps we can do it another week.

It's almost a shame this thread has turned civil. I had spoken with a friend in Denmark who was willing to sail me across in a 17 metre Viking ship [Sebbe Als] and do a proper landing.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 02:21 AM

well I am turning it uncivil - if there is such a word - Raggy thats it - I am going to do all in my power to prevent your inheritance of my beloveds epiphone - I'll import people from the whole of christendom to duel you if I have to - the reason - you spout on about Whitby and is there a mention of a little Red and white rabbit - or even a big red and white rabbit - no!!

If I werent a lady I would challenge you myself. And you Old Git - you seconded him - so much for undying love and backing out of the duel to save my honour - yellow chevrons on a yellow shield might well be your colours you cad! MCFAT you are strangely silent! No strawberries and cream for dessert for you !!

Ebarnacle might I challenge you to invent another environmentally friendly coating - one that includes body armour - helmet and guantlets to rid the world of these ungentlemanly folk. Besides I now have visions of your tanned muscular body leaping ashore from a viking ship like Kirk Douglas or Tony Curtis in 'the Viking' - are you sure you are betrothed?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 02:32 AM

by the way EBarnacle - it is a good festival if you ever can make it over in August one year - if you are into boats and ships and things one of the tall ships is usually organised to be in for the week - I know the Endeavour is just due to leave but if my mother is right - not a common occurance I know - the Grand Turk is due to be in for Whitby week! Myself,I hate boats - I get seasick looking at them

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,The Hologram of MC Fat
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 05:00 AM

Eee Bah Gum. Whas all dis den. My non holgram person is duelling wivout banjos. Jus thought that in between rounds we can have a scantily clad girlie holding aloft a card saying 'Round 2' just like at boxing. Can we add a 'wet t-shirt' round ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 09:03 AM

EBarnacle,
Tread carefully with those Danes, they were once an invader of Britain who formed Kingships in Northern & Eastern England, they demanded and got Danegeld (a form of ransom) from other areas of the country for not knocking seven shades of s**t of out them. They were treacherous, violent, devious, dishonest,untrustworthy bastards, who would sell their own Granny down the river for tuppence (a very small amount of money)
You would do well to take heed of my warning as I speak with some considerale authority having descended from a long line of Vikings who first invaded this country over a thousand years ago. My surname translates from ancient Norse as "The Wild one", we are noted for being crooked, wild, awkward and difficult.
As for trusting one in a boat .............. survival time in the North Sea is about 4 minutes
Furthermore the Yorkshire Coast is now populated with descendants of the very same bastards who invaded it all those years ago and as such are not the push-over they once were.
I should reconsider his offer of a ride

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 09:25 AM

Mayhap. It is a long trip in an open boat and we are not of the stern stuff our ancestors were. We don't have to be.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 10:05 AM

Speak for yourself, I for one, live up the my name very nicely, Thank you

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 12:18 PM

what - raggytash? time you went to the barbers then - actually I didnt think it looked that unkempt when i saw you at Cleckthump!

or do you mean Nick - they will acatch up with you you know!!

My real name which I wil keep to myself means guardian of the heath
and my maiden name was norse for 'little pig' - no comment folks!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 04:14 PM

OK, Raggy, c'mon over to Denmark and we'll arrange for you to do the North Sea cruise.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 07:55 PM

I'm not a good sailor, I can't swim,....... so when did you have in mind. If I can get some sponsorship for my favourite charity, an inshore life boat in Runswick Bay, just North of Whitby ..........Re-invading England with a fellow Viking, and a Ameriacn Cousin has a certain appeal

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 03:34 AM

most good sailors cant swim raggy - must be due to send the pot round again - didnt sing the song in cleckythump - bring a pot to saddleworth!

I have just had visions of you dressed in viking costume Rags leaping through the water at whitby - is it true what they say about cold water?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 04:33 AM

what's all his about wimmin

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 04:34 AM

should have read 'this' ..... doh...

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 04:40 AM

Cold Water ..............Not necessarily , ..............as for your fantasies ................

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 08:47 AM

My lord Raggy - do I perceive a softening of heart towards me? I was thinking of going to see Morganna and asking if she hadst potion or spell that might soften your heart towards a poor misguided , love seeking rabbit but methinks perhaps I do not need it any more.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 09:24 AM

Here Sir Ragtash where's the 'spot the ball' piccies from Cleckie

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 10:44 AM

Bolleaux, They are sitting in the camera in my front room, when they should be in Leeds with my Wombat, who has access to a modern electric powered computer as opposed to this one powered by gerbils

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 12:13 PM

JESU ! Not being entirely sure who Morganna was I put the name in the Google search engine. If that is a mate of yours you can keep well clear of me Thank you. My tastes are certainly NOt that way inclined

My Liege MC Fat, I fear the Rabbit is keeping something VERY important from you

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 12:13 PM

bolleaux indeed!

Sir James - art thou willing to prove or not the theory of scotsman and kilts! Cant just have spot the ball once!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 12:42 PM

like déja vu!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 03:52 PM

I'm getting well worried about RaWR's search for potions. May I add to my previous health warning about the vessle with the pestle a similar alert for the flagon with the dragon. The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true (or possibly not).

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 02:33 AM

all i really wanted was raggy to stop picking on me!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 02:37 AM

I just tried the same Nick - she certainly wasnt what I had in mind as Athur Pendragon's half sister!! Big lady!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 05:46 AM

Lady?????????????????????

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 12:17 PM

well s/he was dresssed as one on my screen -

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 12 Jul 03 - 06:03 PM

RAGGY THOU ART STRANGELY SILENT!!

methinks perhaps wombat hath finally put a spell on you!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 12 Jul 03 - 07:32 PM

Yestereen, as I was proceeding with Lady Hillary to see Henry V at the free theatre in Central Park, I noted a sailboard mast and sail by the side of the road. As an inveterate trashpicker and sailor, I could not resist rescue the of both both.

What to do, however, while in the theatre? I could not leave it on the car on the street as it probably would have been stolen.

As I carried the 15' mast up to the ticket booth, I asked to check the mast. The person behind the counter said he could arrange it but what was it. After significant discussion with the security drones, they agreed to allow us to stow what had become a jousting lance but refused to take responsibility for it. Lady Hillary and I camouflaged it as part of the fence surrounding the theatre. It was still there when we came for it after the play. If any one of you is in a position to come to see the Public's presentation before it closes, come see it. Definitely worth it.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 02:46 PM

if you buy the air ticket my little american viking I will certainly fly over to see said production - now you are in possession of your very own jousting lance methinks perhaps thou couldst join the duel - thine seafaring nature however suggests that thou perhaps could second the old git and perchance take on MCFats second Raggytash oops forgot he has changed his name to Bulstrode.

