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BS: Christmas Sucks...
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Dorothy Parshall Date: 15 Dec 10 - 11:24 PM Ad: Sure will try to make that! What, no Cafe on Christmas Eve?! Hohoho! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 15 Dec 10 - 10:26 PM Dorothy, Hope you and your friend can make it for our Christmas coffee house special on the 23rd. I can't be there this Friday but i gave instructions to Danny that the 23rd is to be Christmas songs only. So he will announce this come this Friday. Maybe this will be a bit of a Christmas cheer for you. ad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Dec 10 - 09:27 PM Yes to all of that, Dorothy! Sounds very good to me and that quote would be a good one for the Decluttering thread, too, imo.:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Dorothy Parshall Date: 15 Dec 10 - 05:43 PM I guess part of my "problem" is that what Christmas is "supposed" to be - commercially -has no value to me. What it is supposed to be differs vastly from person to person. I just want a peaceful celebration with good feelings. Not religious. Just a simple recognition of the peace the world needs. PEACE ON EARTH! That is really the most important thing of all to me. Hard to promote without peace in the family but not impossible. I shall be thankful for dear friends far and near, Wonderful music of many sorts, And the energy to share thoughts with people. "Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your affairs be as one, two, three and not a hundred or a thousand… We are happy in proportion to the things we can do without." – Henry David Thoreau This is a process - working through what I need to do... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Dec 10 - 03:43 PM "Rescue" or, maybe change expectations? We are assaulted with a barrage of what the holidays are supposed to be like, constantly, from media, when shopping, even in places of worship. I can relate to the loud noises, etc. As an empath one has to be very careful about what one lets into their space.:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Dorothy Parshall Date: 15 Dec 10 - 02:30 PM Boy, can I understand THAT, Kat! This guy has not a clue! He has a serious brain dysfunction - totally unlabel-able. And, a pro has told me, untreatable. He can be very sweet but in a nanosecond.... I avoid him. I have explained it twice in person, kindly and carefully and twice in emails - not so kindly and very firmly. But it is like whistling in the wind so I just avoid. My own brain differences include NO tolerance to loud noise; auditory assault (loud music or voices) literally makes me feel as though I have been physically battered. I am working on finding a way to rescue Christmas for all of us! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Dec 10 - 02:06 PM Boundaries have to be set, Dorothy. Neutral territory sounds like a good alternative, BUT you don't have to put up with any verbal assaults, anywhere.It took me a long time to realise and admit that I had to limit my time with one of my siblings. It was really hard to accept that, but boy was it necessary, for both of us. They are not abusive or nasty, but what I call "toxic" for their constant negativity. Once I learned that I couldn't "make it better" for them it made it easier to set boundaries. I still have to reset them, often, but it works. kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Dorothy Parshall Date: 15 Dec 10 - 01:35 PM Right: Christmas is only the catalyst. I would like it to be the catalyst for something good. For Christmas, I will seek alternatives that do not involve our home. Neutral territory! I really want to be able to enjoy Christmas once again. I cannot do that if it is hurting my partner. Maybe we could go help at a community dinner! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: alanabit Date: 15 Dec 10 - 01:06 PM No it is not. Your partner's brother is the cause. If you do not want him in your home, he should not be there. Everyone is entitled to enjoy the people whom they love and want at any time - and Christmas does not have to be an exception. Your partner will have to understand that. He must solve the brother problem. He has no business making it your responsibility. You have a right to enjoy your Christmas like everyone else. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Dorothy Parshall Date: 15 Dec 10 - 11:59 AM I am only beginning to recover from many years of being isolated/alone at Christmas. Usually, but not always, someone would invite me home for that day. But I built up a strong antipathy to what had been, for me, a special family time. I realized that there are MANY people who are isolated, often permanently, from people who care about them, may not have anyone anywhere who cares, who they FEEL cares. I still tend to ignore it to a high degree although I would really like to find the energy to do something about it. I bought a string of Christmas lights last year and now I cannot find them. But I found my "welcome" sign and hung it in the door window and found a red trimmed curtain to put on the window and hung my "Peace on Earth" banner in one window. And a string of mini decorations on the house plants. And put out the crazy wreath that has a wee train that goes around, chugging and whistling and playing Jingle Bells - good for a smile! I could not bring my houseplants across the border - from USA to Canada - so I am bereft of my permanent Christmas tree - Norfolk Island Pine and my star studded Jasmine tree (4 feet tall). I focus on the gold centres of my new Clivia in bloom - a spark of beauty. I try to think about Christmas Day and do I have the energy to plan a meal and invite a very few people in this same boat. Can I do this without my partner's totally intolerable brother? At that thought, I give up. He destroyed my Christmas last year. There are many reasons why, for many people, Christmas sucks. Some can be alleviated, circumvented, dealt with in some manner. Others...... I'll keep working on it. Forgiveness is one thing, dealing with an out of control @#$%^& is harder. I know he cannot help the way he behaves; I do not want that auditory violence polluting my home. How do I meet the needs of myself, my partner who feels he is his brother's keeper (in the Biblical sense), his brother who may or may not be invited elsewhere? Suggestions short of murder will be given serious consideration. There are others who also do not want him in their homes. OK, I am thinking out loud. That tells us how much this is weighing on me. And Christmas is the cause. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: katlaughing Date: 14 Dec 10 - 11:11 PM In case Bill's link didn't work for others like me, I also found it HERE. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: frogprince Date: 14 Dec 10 - 10:00 PM Bill D., thanks for that. I rate it as a stunning piece of art. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: katlaughing Date: 14 Dec 10 - 09:18 PM Thanks, Adrien and SRS. It is too long, but there has been nothing any of us could do about it, the past twelve years have been tough in many ways. We are okay and we do cope with it in our own ways. If someone had told me I wouldn't see my mom for eight years when I moved back to New England, I would have never believed them, but it did come to pass. I wouldn't have believed it when we left our daughter back there to move back to the West. We joke about being "reverse" pioneers and reliving the long separations of our ancestors and their families. She and I have gotten past the crying our eyes out over it and just concentrating on making it a good day for the boys. She does have a wonderful boyfriend and his family, plus her ex-in-laws include her and have been pretty neat grandparents to the boys. Thanks for the music links, Becky. I was kind of surprised the second song of the jingle mix was about getting drunk on Christmas!:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Amos Date: 14 Dec 10 - 08:25 PM Happiest of Christmases, to you, Skipper, and Becca and Jacqui too! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: kendall Date: 14 Dec 10 - 08:04 PM Becca, I think he hates me because Jacqui left. He is always glad to see you. Ungrateful flea hotel... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: gnu Date: 14 Dec 10 - 02:19 PM Suck? BIG time. Worst day of the year. I gotta spend three or four hours with my relatives. ON TOP of having to eat at least some of the heartburn. Bah humbug! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: skarpi Date: 14 Dec 10 - 12:51 PM You find your Christmas in your heart , not in books , or cd, or others things ..... if you find the joy for Christmas ...you found it . :O) Good luck . kv Skarpi |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Bill D Date: 14 Dec 10 - 12:11 PM wrap yor heads around THIS (You may have to enable javascript or something...it played for me.) the words...from the database: ANTI-CAROL (John Pole) It weren't no picnic It weren't no picture post card It was cold as 'taters in the mould When the couple come lookin' for a room Cold shouldered they were when the landlords looked at her And saw the baby in her womb Cold comfort they got Was there a room? There was not The town was crowded for a start And it was cold, cold, cold, cold Cold as a beggar boy's heart It could have been in Jo'burg, Detroit. Chittagong, Calcutta So long since it happened I'm wrong! It happened yesterday It happens now more and more... Then somebody said he could lend them a shed Crashing down on the floor Just concrete and iron and a blanket to lie on They'd been walkin' all day And their home was such a long, long, long, long Long way away They never heard no angels Just the big police siren When the light come fumblin' through the night Her waters broke. The kid begun to come "Is there a doctor?" "No fear, Only poor people here What would you pay him with, chum?" There war ice on the door. She sweated; he swore He saw the head of his child And then together him