BS: One Liners

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: GUEST,Homeless (somewhere else)
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 01:02 AM

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: BlueJay
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 02:05 PM

W.C.Fields, on his deathbed, was seen to be reading The Bible. When asked what he was doing, he replied, "Looking for loopholes".

Harold Ross, possibly to James Thurber, interviewing for a position at The New Yorker: "...and don't think you'll be starting as a reporter. You'll begin as Managing Editor like everyone else".

The Dorothy Parker line listed in GUEST, Frankie's post was her response when asked to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence: "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think".

A lady remarked to James Thurber that his stories seemed even funnier in French than in English. He said, "Yes, I always seem to lose something in the original".

At first, I was hesitant to join The Mudcat Cafe. As Groucho Marx so aptly put it: "I would never belongto any club that would allow me as a member".

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: GUEST,thomas the rhymer
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 03:06 PM

He was so thin, he had to jump around in the shower,... just to get wet.

cocaine is GOD's little way of telling you that you've got too damn much money.

jack sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean,.. so whatdoyaknow between them both they licked the platter clean...

why, that's so simple, an eight year old kid could figure it out,... so,..... whatareyastandinaround for?... go get an eight year old kid, and we"ll be done before you know it!

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 09:46 PM

Catspaw49, Thanks for the chuckle! I actually giggled out loud when I read your little telescope joke. Too funny!

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: Troll
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 10:35 PM

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Sex: The thing that take up the least amount of time and causes the greatest amount of trouble. John Barrymore

troll

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 09:41 AM

If sex took John Barrymore "the least amount of time," no wonder it caused him trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 09:56 AM

Our first CD was a million-seller. Yeah, we still have a million copies down in the cellar.

We just signed a big contract with Columbia Records. [Wait for applause.] Yeah, we only have to buy 6 CD's in the next two years, and we get 12 free ones.

Subject: RE: BS: One Liners
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 10:12 AM

KORF'S JOKE

Korf has invented a new kind of joke:
The point comes only many hours after.
All listen to them with disdain and boredom.

But like the light that shineth in the darkness
They rouse you from your slumbers wildly gurgling,
Holding your sides and laughing like a drain.

Christian Morgenstern
(trans. RFC Hull)