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BS: American Bumper Stickers

Related threads:
BS: Funny Bumper Stickers - Part FOUR (384)
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BS: Funny Bumper Stickers - Three! (101) (closed)
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Funny Bumper Stickers! (137)


Bert 13 Feb 01 - 01:27 AM
Murray MacLeod 12 Feb 01 - 10:16 PM
Mrrzy 12 Feb 01 - 09:41 PM
Mrrzy 12 Feb 01 - 09:40 PM
GUEST,John Gray/Australia 12 Feb 01 - 09:21 PM
wdyat12 12 Feb 01 - 09:14 PM
kendall 12 Feb 01 - 09:10 PM
wdyat12 12 Feb 01 - 09:09 PM
CarolC 12 Feb 01 - 09:08 PM
campfire 12 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM
Amos 12 Feb 01 - 08:32 PM
Ebbie 12 Feb 01 - 08:24 PM
CarolC 12 Feb 01 - 08:19 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 01 - 08:17 PM
Matt_R 12 Feb 01 - 08:12 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 01 - 08:07 PM
campfire 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM
Gary T 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 01 - 07:24 PM
Giac 12 Feb 01 - 07:22 PM
Sarah2 12 Feb 01 - 07:12 PM
Bill D 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM
Uncle_DaveO 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM
Matt_R 12 Feb 01 - 07:01 PM
Murray MacLeod 12 Feb 01 - 06:54 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bert
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 01:27 AM

When we lived in Alabama the kids bought one that read "Born Again Pagan" It was great fun driving around with that on.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 10:16 PM

I understand the adverising thing, I understand the (supposedly) humorous thing Like Ebbie, I had to scrape one off my bumper. It was applied in good faith by my wife and read "Scotsmen Do It Better". Notwithstanding its veracity, it had to go.

No, it is the intensely personal ones I don't understand, still awaiting enlightenment.

And I agree with McGrath, what is the "greatest guitarist" doing on this thread Matt ?

Murray


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:41 PM

Bumber stickers, ooh!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:40 PM

I like bumper stickers, but not the Honor Roll kind, I like the humor kind:

I'M THE REAL FATHER of your honor roll student.

Where am I going, and what am I doing in this handbasket?

Cthulhu for President - Why vote for the lesser of 2 evils?

...and so on...

Personally, I have no bumber stickers, but I do have window stickers, one from Tufts, one from UVA, I used to have Vulcan Science Academy but I can't find one, and I also have country stickers, one Hungary, one Ivory Coast, one Ireland. I catch Hungarian speakers that way...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,John Gray/Australia
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:21 PM

Best one I ever saw was in NYC several years ago, obviously the wife's car. "All men are idiots - and my husband is their king".

F.M.E. JG.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:14 PM

CarolC, I think we are sharing the same thoughts at the same time except you type with all your fingers. wdyat12


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:10 PM

I have a bumper sticker, and, I couldn't care less who doesn't like it. It says DEMOCRAT AND PROUD. Wanna make something of it?


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:09 PM

We have a modest gathering of "Born Again Christians" here at the shipyard. Many of them are crane operators and work high up near God in the crane cabs. We put bumper stickers on a few targeted cranes which read, "Jesus is Coming, Look Busy!" The religeous crane operators love them. wdyat12


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:08 PM

"Jesus is coming. Try to look busy."


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: campfire
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM

I would think so, Ebbie. My guitar case is clean, too. I guess I don't want to share what might be a fleeting thought permanently with strangers.

But I do admit I enjoy READING them.

One of my favorites read "My Next Husband Will Be Normal". I thought it cute at the time, as a was in the beginning stages of divorce. I'm glad I didn't stick it anywhere, now.

campfire


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:32 PM

Hey, look at it this way: if your fellow humans are disinclined to talk to YOU, what the hell makes you think they want to hear from your CAR???

But it is true that a funny little cultural back-eddy has evolved -- a behaviour learned, no doubt from the crudescence that passes for great minds on Madison Avenue -- involving using your car as a medium for communicating. After all, they use trucks to promote groceries and plumbing services.