If you keep looking in the skip you might find the rest of the craft and then could sail over to see us all

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 05:07 AM

refresh... refresh my lieges

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 01:03 PM

after all this time away and the amount of time you spend in taverners you should be refreshed by now!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 02:14 PM

we still need to arrange details i.e. time , place ,exact form of contest
I thought we'd done that before then got distracted by thongs and things

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 07:10 PM

A ha, He sneaks from his snake pit, thinking that my leige is forsaken by his trusty and noble second (as he has remained silent for some time so as not be become entangled with a Lady of easy virtue). His actions fill me with spleen and rancour that extinguishes all the seeds of good nature, compaasion and humanity. I am told he has added yellow scallops to his yellow chevrons on a yellow shield, well his fate is already told, he comes to his doom, My Lord MC Fat, my I quote from an old ballad

He has gotten in part the shape of a monkey
but more of a monkey who can deny
he's the tread of a goose, the legs of a swan
a dainty fine king indeed
he is not qualified for his wife
because of the cruel midwifes knife
yet BUGGERING BENTINCK does please to the life
a dainty fine KIng indeed.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man .............and his loyal and trust second

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 01:56 AM

goodness Rags - verily I am now confused - I dont remember a monkey unless you count the hairy ghoulie and he is definitely not rabbit fodder - I am pleased that the old rags is back with his insults - I have kind of missed them

I promise you that my liege McFat will be safe tonight - I am a guest at his castle and promise not to let down the drawbridge to any pretender to his throne I am to sleep in the high tower guarded by his trusty servant Wayne. I will not cast spell either nor add poison to his chalice - Hilsborough, Red House and Fagins wouldnt appreciate the drop in income or the value of their shares if he stopped drinking!!
To keep my safe and pure he has promised me an evening to look forward to - a light supper of strawberries and cream followed by a basket weaving class, some choral singing a night cap of liquid gold and then retiring. ( wish I could retire another 25 years to work aaaargh!)whats that I hear in the distance ' pieces of eight' ? could it be that an old sea dog might be intercepting our messages?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 05:17 AM

Ah basket weaving. Indeed a pursuit best done by girlies me thinks. Ah the visitation of my lady to Wayne's Castle could be used to 'firm up' the details of the duel Sir Rag.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 08:13 AM

I trust My Lord MC Fat that this Wayne person is known unto you and can be entrusted withe the Rabbit Lady, I should not like to think that any improper firmimg up of details were carried on between them.
I look forward to retuning my instrument to your accord

Yours as always in Chivalry, single bloodymindedness and plenty of underhanded deviousness,

Lord Bulstrode Wragtache of Colne

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 08:31 AM

Wayne is known to myself and my lady. He is a cunning creature who lodges at my castle rent free with his wench Chantelle-Leanne. He is furry creature who runs like a coward into his bolt hole when I come into his prescence. Lord Bulstrode I feel an outbreak of Burns 'Wee coorin timourous beastie Oh what a panic in thy breastie'......

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 12:16 PM

I have only seen wayne once but I have seen his exercise chamber.
My lord McFat has kindly donated various bits of equipment for said exercise chamber to 'firm up' Waynes muscles - I will not intercede betwixt Wayne and Chantelle -Leanne anyone who is as fit as Wayne is too much of a man - or perhaps a mouse - for me!! I think MCFAT thinks wayne might be a descendant of King Athur as he has placed the tube in the hole to replicate events with the sword in the stone!

There will be no 'improper firming' Lord Bulstrode - I intend to study my basket weaving class and be very good but I will take the saddleworth programme with me so that discussions about the duel may take place!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 04:05 PM

I await with bated (or should that be Bateman's) breath

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 05:08 PM

Aye, you need a lot of breath to sing Bateman.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Jul 03 - 02:05 PM

helloooo les long time no see. Mags guitar was just thrown on a chair at MCfats surrounded by all the other things he just throws on the chair - it looked all forlorn sitting there unwanted - unloved - I know just how it felt!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 Jul 03 - 03:44 PM

Unloved perhaps, But ......................

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 02:14 AM

is the BUT ..... because you really do want me my lord bulstrode? - no I dont mean in that way - you do have a one track mind!!

just returned from the Marquis de Fats castle - Wayne was noticeable by his absence - there was a decided lack of strawberries and cream due to MCFat being diverted from his quest to the supermarket by The Red House - he did provide a reasonable liquid supper though and then it was on to the basket weaving class before retiring. He is considering the conditions of the duel should a time and venue be sorted.

The rules of the modern joust say three attempts can be made by each entrant - looks like three rounds sires

A specialist round -shanty or burns depending on whether you are git or fat

An opponents round - singing in your opponents style

Free round - for you to pull out all the stops and sing the song of your choice

should either opponent fall or be fatally wounded during a song their second may continue the song


be warned though if in the free round you sing a song of the opponents genre and you win that round it will be the genre that will gain the points not the singer!


The rounds will be judged by clap-o-meter will little legs Padge being over all judge - his decision being final ( sorry Padge but you did offer)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 05:02 AM

Do we have a time for the encounter, I am busy buffing my Lance in readiness, mace is already been buffed, shield polished to a shine, sword, dagger, axe sharpened, mustard gas conatiner checked, rat traps set (don't forget the cheese)
Please inform my Noble Marquis de Fats I shall to in readiness for the battle at his behove.

Yours in Chivalry

Lord Bulstrode de Wragtache of Colne and Holme

Might as well extend the territory whilst people are distracted

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 06:30 AM

Lady Wombata Matilda de Wragtache has requested the prescence of several of you good shelves to attend our canvas mansion, which will be sited on the Field Of Green, Uppermill over the Weekend for a cheese and wine soiree, time to be announced when final, delicate, discussions have taken place between myself and the fair and radiant Rabbit

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 07:13 AM

Still think there should be a swimsuit round....The rules of engagement look fine Me Lady Wedandwhite Wabbit. Think there should be a round for my twusty second Sir Ragtash

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 09:53 AM

Swimsuit round to be held beside the pool at Warwick (or beside the lake in Moor & Coast tent this weekend, if conditions permit.)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 10:44 AM

Owing to my scabby skin condition (psoraiasis) my second Sir Ragtash de Busltrode and the Lady Wobat of Glocar will be doing my swimsuit round

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 10:52 AM

I must warn the ladies that I have .........erm.........certain Bulges when dressed in such attire.

Lord Bulstrode de Wragtache of Kirklees



well, did a bit of plundering at lunchtime

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 10:58 AM

Unfortunately I will not be able to attend the tourney at Saddleworth as my Good Lady and I have a prior engagement with the Lady de Brid and her sausages. May I wish the participants well.

Les - Pretender to the Throne of Hull.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 04:30 PM

see you on the field of battle at the appointed time!
when it is decided what field and what time


the rules of engagement sound fine!may the best man win! (this is beginning to sound like a wedding!)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 07:04 PM

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 07:08 PM

hmm - computer decided to take over then - or perhaps I was just being silent for once!!

Les the Pretender - will miss you and the good lady Mags and Lady Brid et al have a nice weekend - Happy birthday again Brid

My Lord Bulstrode of Kirklees and West Yorkshire ( sure you must have spent the evening in rape pillage and pluder) will look forward to the soiree have you the energy after all that cleaning though?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 08:02 PM

Rabbit, where do you think the Red Bull drink got it reputation from !
I have cheese, Olives, and some slim biscuits .............

