BS: The Dark Side of Hull

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 12:15 PM

Always look on the bright side of life.....

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50 cent
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:59 AM

found him!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:39 AM

ps: if you are following my remedy correctly, you can remove the raw ginger from your rectum this evening.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:31 AM

Hello Peter dear, how is your tummy? Did Aunty Beverley's flatulence remedy work for you? Has your new youth project/pop combo got a name yet?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:25 AM

OMG....not Molescroft, PLEEEEEEEEASE........? Now Cherry Burton, that's the place for them.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:22 AM

It should be jOhn from Molescroft, not jOhn of Molescroft. I bet he does not spell Molescroft correctly either.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:47 AM

Hmmmmm, I wonder if we are about to see a new rash of threads appear, hosted by jOhn of Molescroft.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:53 AM

Just wait till bloody John Prescott hears about this! How am I supposed to keep sixteen thousand lazy council clerks occupied in a little hole like Molescroft. You could at least have budgeted for sixteen thousand colouring books for us Doyle!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:33 AM

Thank you Councillor Doyle for your sterling work in closing Hull down. Pray tell though, is The Deep restaurant to remain open?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Pat Doyle Party President
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:27 AM

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
Colin Inglis, having failed in his duty, has been deported along all the inmates of Hull to a purpose built shanty town to be knowm as MOLESCROFT.
       jOhn from Hull is believed to be living in an underground cellar somewhere. But it is only a matter of time before our bloodhounds track him down, his strong curry odour will give him away!
      
    therefore I see no doubt in any more Hull based threads, and so I respectfully suggest to our brothers in arms at mudcat that they DELETE THEM ALL!
                      Yours,
          Acting leader of Molescroft Communist Party
                      Brother Pat Doyle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:28 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:20 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Ozzy
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:15 AM

Shooting? motorbike? Butler? I thought it was just a bad hangover.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:08 AM

Mick dear, the years have been kind to you as you well know. If it wasn't for the current Mr Barton I would sweep you off your feet and spirit you away to my lovely home in Cottingham, and you would never have to sing for pennies on street corners again!
       I have had a naughty thought MIck, the red room is free. Mr Osbourne is currently in hospital so you could move in as my "butler". Walter would never know! What say you to that darling.
       The police incidentally have been most kind in the unfortunate incident of Mr Osbounes shooting. After several sherries in my drawing room, I convinced sergaent Dean that Ozzy had simply crashed his motorcycle into a tree, so 50cent is still at large on his folkie hunt.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 12:47 PM

This thread is putting f*uc*k*in' years on me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:57 AM

Darling Les. NOBODY WORKS for the council, you all just turn up and take the money.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Les from Hull
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:55 AM

Mrs Barton

I was not doing spelling, I was doing dialect - perhaps not refined enough for your cultured Cottingham ears. And I ought to point out that I am no longer employed by Hull City Council (being the retiring sort that I am), so I can say what I like about Hull.

It's a great place.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:53 AM

Oh no! That was my house guest, a Mr Osbourne who is over from America.Stay in dear, I will be home shortly and we can sort out the mess together.
       I have cancelled my south bank excursion, the cakes all contained some sort of fish, and the locals make Hullensians look positively human!
       Please tell me the Guinea Pigs are alright! That uzi of yours is awfully loud and may have frightened them!
               Love and kisses on the bottom
                      Bev xxx

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:51 AM

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman and rested. Ten God created WHELKS - since then - neither God nor Man nor Woman has rested.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:46 AM

whoa mothers! the cops let me go, they say i am the least dangerous dude in the whole town so i go free.
Beverley i found some long haired stammering burglar type dude in your red room, but chill honey, i blew him away with my uzi!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:09 AM

ooohhhh Matron!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:07 AM

You might try David's and my winkles. They're filling, satisfyingly salty, and easily swallowed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:24 AM

Bloody hell, anybody reading this threda who doesn't kno us is gonna think every one from hull is a nutter....well, i suppose that is close to the truth!!! *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:22 AM

May I recommend the Whelks au natural avec sod-all? A perfect accompaniment is a chilled bottle of Tizer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:01 AM

You have the place to yourself this weekend darling. I have been invited over to the south bank by Cottingham WI. They want me to judge their fruitcake contest.
       Please do not eat the Guinea pigs, they are not ready yet.
                  Love and kisses,
                     Bev.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Ozzy
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:51 AM

No way Mrs B! I ain't bailing out any folkie! Hull Prison is too good for him!
       oh, by the way, I have put my luggage in the red room in the west wing of your gaff, just off to do a bit of shopping in thr prospect centre. Walter is dozing so no need for you to rush back. What fish do you want for tea?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:45 AM

ozzy, you are a silly billy too! Are you feeling a little menopausal as well? Hull was open, but 50cent and the hood shot out most of the streetlights so you probarbly drove straight passed us.
       You had a lucky escape petal, the Sea Bass was cold! Can you believe it?
         Love to all at your end.
                bev
ps: could you send us £100,000 to bail out Mr 50cent?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Ozzy
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:27 AM