Some bumper stickers I think I would rather see, in place of the current lot:

STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE.
TOLERATE ERROR.
NOTHING SUCKS ­
IT'S ALL PRESSURE
MOLECULES HAVE RIGHTS, TOO
I'M THE FATHER OF
A PREGNANT PAUSE
DON'T BE THAT WAY!
COMMUNICATE!
REALITY IS DEPENDING ON YOU!
IT ALL STARTS RIGHT NOW!
HELP STOP CONTINENTAL DRIFT!
JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN IN A BLACK HOLE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE ONE!
JUST BECAUSE YOU LEARNED THAT LESSON THE HARD WAY DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE!!
GOD FOOLS AROUND
DON'T QUIT NOW ­YOU MAY BE AHEAD WITHOUT KNOWING IT!
WHEN YOU GET TIRED OF BEING WALKED ON ­TRY GETTING UP OFF THE FLOOR!
Life is DESPOTISM
Tempered by SLOPPINESS
NOTHING SUCKS ­IT'S ALL PRESSURE
COMMIT RANDOM KINDNESS AND SENSELESS ACTS OF BEAUTY
IF I WERE GOD AT LEAST I WOULD SHOW UP FOR WORK
PRODUCTION, PRIDE, AND A BETTER HUMAN RACE
-DO IT RIGHT OR GO BACK TO BED
-THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU GET
-MAKE IT BETTER NOW
HUMANS NEED EACH OTHER
-WELCOME TO THE ONLY SPECIES THAT CRITICIZES ITSELF ­AND DOES
IT BADLY!
-MY OTHER LIFETIME WAS A VACATION
CRUSTY, JUDGEMENTAL OPINIONATED S.O.B. ON BOARD
-YOU ARE A SPIRITUAL BEING ­ ACT THE PART
-RELAX! I FORGIVE YOU.
-BE NICE! I WAS YOU IN A PAST LIFE.
HELP HUMANS ­ THEY NEED IT.
YOU CAN HELP ­ FIGURE IT OUT
IF YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVE, AT LEAST SYMPATHIZE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IMPROVE THINGS?
BE AN AMERICAN ­ ACT FREE
WELFARE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR INTELLIGENCE
REPEAT AFTER ME: I LIKE MYSELF
GET STARTED TODAY!
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE
GET BUSY
IF YOU CAN'T HAVE FUN IN LIFE...

WHERE CAN YOU HAVE FUN?

DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM A PAST LIFETIME?
LIFE IS TOUGH ­ BUT IT BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE!
WHAT ARE YOU PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW?
DON'T BOTHER DOING ANYTHING
YOU CAN'T GO FOR A FREE RIDE

IN AN OLD KARMA

YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS ­

START ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!

BEING A BODY ISN'T ALL ITS CRACKED UP TO BE
DO LIFE A FAVOR ­ FIND OUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE
OPEN YOUR HEART

OR CLOSE YOUR MOUTH

THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

IS A DIPLOMA MILL

JUST BECAUSE YOU LEARNED THAT LESSON THE HARD WAY ­

DOESN'T MEAN ITS TRUE!!!

HURRY UP ­ THE WORLD IS WAITING
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW ­IT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT!
LIFE IS A BELIEF
BE SIX FEET BEHIND YOUR BRAIN!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:24 PM

Obviously people are of two- or more- minds about bumper stickers. I never have had one, and soaked and scraped two off a car I inherited- on the other hand, I do have stickers on my guitar cases. Isn't that kind of the same thing?

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:19 PM

"Support the right to arm bears"


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:17 PM

I'm inclined to think that people displaying those stickers would be likely to flunk that reliable personality test...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Matt_R
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:12 PM

I love bumped stickers...but I don't have any! But I do have a sticker in my back window..."East Carolina University School of Art".

Some of my favs:

"If you get too close, I'll flick a booger on your windshield"

"Unless you're a hemmhoroid, get off my ass."

"Vegetarians. They just tastes better."


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:07 PM

As I said, Baby on Board annoys some people.

But I don't get it - there are a lot of people who drive around with a mind-set that the other cars are rival in some kind of competition, and all of us can find ourselves slipping into that way of thinking - and that sticker ought to jerk us out of that sick fantasy.

But since it probably won't in most cases, and it does seem to irritate some people, and irritated people are more dangerous drivers, it's probably not a good idea having the sticker.

But it's amazing the number of cars that do have drivers ploughing into the rear of them, and the number of drivers who drive crazily close to the car in front.

I wish they had some kind of reliable personality tests for drivers - there are so many technically skilled drivers who should never be allowed behind the wheel or in the saddle of any vehicle with an engine.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: campfire
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM

I don't like bumper stickers, either, and won't put one on my car. But the "my kid made honor roll.." and similar ones are often fundraisers for the schools. Friends of mine have been "co-erced" by the schools to buy one.

campfire


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Gary T
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM

Some of them bug me, some I find interesting or amusing.

