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BS: First Joke thread for 2006 |
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Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: Alba Date: 11 Jan 06 - 09:45 PM Britney is driving down the Highway when her cell phone rings. It was her Boyfriend urgently warning her, " Listen Babe, I just heard on the News that there's a car going the wrong way on the the Highway your on. Please watch yourself!" "It's not just one Car" said Britney, "there's hundreds of them!" |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: michaelr Date: 11 Jan 06 - 06:38 PM (Smarties = M&Ms) |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 11 Jan 06 - 04:30 PM Fourth Joke Thread for 2005 Looks like I started a tradition (but then, I used to be in the SCA)! Do it once - get burned at the stake for doing something different never done before - do it twice - it's Tradition! |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: GUEST,Me again Date: 10 Jan 06 - 06:20 PM A termite walked into a bar and asked "Is the bar tender here?" |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 10 Jan 06 - 09:59 AM "The Blonde and Snow" One winter morning in upstate New York, the husband and the blonde were listening to the radio while eating breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The big chest blonde went out and moved her car. A week later while they were again eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." She put on some clothes and went out and moved her car again. The next week they were again having breakfast, when the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went off. The well endowed blonde was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who support blonde women, the husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?" |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 09 Jan 06 - 01:03 PM "Widow" A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more," the other woman replied. "What stopped him?" asked the first. "I started talking about my next husband," replied the second woman. |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: Moses Date: 09 Jan 06 - 11:23 AM Question:- How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Answer:- Six. One to stir the mixture and five to peel the Smarties. (Smarties are candy coated chocolate beans for those not resident in the UK) And yes, I am a blonde! |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: The PA Date: 09 Jan 06 - 10:58 AM Horse goes into a bar and ask's for a scotch. Barman says 'why the long face' ! Bear goes into a bar and says 'can I have a ...................scotch' Barman says 'why the big paws' |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: Dave Hanson Date: 09 Jan 06 - 09:56 AM Q. Why did Jane Russel ? A. Cos Max Factor. I'll get me coit, eric |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: John O'L Date: 09 Jan 06 - 07:12 AM "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "An interrupting cow" "An inter-" "MOOOOOOOO!" |
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: autolycus Date: 09 Jan 06 - 06:06 AM A visitor to Israel on holiday happens to be in Jerusalem when they having the ceremony of unveiling the tomb to the unknown soldier. He has a guide with him to explain proceedings. After the mayor makes a speech, the unveiling proceeds and the visitor sees that it says on the tomb Isidore Cohen Born Kiev 1893 Died Tel Aviv 1953 The visitor"I thought this was the tomb of the unknown soldier. Guide. "That's right. It is." Visitor "But it says Isidor Cohen Bor..... Guide. "Yes,yes. As a tailor he was Very well known. But as a soldier,pht..............nobody'd heard of him. |
Subject: BS: First Joke thread for 2006 From: Folkiedave Date: 08 Jan 06 - 05:19 PM A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red. "Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands."No" he replies, "I''m just the manager." "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." She asks, running her hands up beyond his ears andinto his hair. "I''m afraid I can''t," breathes the manager clearly aroused," he''s in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message." She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room." Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads' |