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 03:47 AM

why anyone would want to pillage and plunder a little yellow flower is beyond me

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:00 AM

Yellow flower, what yellow flower ? I think therefore I am confused, could someone please elaborate on this yellow flower lark

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 07:13 AM

rape!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 09:22 AM

NEVER TOUCHED HIM !!! I WAS IN OUR HOUSE WATCHIN' BANANA SPLITS !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 11:56 AM

And now his time is near,
and so he faces the final curtain
regrets he's got a few
he knows he's dead
he know for certain
MC Fat will win the day
and may I say
not in a shy way
I be there cheering right at the end
he'll be dead Friday

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:51 PM

Why are shelves invited? Is it a new perversion?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 Jul 03 - 06:21 PM

A Draw !!    ..............the Judges were nobbled ....We Wuz robbed !!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 20 Jul 03 - 08:06 PM

I MISSED IT!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 21 Jul 03 - 05:57 AM

I don't remember any nobbling
I must have been asleep! pity ---- I like a good nobble!!!
if anyone was robbed it was us
sounds like sour grapes
does this call for a rematch?

ps loved the cheese!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 Jul 03 - 09:15 AM

My Leige,
I am greatly sorrowed to report that our plan to use poison came to nought, I managed to enscounced the varlet in my tent, at my table, he had the audacity t0 bring the Fair Rabbit with him, and another loose harlot of no little repute. I attempted to fed him the poisoned olives but he was with drink and failed to take enough to perform the agreeable task of bringing his end. He was I am informed mightily ill on the Sabbath but rinsed the poison out of his system with copious amounts of ale.
I see his nerve has returned and he challenges a rematch, well I for one will as always be your faithful and loyal retainer.

Lord Bulstrode de Ragtache of Kirklees

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 21 Jul 03 - 03:44 PM

actually my lord raggy methinks poisoned olives didst have some effect ( thanks for warning me in advance not to touch them) - or perhaps it was the half bottle of whisky- I noticed that during the evening he did keep dropping off to sleep with a big grin on his face - taking a folding chair to bed with him was another clue!!

He actually didnt wash it through with copious amounts of ale though he stuck to orange and solids on Sunday!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 21 Jul 03 - 03:45 PM

as for the 'other loose harlot of no little repute' be careful what you say about her as I understand she and the Lord Robin de Garside are having a liaison. another duel might be called for - shanties v ballads?

as for the original duel they have to have a rematch so I can see it!! However Little Legs Padget and I still have another 1335 kisses to go - the price a woman has to pay to get a draw result in a duel these days - so I may have to ask The Count of Stainsby , Kenneth the lover of little furry grass munchers to be judge

ASIDE
( my lord bulstrode - now that we are alone together perhaps we can organise more time alone - the time we spent hand in hand when the Lady Wombat was dealing with electrical appliances was such an exciting time it made my heart long for the time when we might pass the evening together at your castle!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 21 Jul 03 - 08:23 PM

the woman is nothing but a strumpet and a tittle tattle!
At least a folding chair is a faithful companion and doesn't go a wandering when her sire is engaged in matters of state

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 02:30 AM

old git

you didnt even come to seek me out to see the duel knowing that I was exceedingly interested in the outcome

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 04:03 AM

we searched high and low but apparently you were sporting and displaying yourself in some unseemly manner at a local Hiring Fair!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 05:56 AM

A draw A draw (to be said in best Lady Bracknell fashion). MC FAT WUZ ROBBED T-Shirts will be on sale at Whitby please place your orders now a rematch must be arrange. Sir Kenneth de Brampton would be available for judging as he will attending. I think Lady Jude Alfleda marked us down (Raggy we didn't nobble her soon enuf) I think the best way of bribing Ken will be via the William Hill route.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 06:49 AM

I have the slips already my Liege, consider it done

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 06:55 AM

They must be clearly £5 win my liege.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Wombat
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 10:35 AM

You dastardly wabbit, I though you was my friend! What's this about holding my Lord Bulstrode's hand? I don't remember dealing with electrical apparatus?

Any more of this sort of behaviour and Bulstrode Raggytash will be in the tower!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 10:50 AM

Thought you were into basket weaving now my lady (pfnarr pfnarr)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 11:23 AM

I fear Lady Wraggetache that the rabbit was with drink and has mistaken the events of the night with her other fantasies, she has one of me dressed as a Viking emerging from the waters at Whitby as you are aware. I too was lost with the mention of electrical appliances and as you know you and I were together ALL night

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Jul 03 - 11:06 PM

have you been grassing me up lord rags - it was supposed to be an aside just to you!!!! What were you doing letting your good lady read it?

You werent together all night cos I was with the Lady W for at least an hour as we watched the dawn appear over the camp

Wombat dont you remember the electrical appliance attached to the hairy ghoolie?

If he goes to the Tower does that mean we can be together ( MCFAT reckons I'm a dyke)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 23 Jul 03 - 09:30 AM

is "grassing me up" some kind of rural perversion
does it take place in a dyke?
and what has Dawn got to do with it?

the hairy ghoolie that I saw a picture of did not have an electrical appliance attached to it!!

I'm confused!   but then that's a normal state of affairs these days!!!! (oldtimers disease!)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Wombat
Date: 23 Jul 03 - 09:44 AM

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Jul 03 - 09:47 AM

That's my Fair Lady Matilda Wombat, informative as ever

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Wombat
Date: 23 Jul 03 - 09:56 AM

Oops, where did my message go!?!?

What I meant to say was:-

Lady Wrabbite - did it really take us an hour to cross the field of green and back, I think not, even though we did see the dawn.

I understnd what you mean about the electrical appliance know, its the computer. So what were you doing hold Lord Wraggy's hand? Did he know you were holding his hand? To the tower with you both, but separate ones obviously. Carry on like this my lady and there will have to be another duel!!!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Jul 03 - 10:11 AM

Have a care my Good Lady Matilda Wombat, the Rabbit can sing a bit whereas you my good lady ..................sad to say ...........sound like a cat being dragged backwards through a mangle ........ish

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 23 Jul 03 - 07:14 PM

After that Wombat you'll have to challenge him to a duo!
and how does he know what a cat sounds like being dragged backwards through a mangle ....ish or otherwise.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 07:54 AM

whts all this about Mangles ? didn't they have ahit with a song called 'Eternal Flame'

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 08:31 AM

My Good Lady Matilda Wombat de Wraggetache and I have been known to DUO (as you put it Old Git) and even then she sounds like a Banshee caught in a combined harvester ............just thought I'd share that with you

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 09:50 AM

Not mangles, Muggles.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 10:10 AM

Trust someone from over the pond to say that .............



Eh Up Lads, what's he on about



Sorry, for our American cousin I will provide a translation

"Whatever does the chap mean"

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 10:11 AM

No Buggles did 'Video killed the Radio Star' some connection with Saddleworth there me thinks.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 11:05 AM

James, Have you been on the holy water again?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 11:11 AM

I'm a shober as Oliver Reed my leige

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 12:42 PM

Glad to see you are all enjoying yourselves!!

