What if it never happened?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:33 AM

There's a mountain in South Wales called Blorenge. It rhymes with orange. I've been up it. Good job it's not called Blapple then.

In 1979 I ran an 'A' Level biology field trip which included a visit to the Blorenge. About half way up I plunged my walking stick to the bottom of a peat deposit, declaring to the students that the depth to which my stick had penetrated represented ten thousand years of peat growth. I pulled out the stick, to find, much to the amusement of the gathering, that the ferrule was no longer on the end of it. I like to think that my ferrule might, at some point in the distant future, furrow a few palaeontological brows.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: PHJim
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:48 AM

What if Uncle Pen had played the accordion?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:01 AM

...if Bob Dylan were a one hit wonder?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:02 AM

If it rained a lot in California?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:07 AM

What if the Hokey Pokey never was what it's all about.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:54 AM

Actually, Uncle Pen(Pendleton VanDiver) probably did play the accordion, he was a multi-instrumentalist and taught his nephew, Bill Monroe, to play mandolin--his sister, Malissa, was (Bill's mother), and she sang, played fiddle and accordion, so there was certainly one in the house.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:05 AM

I'd never heard of Pendleton Vandriver until now. Tickled mas as Pendleton is an area of Salford and Salford Van Hire is quite well known.

Sorry - Just how my brain works.

What if I didn't hear the old man say John Kananka?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: The Barden of England
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:31 AM

What if the river was narrow, and I managed to stroll across?

John Barden

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:42 AM

My dad was once the shop manager of Burton the Tailors in Pendleton.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:16 AM

What if he let the bottle down?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:21 AM

I think I remember Burtons at Pendleton - Broad Street if I remember rightly. Bugger all there now.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:32 AM

He reckons he measured Stan Ogden for a suit once. Broad Street rings a bell.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 01:17 PM

What if ...somebody knew the trouble I'd seen?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 01:53 PM

:-)

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 02:26 PM

We regularly used to see 'Stan' in the Royal Oak in Pendlebury.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 02:26 PM

I have roller blades, what size of a Buffalo herd are you talking about?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 03:19 PM

When sailing in the doldrums, are you void of answers?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 03:22 PM

On the contrary, on really windy days (or latitudes), do answers abound?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 03:59 PM

This may end up as a double post as it seemed to vanish last time I sent it.

What if the Irish Dance Instruction Book Volume 2 (the arm movements) had never been lost.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 04:35 PM

:-D

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Joe_F
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:22 PM

One thing is certain: If I don't live till I die, whiskey will kill me.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:57 PM

Will Fyffe made his first stage appearance in Gorebridge, a small mining village in Midlothian. What if he'd stayed there?

I belong to Gorebridge
Dear old Gorebridge village
There's nothing the matter with Gorebridge
We just like to rape and pillage

(The locals of Gorebridge, and more particularly its southern end, Arniston, are locally called "Huns". The lairds, the Dundases of Arniston, are in fact descended from Attila the Hun).

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:05 PM

If no one did it better, why did you leave me Carly?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:45 PM

Because you were spying on me.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:05 PM

Could we start over,if changed my name to baby purple?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:09 PM

What if God wasn't one of us (Athiest song).

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:18 PM

Would he have shown me something to make me change my mind had he taken me by the hand and led me through the streets of Bacup?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:25 PM

To Bacup, or nof to Bacup?

Bacup nutters 

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 01:44 AM

Speaking of Bacup, it's this coming Saturday.

What if I didn't dance in the morning?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: BobL
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 01:57 AM

What if it is going to rain some more, some more?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 03:28 AM

That would mean you were in Bacup.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 05:10 AM

So, what if I did see the rain-why do you want to know?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 08:06 AM

It's too late, baby, now it's too late...oh, go on, just another half-hour then...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: frogprince
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 09:19 AM

...if the Sloop John B never made it to Nassau...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 09:27 AM

Kisses are sweet, but sweet wine-yuk.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 10:34 AM

What if I decided to reach my true love across the Tyne using one of the 22 bridges that span it?

What if the passerby in County Down replies to me, "That maid with the nut brown hair? Sure, she's nothing but a trollop!"

What if no one asks me why I've got all this ridiculous green willow draped around my hat?

I'm enjoying this thread, keep 'em coming!

Marje

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Marje
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 10:38 AM

Woops, that Guest was me, cookieless. I am now re-cookied.
Marje

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:09 AM

I like 'em all Marje :-)

What is Sir James the Rose was innocent?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:13 AM

What if there were no such place as Blitherscrum?
What if there were no such place as Ingo?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:17 AM

.....or Gillygillyossenfeffercatsonellabowman -by-the-/Sea?
Or Glockamorra?
Not sure about the spellings, but then, how would you know?......

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:23 AM

....or Nottamun Town?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Outlandish Knight
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:39 AM

What if somebody had remembered to tell me that May Colvin was a dab hand at drowning blokes like me in the sea?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 05:54 AM

What if Mary married the country squire?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 06:21 AM

...and what if the three maidens from the Isle of Wight had a quiet night in front of the telly?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Micca
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 03:31 PM

What if Huntly had done as he was told?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 03:34 PM

Hey Micca - Not seen you in ages! Where have you been hiding?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,ketchdana
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 04:27 PM

If there'd never been an Ireland...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PbrL97LiEw

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 04:34 PM

Sorry, but I could only stand 30 seconds. I am sure someone will love it but not for me :-(

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 04:51 PM

If it were not for Frank Zappa's wise advice, would we now be ignoring where the huskies go, and eating all that yellow snow?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 05:39 PM

Maybe I missed it, but was the electric banana a craze/phase?