Funny Bumper Stickers!

Subject: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Ian Stephenson
Date: 05 May 99 - 05:42 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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Me and a few mates were at moor & coast festival the other day, and we passed a van with a big sticker in the window. It had a picture of a cockerel, and -you guessed it- it said: "My cocks a winner!!" Also, we were walking down a street past a pub, and saw a great big sign saying: "Beaver fun party 12 o'clock"!! It was of course the young boy scouts division having a little party in the pub! Any other amusing stickers/posters? Cheers, Ian

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:06 AM

Oxymoron innit?

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: dwditty
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:13 AM

Once saw a bumper sticker that said "Honk if I'm Polish" Of course it was on upsidedown.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: MudGuard
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:30 AM

I once saw one saying (written upside down):
if you can read this,
please put my car back on its wheels

And another one, not upside down, but very small letters:
Sorry I drive so close before you

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:49 AM

I presume we are not counting things like "Young farmers do it in wellies"?

My uncle claimed to have seen this on the wall of a public lavatory in the late fifties:

Ileap with glee, I jump for joy -
I was here before Kilroy!

and underneath, in a different hand:
Sorry to spoil your little joke,
I was here, but my pencil broke
Kilroy

and under that (different hand again): While you are reading this you are piddling on your shoes

Not actualy a bumper sticker, as such ...

Steve

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From:
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:52 AM

My fav..is "if all men are idiots..then I've married the King!"

Ritchie

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Ian Stephenson
Date: 05 May 99 - 08:43 AM

Oxymoron it is!

Cheers for the fun guys + dolls. Keep up the good work! Ian

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: JOField
Date: 05 May 99 - 08:50 AM

My Kharma Ran Over My Dogma

They Can Send Me to College, But They Can't Make Me Think

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Ian Stephenson
Date: 05 May 99 - 09:02 AM

Hello

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Ian Stephenson
Date: 05 May 99 - 09:03 AM

Hello Again

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 May 99 - 09:32 AM

I speak fluent patriarchy, but it's not my mother tongue.

Eschew obfuscation!
Death to all fanatics.
The artless are in charge of funding the arts
I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.
This is from the early 70's: Fight Smog...Ride A Cowboy (somebody stole it off my car!)
Lord help me be the person my dog thinks I am.
Not all who wander are lost
Ginger Rogers sis everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards
God was my copilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
What a Tnagled WOrld Web We Weave
My goddess gave birth to your god
Isis, Isis! Ra! Ra! Ra!
For Big Mick: The Labour Movement...the folks who brought you the weekend
Visualize whirled peas
Only you cna prevent narcissism

How many do you want? I've the catlaogue in front of me. :-) If you'd like to see more click here

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: folk1234
Date: 05 May 99 - 09:57 AM

Two of my favorites from the early '80s are: "Nuke the whales and save the sand fleas", and "Women who seek equality are underachievers"

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:40 AM

Not exactly a bumper sticker, but seen in a mens room stall years ago,

God is Love, Love is Blind, Ray Charles is blind, Ray Charles is God

I loved Visualize Whirled Peas and God was my co-pilot.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Peter Fisher
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:43 AM

Seen on the back of a 1975 Buick driven by a little old man who resembled George Burns: "Don't tell me what kind of a day to have!"

Others I like:

"Doing my part to piss off the religious right."

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot."

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Tony Burns
Date: 05 May 99 - 01:04 PM

Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.

Stolen from here.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Bert
Date: 05 May 99 - 01:17 PM

Who said Goddesses have to be anorexic?
and... Born again Pagan

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Allan C.
Date: 05 May 99 - 02:03 PM

The best day I ever had was when she said, "I'm leaving!"
If you don't like the music, get outa the plucking way!
Adam was a rough draft
I practice safe sex...and practice, and practice
Some people pick their noses but I picked you
Last night I felt the spirit move me It was probably something I drank
And my favorite: It isn't a belly it's a resonator!

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From:
Date: 05 May 99 - 02:42 PM

"I WANT TO DIE PEACEFULLY IN MY SLEEP

not kicking and screaming like my passengers"

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: JOField
Date: 05 May 99 - 02:53 PM

If brains was shoes, you'd be barefoot up to your knees.

-- Pogo

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Banjer
Date: 05 May 99 - 06:22 PM

DRIVER CARRIES NO CASH - Wife and kids have it all!
The more I learn about wome, the more I like my truck
Don't tailgate or I'll flick a bugger on your windshield

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:28 PM

I will date myself, but I laughed out loud when I read one that said, "Will Rogers never met Howard Cosell".

Mick

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Robin McG
Date: 05 May 99 - 07:55 PM

"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks your an asshole!" "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go."

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: emily rain
Date: 05 May 99 - 09:17 PM

i don't mind republicans, so long as they don't flaunt their lifestyle.

and i've always wanted to see one that says Dea Ex Machina, as in "goddess in the machine"

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 May 99 - 10:29 PM

Good ones, emily. I forgot the one I have on my car:

Hate is never a fmaily value.

Also, at various other times: My other car is a broom. (So many people thought it meant I was a "domestic engineer"!)

Also, the religious right is neither

The last time we mixed religion and politics...people got burned at the stake

Sorry I missed church..I've been busy practising witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

I'm marching to a different accordion!

Visualize using your tunr signals!

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 05 May 99 - 10:49 PM

Conserve energy: fart in a jar.

