Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:59 AM

In fact he has been a scuba diver.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:38 AM

To sum it up: a Guest/Mystrocard/Vista Company rep stopped in several times. Finally, SINSULL dropped a net over that individual and we sent he/her/it to Nurse Ratched in the Recovery Ward for a little electroshock therapy regarding some extravagant credit card purchases. I don't know why that avatar disappeared, Ratched doesn't have the html skills, and no one protested that presence, so I hope those posts reappear. Their disappearance is, frankly, more disturbing than Rap's explosives or Don's use of The Button.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,/ NOT Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:29 AM

Maybe the one in the hat, Peace?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:22 AM

Or does Amos scuba dive? Was that on his agenda in Belize?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:20 AM

I'm pretty sure Amos is in this pic.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,/ NOT Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:54 AM

Why do Amos's friends look familiar to me- Way too familiar! lol

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:44 AM

Or we annoyed a credit card company.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:38 AM

Did she finally annoy a mod, ya think? Can't see why, really.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:37 AM

Really?! They have? They have! I wonder why--our continuity could be shot to Hell for this! Foul! Fowl! I cry Foul!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:36 AM

Guess we showed him/her/it!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:32 AM

Noted without comment: All posts made by the fictional representative of the Mystrocard/Vista Company have been deleted from this thread.

How do YOU spell "overzealous"?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:29 AM

Well, perhaps.




Or we could simply accept that most of us are no longer young bums.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:18 AM

Need some of that Crack Spackle, methinks...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Amos' Friends
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:04 AM

Welcome Home!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:04 AM

What a great idea, Stilly! Distraction is the key.

(But what in the world is the matter with her foot?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:54 PM

Oh, and for Amos, this woman, she had an unusual name, Charlize, she said she'd heard all about your Golden Globes group and wanted to know if she could join. It can wait until you've had time to a) find your house b) find your room and c) unpack your bags.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:49 PM

fp--These were originally for women, but I think they look pretty much unisex. "Nude beach" refers to the bottles sans labels (hence, "nude"). That's the best I could come up with in a big hurry.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:46 PM

frogprince, thanks for the inspiration!

Hey everybody, when Amos drives up, lets all....

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:42 PM

Why will I be in trouble, Bruce? I've had a glass of wine at my elbow off and on for any number of posts, and you see how well it turned out! (And none of it on the keyboard--knock wood!)

But I don't know about Amos--I was out checking the landscaping, to see if it was going to recover from all of the pyrotechnics, freezing weather, and water, and er, well, I found this. All I was doing was looking for a sample, in nature, of brown with orange spots to see if it would look okay in the house. I think I like it better on butterflies and pot potted plants.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: frogprince
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:32 PM

I gotta get some pants somewhere; he's going to have enough trauma to deal with when he comes in, without some guy he's never seen before accidentally mooning him hello...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:18 PM

We have to hide the beer, gin and rum bottles or Stilly will be in BIG trouble.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:42 PM

I like the dark brown enamal. Perhaps some orange spots along the walls will help with the accent.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Tinker
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:33 PM

Given that the neighbors haven't complained even once, and clearly Amos left a work order for a few minor improvements, and whereas the property owner left the card to secure said improvements in his absence, and whatsoevermore It looks damn good if I say so my self....

To whomsoever it may concern at Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc. please have your legal department contact our legal department to sort out the varying juristictions of the cross-continental/ intergalactical and varied-dimensional/demonsional contracts. Please collect a formal business card from the bartender and use the there identified legal contacts for all further communication. The bartender will be sure to show you the way out.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Guest/ Not Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:19 PM

Fyi: It is my understanding that Ebbie has left town.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:09 PM

You tell 'em, Sistah Janie!

By the way, I had nothing to do with it either. Musta been some other bear. Unless you like it, of course. In that case I assisted in the effort wholeheartedly.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:58 PM

Ha. Ha. Ha.

You little bullying pissant.

And anyway, take it up with Amos when he gets home. After all, he is the one with all the remaining merchandise, and the beneficiary of all the services.

I sez, let him deal with it.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc.
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:49 PM

Return it. The card that these miscreants have been using, utterly without the authorization and approval of the cardholder, has been CANCELED.   

