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Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Alaska Mike Date: 23 Sep 10 - 09:44 AM How about The Big Bamboo . |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,dilpek4 Date: 22 Sep 10 - 09:41 PM we used to sing this as kids going off to play army in the fields lol A sole - a sole - a soldier I shall be, two pis - two pis - two pistols on my knee, for cu - for cu - for curiosity, i'll fight for the count - i'll fight for the count - - i'll fight for the coun-ter-eeee. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST Date: 07 Jul 09 - 09:48 AM Oh the sun shines bright on Nelly Cartwright. She couldn't fart right her hole was air tight. and thennn there's my favorite: Put it in your mouth Mrs Murphy. It only weighs a quarter of a pound It's got hair all around it like a turkey and it spits when you rub it up and down. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 09 Nov 08 - 02:24 PM "Into the woods!" "NO!" "Into the woods!" "PLEASE, NO!!" "Into the woods!" "I'LL SCREAM!!!!!" "How loud can you scream?" "ahh!" "INTO THE WOODS!!!" |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,stringsinger Date: 09 Nov 08 - 02:18 PM I knew the song as the "Ball of Ballymuire". OK, you asked for it. My step-father sang this in the Merchant Marine. "Christopher Columbo". "They sailed past San Salvador in search of shining booty, A naked whore lay on the beach, my God she was a beauty. The sailor boys jumped overboard divesting shirts and collars. In fifteen minutes by the clock, she made ten-thousand dollars. Christopher Columbo, He thought the world was round-O! That masterbaiting, fornicating son-of-a bitch Columbo." (There is some truth in the sentiment since Columbus was a mass-murderer and exterminated the Taino and the Arawak Indians in San Salvador. Why they have Columbus Day in the States as a holiday I don't know. Frank |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Lighter Date: 08 Nov 08 - 09:03 PM Could be, Joe, could be. Will we ever know? |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Joe_F Date: 08 Nov 08 - 08:50 PM Lighter: Is "Nine Auld Hoors" perhaps an expansion of Four Old Whores of Liverpool? There is quite a bit about that one. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Joe Offer Date: 08 Nov 08 - 04:07 PM I dunno, Kenny. "Nine Auld Hoors" seems to be an appropriate song to post in a thread titled Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know. If people don't like it, they shouldn't be looking in a thread titled "Filthy Songs." -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,kenny Date: 08 Nov 08 - 03:59 PM Maybe better not, "Lighter" - there are limits..... I don't think "Mudcat" would stand the chorus. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Cluin Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:16 PM Two Dutchmen, Two Dutchmen Were swimming in a ditch One called the other A dirty sonofa... |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Lighter Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:08 PM "Nine Auld Hoors" isn't in the DT - or anywhere on the Web. Words? Tune? Anyone? Anyone? |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Joe_F Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:24 PM Don Firth: Aliter: The whip! The whip! No! No! Not the whip! The whip! The whip! No! No! Anything but the whip! Anything? The whip! The whip! |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:16 PM Poor Lil |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:15 PM The first song that I ever wrote that was worth remembering. I still sing it, but even in these days of (relative) permissiveness, fairly innocent as the song is, I don't find too many audiences where I have nerve to sing it. The Little Girl Who Wore Red Shoes Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:03 PM Warren Fahey - the Irish jig Banish Misfortune is often called by musicians 'Varnish My Foreskin'. Seamus |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,kenny Date: 07 Nov 08 - 03:15 PM They all pale into insignificance when you've heard Norman Kennedy or Danny Couper sing "The 9 Auld Hoors". |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Musket Date: 07 Nov 08 - 03:53 AM Ah well, Adge Cutler decided to make it almost printable when he did his version of The Ball of Kerriemuir. Being a Somerset lad, he changed the first verse to Four and twenty maidens came down from Portishead When the ball was over, the maidens lost their heads. Funny how songs evolve... To be funny enough for most audiences, a song has to imply, have double entendres or have the audience thinking one thing and the punch line is not lewd at all. Many entertainers can do this. However, as this is about folk songs as we perceive them, I agree with a posting somewhere up the screen that says The Bonny Black Hare is a good song. It certainly isn't double meaning! Shows the minds of our great great great grandads... |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Don Firth Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:58 PM Slightly different version of one posted above: He: To the woods!Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Joe_F Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:16 PM Mrrzy: A song on that pattern that has been around for a while is A sol-, a sol-, a soldier I would be, Two pis-, two pis-, two pistols on my knee, For cu-, for cu-, for curiosity, To fight for ****, to fight for ****, to fight for country. