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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 06 Aug 03 - 03:30 PM Jenny, What distinguishes our Mudcat friends from the others is that they don't need to be local. We can reach them from wherever & whenever we are. When everything else in your life is changing, that can be a constant--if you have access! Today, I got my new hot water tank; one less thing to worry about! And found out where we can get our hair cut--a house 1 minute from home! Still plugging away on various things, but life is feeling fairly ok for now. Take a deep breath, Jenny. Your life will get more stable, too. love, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: JennyO Date: 06 Aug 03 - 12:31 PM Hi Barbara, glad to see you are gradually getting it together. I can't help wishing I was already at your stage, though. You said you found it hard to do without the internet for a couple of weeks. I never thought I would say anything like that. I didn't even own a computer until last November. But now I'm the same as you. It is going to be hard. So I will try to log on when and where I can, and of course I will be heading straight for Mudcat. What a family! Love, Jenny |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:40 AM To all readers I highly recommend ISHMAEL, and BEYOND CIVILIZATION, both by Daniel Quinn. Real eye openers. What's wrong with mankind? he nails it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 05 Aug 03 - 08:55 PM Hi, Bob, It's funny for you to say that I should read. A day doesn't go by that I don't. I read before bed; I read during meals, if I'm alone. I had a paranoid fear that I was going to run out of reading material before I could get my books unpacked. Luckily, that didn't happen. I have a large collection of books & many of them reread nicely. Good for me, since there's no Barnes & Noble areound here & the local libraries are tiny! I am trying to content myself w/ what's getting done. If I wrote it down, I'd probably be impressed. Unfortunately, I've always been one to see all that needs doing, rather than what has been accomplished. Tomorrow, the plumber's coming back. I either get a new sink & dishwasher out of this or a new water heater! The sink, etc. would be more fun, but I should probably go w/ the water heater, before it rusts out. bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 05 Aug 03 - 08:10 PM As Omar the tent maker said to the King of Persia, "This too shall pass." |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Deckman Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:28 PM I went through a very similiar change some years ago when I divorced my wife of 26 years. I left her the house and everything and I moved out to a tiny one bedroom apartment. The change was intense and utterly exhausting. The one piece of practical advice I have is this: be a VERY good friend to yourself. Don't overdo anything. Set clear but small goals each and every day. You must sit down and read, if only for a little, each day. It will get a lot better. CHEERS and good luck. Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:09 PM Hi, all, Boy, each day holds its own surprises. I went to the dentist today for a check-up. The hygienist attends the church I plan to visit on Sunday. The dentist is a singer-songwriter! Has anyone heard of Joel Goldstein? He has a website at www.singingdentist.com. Pretty funny! Well, if I can locate the baking powder, I'm off to make biscuits for dinner. later, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Alice Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:53 AM Hi, Barbara, This is great, reading about your new adventure! You can get Benadryl gel to rub on insect bites. That will help stop the itching. Eucalyptus will repel the mosquitos. You can buy the oil at a pharmacy (sometimes have to ask for it at the counter) or use those paper sheets that soften clothes in the dryer - they have eucalyptus oil in them. Once you get settled in, I'm sure you will be very happy there. Love, Alice |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: katlaughing Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:02 AM A dab of witch hazel should help with the itching bites, bbc. Also, a mild antihistamine (without a decongestant!) Between you and Brett in his new house in GUam, I'm having a blast reading these threads! Thanks for sharing and you are doing a great job, lady! kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Bill D Date: 05 Aug 03 - 09:34 AM ...and rest of that joke goes..."me not wired for 220" |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: GUEST,MMario Date: 05 Aug 03 - 09:18 AM gee, maybe you should just treat the young men as if they were drug dosages - take two; together they'll add up to one older man... |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 05 Aug 03 - 09:09 AM OK, Spaw, you dirty dog! It all makes perfect sense, at least to me. The previous owners started to finish the basement--put in sheetrock & a ceiling, put in a bathroom, & stopped. So, the bathroom in the basement is not, generally, used. I was following Jeri's advice about standing water. Although the window screens are in good repair, some of them were not pushed all the way into the frames, so I checked on that. The landscaper & the dentist--well, I