That one has gotta stand alone. --seed

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 05 May 99 - 10:50 PM

Conserve energy: fart in a jar.

That one has gotta stand alone. --seed

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Valentine (inactive)
Date: 05 May 99 - 10:59 PM

Once I saw

"Beer -- it's not just for breakfast any more!"

Valentine

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: John Hindsill
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:04 PM

CLINTON/GORE it's so funny I could cry

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: campfire
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:05 PM

Of course there's

Bad Cop/No Donut

One of my favorites, although its not funny:

If you can't trust me with a CHOICE How can you trust me with a CHILD?

and

Keep Your Laws Off My Body!

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Bill L
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:14 PM

On a pick-up truck in OK "For whom the bull toils"

Earth Love it or Leave it

Jesus Saves but Phil Espisito Knocks in the Rebound

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: maw-in-law
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:47 PM

Life is a Cabernet

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: o'hanrahan
Date: 05 May 99 - 11:48 PM

In the seventies i bought "Impeach the Cox Sacker" referring to Tricky Dicky's firing of special prosecuter Archibald Cox. Wish i still had it.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 06 May 99 - 12:22 AM

Someone in Hartford had a bumper sticker that read: "Sing a Traditional Song!" Pete Seeger observed that it ought to have read: "Sing a GOOD Song."

Sandy

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: ddw in windsor
Date: 06 May 99 - 01:16 AM

My kids gave me one that says "Born OK the first time."

There used to be an old beater running around town with a bumper sticker that said: I used to be disgusted; now I'm just amused.

And a car with a vanity plate that was BAD - PRN. My nurse wife finally explained it to me; PRN is medical jargon for "when necessary"

Kat... Loved your "God was my copilot. I'll have to see if I can find that one...

cheers all....

ddw

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: McMusic
Date: 06 May 99 - 02:17 AM

Speaking of Tricky Dick. I remember another bumper sticker: "BEHIND EVERY WATERGATE IS A MILHOUS". Loved it then, love it now.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 06 May 99 - 03:27 AM

Allan's post reminds me of a t-shirt slogan that's popular over here: "It's not a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine". Shame I don't have the build for it!

Steve

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 06 May 99 - 05:59 AM

Epoxy can be cured.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Banjer
Date: 06 May 99 - 06:30 AM

My kid beat up your honor student...

Here in the south there a whole slew of bumper stickers dealing with folks from other parts of the country, I will list some of them if ya'll promise NOT to take offense. I am not posting them to insult or demean any group of folks, simply to serve as an example.

Save the South, teach a Yankee to drive!

We don't care how you did it up north

When I retire, I'm gonna move to Ohio and drive slow in the fast lane

Welcome to Florida, now go home! (That one was popular during the time that the State of Oregon was encouraging folks to visit, but not to move there)

Keep Florida green, bring money!

I never hated my state enough to move away from it

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 May 99 - 08:23 AM

dwditty: go to the link I put in and you can buy the god copilot one, as far as I know, at Northen Sun Merchandising.

They also have one that says:I dont't care if he's dead...I still want to impeach Nixon!

and: Subvert the dominant paradigm

Respect Life...Don't murder doctors

Mall*Wart...Your source for cheap plastic crap

Go is too big to fit in one religion

Get a pastlife, too

I'm so homophobic I can't even touch myself

There they go...I must hurry after them for I am their leader

For Sandy and 'Spaw: FIGHT PRIME TIME - READ A BOOK

It's time for another magical mystery tour

Condoms are easier to change than diapers

Politicians and diapers need to be changed....often for the same reason

Will be President for Sex

We're revolting!

Come the rapture...can I have your car?

This one you have to visualize with a picture fram around it: Eve was framed

Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you from your car (sorry if this is a repeat!)

HELL...it's not the heat...it's the humidity

Ageism will catch up to you

Treehugging Dirt Worshipper

Where are we going...and why am I in this handbasket?

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN BUMPERSTICKERS!

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Tony Burns
Date: 06 May 99 - 08:32 AM

We don't inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Big Mick
Date: 06 May 99 - 08:44 AM

Don't Californicate Oregon.

Mick

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 06 May 99 - 08:57 AM

On the back of a panel van (or whatever you call them):

She offered her honour
He honoured her offer
And all the night long it was honour and offer

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: MudGuard
Date: 06 May 99 - 09:19 AM

Shouldn't the "offer" be written with a capital o, i.e. "Offer"? What do you think, Joe?
Andreas

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 06 May 99 - 12:56 PM

My current favorites:

REAL FOLKSINGERS HAVE DAY JOBS

DEFY AUTHORITY....whenever it's permitted

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 06 May 99 - 01:35 PM

My buddy had this on the back of his Subaru Brat:

Warning, I speed up to run over animals.

Another fave

Jesus is coming, and boy is he pissed off.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 May 99 - 04:02 PM

Or, God is coming and is She pissed!

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: John OSh
Date: 06 May 99 - 04:56 PM

My personal favorite is:

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies!

Osh

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: annamill
Date: 06 May 99 - 05:07 PM

Seen on the back of a big winnabago-

We are out spending our children's inheritance.

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Bert
Date: 06 May 99 - 05:15 PM

I love it Kat

Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers!
From: Banjer
Date: 06 May 99 - 05:53 PM

Avenge yourself, live long enough to be a problem for your kids