BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 12:17 AM

Is the squid still there?

It seems that Nurse Ratched passed away, so the Mudcat Recovery Ward (go through the closet at the side of the bar in the main tavern) might be a friendlier place now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 01:19 AM

the world is a far more bewildering place than it was 13 years ago when this thread started. Life was simpler than - politicians & other folks (of course, I'm not referring to Mudcatters!) just lied as was their occasional want ... now they create alternate realities - all the time.

Lots of gloom & desolation - but buttery crumpets are still around!

I'll have a plate full of lovely buttery crumpets & a seat near the fire

A song to start, sung by former Mudcatter Canberra Chris, with occasional 'Catter Chris Maltby & Dug's brother Peter in the chorus.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:17 AM

Like the Doomsday clock, the weirdness index is rising sharply.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:42 AM

A small tiedyed bat flits around the darkened rafters.

Darkened by all that smoke from legal weeeeeeeeed!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:47 AM

What does legal weed mean? You can have it but can't buy it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 12:39 PM

As Mrrzy has explained elsewhere,
legal weed means
you can buy it, but you may not sell it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 04:12 PM

Eeeeeed
Eeeeed
Eeeed
Eeed
Eed
... go the echoes.

(Legal weed means different things in different places. Not to mention enforcement and legality can be nearly orthogonal.)

The bat takes a crumpet and hangs under the old lady's side table, crunching merrily, and dripping butter up past their eyebrows. A small puddle forms under one ear, sizzling slightly on the hearthstones.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 05:42 PM

that's MY crumpet - I'll need some more - please & thankyou!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Jun 23 - 09:02 AM

Ther smell of newly-baked crumpets wafts from behind the kitchen door...

We're gonna need more butter!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 03:31 AM

Les pieds chauds de l'Africain sont la, petit chauve-souris. Et les crompettes n'existent plus, car la vieille mange seulement les salades. Elle a perdu 50 livres de poids!
Donc, au Taverne, donnez a elle quelques feuilles at un morceau d'oignon cru! Gros bisous et un grand calin a toi Mrrzy!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 11:25 AM

crompettes?

are we talking about the same thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 10:40 PM

If some folks aren't crumpetting I am less sorry I stole one of the old lady's...

Et félicitations! A bas les glucides!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Jun 23 - 09:19 PM

Someone comes in with a fife and drum.

On suivra avec quoi, une musette?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 04:01 AM

I'm increasingly bewildered but I remember my days at the tavern, filling the pool with jello, too old and retired now and Matron won't let me out of the NYCFTTS.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 08:05 PM

maybe an accordion,
from Germany by way of Tex-Mex music.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jul 23 - 04:25 PM

How is the Tavern equipped against climate change and global warning,
I wonder?
I may be sorry I asked . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: NightWing
Date: 10 Jul 23 - 05:43 PM

keberoxu: I had always thought that the Tavern was underwater to begin with. If that's the case, sea level rise shouldn't affect it in the slightest :-)

Say, is the sheet music for that "Call to Song" that Sandra in Sydney posted the link to available anywhere. It's marvelous!!!

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 23 - 09:00 AM

The bat is buffeted.

Chicago is windy *and* has great restaurants!

Bwahaha!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 23 - 09:23 AM

Admiral Spongebob and General Patrick drift into the back room where the poker games happen. Donuel sticks his ear on the door and hears...

Look at the advantages Patrick, no more veteran suicides, no more PTSD for our boys...

But AI warfare is not approved by Congress and...

Screw Congress, this is a matter of National security and China is probably ahead of us and could share with Russia. We can't have an AI GAP! Make project AK (Autonomous Kill) go full speed ahead. Every war begins by using the last war's weapons and strategy and then we finally get to test our new stuff, This Ukraine war is an ideal battleground to wage our first false flag AI war.

I suggest we misdirect by advertising the use of our outdated weapons like cluster bombs.

Good thinking, we have to keep this move - eyes only.

Once you do this you can't interrupt AI strategy which may be totally alien to anything we would do. Aborting the mission won't be an option anymore.

Bullshit, don't talk about pulling the plug before we even begin.

Yes sir.

Remember our deep underwater cover, don't call me sir.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jul 23 - 02:18 PM

Or Shirley.

Time-traveled to Michigan to buy legal weed and got back to Indiana before the dispensary opened! Bats sure can fly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jul 23 - 09:34 AM

How are things in the Tavern? iT's been almost a week.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jul 23 - 10:57 AM

Bewildering!

I bewandered inn...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 02:31 PM

Excuse me, I know I look weird, but I'm going to look around, as I approach the bar. It's been a moment or three since I crossed the threshold, and the faces blinking away the sunlight locked away behind the door.

"Close that farking thing! You're letting all the cool air out!" says some grumpy old git in the corner, nursing a glass of whiskey, his elbows pushing into the oak table top. He lifts his glass, and pours the contents in his mouth, his throat pulsating as he swallows. Then, he smiles "Good to see you, 'Gin!" Then, he smiles as he fades in the shadowed darkness, the condensation slides down the chilled glass, encircling the base. But he's gone.

"You, too, old friend. You too." I whisper, as the barman asks me what I want. "Oh I'll take whatever beer you have that tastes like rotten socks that have been sprayed by a skunk, and some Tears."

The barman smiles and pours my IPA, and a shot of Writer's Tears. He sets them on the rubber mat in front of us, and I give him my card. Yeah keep it open, please. I kinda want to get piss drunk tonight.

I take my drinks to a quiet table, out of the way, to people watch and work.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 05:56 PM

The bat tells this joke, but no human could hear it:

erner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. As they get inside, Heisenberg looks around and then comments, "You know, there are three of us. And we're in a bar! This must be a joke! The question is, is it funny?"