won't get into that. All I know, for now, is that they both live nearby & seem friendly. I assume they're both married; seems like most people are. I don't plan to go looking for a relationship, this time. If one falls in my path, we'll see. No new mosquitos last night (& I found my dictionary, so I know how to spell the plural form now!), but the bites I have sure itch! Lake mosquitos are large & viscious! The guys are back, finishing up the septic system & I'm having coffee. all's right w/ the world, for now. Had a call-back on a new church lead last night. It's a small independent cangregation about 15 minutes from here. Time will tell. Good day to all, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:16 AM Beebs, I'm beginning to think this move may have been ill advised as the content of yoour postings is getting strange: Good thoughts about the screens being firmly seated & about unused toilets. You have screened in toilets? Doesn't really allow for much privacy......No wonder they're unused. Opt for walls and a door. I flushed the toilet in the basement & made sure the screen in my bedroom was on tight. Why? Does the toilet flush in through the screen or what? The screen may filter out the larger masses but it still sounds disgusting. The screen door on the front door doesn't close unless you pull it shut & I had had the landscaper visiting that day. I don't get the relationship....Was he using one of those screened in toilets or what? BTW, I got a call from the new dentist I'm seeing tomorrow. Lemmee guess.....He's dropping by to use one of your screened in toilets, right? Are these some new way of attracting men??? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 03 - 11:32 PM Good advice, as usual, Jeri. Boy, do I have a lot to learn (but I should have a good-working septic system for a long time!)! Hey, Bill, I heard that joke at a concert, I think. Scott Alarik, perhaps? It's been a good day; thanks, all! BTW, I got a call from the new dentist I'm seeing tomorrow. He himself called at 5:15 pm to confirm my appointment. I don't think I'm in Westchester any more! Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Jeri Date: 04 Aug 03 - 08:56 PM From my own experience, get some good quality topsoil and buy your own grass seed. Dirt and grass seed is cheap and easy. Getting rid of crabgrass and other crappy-soil loving weeds isn't. The guy who did my leach field used poor quality stuff. (Can't get too mad - he did the whole job for 1/3 to 1/4 of what some folks charge.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Bill D Date: 04 Aug 03 - 08:55 PM so, there was a guy sleeping in a hammock (could have been up near NYC)and these 2 mosquitos were hovering over him, discussing supper: "Well," says the first one, "shall we bite him here, or pick him up and carry him down in that swampy grass by the lake?" "Better stay here," says 2nd mosquito, "if we take him down there, those big fellows will take him away from us!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 03 - 08:21 PM I flushed the toilet in the basement & made sure the screen in my bedroom was on tight. That may have been the culprit. Otherwise, it may have just been bad luck. The screen door on the front door doesn't close unless you pull it shut & I had had the landscaper visiting that day. Plus the fact, this *is* a lake community (Read that--big mosquitoes!). Yes, Jeri, I did feel paranoid, but it was after 1 am & I figured I'd better try to get some sleep. I put Skin So Soft suncreen on my face & neck & pulled the sheet up, hot as the weather was! Wish me luck tonight! Today's funny story is that the septic guys worked until about 7 pm & then left without saying anything. They left all their equipment, but the ground was filled in. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to flush or use water, so I called the boss at home. He was very nice & said I could do whatever I wanted, that they just had some raking to do in the am. For now, I have a lot less grass to mow! Barbara PS--Never did do anything w/ those 5 men. They were pretty young, anyway! |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 04 Aug 03 - 07:22 PM Jeri, I'll bet that if you wanted 5 men in your back yard, they would be there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Bill D Date: 04 Aug 03 - 07:14 PM Rita has a mosquito repellent stuff (the Bert's Bee's)that is based on lemon rather than DEET...it 'seems' to help.. (personally, I don't mind the DEET stuff)...but folks differ. Maybe some of those Citronella candles near the looser screens till you can get them patched/fit better?...even wide masking tape can help temporarily. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Jeri Date: 04 Aug 03 - 06:21 PM I can't remember the last time I had 5 men in MY backyard. (Shut up Spaw.) Barb, if it had been me, I wouldn't have been able to sleep unless I got the last one! Having them bite me while I'm asleep is almost a phobia with me. What might help is to leave the light off in the bedroom and the door open and hope they vacate before bedtime. