BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: darkriver
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 03:32 PM

Lord Chesterfield on adultery:

The position is ridiculous, the pleasure is fleeting, and the expense is damnable.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:27 AM

Ah, Samuel Johnson. That's a good one! (I have a very early edition of one of his dictionaries, inherited from my father's family.)

I hadn't thought of Mencken, but he did more than his share of contributing pithy one-liners in his lifetime. Mencken, like Walter Winchell, had a great deal of influence with his newspaper work. (This is in no way an endorsement of either man's politics, which were complicated, as I recall).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 09:44 AM

In this world there are only two ways of getting on -- either by one's own industry or by the imbecility of others. -- Jean de la Bruyere

'Tis not in mortals to command success, / But we'll do more, Sempronius -- / We'll deserve it. -- Joseph Addison

I knew very well what I was undertaking, and very well how to do it, and have done it very well. -- Samuel Johnson

Success is the end of hope. -- Anon.

Any live man has succeeded in living; any dead man may have succeeded in committing suicide. -- G. K. Chesterton

(The first four of these are in H. L. Mencken's New Dictionary of Quotations, s.v. sucess. That compilation has no index & so is almost useless for *finding* a quotation; but because it is classified by subject & has cross references, for this kind of browsing it is supreme.)

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: Be sincere: fool yourself first. :||

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 02:31 PM

And here he is---the man who did for folk music what pantyhose did for sex.

(Utah Phillips once introduced me that way)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 05:58 AM

Hundreds of light-bulb jokes and you're still not happy? If they don't count for acheivments then what does.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 11:34 AM

Thanks! I'll compile this list and see what comes of it. And by reading the last few entries, it sounds like time for some Dorothy Parker: If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Actually, the one that suits my reason for starting this thread best is:

I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 10:58 AM

"You know I wouldn't say anything about her that wasn't good.... And is THIS good!!!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: mack/misophist
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 10:40 AM

As apt as it was, the last post requires a mention of Alice Roosevelt Longworth's fameous remark:

"If you can't say anything good about anybody, come sit beside me."

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 02:42 AM

A couple here from Eleanor Roosevelt:

"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product."

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people"

Doug C

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: open mike
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 01:44 AM

the link at the bottom of the last page was for Randon acts of kindness
at http://www.actsofkindness.org/ it seems like they might have some nifty ideas there.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: open mike
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 01:41 AM

something i heard on the NPR station during the pledge drive..
a living is from what you make
a life is from what you give
or something like that...
You make a living by what you get
You make a life by what you give
...
that's it, i think

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Peace
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:39 PM

http://quotations.about.com/cs/inspirationquotes/a/Achievements21.htm

Takes about five seconds to load.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:39 PM

... or was that

I saw, I came, I farted...

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:36 PM

Just as well it's padded, Bill!




I came, I saw, I farted!

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 06:09 PM

"You had better be an Is-Now than a Has-Wasser; and as for a Not-Yet-But-Soon, why he is always one."

no, I don't understand it. I used to know all that stuff, but my brain cell is tired.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 06:01 PM

Ah- maybe it's a 'rabbitwater'? Or 'waterrabbit'? One has to be creative with one's spelling.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 03:21 PM

I dunno -- I think it is sort of a "was-gonna" married to a "has-been", but that's just a guess!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 02:22 PM

What's a 'haswasser', Amos? I understand 'wasser', but 'has' seems a corruption of 'hate' or maybe 'hot'. But that's just my ignorance talking.

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 02:08 PM

A burning passion coupled with absolute detachment is the key to all success.    Gandhi

It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide on what to do. Anon.

Audacity is not necessarily genius.

Mutual helpfulness makes for mutual happiness, and is the only morality.

It is the unusual that gives opportunity.

It is what we think and what we do that make us what we are.

Men who succeed have faith in themselves, and have faith in their fellows. Doubt either and you are a has-wasser.

(All these are from Epigrams of the Day


A

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 02:03 PM

Mark Twain;s ideas on Wit and History:

"Wit and Humor--if any difference it is in duration--lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, brief, and can do damage--the other fools along and enjoys the elaboration.

- Mark Twain's Notebook"

...to wit...

"Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

- Acknowledgments for A Horse's Tale"

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:45 PM

lots of directions

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:35 PM

"Write a witty saying and your name will live forever."
-Unknown-

Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:25 PM

Behind an able man there are always other able men.   - Chinese Proverb
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.   - Muhammad Ali

and here

Subject: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:00 PM

Can any of you assist me by sharing your favorite one-liners to do with success or achievement? Pithy, wisecracking, historic or contemporary, any are welcome. Humorous insight is the object in mind. A friend is looking for a good one-liner as he pays homage to a favorite history professor upon her retirement. I've heard many fine ones over the years, but none come to mind at the moment. I didn't write them down or commit them to memory. The Internet, as useful as it can be, is mostly a source of watered-down bland or "inspirational" quotes. Where are they when you need them--Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Flo Kennedy, Dorothy Parker, Johnny Carson, Homer Simpson? Philosophers and other keen observers of human nature please apply. (Not much turns up in Bartlett's.)

If you read or heard a remark that resonated enough to stick with you, will you share it? If possible, please name the source or cite the program or event, if it was an award show, etc.

Thanks in advance!

SRS