EBarnacle - I have missed you - bit like I missed the duel - are you well Is your good lady well? have you found the rest of the boat in any other skip yet?

whombhat - yes after The Lady Jude de Aefleda left with My lord Old Git we were about an hour discussing the merits of basket weaving classes and wandering over to the shower block and back. I seem to remember
being askked to dine chez vous - promise I wont take Lord Rags off to the tower

Anyway, It was your sire who had my hand - he dropped to one knee and despite wishful thinking that he might be prospective husband nuber 5 or 6 (I am losing track) he simply looked into my eyes - kised my hand and asked for some more cheese!!!!! ( I wondered why he wasnt eating the olives - now I know) I seem to remember my Lord Rags the promise of some port - did I miss it?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 24 Jul 03 - 01:46 PM

typical of the woman!
any port in a storm (or any other weather)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 25 Jul 03 - 12:46 AM

As it says on the little plaque on the steering station: When leaving port, make sure the red wine gets left below.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 25 Jul 03 - 08:22 AM

well what a waste - I think it would be better if it were drunk than leaving it below - new sign required when leaving port make the red wine has been drunk!!

what do you mean old git - any port in a storm - you know me I only have to look at boats and crashing waves and I am seasick - not a chance of me venturing near one in a storm

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 25 Jul 03 - 09:39 AM

Me thinks, The lady doth protest too much

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 25 Jul 03 - 09:43 AM

so doth me!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 25 Jul 03 - 12:02 PM

rollocks!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 11:30 AM

just seen my lord MCFat at Warrick - I am a lady destroyed by his wandering arms and kisses. He hath another!!!! The fair Angela I believe she is called and he professed his love to her in front of me - how can he fight a duel over me whilst being in love with Angela and Big Bird?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:22 PM

It's clearly a matter on defending your honour, rather than rationality.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 06:40 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 09:09 AM

you are fresh enough MCFAT!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 04:28 AM

fresh moi !!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:10 AM

oui!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 07:57 AM

Oui'd, Didn't know he was incontinent, didn't even know he'd left the country

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 08:18 AM

Eeh nay Sir Raggy anyway why wern't thou at Warwick my leige and part of the bendy baloon rapper side ? and is you going to Beverley on sunday ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 09:50 AM

My Liege, I was scouring the North Yorkshire Moors, they don't like being scoured they say it hurts but there you go, in addition to this my Lady has an aversion to Warkwick as she had serious damage caused to her several years ago by a drunken dancer who threw her and the dance floor but let go when she tumbled she broke her arm. Good thing that the person we were staying with was a consultant surgeon and he called in his friend the consultanat orthropaedic surgeon to tend to The Wombat. Pandemonium reigned in A & E.

Howver I disgress, On the Sunday on Whitby Folk Week for the past 2 years we have decamped to Glaisdale on the train for an afternoon session. The pub has altered, so I went in search of a larger establishment, the search however was in vain, so on the Sunday (17th) at approx 12.30 several of us will catch a train to Glaisdale, sing on the train there, much to the bemusement of the conductor who normally has an empty train, toddle up the hill to the pub, sing for about 3 hours and catch the train back to Whitby, again bemusing the conductor and the guard who he has brought along for potection from these mad singists

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 10:18 AM

Perhaps we can do the bendy thing as well !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 12:02 PM

That sounds fun, O Raggy one (as does the bendy thing,, Mr Phat).

Can I come?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 12:08 PM

It is open to everyone Noreen including your good self, it is the one session of the week when we can guarantee that the assembled company is attentive to the singer/player and gives good order, that is not be say that a few ribald comments together with some innuendo do not fly about.
Basically we get away from the weekend tourists for a day, and most have gone home by Sunday teatime

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Bassic
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 01:38 PM

"Basically we get away from the weekend tourists for a day......". Just be careful who you are calling a weekend tourist!! :-)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 02:45 PM

wabbits have childers in tow so will be clogging and fings

I will fink of you all - wish you'd do the bendy thing when I was around to see it though

Aside in the hope the audience doesnt notice

MCPHAT hast thou forgotten our plans to renew our wedding vows?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 07:09 PM

That's strange the Rabbit does not normally like bendy things

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 02:07 AM

I am very into basket weaving thankyou!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 02:08 AM

that should have said - really into but at 7.00 am you cant expect English as well!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 11:56 AM

My Lord Raggy - since the castle bulstrode is not paying homage to Lord MCfat this weekend are yourself and the Lady W attending the do at Beverley?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 12:55 PM

A nasty four letter word may get in the way, if it doesn't we may go to the fair sea port of Whitby and attend said session on the way home on Sunday



The word is

W


O


R


K

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 03:41 PM

I've just got this mental picture of wabbit doing a spot of three rod waling. Quick nurse, the screens, it's happening again.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 04:49 AM

Les me duck will you be my reserve second if Lord Raggytash de Bulstrode doesn't make an appearance

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 05:13 AM

whats three rod waling?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,little legs
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 06:15 AM

talking of competitions, i'll be at Saltburn next weekend as a warm up for Whitby
any one interested in winning £100 and a trophy for trad singing?
Con club at NOON 8/9/10th Aug, Saltburn

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 09:27 AM

I'd love to but think I might be pushing it to be away that weekend as well as whitby week

is the computer not poorly any more little legs?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 01:57 PM

Jim - I will of course lend you my support, but I'd advise you to give it a bit of a rinse out first.

Wabbit - it's a term used in basketry - you didn't know that I was an expert basketperson did you? It's stronger than straight randing and more decorative. If you want a proper basket you know where to come.

Les

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 03:33 AM

can I have a private lesson please les?
is it not three rod walling? Now theres an interesting twist - I think I need to go to more basket weaving lessons!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 11:04 AM

by the way - welcome back from France old git

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 12:02 PM

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Aelfleda
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 12:06 PM

Lady J de'Aelfleda begs to differ regarding the 'marking down' allegation by MC Fat.
The duel was judged fairly by little legs et moi and with the our usual aplomb.
I think perhaps scoring cards in front of an unbiased (!) audience during folk week. Methinks the Reverend Kenneth may be ever so slightly biased towards those who share the search for the Scoop 6!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 04:53 PM

it eez good to be back
Lady J you are absolutely right
the judges were being nobbled from one side (hmmmm!)
if only i'd sung "Joe Peel"!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Aelfleda
Date: 03 Aug 03 - 03:48 PM

Hi Old Git
Est-ce-que vous avez une bonne vacance??

Si vous avez chante Joe Peel, ma biere sera tres dilute(!)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,little legs
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 03:42 AM

I along with Lady Aelfleda deny any wrong doing, connivery, or general mucking up of Saddleworth duel ~ anyway whats wrong with 5.25 out of 5!
can't stop Work

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 04:45 AM

Mai what's all this Froggy stuff. Lady Aefleda how could impune your impartiality !!!! Let's see how round two progresses a la Whitby. By the way Sooty & Sweep were great in the swimsuit round.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 04:55 AM

You should have seen the tactics MCFAT resorted to at Beverley against the DeanMeister! It was fixed - chocolate was flying everywhere

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 10:34 AM

there should be photos on the mudcat soon

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:27 AM

the first batch are on - Lady Wombat you are making a star appearance

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:57 AM

Where? How do I find them ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 04:40 AM

.....no photo's for security reasons, social security reasons.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 05:18 AM

Would somebody like to give some sort of annotations to the Beverley pictures.