We have taken steps to direct the confiscation of any and all computers used to make on-line orders so that they may be checked for fingerprints. Certified handwriting experts have been called in to determine the true identities of the individuals forging the cardholder's name on charge slips. All current and former members of the U.S. military will be recalled to active service so that they may be charged under the appropriate military regulations. Tax refunds and other federal transfer payments will be withheld to repay these felonious charges. Deportation proceedings will be initiated on all individuals who are non-citizens residing in the United States. Non-citizens residing outside of the United States will be immediately placed upon the watch/forbidden entry lists maintained by the Department of Homeland Security.

That will teach you all to mess with me!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:41 PM

Deposit it in the middle of the ice rink. We decided Amos would probably like to keep the ice rink. The ski slopes had to go. City ordinances and all that, you know.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Skivee
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:33 PM

Where do you folks want this Mayan pyramid ice-sculture?...Probably not near the hottub.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:33 PM

Oh, come on! (shiver, shake, quiver, quake)

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:13 PM

I was here in frosty Maine all week and know nothing.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:50 PM

I also had nothing to do with this, Amos. As you know, I'm a goodie-two-shoes from way back. Some one stole my cookie and did all sorts of mischief under my moniker. But it wasn't me. Hunuh. 'twern't me. I think it was that mean guy, Peace, and his partner in crime, Ebbie. She just seems nice and sweet, what with that million dollar smile and all. But looks are deceiving.

Kat was also one of the ringleaders. It was her what put Rapaire up to calling in the Legionairs, the Marines, and the Navy. You know how gullible he is.



Wait a minute. Nevermind, I just remembered.


Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:28 PM

"Surely he's recovering from something." Stilly

We can only hope. Looking on the bright side, it is always possible that he has short term memory loss- just briefly, of course. Bemusement, as I intimated before, is the best we can hope for.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:26 PM

NOT THE RED BUTTON, NEVER press the RED BUTTON!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:10 PM

What was Janie up to? (This link probably won't go there from here.)

Okay, I saw it. The trick for those so inclined, is to copy
42/4/86/70/2383486700089500728PBeefR_fs.jpg
into the google search bar and click on the google photo icon. Or do some similar image search. It comes up in a webshots page that won't let you link out from it.

Anyway, what a mess. Nope, Janie, you can rest assured. That isn't Amos' house. That's one down the block that was, well, unfortunately, collateral damage back when Don Firth pushed that button of his. The least we can do is tidy it up.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:49 PM

Well, what I was trying to do would have been quite amusing had it worked. Since it didn't, I'll get me hat and slink off for a little while.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:48 PM

a href="http://image42.webshots.com/42/4/86/70/2383486700089500728PBeefR_fs.jpg">Oh dear.




So much for the renovations.


Where's Rapaire? I'm going to ring his bloody neck for this!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:46 PM

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:35 PM

Slaps forehead!

SINS, you've forgotten. The regular Mudcat Tavern is around here somewhere. Just walk him through, and remember that coat closet over next to the bar? There's a way through to the recovery ward. Surely he's recovering from something. Nurse Ratched would love to help us with this, I am sure.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:24 PM

Is Gluon around? I need him to space time continuum this credit card representative. If he does it just right our little foibles will all be lost in the banking scandal and the bills will go away. One more step on the way to pre-vacation Amosville.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:01 PM

Why don't we just build him an outdoor kitchen? He could feed more of us, with all that space. And he does, after all, have all that excellent weather...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:44 PM

I WANT that house! Amos can have the Hearst Castle!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:43 PM

Cross-posted, Bruce. That's an idea--take a bath and wash the dishes simultaneously! Save water and time!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:22 PM

I'm sure they've remodeled since then. In the world of virtual destruction, restoration, and design, we're giving ourselves a great deal of latitude. For example, this would be a fabulous addition to the back yard, a guest house for some of our more unusual Mudcat participants.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:20 PM

Neat kitchen. Close the opening with a water-tight gate and ya gotcher basic hot tub. Clever, very clever.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:01 PM

I'm sure they'd love it but it didn't look that way when I was there a few years ago.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:55 PM

Is this what you mean, Susan?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:53 PM

You could go rustic and tropical, for example. Of course, one of the more expensive kitchens like at Hearst Castle is not necessarily the model we want to follow--it's rustic but too dated, n'est pas?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:51 PM

Their kitchen is a basic galley-style kitchen with adjoining breakfast nook.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:35 PM

That kitchen Bruce offered was obviously a joke. Amos never had a kitchen like that and so that isn't our starting point. If I recall correctly, all of those few days ago, the original looked something like this, so that's what we need to aim at for our restoration.

Is that what you had in mind? Or did you want to add some upgrades?