and her Helped it into the world There weren't no cattle watching Just a rat and twenty cockroach The kid cried. His dad soon had him washed and dried When his mother woke she give him breast He shared his parents' love And he was heir to their poverty It war all they possessed And then the rumors got 'round There were soldiers in town With orders "Search and Destroy" They didn't want to get wasted They left town a bit hasty The man, his wife and their boy, boy, boy, boy, Young wife and new baby boy He was theirs they made him Out of love, hope, and suff'ring God's son? Or just another one! More like millions born to slave, starve, and die Oh p'raps when he grows and sees how the world goes He'll help to change it by and by Let's hope the soldiers don't hang this new son of man Like they done one before ... Will he bring peace or a gun? When his kingdom does come It'll belong to the poor, poor, poor, poor. The homeless and poor Copyright John Pole 1972 Recorded by Frankie Armstrong on Out of Love, Hope and Suffering |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Amos Date: 14 Dec 10 - 12:01 PM "There is no Christmas that does suck, or sucketh not, but thinking makes it so...". I think Billy the Shake said that. "It's all in your mind, man." Bob Dulan said that. "Merry Christmas to you all!" I said that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: GUEST,crazy little woman Date: 14 Dec 10 - 11:56 AM Maybe the dog's 'depressed' because the house is empty. They get lonesome, you know. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Desert Dancer Date: 14 Dec 10 - 10:52 AM For those not on the blue side, NPR has a couple other offerings: Jingle Jams: A Holiday Mix From NPR Music (streaming) A Holiday Gift: The All Songs Considered Mighty Holiday Music Special 2010 (podcast) but then there's George Jones: The Voice Of Heartbreak from the 50 Great Voices series ~ B in T |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Desert Dancer Date: 14 Dec 10 - 10:43 AM Just in time: 5 Depressing Blues Songs For Christmas (from NPR Music's jazz blog). But, I'm glad not to be blue this year, and I'm looking forward to seeing my son's smiles when he unwraps his bass guitar, glad that family can pitch in and make it happen. ~ Becky in Tucson |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Becca72 Date: 14 Dec 10 - 10:00 AM Do I need to come over and let the dog out, Dad? I seem to have been deemed the official dog-letter-outer (by the dog). :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Bobert Date: 14 Dec 10 - 09:33 AM We *know* better, Capt'n... From the sounds of things, Santa ain't got nutnin' goin' on compared to all the goin' ons 'round yer house... And don't go blamin' yer backslidin' on the depressed dog... BTW, how do ya' know that the dog is depressed??? You take away his Zoloff??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: GUEST,kendall Date: 14 Dec 10 - 09:20 AM My wife is in England for Christmas, but I'll have dinner with my family and Sinsull.After that, back to an empty house and a depressed dog. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: maeve Date: 14 Dec 10 - 09:06 AM I love Christmas, even when I find myself in tears. We miss loved ones. This one will be strange- both sad and hopeful- because of last December's fire. We're in a camper, building a new home soon, and dealing with fire trauma and paperwork. In many ways, we're still in the fire; yet like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, we know we have been protected from the fire, and are grateful. We are glad to be here. Our gifts are one another, and a new beginning. We ponder what was, what might have been, what is...and look forward to the return of Light. Maeve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Bobert Date: 14 Dec 10 - 08:53 AM Well, first of all, Christmas doesn't really such for me and the P-Vine... I started this thread so that if people thought it sucked they would have somewhere to go... Or if they didn't think it sucked they could come here, too... Us??? Hmmmm??? Yeah, we are getting ready to move and I been packin' stuff up and have an entire area of my "farrowing barn" (not that I'm into that farrowing, mind you) which is dry which is going to be the staging area for all the boxes and furniture that needs to come out of the house to make it look bigger when it gets relisted on MLS in late winter... The P-Vine says, "No decorating"... Ha!... I love getting out "The Xmas Box"... It's one of those plastic containers about 4 feet by 2 feet and about 2 feet deep and has tight closing lid and it has Christmas stuff in it going back to my childhood... So, I'll be decorating, even if it means waiting until the P-Vine goes to bed on Christmas Eve... Now fir those of you who find yerselves in the "Christmas sucks" column just keep in mind that ya'll got lotta friends here in the Mud Pit... Right??