I know that a friend of ours in a secure retirement home in Chingford, would like to see the persons involved in this business. Well, 'arrold's (Dirty Old Git) actual words were more like "I reckons that I oughta look up these 'ere northern bleeders and see if that bint would be worf 'avin a bundle over". He hasn't been online lately because he had his hand in a cast after a lady named Elizabeth flexed certain muscles while it was in an intimate place. There is also a rumour that the home's PC has been removed by the police as the fraud squad are investigating the matron's accounts and the vice squad have also shown an interest in it. The local anglican diocese have also requested to see some compromising photos of their local vicar which might be stored on it.

Essex Girl and I have wondered if we ought to try and bring him up to Whitby with us, as he's been rather morose since his old friend and ex-boss, Reggie Kray, died.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 05:46 AM

so where are the photos?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:09 AM

Where photos always are (you Old Git)on the cat - go to the "Quick Links" dropdown box right at the top of the page, select "Member's Photos & Info" and click "Go", then "Photos", then "Events", Then you should should see a "Singaround in Beverley" heading. Here's a link.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:13 AM

See Beverley thread for a list of who's who

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:27 AM

hope you found them ok and if you need any more info MCFAT will oblige

- so I am told!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:52 AM

I an be very very obliging just ask ........!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 07:40 AM

No thanks, I'd rather be obliged by Wabbit or Noreen.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 10:48 AM

talking of Noreen I am really upset that she didnt wear that number for the duel that she has on on the members photos - she would certainly have been giving Big Bird a run for her money in that!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 01:35 PM

What, the hill-walking clobber, Wabbit? :0)
I'll have to look the red shiny top out... for the next occasion?

Annotations are in this post on the Beverley Festival thread.
(Would be a good idea to ask Pene Azul to put titles on them, for ease of future reference)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 04:08 AM

theres some more photos on there - how do I ask Noreen?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 04:30 AM

MCFAT cant find your other thread - so cant help on recycling

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: MC Fat
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:13 AM

Just refreshed it.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 07:24 AM

More good photos- note the preponderance of men in shorts (or tea towels in Deanie's case)- aaaargh!

I like the pic of Maggie reaching eagerly for a pint, with three hands???

Wabbit, PM Pene Azul who looks after us and the pictures, with accurate details for labelling.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 09:28 AM

better get MCFAT to do that then accuracy is not my forte ( havent learnt to do accents above e's)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 12:13 PM

try holding down ALT   type in 130 and let go!
éééé

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:19 PM

Je suis un vrai mec!
Je suis complètement enivré!
Mais je combattrai jusqu'à la mort pour ma petite lapine rouge et blanche!
Les chansons d'un poète écossais contre les chants de marins.....pas de concours!!!
A Whitby je serai le conquérant!

Got the hang of it now Sue?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:08 PM

Qu'est-ce qui ce passe ici maintenant? La culture française au chat de boue?
Ou est-ce que ce serait du fromage français? Camembert peut-être?

Quel fromage...

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 07 Aug 03 - 03:04 PM

Fromage du lait de chatte.....
Better stop before I get too vulgar.....
You've obviously mastered the accents Noreen

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 04:26 AM

eh - or should that be e as alt 130 does not work!!! I have tried - I know I am verying trying but alt 130 defintiely does not work - look e e e e all I get is this message that say - capture picture

Je n'aime pas Camembert or should that read je n'aime pas du/ de la Camembert - its a long time since I had to think frog - croak croak

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 04:32 AM

e - when I asked for help it said the same as you Geoff so I guess é is not possible for me - I had to do this one by copying it from the character map - tres diasappointed mes amies

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,McFAT
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 05:34 AM

Sacre beaujolais et bon appetite. Vous avez frape la nail sur la tete.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 06:09 AM

make sure you hold it down (as the actress said to...)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 04:37 AM

I have!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 04:40 AM

nothing - all I get now is a strange noise!

wouldst any lord save me fromst my turmoil - not having an accent is a terrible thing - I might be transported back in time to become a radio announcer for the BBC if I cannot retrieve my accent

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 05:54 AM

when you sign do you have an accent?
this is a serious philosophical question

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 10:37 AM

yes

signing is like any other language it has a regional accent so some signs in Huddersfield are colloquial - causes interest at school when the kids who have Batley/Bradford signs dont know what I am talking about! I learnt to sign in Liverpool initially and then in Calderdale - so i guess my signing accent is hybrid of Liverpool and Yorkshire - bit like my speaking voice is a mixture of accents

serious bit over!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Aug 03 - 10:07 PM

Wabbit, do you have an Alt Gr key to the right of your space bar? If so, hold it down while pressing e to get é.

Proper way to do this and other accents is using HTML commands which I'll list for you if interested.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 04:27 AM

yes I do and I have tried it and no it doesnt work

I shall just have to remain accent less

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:06 AM

We've only just got home, so we haven't had a chance to get in touch with Harrold (Dirty old Git) yet. It's always a bit difficult to get through to his retirement home as two of the ladies (Bertha and Elizabeth) are running a sort of chatline (you've probably received spam about "Nubile young teenagers would like to discuss sex problems") and matron is usually seeking spiritual advice from the new young vicar.

We might be popping over the river tonight, so we'll see if we can have a word with him. If he does contact you though, do be careful not to fall for his line about "going fifty-fifty with you if you'll lend him the cash to hire a bulldozer to dig up the gold from the Brinks-Matt robbery". I'm sure that you'd find him delightful company - he could have had any girl from Stepney to East Ham in the days when he worked for his old bosses Ronnie and Reggie. He's still got a good head of hair and his own teeth (although he managed to end up with Bertha's recently when the were disturbed during an intimate session).

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:39 AM

Let's go to your place and see what comes up, said the Bishop to the Duchess.

I was online on Sunday to look up something regarding Sebbe Als and noted that this thread is also referenced. Hmm, is someone out there actually listening?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Red and White Rabbit
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 05:43 AM

Hi Ebarnacle - you missed a great festival

it would have been great to see you - I suggest you try to arrange a business trip over here for next years festival!!

I missed the duel again though

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:14 AM

typical of the wabbit
stirs em up and then clears off to leave them to it...only returning to pick up the bruised and battered "victor"

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:21 AM

when I saw MCFAT he wasnt bruised and battered he was creating a blockage with his supporters by the bridge which me and childers and husband No 2 had difficulty avoiding - he was very cheery I think - or perhaps drunk - hard to tell really

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:06 PM

surprised he had a blockage....thought he would have been flushed with success!!!!
still i suppose husband number 2 had no problems moving them on with a cheery smile and witty repartee!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:27 PM

Old Git, you sound like you need a decent second

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Alio
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 04:58 AM

You're not intending having another duel in Hull, are you? Or would that be too territorial for Old Git? At least the other Geoff will be there to support!

Ali

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 05:03 AM

no rematch in Hull - too specialised!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 05:29 AM

no rematch in hull ...it might be too partisan in my favour....don't think Mcfat will be there anyway....might sing my Burns shanties though....