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 03 - 05:55 PM Jeri, Thanks for taking the time to give me all the vermin info. I couldn't resist printing it out for future use. Good thoughts about the screens being firmly seated & about unused toilets. Both are possibilities. I've had bites for the past couple of days, but assumed I was getting them outside. Then, last night, when I was reading in bed before going to sleep, I killed 2 & missed 1. Not a good way to start a night's rest! I had a brand-new huge bite this am. We'll work on it. Boy, putting in a new septic tank is a big job! I've had 5 men in the backyard for hours now! bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 03 - 05:45 PM I dunno, Kendall; is that good news or bad news? Wondering in Copake |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 04 Aug 03 - 04:25 PM being that romantic, you wont be single long. LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 03 - 03:43 PM Hey, Kendall, They're putting in the new septic tank right now. You should be able to visit soon! :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Aug 03 - 03:07 PM Kendall, I've never tried it myself, but I hear that a microscope and itsy-bitsy tweezers work best. Some moths might object to this so proper anesthesia is important. Of course some can't survive the anesthesia so it's better if you just get them to agree and sign a consent form. A brief word of warning......As it takes 197,743,681 moth balls to treat one coat, start early in the morning with your surgery. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 04 Aug 03 - 01:58 PM Moth balls are a good way to drive squirrels out. Collecting them is another matter LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Jeri Date: 04 Aug 03 - 10:44 AM Re mosquitos - first thing you want to do is find out if they're breeding inside the house. They like standing water - check the basement. Unused toilet tanks and drain traps in an unlived-in-for-a-while house quailfy as standing water, but as long as you're running water in them now, there shouldn't be anything new hatching. If they're coming in from outside, check your screens both for holes and to make sure they're firmly seated in the windows. As for the mosquitos already in the house, how many? Only a few, but too many: squish Ravening hordes: -Many biting mosquitos are attracted to light -ALL are attracted to carbon dioxide. You can't stop exhaling, but it's a handy-to-know fact. The mosquitos will go where the highest concentration of CO2 is. Dry ice is frozen carbon dioxide.
Paper bags, nets and fans are easy. The hardest part is finding dry ice. Medical laboratories will either have it or know where to get it. If the mosquitos aren't sounding as annoying as all this, go back to squishing. You'll eventually wipe out the current crop and hopefully prevent re-infestation. In any case, I sympathize with you. When I moved in here, I found I'd have to put up with various plagues. Moths: The dry food is in plastic zip-lock bags, sealable plasticware or the fridge/freezer. Squirrels: Fix the hole in the roof. Catch the one that got in through the unused wood stove chimney and plug that up. Ants: Ant cups Spiders: If I can't see them, I don't care. If I can catch them, they go outside. If I can't, they get squished. Flies: Just wait for fall when the cluster flies start looking for a winter home. Fly stips. Gross, but effective. Chipmunks in the basement: Yell at them and chase them around. They're smarter than squirrels. (If mine have been back, they've been quiet.) Mice: Don't leave anything they can eat lying around. Reducing clutter helps (I've got a snowball's chance in you-know-where to do THAT one). Mouse traps. Cat. I know I'm forgetting something... Sorry for the length, but good luck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 04 Aug 03 - 10:01 AM Hey Doug, good on you man! You remind me of the old man(85) who got married for the first time, and a friend said, "Why did you wait so long"? Old guy says, "Well, if you get a good one, she's worth waiting for. If you get a bad one, you don't have long to live with her." Spaw, now I AM depressed! (Now that I've stopped laughing)! |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Aug 03 - 09:24 AM bbc - re: churches - just to remind you (though I'm sure you know) give them a second shot AFTER the start of the school year...you may find one is a better fit - often the entire tone of the church is different during the summer then during the school year. Good Luck! (from he who is often chided for missing church from the middle of june until after Christmas - but hey! I WORK most of those weekends!!!!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 03 - 08:58 AM Thanks, Allison! Last night, it was the bugs bugging me. I have spiders, moths, & now mosquitoes inside my house. Sigh. Any thoughts on getting rid of mosquitoes inside in a way that doesn't hurt humans? bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 04 Aug 03 - 06:49 AM Sweeite, I've lived here for a year and just unpacked the last box yesterday... that is, the last box that's gonna get unpacked! Don't feel you have to accomplish everything before school starts! I'm sorry about the churches- I know that's important to you, and further, that once you find the right fit, it will open up a community of friends. Keep heart, and keep trying! You know where I am if you need a loving voice! Allison |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 03 Aug 03 - 09:11 PM Thanks for the good words, Doug & Bill. It's been a pleasure