Bloody nearly cracked a rib laughing at that one Mrs B.Oh! I have! Sorry I missed Cerutti@s last night love but I could not find Hull. Was it shut or summat? 50cent is right tho love, The Deep is one hell of a restaurant! They even let me bite the heads off my own fish!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:24 AM

Oh my!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:18 AM

Oh Peter, you are an old silly aren't you.I suspect all that electric banjo playing nonsense you are currently engaged in has brought about an early menopause.
   Send me a PM and I will delicately explain to you how best to relieve the symptoms.
                         Love
                         Bev xxx

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:13 AM

Beverley Barton and 50cent? I'm still lost. Where's the bar?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 05:13 AM

Peter darling, how lovely to hear from you. 50cent sends you a peck on the cheek too. The poor love is currently incarcerated having emptied his uzi into Cerutti's ceiling last night. He simply cannot abide cold sea Bass.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 05:02 AM

Please don't all come to Beverley....??!

Also, am I the only person here who doesn't know who the mysterious Mrs Barton is?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:42 AM

Lesley, I suggest you do not sit so close to jOhn. It is affecting your spelling.If I heard you correctly last night you work for the Council do you not? If so, could you have a word with that nice Mr Inglis and see when he proposes to shoo off those naughty Hull people?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Les from Hull
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 07:22 PM

Hull's really dark now. But the sun cums out termorrer!

Well it has done so far...

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 12:42 PM

Damn fine caff, Cherooty's. Had a very expensive row in there with Mrs S which resulted in two different bottles of plonk.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

Yo mothers! Duncan's gun shop dont sell 9mm ammo! what we gonna do in this town now till Cerruti's opens?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 10:06 AM

The tentacles are an unfortunate side effect of decades of inbreeding dear Mario. Somehow, most of the "humans" in that area also have them. I shudder to think how they developed them.
         No matter, according to a much early post, that nice Mr Colin Inglis is going to transport them all to Beverley.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:55 AM

Whelks with tentacles?

Whelks shouldn't have tentacles.

Honest.

WHERE did you say they came from?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:50 AM

Leave Hull alone! Slag off ya own town!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:38 AM

Why thank you 50c. Turtle and Monkfish fondue, at shall we say nine - ish?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 07:02 AM

Rest easy Bev. Me and the hood come nowhere near your patch, the shopping is rubbish!! We rapping in Glasgow, Manchester, London and our last gig is at The Marlborough Club in some place called Kingston Upon Hull. Ever heard of it? Boy we gonna rip that place up!we just got new uzi's and a whole heap of PCP.
       May take a late supper at Cerutti's, see you there?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 06:07 AM

Goodness! Do people actually still forage for whelks? Then EAT them? You poor dears! Times must be hard on the south bank of the river. My husband and I would send food parcels to you all but we never know which Public House to send them to.
          Be a dear and send a proper forwarding address to us.
                      Love
                      Bev.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:43 AM

Why thank you for that 50cent. You may be a dangerously half witted rapper, but in the matter of well prepared seafood I demure to your opinion every time.
                      Love
                      Bev.

ps: please tell me that your current tour does not come anywhere near Cottingham!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:28 AM

The Whelks are local, though from across the water. Please excuse any finger-marks around the tentacles.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50 cent
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:17 AM

Beverley,
       The chef in both establishment's is the same chap.Although for some strange reason, know only to himself, when he is cooking at The Deep he refers to himself as "the Curator"
       Nevertheless, I can confirm to you that the seafood at The Deep is simply divine! Like all good restaurants you can choose your own fish from several large glass cabinets, and have it cooked right there at your table.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:02 AM

Whatever the failings of this miserable little town may be, I have heard that a world class restaurant has recently been opened there called "The Deep". Have any of you sampled it yet? How does it compare with Cerutti's?
         I am prepared to leave the safety of Cottingham and dine there, but only if the chef is first class.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 02:46 AM

well I've lived in 'ull and 'alifax next stop .....
as for whether it is a good or bad place those that live there are blinkered to the fact that there is anywhere else and those that escape are thankful that it was there as it shows haow wonderful the rest of the world is - even Rawtonstall has a higher class of criminal - the police there send criminals Xmas cards!

I thought this was going to be a thread about Daft Ada who used to live on Westcott Street - last I'd heard she'd moved to the Park Ave on the West side ( for those who dont know, for us East Hullensians that really is the dark side!)

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:04 PM

John taught me to spell and Im proud of it . Oh someone just put the light bulb back. gosh the towns beautiful !!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 02:32 PM

Anyone who gets annoyed at jOhn's spelling is in deep trouble.