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM

Thought someone was going to put piccys on

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 12:31 PM

the film probably melted in the heat of the Black Horse!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 01:20 PM

These new fangled cameras have chips and chips should be hot, ergo shouldn't be a problem

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 03:11 PM

It might be the salt and vinegar that did for them then!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,R&WR
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 08:16 AM

well it wasnt me cos I wasnt there - in fact I have lost my camera with the Whitby photos otherwise I would download them and post them here

guess I will just have to remember what we were doing instead

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 08:53 AM

David Byrant had some photographs, he has (I believe) more than a passng aquaintance with Dirty Old Git and therefore probably has the latest state of the art, super duper, all singing, all dancing camera borrowed on his behalf

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 06:20 AM

maybe the original owner has "borrowed" it back

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 01:53 PM

I didnt know the dirty old git was all singing and all dancing - old git he could give you a run for your money!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 06:22 PM

i use rhubarb for that

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Sep 03 - 02:53 AM

I thought it was prunes!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 06 Sep 03 - 06:47 AM

no I'd never look at anything shrivelled and wrinkly!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 10:50 AM

and I thought you loved me!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:50 AM

No mirrors in your house then, Old Git

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:55 AM

OY ! Dirty Old Git, tell that mate of your's Dave Bryant that he said he would piccys on the web, remind him we don't forgive broken promises up here eivver, broken promises can lead to ovver broken bits .............if you get my drift

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 05:21 AM

Sorry about the delay - I got back from Whitby to find two and a half weeks of backlog to sort out at work and this is the busiest time of year for me - getting ready to for student enrolments. We were also booked for Walton FF last weekend and are running one of our famous barbecues this coming weekend. I haven't even looked at the piccies yet, but I will try and fit it in ASAP.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 03:33 PM

hope they show my good side!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 01:39 AM

I thought you kept that well covered!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 05:08 AM

I've downloaded the piccies of the duel - there are 12. I haven't got the time to edit them now - ie adjust colour/light balance, crop & resize them etc.

If someone wished to PM me their e-mail address, I'll send them as they are. The piccies are nearly 1/2 mb each, so as our e-mail server will only handle 2mb of attachments a time, they'll have to be sent in 3 sections.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 07:05 AM

OK Raggy - I've sent them. I'm sorry that there's only a couple of pics of "Old Git", but there's quite a few which show Noreen's boobs to make up for that.

There were some very interesting pictures that "Dirty Old Git" had left on the film - I'm sure that it couldn't have really been a whole three litre beer bottle that Big Bertha had up her was playing with, and the one of Loose Liz with the goat must have been faked . . . . .

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Hologram of MC Fat
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 09:48 AM

I'm back !!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 10:23 AM

Do you have an H on your forehead ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 10:39 AM

Dave log on to http://freeserve.com/NickScaife then click on Jim's demise.

This will give you the answer you seek as to the "H"

Sorry, forgotten how to do blue clickys

http://mysite.freeserve.com/NIckScaife
Well that didn't work either

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 10:41 AM

http://mysite.freeserve.com/NickScaife

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 10:42 AM

Bugger Me ............ NO, NO don't take that literally

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Holgram of MC Fat
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 10:49 AM

Wouldn't bugger my second !!!!! Where's all the piccies of my victory !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 01:59 PM

MCFAT Thats not what you said when you saw him dressed in helmet and shield ..............
oops sorry I forget you said to keep that secret!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 06:34 AM

just to go back about 9 postings on this thread R&WR..I only uncover my best side so that you can kiss it

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,R&WR
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 02:22 PM

If you think I am kissing that - think again!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 02:23 PM

I see you are taking a long time to think about it old git

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:07 PM

is this R&WR in cognito (or somewhere in Italy)
if so.....it's never bothered you before!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:08 PM

where are the photos DB?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 08:16 PM

posting the 300rd th thread is getting tedious

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 03:43 AM

Well Sir Raggy de Colne and Kirklees if thou art bored it is perhaps time that thou sallied forth on a campaign of rape pillage and plunder
in the company of your noble leige Sir MCFat de Steelworks. He is recruiting an army to sally forth and invade a pub - could be an interesting event since my real husband and I will be attending - in fact the conversations between my real husband and MCfat are almost as frequent as the conversations between myself and said noble lord - or should that be nobbing lord since he is at Bromyard this weekend singing nobbing songs - what constitutes one of those by the way?

Anyway if you want to know more about this event PM me and I will send you the details

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Les from Hull
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 02:45 PM

As you very well know, all songs fall into two categories, nobbibg songs and non-nobbing songs. In the nobbing songs there's always nobbing going on, however well disguised - ball of yarn, game of all fours, cuckoo's nest etc.

Although, a couple of years or so I did preent a learned paper designed to advance my claim for a sub-category of non-nobbing songs - songs of unrequited nobbing.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 03:05 AM

yes but is nobbing a technical cbasket weaving term?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 06:44 AM

Great news, Nobbing Machines are available for purchase on the web follow this linkhttp://www.nordicmarine.net/

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 06:59 AM

Les,
For the true afficionado I have managed to locate a rare photgraph of nobbing actually taking place

http://Zamboanga.net/ZCIndustries.htm

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 11:06 AM

Old Git - I have sent 12 piccies to your opponent's second (mind you Raggytash is a bit big to be a second perhaps he's nearer half a minute). If you wish a set - please PM me an e-mail address. I'll try to make sure that I exclude the disgusting pictures that your near namesake took of his lady female friends Bertha and Liz - especially the ones with the goat and pony at the City Farm outing.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Beardy
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 11:23 AM

Raggy

Please confirm definition of Nobbling as the same as Nobbing.

Stewart

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 12:02 PM

Probably same as nobbing, but with a smaller nob. I'll look it up later

Mr Byrant, may I suggest you submit said piccys to the Mudcat so all the protanganists and supporters can admire them, I believe there are separate sites that may be interested int eh other photographs you possess.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 12:28 PM

Raggy - I was hoping that you might decide which ones merited being sent off to Pene.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 03:31 PM

thats nobbling Raggy - do you wantto borrow my glasses

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 05:20 PM

Yes, but why would anyone wish to seam a sardine?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 06:48 PM

Thats the troble with the new world, so little experience, don't knock till you've tried it

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 Sep 03 - 01:58 AM

I would suggest all of them, you never know they might sell the dodgy ones to make some cash for mudcat

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Sep 03 - 02:25 AM

there are dodgy ones? mmm tell me more!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 Sep 03 - 03:57 AM

Scroll down and all will be revealed about Big Bertha etc

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Sep 03 - 09:56 AM

I hope not all is revealed - it would definitely turn your beer sour Sue. After the vice squad looked at the piccies, half of the investigating officers asked for transfers to traffic division and the other half are still on sick leave (full pay of course) !

Raggy - hasn't anyone taught you the difference between up and down ?
Anyway if you wish to select suitable pics and send them to Pene with suitable captions, it would save me a job.

BTW - thanks for nagging me about the pics, because I took the memory card out of the camera and therefore didn't loose all my holiday snaps when some low-life ******* pinched my camera from home on Thursday evening. Mind you, if Dirty Old Git's photos were still in it, all I'd have to do is to look for someone puking in the gutter !

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 Sep 03 - 10:21 AM

It's down if you access the thread using the little "d" symbol !