getting to know both of you in the past few years. I know you both know what you are speaking about. You, too, Jeri; I think you know I care about you! Today has felt like a rather frustrating day, even though I got some things done. I started w/ a 2nd unsuccessful church visit. The church was fine, but didn't feel like a good fit for me. Then, I met w/ a landscaper who lives down the street. Ironically enough, he moved here from the town I just left & still does much of his work there (1 1/2 hrs away!). He will help me w/ some of what needs doing, but it will be time-consuming & expensive & I still have other calls to make to get everything done. Don't get me wrong--I'm not trying to turn this into house beautiful; I'm just trying to do what needs to be done. It is ghastly hot & humid here, which makes manual work hard to do. Nonetheless, I started organizing my files & have unpacked more than half of my books. That's good progress! I suspect it may be sometime before I feel really comfortable, but each day takes me closer to that goal. And each thing I do makes the house more mine. I seem to have spiders in the house & I'm not talking daddy longlegs. I've been suspecting that they are biting us. When I have the exterminator in for the carpenter ants in the retaining wall in the flower beds, I think I'd better mention that, too, even though I hate poisons. Did I mention the huge oak tree that needs to come down? I have no idea what that may cost, but I have a lead on someone to call & my letter carrier's dad makes furniture & wants the "butt stump!" best, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Bill D Date: 03 Aug 03 - 08:08 PM you have done what you needed to about living space...a house in a quiet place. You WILL get used to that and probably love it! as to relationships, well...just do the OTHER things you like...music, church, books...whatever ...and you will gradually find people who enjoy the same things. And sometimes relationships just happen in such circumstances (it did for ME when I moved to Wash DC 25 years ago)....you can't plan them or worry about them. You are off to a good start..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: DougR Date: 03 Aug 03 - 07:44 PM Barb, I think you made the right move. In time, when all of the problems have disappeared, you are sure to love the rural life-style. As to being to late to start over, I'm a prime example, at the age of 73, of it's never too late. I am now living with a wonderful lady I have known for over thirty years. We are going to Ireland and England in September, and plan to get married when we return. So Barb, as a "kid" of only fifty, cut out the BS! It's NEVER too late. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Jeri Date: 03 Aug 03 - 02:10 PM Ahhh...small towns. The thing is the same closeness that makes it possible to spread gossip through the whole place in hours also means that if you need help, the word will get spread about that too. My neighbors aren't nosy at all, but I we talk sometimes when I see them outside. The woman across the street, has a GORGEOUS garden and has given me plants. And then there's the neighborhood chapter of Men With Toys. The guy on my right mows the lawn (formerly solid weeds) to the right of my house. He cut down some trees and asked if he could drop them so the fell on my property. No problem - and I went over to the HUGE bonfire they had to burn the small bits left over. The guy behind me (he has a graveyard, a beaver pond back and 50-some acres of forest) mows HIS property on my right but also a big chunk of my property. Both asked permission to mow. In winter, there are about 4 guys with snow plows on their pickups. After a snowstorm, they drive up and down the street and plow everybody. The first year I was here, this sort of blew me away. I went out to thank the guy, and he just said "We take care of each other around here." Small neighborhoods can seem strange if you're not used to them, but in my opinion there are a lot more benefits than drawbacks! |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 03 Aug 03 - 01:27 PM Hey, Joe, Thanks for posting. I never felt like I fitted in w/ the hectic Westchester County (close to NYC) lifestyle, but I find that I must have absorbed some of it through the years. Now, I am working on slowing down & simplifying. I think I can do it, but it will take some time & work. I find I am already understanding my students better, now that I know where they live! Yup, everybody knows (or is related to) everybody. Not a good place to talk out of turn or make enemies, but then, no place really is, is it?! Guest, thank you for your post. Would you be willing to send me a PM, if you are an anonymous member? I'd like to chat. best, bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: GUEST Date: 03 Aug 03 - 09:32 AM bbc - Once, a long time ago, something I said concerned you and you reached out to make sure I was okay. It was a compassionate and humane gesture that I have not forgotten. I wish that I could do the same for you now. Just be content in the fact that things you do sometimes touch people in ways you will never know. Best wishes to you in every chapter of your life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Joe Offer Date: 03 Aug 03 - 12:00 AM Hi, BBC - sounds like a lot of us are experiencing the transition of moving to Rural America. I used to be hot stuff where I used to live. Now I live where everybody knows and loves my wife, and I'm known only as the husband of the chiropractor. I find I have to be very careful what I say, since everybody knows everybody - and everybody is my wife's patient. But I love it here. I hope you come to love rural life, too. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 02 Aug 03 - 09:41 PM Today was a good day! My son David helped me find places for all of my bookshelves. Now, I can unpack! For a working librarian, this is a good thing! Animaterra gave me a call. Thanks, Allison! I also had a visit from a woman whose church I visited 2 Sundays ago. She waa very nice; I think I may have a new friend! Even managed to make a full dinner tonight. Yay! bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Mudlark Date: 02 Aug 03 - 01:55 PM Keep up the good work, Barbara...from overwhelmed to stressed is a big step in the right direction. And pretty soon you will begin to get that great feeling of competence and the trust in yourself that you can meet the challenges of living alone. Also good to realize that while you may be living alone, you are not alone. You have friends, family, mudcatters, new neighbors to meet and sort thru, helpful service people... Living alone doesn't mean being lonely or unsupported! Nancy |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 02 Aug 03 - 09:28 AM Boy,I missed Mudcat when it was down last night. Each day, I'm making progress; I just wish I could have started July 1st, as originally expected, instead of July 18th. In about 2 weeks, I need to look toward my lesson-planning for the new school year. Things are improving, though. Instead of feeling completely overwhelmed, I'm just feeling stressed. I haven't cried for the past 2 days in a row. Last night, w/ both of my sons here, for a few moments, the house felt like home. Lots of change, though. Your understanding & good words help a lot! love, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: JennyO Date: 02 Aug 03 - 05:45 AM YES! Woman of power! |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: GUEST,MMario Date: 01 Aug 03 - 04:17 PM of course you can. None of *us* doubted that for a minute...*grin* |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: katlaughing Date: 01 Aug 03 - 04:15 PM Yea!! Go, beebs!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 01 Aug 03 - 04:10 PM Wow! Today, my letter carrier installed a post & mailbox for me. I lined up a podiatrist & someone to do needed landscaping & tree work. My older son has arrived to visit overnight. Things are looking up. Maybe I really *can* do this! bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: bbc Date: 01 Aug 03 - 09:37 AM Spaw, if that's what Kendall's really like, does that mean I shouldn't invite him to use my new septic?! I thought he was pretty nice! More seriously, what a nice way to start the day--emails, PM's, & more posts to this thread. I can't tell you how much this is helping me! I will save this, read it when the kids are away at school, & develop some new friendships from it, I'm sure! Trevor, thanks for reminding me what I thought I would & should be doing here. I hope it will happen in the future. Right now, it just seems awfully scary. I'm glad this thread allowed you to share. Sounds like you are doing great! I'm wondering if we should start another thread on middle-aged concerns about relationship? It seems like there are several of us who are really doubting ourselves. Dave, I would never presume to use the capital letters. My bbc comes from my initials. Folks who've been on Mudcat for a long time know me, though I usually lurk more these days than post. best to all, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Aug 03 - 09:07 AM Well Kendall, not all of us have the problem. In your case, it's because you are a crotchety old bag of wind lacking in both social refinement and any type of redeeming social value whatsoever. Beyond that, you are an enormous pain in the ass to any and all who encounter you and the only reason anyone ever mentions your name is when they are trying to describe unpleasant aromas or the functioning of a puerile yet senile brain. Additionally, the bagworms growing in your armpits tends to put a lot of people off. Get some kerosene fer chrissakes~ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: kendall Date: 01 Aug 03 - 08:54 AM bbc, of all the invitations I have ever had, yours is the most recent. LOL Sinsull, it's only "Downeast" if you follow the coast which runs roughly Northeast. North from Portland would put you in some God forsaken place like Eustis or Lake Moxie. What is it with Mudcatters? so many of us just can't seem to do the relationship thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Dave Bryant Date: 01 Aug 03 - 07:27 AM As a brit, I thought that BBC referred to that pillar of our establishment which resides at Broadcasting House, is often referred to as Auntie, and has the motto: Nation shall speak peace unto Nation |
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Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved From: Dharmabum Date: 01 Aug 03 - 06:57 AM Hi Barb, Well,at least the roof doesn't leak! Good point;not having the sense to run. I can relate. DB. |
