BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Bert
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:07 PM

Amergin, I don't know whether to congratulate your or not, I worked in tech support for many years. It's one of the worlds most stressful jobs, one survey rated it higher than air traffic control. So best of flipping.

BTW, I've got this neat little program that will quickly find answers in your technical database. Send me a PM if you're interested.

And my glass is empty. Let's have a refill. Got any 'arras' behind the bar there Morti? Who's up for 501?

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Jim Krause
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:03 PM

WELL, I CAME HOME THE OTHER NIGHT
DRUNK AS I COULD BE...

And who should stumble in but that infamous wastrel Chester Drawers. "What this place needs in some good ol' time country fiddlin' an' I need another pint o' yer best stout ta keep mah bowin' arm good an' oiled up. HOT DAWG!"

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:49 PM

Whiskey Cat needs a triple Bushmills so she can start drinking her way through the holidays. And a Macanudo. Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: MMario
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:38 PM

DRINKS ON BERT'S CREDIT CARD FOR THE HOUSE! [congrats to AMergin!]

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:36 PM

Hallo!!! I'll wander in for a bit....I have something of my own to celebrate today!!!! I just found out that my seemingly endless string of dead end jobs is ending!!! I start a job doing computer technical support on January 2nd!!!!

Amerginwhoisveryexcited!

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Naemanson
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:36 PM

He makes perfect sense to me!

Now that's worrisome.

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: MMario
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM

I left my hart; in Sam Clam's Dis....Dis...(hic)sco!

999 thousand 999 bottles of beer on the wall! 999 thousand 9 hundead and noine! If I drink one of those bottles and it tastes really fine, 9 hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety eight bottles to go!

Does anyone know how I got here? I was at work, I think I was at work. Or was that last year? No, I was at work and next thing I know I'm here. I am here? Here I am.

I seen,sawed (hic)

There was a white duck on the way here, with a bill. Duck bills feel kinda funny y'know, sorta like bone, but softer? I'm a widdle light duck, swinging in the water, A widdle light duck, doin' a termater; took a bite of the lily pad, threw it up then I said...I said...

AM I where I was when I thought I was here?

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Noreen
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:24 PM

OK Mortie, I've just helped Mein Host up to bed... ... so the drinks are on the house! Whisky and ginger for me please for the cold evening. Hey- this could be the start of a right rolicking good night... or so...

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:14 PM

Oops, sorry about that. I thought it was the pub cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Naemanson
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:40 PM

Hey BG, was it you who stepped on my hand as I crawled into this place?

Can't stay too long. It's the day I am supposed to stir up my XMAS PUD and tomorrow I am a-steamin'.

Pull another sweet light ale! No, none of that black bitter stuff for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:19 PM

"Well, old friend, fancy meeting you here, of all places," sez she at the end of the bar swilling an Old Peculiar, and not her first one, either, before she chimed in on the shouted finale (to "Sober Men and Plenty") of "Up she flew and the cock flattened her!"

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Naemanson
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM

"OH THERE'S SOBER MEN AND PLENTY,
AND DRUNKARDS BARELY TWENTY,
THERE'S MEN OF OVER NINETY,
WHO HAVE NEVER YET KISSED A GIRL.
BUT GIVE ME A RAMBLING ROVER,
FROM ORKNEY DOWN TO DOVER,
WE'LL ROAM THE COUNTRY OVER AND
TOGETHER WE'LL FACE THE WORLD!"

What ho! Mortee-landlady! I see the old codger who should be serving drinks is hiding under the table. Can ye just pull me a nice sweet ale?

You know, I wouldn't have stumbled coming into this place if someone hadn't stepped on my hand!

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: MMario
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:08 PM

From just outside the strains of "A HedgeHog carol" rise to the skies as a drunken lout jovial caroler stumbles wends his way down the lane towards the MudCat Arms. "Morti said there'd be a party" he mumbles to himself as he climbs through the window (having mistaken it for a VERY high door sill). "WhoA! That's a heck of a first step!"

Picking himself up and brushing crumbs of vinager smelling ruptured egg from his jacket he finally makes it to the bar. "I'm American," he says blithely. "Or should I say UnitedStatesian. Don't blame Canada."

Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Bert
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:08 PM

And if this ancient edifice is anywhere close to Alton you can pour me a pint of John Courage while you're behind the bar there Morti me luv.

Subject: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
From: Morticia
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:51 PM

Let me welcome you ,if I may, to Ye Olde Englishe Inne, nestled soft in the heart of the green rolling hills of Hampshire where time has stood still since 5.15 this afternoon. It is Friday and not just any Friday, since from today Morticia is on holiday until the hangovers of the New Year have departed( about the middle of January ,give or take a week). She is joyous mood and bids her friends join her in seasonal song and merriment………

Morticia wanders into the Mudcat Arms and calls out in her best 'summoning the bar staff' voice," Ho, there Barkeep, a large gin and tonic and one for yourself"! A vision of unloveliness appears before her in the shape of a begrimed and aged old fellow with a scowl that could singe asbestos. " 'Ere" says he, in sulky tones as he draws the required nectar from the optic " aren't you one of them there folk singing types what woz 'ere last week and caterwauling fit to make my head 'urt?"

" Yes indeed," she says with a grin , not entirely free of malice " and so welcoming were you, (aside from that amusing jape with the fire extinguisher which was purely in high spirits, I am sure) that I have come as the advance guard of the Mudcat Pre-Festive Celebration Party.

"What?" said the aged one with a look of horror, " you mean there's going to be more of you?" " Yeah verily," quoth Morticia, who was known to get biblical when excited or drunk " lots, I hope…..singers, guitarists, banjo players, bodrhans……even tiples mayhap…Why, elderly barperson…..what ails you?" she said anxiously.

With a soft sigh, mine Host sank into a faint, knocking over a jar of pickled eggs in his slow descent to the sticky, beer-puddled floor. " Bugger" said Morticia, as the aroma of vinegar wafts round the pub " I suppose that means I'm pouring my own."