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 01:43 AM

confused

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 04:01 AM

No change there then

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 04:49 AM

Ah - I see where you're coming from Raggy - but then I probably wouldn't if you're approaching things arse about face.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 05:26 AM

you took the words out of my mouth , Raggy! (re R&RW)
thanks for the photos Dave! (some interesting ones of Noreen's chest.....pity those singers got in the way!!!)
pity none of them showed my best side!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 06:31 AM

Perhaps you weren't displaying aforesaid elevation OG - although someone (I think it was McFat) told me that you usually speak out of it.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 09:22 AM

Photographs duly emailed to Jeff at Mudcat with appropriate captions, like "We are the Champions" "The Sweet taste of Victory" etc "Oh look at the sad loser" etc. So watch for them being given pride of place

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 03:51 PM

i didn't realise my eyes were so bloodshot
must have been drinking!!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 04:17 PM

Bloodshot from all that weeping and bemoaning your sorry defeat, more likely. I think our mascot Sooty consumed more beverage than your entire entourage

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 04:44 PM

just seen the photos posted
the captions...like the voting audience...are of course partisan....but it is what we have come to expect.........i would have liked to have some of whatever Sooty was drinking!!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 06:01 PM

my seconds and thirds were of course Sir Jim Hancock of Guestlist and Sir Paul Gnomad of Leeds and Whitby

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 07:25 PM

MC Fat & myself will remain as chivalrous as ever, the lack of information regarding your secondly is entirely my responsibility, .......................
.............I don't normally mix with that class.


History is always written by the victors, so if and when you feel able to present a real challange !!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 01:59 AM

this is more like it - threats and violence I understand

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 04:39 AM

You can find the piccies here.
You had to drink your beer fast in that hot bar - it would have evaporated if you hadn't.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 19 Sep 03 - 02:32 PM

I wish I had been there - it looks like you had fun!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 19 Sep 03 - 07:08 PM

I must admit that in spite of everything I really enjoyed it!
must be getting masochistic in my old age!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: gnomad
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 01:59 PM

It WAS hot wasn't it, and good, daft, fun?

I must admit to enjoying my new title, from two places, no less.

Warning to potential witnesses to round 3; beware, you can end up with a closer view than you were expecting, I know I did.

BTW, what news of round 3??

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 05:16 AM

A closer view of what ? - Noreen's cleavage ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: gnomad
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 06:18 AM

DB- Such innocence, I expected a closer view of that! ;-)>

I meant that I didn't reckon with becoming a party to the hostilities.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 01:21 PM

Gnomad what new title are you enjoying, I heard you refered to as several things on the day, none of which where ones I would like associated with myself. The ones that refered to your parentage were among the more pleasant.

As to the next chapter in the sorry tale of your teams continual pitious attempts to defeat my noble Lord MC Fat must await his consideration, needless to say his trusty second myself Lord Bulstrode de Wraggetache and his loyal third Sir Kennethe Le Johnston of Ladbrokes will be in attendance to profer our continued support for the gallant cause against low living, sinful, nauseous, scumbags, Roll on the day, cometh the man, well at least we do.

Rabbit, is that enough spleen and venom for you, What you doing Saturday night and I'm not talking Basket Weaving if you get my droft

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 03:28 PM

not like you to be so reticent raggy....why don't you just say what you feel!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 03:32 PM

rabbit...if you do get his droft be careful with it...you don't know where it's been

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 08:01 PM

As fate has conspired against my Noble Lord MC Fat to be able to acknowledge this slight on his fine character, I feel duty bound to respond on his behalf.
My noble Lord, who at Whitby, bestowed his notice on the pathetic operations of the insignificant insects whose underrated performances and attentions to their own concerns, in the midst of the various distractions of glorious sight and sound that surrounded them (MC Fat and his gallant crew)will at some future time, demean himself to address their obnoxious whim.
In the interim it may be in their insufferable, odious, exerable, loathesome, abominable self interests to maintain a silence.

I have my steel at the ready


Bloody hell, Rabbit how much encouragement do you want

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 10:32 AM

Come on Rabbit, you've not gone all coy on me have you?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 10:35 AM

Oh sod it ..............HEY WOMBAT, YOU BUSY?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:41 AM

Fine sort of second you are Raggy - first you attempt to seduce the object of your principal's desires (or at least carnal lust) and when you don't get an immediate reply, spurn her for another. Don't go trying that on a maiden female from the county of Essex unless your armour includes a pretty impregnable cod-piece.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:46 AM

Me .........with an Essex girl ........I always found white stilettoes and black stockings an absolute turn off

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:47 AM

An as for Rabbit, she even offered it to your mate Dirty Old Git, bangs like a shit house door in a gale that one

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 01:57 PM

I dont!!!!! and I didnt and bloody hell Raggy some of us have to work for a living and dont get on line that often besides as chief secretary to my Lord MCfat doing his work has also taken up the time - sorry my lord Raggy that I wasnt at your disposal - bin man comes Monday you could have asked him - what would you like me to do on Saturday - massage your war weary body - accompany you on a mission of State - warm you bad be the buxom wench for you at some fancy dress party?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: gnomad
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 03:13 PM

Why Reverend Raggytat, I hardly recognised you until you started to proposition the fair Rabbit. This animal fixation worries me slightly, first Wombat, then Wabbit, what next - Werewolf?

I also see you've been at the thesaurus again, the Bishop isn't going to like it.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 06:24 PM

I warned you to watch out for his droft,rabbit1

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:17 PM

Take care Susan, I feel to southern "gentleman" is trying to soften you to his own cause, take great notice of his wily ways, he will attempt to assuage your better judgement and before you know it the knickers will be down round the ankles faster than his Ford Capri down the M1 ..............only a tad sooner

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 05:15 AM

My own personal Essex Girl appears in several of the pictures wearing a green tee-shirt - no sign of "white stilettoes and black stockings". I think the slightly nervous look that she is displaying at times is occasioned by the "Northern Types" wearing strange apparell. Mind you, I suppose you have to dress up like that when you live in a uncivilised parts of the country where the maps still bear the warnings "Here be Dragons".

Down south in the area where my lady (and Dirty Old Git) hail from, people don't bother about duels - one of them is found in a shallow grave on Dagenham marshes or alternatively dropped into the channel off Southend in a weighted net.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 06:10 AM

It's amazing how many people have accidents falling off the cliffs at Whitby, tragic it is. Amazing how many of them are (sorry were)known to my noble Lord MC Fat sides which a good duel now and again is fun and excites the ladies. I've also been surprised by the correlation between the promixity of a duel and the looseness of knicker elastic

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 06:34 AM

Oh Raggy - I didn't realised that it affected you like that.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 07:14 AM

Don't wear them

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 02:00 AM

proove it!!!

are you going to tell me what you want me for on Saturday Rags?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 03:26 AM

he wants to borrow yours!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 12:37 PM

I have at long last put aside enough time to catch up on this drivel, and i am shocked, nay aghast! at my name being taken in vain on so many occasions.

Don't you chaps know that all parts of my anatomy are copyright, and those photographs are only available on a pay-per-view basis?? First 10seconds (ie normal viewing) is free, but after that it's charged per second- so Mr Bryant, you have run up quite a bill!

See me later.