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Dharmabum Date: 14 Dec 10 - 07:52 AM I always spend a lot more time in the woodshop this time of the year. Among the projects this year is a toybox for my twin grandaughters. It looks like I may even get it done in time. Of course,if not, It wouldn't be the first time I've put a present under the tree with the paint still a little tacky. Merry Christmas. DB. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Naemanson Date: 14 Dec 10 - 07:41 AM Well, let's see, I am thousands of miles from my family, I live in a place that has never seen snow, I have no children to share it with, and I am an old grouch anyway. Last Friday my wife and I stopped in at KMart and ran into the holiday shopping frenzy. When we got back into the car I said I now remember why I don't go shopping in December. If I had to go into that mess again I could learn to hate Christmas. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Leadfingers Date: 14 Dec 10 - 07:32 AM Of COURSE Christmas Sucks !! That's why there are Christmas Humbugs ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: alanabit Date: 14 Dec 10 - 04:33 AM I love Christmas. It reminds me of how many wonderful friends I have in my life and how very lucky I am to have so many good people around me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 Dec 10 - 12:49 AM I'm with Beer, Kat. 12 years is way too long. Four months was tolerable, but it is such a joy to have him back here (fussing still with the computer - we do that a lot here, and it's something we're good at, so this trouble-shooting activity is business as usual for us.) Must find the correct drivers to install. So, Bobert, you're getting set to move. What does Christmas look like for you? SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Sandy Mc Lean Date: 14 Dec 10 - 12:44 AM After singing Christmas songs at four different sessions this past weekend this old Grinch is starting to catch the spirit! Ho Ho Ho! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 14 Dec 10 - 12:00 AM Kat, that is much to long. My heart goes out to you. I could not think of being away from my son or grand son for more than a week or two. I do not know your situation nor do I want to know it hear on open form, but something should be done. I will p.m. you. ad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: katlaughing Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:36 PM Skype is great. I wish my dau. back east could afford internet. Maybe now that she has graduated. It's been twelve years since I've seen her and my grandsons and no Christmas together since 1992. Too long, but we do all muddle through. Morgan, the grandson who is here, may also be gone for a few days at Christmas, but at least we'll see him before and after. SRS, good to hear your son got in all right. Ad. hope your son doesn't have to be gone too long and he gets a return ticket! katinbetweenchristmassuckingandnot:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:36 PM Sorry Bobert. Not meaning to take away from your post. I guess you just gave me the opportunity to vent. Thanks Bub. ad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:34 PM We tried before he left but were not able due to some computer crap. I am on Skye and it is great. We have e-mailed and I gave him the run down on his son(Noah)hockey game. So that is great in a way. Thanks KT |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: KT Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:15 PM Aw, Beer, I know what that's like. Get thee on Skype. Makes those many miles disappear.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:13 PM Christmas may just suck for me. My boy (who is 36) left last Friday to China on a one way ticket until his business is done. I have a feeling that for the first time in 36 years he won't be home for Christmas. Have a good Christmas Aaron. Love Dad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: J-boy Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:06 PM A Christmas Suck. That doesn't sound so bad. Please forgive me and and my filthy mind. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:06 PM I'm bouncing off the walls this evening. Picked up my son at the airport after his being away for 4 months for the fall semester at university. He looks good and is now entertaining himself by installing things in the computer I rebuilt that I couldn't find the disks for. And then he'll add in the games. :) Megadeth is booming from the back corner of the house. This was my xmas present, delivered early. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:01 PM I started feeling to sentimental. Maybe I'll write back tomorrow. ad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Beer Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:00 PM It sucks in all those artificial ways, but it still brings family's together from close and far off distances to be together. It also brings tear to those who .... ad. |
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Subject: BS: Christmas Sucks... From: Bobert Date: 13 Dec 10 - 10:48 PM ....ahhhhh, jus' funnin'... But now that I got yer attention, what's you think??? |