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Celtaddict Date: 06 Nov 08 - 02:12 PM Linn, I just found a new favorite word! BAWDIOLOGIST! My dad would have loved that! |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,Duncan McLeerie Date: 06 Nov 08 - 02:08 PM Surprised no-one's mentioned "The Great Plenipotentiary", said to have been composed by an eighteenth-century military man. Sample verse: "The next to be tried was an alderman's bride Whose cunt would have swallowed a turtle; She had horn'd the dull brows of her worshipful spouse Till they sprouted like Venus's myrtle; But he rammed her so full she roar'd out like a bull, And her cunt frothed like cream in a dairy So tight was she stuck by that wonderful fuck Of the great Plenipotentiary" To the tune of "Sean Buidhe" |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Mrrzy Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:20 AM Oh, I know a lot of French songs that do that repetition of a syllable thing, always dirty, but hadn't heard one in English yet! |
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Subject: Lyr Add: BOLD SIR JOHN (from Two Ronnies) From: George Papavgeris Date: 06 Nov 08 - 08:48 AM Bold Sir John (from Two Ronnies sketch) Oh Bold Sir John was young and fair, and Bold Sir John was gay He said "I'll tread the morning dew, to take the air and listen to The twittering of the birds all day, the bumble bees at play" The twit…The twit…The twit…The twit…, the twittering of the birds all day The bum… The bum… The bum… The bum…, the bumble bees at play So Bold Sir John he went his way, observing natures farce "Dear mother earth oh tell me pray, why elephants live so long they say Your flies live but a day then they, drop dead upon the grass" Your flies… Your flies… Your flies… Your flies…, your flies live but a day then they Drop dead… Drop dead… Drop dead… Drop dead…, drop dead upon the grass Now Bold Sir John he met a maid, as on her back she lay "Please show respect and come not near, for I've seen may a maiden here Get lost among the new mown hay, so doff your hat I pray" Get lost… Get lost… Get lost… Get lost…, get lost among the new mown hay So doff… So doff… So doff… So doff…, so doff your hat I pray When Bold Sir John return-ed home, they gave him gin to try, "Nay fill me not with liquor up, nor give me grain nor grape to sup, Pour cowslips dew into my cup, a puritan am I" Pour cow… Pour cow… Pour cow… Pour cow…, Pour cowslips dew into my cup A pu… A pu… A pu… A pu…, A puritan am I |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: johnross Date: 05 Nov 08 - 09:28 PM Frigging in the Rigging |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: SussexCarole Date: 05 Nov 08 - 07:54 PM Big thank yous for the Roedean song. Years back I used to be in the Horsham High School hockey team and we used to play against Roedean and had the pleasure of taunting them with that song! (Oh happy memories. Former centre half....(or goalie) -no half measures |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: VirginiaTam Date: 05 Nov 08 - 05:17 PM Pavane... I forgot about Sarah Hartwell. Thanks for reminding me about her and for the link. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Bernard Date: 05 Nov 08 - 04:38 PM Buggerlugs, knicker legs and elastics away... |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST Date: 05 Nov 08 - 04:31 PM "I cannot remember the title of the song but the chorus is" Four and TWenty virgins I think mate. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: VirginiaTam Date: 05 Nov 08 - 04:25 PM Shave em Dry (the unexpurgated version) is about as filthy as it gets. No inuendo. Just bald faced, bare assed porn. I would never have the nerve to sing it. Even privately. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: jordanleonard Date: 05 Nov 08 - 02:46 PM the lady of the manor is one of the best filthy songs ive heard its written by dr busker i think "you could hear the pounding hoofbeats as he raced toward the hall god save save up cried the butler he's going to f**k us all" ha what a singer |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST, Sminky Date: 04 Sep 08 - 06:15 AM Found a copy of "Kiss Me Goodnight, Sergeant Major. The songs and ballads of World War II" at a car boot sale last week. A rich, fertile source of lewdness and depravity. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: pavane Date: 04 Sep 08 - 05:19 AM Llewtrah's rugby song site |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: pavane Date: 04 Sep 08 - 01:31 AM If you want juvenile, sophomorish, sniggering, pre-pubescent and crude material, track down the latest location of Llewtrah's song site (Sarah Hartwell). I don't have the link anymore, but I believe it's still out there. (You have to get past her cats now, though.) |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: frogprince Date: 03 Sep 08 - 08:14 PM I was stationed on a submarine tender on Guam in 1965-66; Since then I've always had a weakness for "Didn't She Ramble", as recorded by Oscar Brand. "She", in this case, is "Miss VD of Guam". The first time I tried to find the lyric online, all I could find was references to the obscenity trial that ensued when the record came out. It's definitely eligible for the list. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Leadfingers Date: 03 Sep 08 - 07:20 PM Thomas D'Urfey - Pills to Purge Melancholy - A Wonderful collection of Bawdy Balladry from the seventeenth (I Think) Century |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Bat Goddess Date: 03 Sep 08 - 06:58 PM I highly suggest another of Ed Cray's books -- The Erotic Muse -- first published by Oak Publications back in the '60s and updated about ten years ago by the University of Chicago Press. Ed's my favorite international bawdiologist and also an eminently readable biographer whose most recent biography is of Woody Guthrie. Linn |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Bryn Pugh Date: 03 Sep 08 - 06:07 AM Roedean (Whoredean) School : addendum Our science master, Oh ! what a fool - He has got a gi-normous tool. It's all right for tunnels, and Queen Mary's funnels And for girls of Whoredean School Lah de dum, four fingers up your bum. What a farce - three fingers up your arse ! Resders' Wives - Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars ? |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,Jools Date: 02 Sep 08 - 11:58 PM No one has mentioned 'The Lusty Young Smith' with the classic verse Six times did his iron by vigorous beating Grow soft in the forge in a minute or so And each time it hardened still beating and beating But each time it softened it hardened more slow |