(It was hot in that pub!!)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 12:45 PM

If I'm a naughty boy do I have to go to your room

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 01:29 PM

noreen - do you have 'peak rate' too?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 01:41 PM

:0)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 07:36 PM

I might regret this, but what is a "peak rate"

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 07:45 PM

Mr Tash, if you have to ask, then.....

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 08:59 PM

something to do with the cost of looking at mountains (or is that peek rate?)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 02:44 AM

I thought it was how fast the mountains moved!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 02:46 AM

forgot to mention MCFat says Hi and Raggy thank you for standing in for him in these dark times

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 05:39 AM

Noreen - I did not publish the photos - I merely sent them to Raggy who performed the deed himself - so send send the bill to him or Pene. Anyway, methinks the lady dost protest too much - I didn't hear you wingeing about the piccies of you accepting a bribe in the previous leg of the duel. Surely you subscribe to the principle that all publicity is good publicity - just think of all the extra admirers you might attract. Essex Girl is as visible in most of the photos (OK she wasn't showing any cleaveage at the time, but she often does) and she hasn't complained.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 05:47 AM

Dave, it wasn't the publication of the pictures I was referring to, but the length of time you spent looking at them...

:0)

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 06:15 AM

Thats a first, normally you say it's over with too quickly

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 06:18 AM

OOoooOOO... get back in the knife drawer, Mr Sharp!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 27 Sep 03 - 06:33 AM

Climb every mountain!!
thought that might be pertinent to this discussion
also fits in well with an incident in McFat's past
what dark times? has there been an eclipse in huddersfield?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 27 Sep 03 - 10:39 AM

Noreem - how do you know how long I spent looking at the photos ? - or wasn't it the photos you were referring to ? I am a geat believer in the old adage that ladies who wear low-cut tops should be looked down upon !

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 02:26 AM

Noreen - I just want to say thank you - at least whilst they are having a go at you they are leaving me alone

old git - we had a cave in here two babies dead - sniff sniff

and it was MCFAt who was living in dark times - keep up - he also is mourning the passing of a kinsman - Wayne junior met a tragic end - cause unknown - on returning from a tavern Sir Fat found dead upon the floor. I suspect it was the work of you old git but have no proof - anyway Wayne has now been replaced by the noble squire Ryan Liam who is helping MCFAT assess his castles defences.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 01:08 PM

What cave in?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 01:36 PM

burrow caved in!or should that be Warren? No not Beattie.....

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 05:45 PM

she's obviously cracking up!
as I don't have the foggiest idea who Wayne junior was I don't see how I can be accused of being responsible for his demise
So is Mcfat back from Cognito now?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 06:06 AM

I think Rabbit needs some bucking-up !

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 01:27 PM

Cave canem!

History is generally written by the survivors' biographers, whether or not they are the official winners.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 01:56 PM

EBaracle, if you go to members photo's, then events, about the fourth one down is piccys of the duel, with various comments from my good self which acknowledge that history is writ by the victors I have also acknowledged the same on a earlier thread. Hope you enjoy the pictures!, especially Noreens cleavage !!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Oct 03 - 02:30 AM

I cracked up a long time ago

Wayne Junior was the house guest of MCFAT no he's not back yet

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 05:26 AM

Just to let the wastrels know that my Lord MC Fat has not forgotten the slights and slurs cast on his noble personage by this low life scum bags and will not forgive easily the ills they have caused to effect him. Come the next duel he will take cruel delight in savaging all those foolhardy enough to stand quaking before him, as always he will rejoice in the loyal and trusty company of Lord Bulstrode de Wraggetache of Colne and Lord Kenneth de Johnston of Ladbrokes. Cometh the day cometh the Man.


Take heed of the final sentence Rabbit

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 01:47 PM

which man's coming Raggy?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 04 Oct 03 - 04:05 PM

there she goes again..lowering the tone!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 03:54 AM

he told me to take heed so I did!!

besides my lord McFat likes playing in drop D and now is practising with double drop D - therefore he insists that I lower the tone!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 06:35 AM

Is there any more news of the hard drive with McFat's hologram on it ?
It might have been reformatted by now in which case there isn't likely to be another leg to the duel.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 01:28 PM

latest news of the hologram is that he should be on line tomorrow
someone has been installing computers today so beware he wil be catching up with someone somewhere soon

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 04:16 AM

Rabbit - does that mean that when McFat's accompanying your songs, you now have to drop them ?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 07:56 AM

drops 'em for certain, half of toy town know that, put's Florence to shame that one does Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing Time for bed said Zebadee

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,Hologram of MC Fat
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 09:24 AM

I'm back ah ha !! Take that you varmits. When I have a chance to read through the scurrolous replies, I shall reply !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 01:32 PM

MCFAT/ old git you could at least have defended my honour here - im az I look down on in t' valley is casting nastutiums on my good name again!!

aside - Raggy if you really want me you have to stop this pretence of not caring!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 02:58 PM

Shush

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 07:19 AM

J'airetourne. Or in the wurds of the new Governor of California 'I'm Back' thanks for all the placitudes and not very nice things what you've said. I am deeply hurt and shall return into my rather large shell boo hoo

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 07:44 AM

Fear not my Liege, your trusty knight to ready to stand fast against thes lowly insignificant infidels who seek to usurp your lofty and truly deserved position as balladeer to all the Royalty of Europe and the Empire.
I will bring these snivelling wretched creatures to book and have no mercy upon their worthless cadavers

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 09:57 AM

Is it a DOS Shell that your holo works from then.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,The Victor
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 10:47 AM

McFat has been hiding in his shell since the victorious DeanMaister quashed him in the infamous duel for the hand of the fair Big Bird. He is not accustomed to being the vanquished. Bow down before the conquerer, you varmint. Publicly admit defeat!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 11:57 AM

She loves me, you know....

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 02:12 PM

Good to see you Deanmeister is your arm/hand okay or is it one handed typing?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 03:09 PM

I do not recall your "victory", I seem to recall someone (looking extremely like you) grovelling round one of the female judges in order to evince a false result, despite which you failed to defeat my Noble Lord MC Fat

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: old git
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 06:51 PM

typical...attacking the infirm and crippled...what happened to honour?

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 04:23 AM

None among thieves, old git. I'm typing with a pot on my hand and they're still taking shots at me! We know who won.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 05:50 AM

Please to see you finally acknowledge your defeat Deanie old Chap, Gracious at last, We may teach you some chivalry yet, I am sure my Liege, the Noble and Gallant Lord MC Fat will appreciate your acceptance of defeat. As you quite rightly say you know who won

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 08:19 PM

Right, shush, everone's asleep .............

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 08:20 PM

YO HO!!! Number 400 as well, God this boys a GENIUS !!


So long Suckers!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 03:28 AM

what the hell are you talking about Raggy 400 whats? 400 postings on this thread/ pints / crackers and posh cheese eaten in one sitting?Who has been sucking? and why is it long?

Get a grip my friend!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:37 AM

Wha hey 400 !!!

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 07:16 AM

Rabbit, public decency (and Joe Offer) prevent me from answering you question "Who has been sucking? and why is it long?", but I am taking you advice and getting a grip of myself.

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:41 AM

There are rumours of a new challenge to my Liege from the Child from Hull

Subject: RE: Duel - MC Fat & Old Git
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 06:35 AM

which child from Hull? - not Les?