Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: GUEST,Julie B Date: 26 Dec 03 - 03:41 PM ...definitely singing from the same sheet as Mrs Lemon, Liz, jOhn & beadie! After traumatic & stressful 2002, was offered the usual "things will get brighter", "you don't deserve such bad events/circumstances", "the future must be better" last Xmas. Sadly 2003 bought a new handful of those events that usually score hightly on those lists of "most stressful life events". The adage "Life is what you make it" is usually proferred by those who may well have been through some dark times for limited periods, but who were fortunate enough to have some trace of solid foundations on which to build a happier life (e.g. good physical/emotional health, money, loving family/friends). Yes the content & quality of your life can be influenced to some extent by your actions, but you have to start from the point you are at now, with the raw materials in your possession. If you're starting on solid ground, you can build anything on top. If fate has dealt you a small patch of marshland/quicksand, then it will not be possible to build such a safe, solid life (not unless a lot of new outside help appears). We all want our lives to be happy, heathly, fulfilled, secure. That's what we ALL try to make it. Life is the best we can make it given our circumstances; sometimes, those circumstances can be, and for a long time remain, shite. Julie B |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Peace Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:59 PM Life is great. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: beadie Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:55 PM I cannot say whether or not life is "shite," but, as we used to say in the emergency room while waiting for some gung-ho crew of EMTs to bring in another bit of resuscitated road-kill, "Life's a bitch, and then some asshole rams a tube down your throat and won't let you die." |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Dave Hanson Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:43 AM No but perhaps they may have ' hedgehog ' flavoured crisps. erci |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:37 AM But they don't serve Pot Noodles do they? Robin |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:36 AM anyway=wahts bloody boot got to do with it then!?? its just an excuse, its a big rip off, rusty boot does not mean danfgereous car, its a ficking rip off, i will see my MP, its a big rip off, waht has rudsty boot goyt to do with anything,, its a big con, they just wabt more money of you, its a big con.john |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Dave Hanson Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:22 AM jOhn, don't have an MOT, don't pay the coucil tax and when you get done for it don't pay the fine. Then you can spend some time as a guest of Her Majesty, free accomodation, free food. Not bad eh. eric |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:21 AM anyway=thers another bloody rip off=car tax, total bloody scam, and i;m bloody sick of it. abnd anothrer big con=council tax, them council tax bastrads tryoing to lock me in jail for not paying it, =[ and you cant get legal aod for it!, that must be the biggewst gucking rip off ever" total con, they send you to jail , but get the duty solicitor to be in court, n [not represent you, just be in court, ] toyta;ll absolote bloody con, hunman rights etc, total gucking rip off, they ask me lsst time =" did yoy, have you got any job", i say yes " yes, i work in a curry ship, " they say, ok then , we give you a suspended sentence, " big load of shit=tjis is why# they not a;lloewd to lock you up for ouncil tax, if you got a job, ], they give me suspendef sentence, till next april, i have an argue with magistrate, = i tell him "kiss my fat arse, arsehole", he go red and shout stuff" he say shut up or we give you commiunty sevice, i tell him " you shut up, you talk shiy, you cant sentence me twice for one crime, you give me suspended sentence, you want to change it now , stupif?!" he say get out my court! I tell him " get lost, i going now anyway!" they think they bloody great, basterds! iyts a big rip off.john |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 26 Dec 03 - 03:56 AM my name is not liz, and my car called lader, waht you on aboot? |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 26 Dec 03 - 03:43 AM Does that mean it's Irish Liz? |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:51 AM hello, my car is failed the mot last week and i was possed off, [if any foreen people dont knoe waht an mot is=then its a another goverment rip off scheme, they look at your car, pick faults with it, then give you a big bill to pay, if you want to keep using it, ], it sposed to be for safety etc, but thats a load of shit, = how is exhausrt emissions to do with safty?, big rip off. i ask mot man to fiddle it, and offrr to bribe him and make it pass, [i know him, i known hinm years], he said no, i dont do fiddlles! so this meaan , i have to get my car fixed, pobably cost me loads, and i dont use it mich anyway, itsa big rip off, and a complete scam, ie mot test full price is about 40 quid, and take 5 minutes, total fuking rip off, and repairs is extra, ladas are shit, too rusyrt, need ing m new sills, new a post welding, new boot welding bit, loads of wel;ding, i recoknon its a big con, =brakes ok, lights ok, etc, and if no mot= you cant tax it, and youre'e insurance dosent count, its a tortal rip off,, always making money off the poor people, how they think i afford all that fixing then?, welding is not cheaop, i do it meself, but i am shit at welding, and i havent got the gear, its a big rip off, i got 1 week now, tp o decide if i fix it or scrap it, if i csrap it, that means i got no car., its a big rip off, i wonder how much they make= 40 quid mot money tinmes about 30 millyion cars, =bloody loads, they make loads, and just rip you off every time, its a big rip off. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:44 PM LH - very probably. It's also green. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:50 PM No one has yet asked the key remaining question... Is shit shite? |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:42 PM So Maddie got MOT'd, the car is deloused and you're getting glazed? That Martini is a bit TOO generous! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Mrs.Duck Date: 24 Dec 03 - 12:16 PM Deloused, new rear windscreen and a years MOT maybe life ain't so bad afterall. Large martini helping!!!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Dec 03 - 06:57 PM Happy Bunny!!! Repair man not only fixed thermostat but also plug and dodgy tap too! Limpit was having a side effect and has now been given ear stuff by the Dr. None of us have headlice, but there're three cats here who need another squirt or two of fleajuice. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Mrs.Duck Date: 23 Dec 03 - 07:21 AM Well, Liz not going to outdo you there but Geoff went to pick up the parts for our non MoTd car today and while he was parked in the depot car park some ********** smashed the rear windscreen and didn't even bother to nick the car - the least they could have done and saved us the few hundred the repairs are costing! Oh and Maddie has headlice but thats nothing new. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Dec 03 - 07:08 AM Well just when I thought it wouldn't get worse, I now have a whinging, spotty child for Christmas and I'm having to wait in for the plumber - not for the child, for the washer. Hopefully it's just an allergy and the thermostat. Work out for yourself on which poorly item. LTS and a spotty Limpit. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Amos Date: 22 Dec 03 - 01:56 PM No irony intended. I just get bemused and a bit lost by it all sometimes. I don't want anyome to depend on ME for permission to laugh, God knows!!! Ouf!! Thing is life or anything else can look like shite when viewed from a shite-head. That's the way it happens, IMHO. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Dec 03 - 06:37 AM Yea, it's the pits, man! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: GUEST,weerover Date: 22 Dec 03 - 05:19 AM Anyway, I heard it was just a bowl of cherries. wr |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Partridge Date: 19 Dec 03 - 10:42 AM Talking about shite, we used to call seagulls shite hawks. Pat x |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: freda underhill Date: 19 Dec 03 - 08:38 AM on another level you could say that all life is shite - shite being excreted organisms. aren't we all part of a big cycle of compost? we have organisms all over us & in us, even our body parts are made up of what we intake from digested dead organisms. and somewhere I read (stephen hawking) that our bones are comprised of a lot of different ingredients.. including the ashes of dying stars. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: greg stephens Date: 19 Dec 03 - 08:21 AM Embedded in this not tremendously amusing thread is the little nugget of a suggestion that the word shite is a recent import into England from Ireland. Any evidence either way on this one? it sounds intriguing. And Amos: I dont mind Americans telling everybody theyve got to have Freedom and Democracy, but if you come over here telling us what we're allowed to laugh at, there will be Trouble! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: GUEST,weerover Date: 19 Dec 03 - 07:46 AM Note the earlier references to shellfish making life bearable: some shellfish eat nothing but shit/shite (delete as appropriate) - where would shrimp/prawn/scampi (delete...) be without it? wr |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Dec 03 - 07:04 AM Any guy can have a 10-inch dick - it just depends how far up his ****hole he starts measuring... :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Mrs.Duck Date: 19 Dec 03 - 06:24 AM Don't forget the wonderful imagination Michael its one of your best attributes :0) |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: michaelr Date: 19 Dec 03 - 01:34 AM Ahh, such dejection... Well your life is probably shite, but mine sure isn't. I've got three girlfriends, two cars, a boat and a bike. I sing better than your favorite singer, and play guitar better than your guitar hero. I look better now than I ever did, and I just won $37 million in the l,ottery, with which I'll buy a Greek island to retire to. Oh, and I have a 10-inch dick. Merry April 1st, Michael |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:29 AM ... apart from the ones they spat out .... |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Peace Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:22 AM ...and left finger marks on the rest... |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:06 AM ... someone else has already eaten the soft centers..... |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Coyote Breath Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:02 AM "Life is like a box of chocolates." CB |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:31 PM Alas, I cannot concur.... the Health Service has not only lied to me, but lied twice with different lies and is making things difficult and life a bit of a trial. As for the rest, I think I bypassed 'man' and went straight to Monkey and Dog together. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: GUEST,jacqui.c@Newark Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:20 PM Having just undergone a rather traumatic ten days or so having been told I had cancer of the womb, undergoing an emergency hysterectomy and having to wait almost a week to have it confirmed that they've caught it in tome and I will not need any further treatment - life is definitely NOT shite for me. I found out how much my children and all those around me care about me and the goodness of people in general. I'm lucky - I got away with it this time and, believe me, life is great and precious. My daughter left her three year old son at home with his father 100 miles up the road from me to be with me and now has me installed with her looking forward to Christmas with my family. On the journey up here I looked at the beauty of the passing countryside and thanked my lucky stars that I live in a country where, when necessary, the Health Service really can pull out the stops. I'm sure that there will be others who have had a much harder time, with less support through illness and I daresay in time that I shall start taking some things for granted again. But right now ..... LIFE IS GREAT!!!!!!!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Mrs.Duck Date: 18 Dec 03 - 12:27 PM It wasn't when I woke up this morning but on return from work I find that the car has failed its MOT big time and the fridge freezer has gone off and defrosted all the Christmas fayre - so yes at present it is pretty shite!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: the lemonade lady Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:24 AM Ah yes, that explains it all to me now! I seem to be a bit of a muddle tho'... I eat, play, enjoy sex... enjoy sex... enjoy sex... (whoops needle's stuck) support my family, do monkey tricks (no grand children yet) and sometimes bark very loudly. What sort of animal am I? #8+{ Sal |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: freda underhill Date: 18 Dec 03 - 07:37 AM Life Explained Just in case you were wondering: On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed. On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh). On the third day God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again. On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal." So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex enjoy, and do nothing; For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; And for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody. Life has now been explained. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 17 Dec 03 - 06:15 PM Say Liz, My Love Song may cheer you up... Robin |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Dec 03 - 05:54 PM Hanging is starting to sound awfully good..... I have candidates..... LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Anne Lennox-Martin Date: 17 Dec 03 - 08:54 AM Love, sunlight, new-born babies, freshly mown grass, every cliche in the Book of life comes from a fundamental truth about what is available to all of us. Dark times only provide the shadow to highlight our best times. Like most of us I have known black periods but each time I survive to reach a different place I find living every day is my kind of fun! This isn't meant to sound corny but, oh shit , it's just the way I feel. If you are going through a bad time, hang on in there. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Dec 03 - 06:56 PM Ms Lemon - singin from the same hymn sheet sister, singin' from the same sheet. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: the lemonade lady Date: 16 Dec 03 - 02:04 PM Yes it can be. When you feel shitty and your friends don't want to know... yes it can be. Are you there for them? Yes, but where are they when it's your turn? You know why they can't handle yours? Cos they can't handle their own and so they off load it on to you cos you're a mug and they have that sussed for sure. There... said it! Sal |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: mike the knife Date: 16 Dec 03 - 01:32 PM Harvey Andrews, Nice word. I haven't seen the word "gurning" used in a good while. And I agree- Carey is annoying. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 16 Dec 03 - 11:16 AM Roger (Hrothgar!) still can't spell, even after two tries... fallen off another ladder mate? :-) He he, I know who you are... :-) "Johnny loves the poor and humble, He will keep them on their knees" from "What a Friend we have in Johnny" :-) Robin |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Sweetfia Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:58 AM I totally disagree to the title inhand, life is GREAT! Ok, i've only experienced 16 and half years of it but life is what you make it. You do have highs and lows, but if you aim high you'll get there....god that last bit makes me sound like a teacher! lol! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: JennyO Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:53 AM Nah, he's one of us Oz folk. Jenny |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Hrothgar Date: 16 Dec 03 - 05:33 AM Oops! Foo;estrouPe. Sorry, Robin. |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Hrothgar Date: 16 Dec 03 - 05:31 AM Distracton: Is Foolestroue British? |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: Peace Date: 16 Dec 03 - 12:44 AM Winnie Wellie-Jonesy: The pot mustn't call the kettle black, must it! You really from England? (I took the name Brucie because another fellow had the name Bruce. I was warned, but I didn't listen.) But, I understand that if you wake an Englishman up at three in the morning, he talks just like a Canadian. Ha Ha Ha HA! |
Subject: RE: BS: Is Life Shite? From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones Date: 16 Dec 03 - 12:22 AM I like your line of reasoning, brucie. But do think of changing your membername or at least capitalizing the "B", because it makes you sound like a whiny, sniveling little Lord Fauntleroy type in a blue blazer. Of course, there isn't a lot one can do with the name Bruce, is there? Unless one is a Scot. Robert the Bruce had real presence. If you have another given name, I suggest using it first, as in "William the Bruce". But if you should visit England, for God's sake don't call yourself "Willie"! Ha! Ha! Ha! WW-J |