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Subject: Lyr Add: RODEAN SCHOOL From: Leadfingers Date: 02 Sep 08 - 08:55 PM Roedean School We are from Roedean , good girls are we we take a pride in out virginity We take all precautions aginst undue abortions For we are from Roedean School Chorus Up School Up School Up School ) RIGHT Up School ) SHOUTED Lah De Dum Two finger sup your bum Lah de Dum Two fingers and a thumb Our Head Mistress her name is Gwen She only likes it now and again And again and again and again and again For she is from Roedean School When we go down to the beach for a swim Fellows remark on the size of our quim I bet you a dollar its like a horses collar For we are from Roedean School The under gardener is a bit of a fool He's only got a teeny weeny tool Its OK for keyholes and little girlies wee holes But we are from Roedean School |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: The Sandman Date: 02 Sep 08 - 05:31 PM There was a brave old scotsman at the Battle of Waterloo. To the tune of The British Grenadier. Down in Dartmoor Jail. Hitler has only got one Ball. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Date: 02 Sep 08 - 05:25 PM I once heard a mock-Irish song, to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw," I think, the last two lines of the chorus being, "Try to get a woman, get a woman if you can, If you can't get a woman, get a clean old man!" Ms. Easby's take is quite to the point. Much of this thread deals with juvenile, sophomorish, sniggering, pre-pubescent and crude material - which is exactly why so many of us responded to it, I'm sure. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Steve Gardham Date: 02 Sep 08 - 05:01 PM Billy, British versions of 'Tiddly Wink' utilise the tune 'Sailor's Hornpipe' aka 'Jacky Tar' as opposed to 'Turkey in the Straw'. |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Bryn Pugh Date: 02 Sep 08 - 05:29 AM To the tune of La donn' e mobile Arseholes are cheap today Cheaper than yesterday. Choirboys are half a crown Stood up or lying down. Choirgirls are three and six With or without their knicks. The rector is five bob, He's got a huge knob. . . |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Richard Bridge Date: 02 Sep 08 - 04:04 AM Hmm, no mention of two I would rather like to re-learn entirely: - The British Grenadier "But of all the world's diseases, there's none that can compare To the drip drip drip of the syphilitic prick Of teh Brisith gonorrhea" Whoredean School "We are from Whoredean Good girls are we we take a pride in our virginity When we go down to the Vicar for tea We only do it now and again And again and againand again and again And again and again and again" |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: alison Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:59 AM Warren "cock up your beaver" - should definately be included slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GUEST,warren fahey Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:39 AM I have just finished compiling a book of bawdy songs and recitations circulated in Australia (available early 2009) and I am now looking for bawdy dance tune names as in Arse Over Anne for the varsovenia (various spellings) or ditties associated with dances. It is not uusual for dance band musicians to have bawdy titles since the audience cannot hear these 'in jokes'. Anyone have a contribution? |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 12 Mar 08 - 06:19 AM Lets take these here - Folklore: To the woods, to the woods! |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Dave Hanson Date: 12 Mar 08 - 04:07 AM This the one Billy Rubin Ting a ling goddam, find a woman if you can, If you can't find a woman find a clean old man, If you're ever in Gibralter try a flying fuck at Walter, Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hand low. ................... Do your balls hang low, can you heave 'em to and fro, Can you tie 'em in knot can tie 'em in a bow, Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a continental soldier, Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low. From Bawdy Ballads by Ed Cray, marvellous book of rude songs. eric |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: Bert Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:33 AM To be spoken with the low lecherous voice and replied with high pitched voice. To the woods, to the woods No! Not the woods, anything but the woods. ANYTHING!!! To the Woods, to the woods |
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Subject: RE: Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know From: GrannyInWales Date: 11 Mar 08 - 10:35 PM Billy Rubin: I've only ever heard your parody done by Ken Dodd: Tiddly winks, old man, get a woman if you can, etc |
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