D.A.R.E stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education. It's a program promoted by police departments to help kids avoid getting into drug use. Its effectiveness is being questioned now that it has been around long enough to start evaluating the results.

"Baby On Board" signs irk me because I see them as saying "My car's passengers are deserving of extra caution on your part." So it's not so bad if I plow into a car that contains only adults? Furthermore, the great majority of the time the baby is not on board, making the notice dishonest.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:24 PM

Do bumper stickers go on bumpers? Not much room I'd have thought, and don't they get covered in mud?

It's common enough putting stickers on the back window of cars in England - "Baby on Board" is one of the most common, and for some reason it annoys a lot of people. I can't see why - I see it as reminding me and my fellow motorists that these are lethal vehicles we're driving, and we're in a very hazardous situation while we're on the road. And reminding us of that seems a good idea to me..

And that's how I'd react to that "My Son was killed by a drunk driver" - a raw and jagged reminder of reality.

The silliest and most dangerous is where people have a sticker in small print saying "If you can read this, you're too close." Which just encourages people to drive too close in order to make out what it says - it'd maybe make sense if it was printed in great big letters that you could read at a really safe distance.

(How did that "supposedly greatest guitarist" get into this thread?)


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Giac
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:22 PM

And there's: My Kid Can Whip Your Honor Student (quite popular in some rural regions).

Or, the ever-beloved:

You Can Have My Gun When You Pry It From My Cold Dead Fingers


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Sarah2
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:12 PM

Murray,

I always suspect these are the same people who avidly watch the likes of Sally Jesse Rafael and Maury Povitch -- however they're spelled -- where the theme for the day is "My Brother Cheated on Me with His Sister-in-law" or some such. I don't know where they come from, but they probably have damned little to display in their lives.

Just think of those bumper stickers as a shouted warning: You Don't Want To Know Me.

Sarah


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM

Murray, I guess it comes from being this big melting pot and having no traditions older than 300 years....and the thing is, only a small % put those things on their cars....and many fewer in some areas of the country. But it only takes 1% of millions to hit you every day....

Americans simply do not have the 'traditional' reserve we associate with the English...(I'll bet in Finland they use VERY few bumper stickers!...I wonder about Japan...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM

I don't/won't have a bumper sticker on my car--EXCEPT, if I can find one that says, "Just say NO to bumper stickers!"

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Matt_R
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:01 PM

Why do you keep telling us "supposedly" who the greatest guitarist is, ever? Who cares? Not me!


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Subject: American Bumper Stickers
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 06:54 PM

I have been trying hard to be a nice guy on Mudcat, and not generate any controversy, but I feel I just have to sound off on this one.

I have beeen living in the States for three years now, I love it, love the people, want to become a citizen eventually and all that, but ONE THING BUGS ME.

What is it with these bumper stickers that inform total strangers of personal details that to my British-conditioned mind would be best kept in the family ?

Let me start with "My Child Made Honor Roll At XYZ Grade School" . Well, congratulations lady, I am happy for you but why are you telling ME about it? As it happens, I made top of my class all the way through primary(grade) and secondary(high) school, but I would have been mortified had my parents ever advertised the fact on their rear bumper. Do American kids ever get teased about the bumper stickers? Or do the "stupid" kids who don't make Honor Roll look up to them in admiration ? Please tell me . I really want to know.

Then there are the "My Child is A Graduate of D.A.R.E" I am guessing slightly here, but I think DARE stands for Drugs and Rehabilitation ???????????". Whatever it is, it is a statement that the child has been a drug addict and has got himself clean. Again, I think this is great, but why are you telling ME about it? Don't you think you should just keep it in the family?

But the one I saw on the turnpike this afternoon really takes the biscuit. "My Son Was Killed by a Drunk Driver" Underneath was the acronym M.A.D.D, which even I can deduce must stand for "Mothers Against Drunk Driving".

Again, you have my deepest sympathy lady, but why are you telling ME about it? And where do you order these bumper stickers? Surely not at the filling station? Or does a telemarketer phone you up and say "Uh, saw in the paper your son was killed by a drunk driver, like to buy a bumper sticker?"

Why can Americans not simply celebrate privately and grieve privately? I dread the day when I see a sticker saying "My Daughter was Raped by a ??????" (Fill in your ethnic choice)

Murray


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Mudcat time: 23 September 7:22 AM EDT

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