Gödel gives him a scornful look and says, "We can't tell whether it's funny or not: we're inside it."

Chomsky chuckles and says, "Of course, it's funny. You're just telling it wrong!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 06:00 PM

I'm surprised the barman responded so quickly but every else sounds realistic.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Jul 23 - 07:33 AM

The barman watches someone pour beer down the back of someone's trousers, turning a blind eye.

The rest of the rotisserie looks good...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Jul 23 - 06:39 PM

Anybody else bewitched bothered or bewildered?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jul 23 - 08:14 AM

The bartender is twitterpated.

All three sisters are larryconpooped.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 29 Jul 23 - 05:28 PM

A small kitten insinuates himself into the bar, and proceeds to use the flies for target practice.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Jul 23 - 06:04 PM

There's a full moon tomorrow night, folks,
if you weren't bewildered enough already.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Jul 23 - 10:00 PM

Flies? What flies? The bat is embarrassed. Oh, wait, never mind. Fruit bat. Relieved, the little bat leaves a small spot of guano behind, beside the hearth, and flies off, silhouetted by that first full moon of the month. The next one will be blue, like the Danube, digresses the bat, getting thinner despite being indefatigable.

A house elf whizzes the guano away. Now there is a puddle, but it evaporates immediately thanks to the cackling fire.

A random witch cackles in harmony, which takes some doing. A haphazard hippie, at variable intervals, is throwing some of those pinecones-that-burn-in-pretty-trippy-colors into the flames, and the witch's cackling is, synesthetically in harmony with the color changes too, which takes even more doing. Not to mention some perceiving.

Percival is impressed, as is the horse he rode in on.

Love the Tavern! warbles the bat to the tune of Sound the Pibroch (patchy fog, fog, fog was the wether report, given sheepishly by the baaat upon reentry through the window).

Meanwhile, on the tower, the gory variable ratio has been patiently waiting its turn for the conditioner...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Jul 23 - 08:17 AM

Someone walked in the front and said "This statement is false" and promptly dematerialized. I could not tell who it was.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Jul 23 - 04:12 PM

Neither could they.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 01 Aug 23 - 05:36 AM

Puck appears, says "I'll put a Gödel round the Earth in forty minutes," and promptly vanishes in a puff of illogic.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Aug 23 - 08:02 AM

Escher and his collie exit the kitchen... I'll be Bach, he quips.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Aug 23 - 08:30 AM

I wonder if Senoufou and the smiling African
are on the premises?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Aug 23 - 05:52 PM

The bat squeaks I have felt his warm feet!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 23 - 07:40 PM

Stilly drifts into the room, carrying several dusty books

Did anyone know that there's a room over the Recovery Ward? Head through the kitchen and right before the back door there's a tall cupboard door - it opens to stairs that wind around to above the ward where Nurse Ratched used to tend ill Mudcatters. It's a library! Not very big, but full of amazing old books. The squid has never been up there but I can see where the ducks and bats have come and gone.

I think Rapparee may have also been there, and Amos left some scribbles of verse on a flip chart.   

Amergin, thanks for using your card - but I think Bert's card is still the one that the bartender uses. Has been for years.

Picks up books and heads to a comfortable chair in the corner where the old jello pit used to stand (now it's out on the porch leaning on it's side waiting to be patched and painted).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 09:10 AM

The bat will stop repeatedly flying head-first into the brick wall soon. Squeak squeakiddy, squeak squeak, quotes the short-order cook.

Something slides down the spiral staircase banister from somewhere, slithering scratchily. All literati remember that library with fondness, and one with an indescribable hat starts making things up...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 06:21 PM

Oh, the Mudcat Tavern has a library! I might show up for that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 08:31 PM

Anybody recognize the Gollux? wonders the bat, who's gotten into the mead again. Mildly (that's bat for Wildly... remember, upside down?), and with a mildly (really mildly) bruised nose, they flit back to the rafters, wishing for crumpets, and some sockless feet.

Guano happens...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 09:54 PM

MMario used to do some great grilling (auroch) and lots of smoked meats and sausages were served up from the Tavern kitchen and the grill out back. What's cooking these days? Any baking?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Senoufou
Date: 10 Aug 23 - 03:45 AM

The door opens slowly and in steps a rather thin old lady and a black chap with a large pot belly. "Crumpets?? No thank you! I'm slimming!" she says. The African man asks, "Any MacDonalds here? Or a huge plate of curried chicken with piles of cous-cous?"
The dear little bat smiles and settles on his feet.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Aug 23 - 04:21 PM

Today, I'll just be here sitting in the corner, people watching as I drink a glass of Tears, and maybe the some cider to follow it down. Today is 11th August, my grampa's birthday. So I'm not so much in the mood to party, but to smoke weed and drink to numb the loss, and watch the memories float in the glass.

Like that time he was driving a log truck, shortly before he retired. We were riding up from Amboy, Washington to Tacoma, on the back country roads. I was on winter break from my seventh grade year. That night, we were due to head up to Spokane and then to our hometown in the North Idaho panhandle.

It was the only time I ever rode in a semi, and I was enjoying it, watching the countryside and listening to him tell me stories about his siblings, most of whom were already gone at that point. He was the youngest of thirteen, and survived them all.

Anyway, we entered the land of the perpetual stench, Dairy Country. We drove by one, and and elbowed me. He pointed at the farm and said, that's a cowshit factory.

I looked at him stunned for a moment, because at 13, this was the first time I ever heard my Mormon grandfather curse, especially to me. Later, I realised he treated me like an adult for the first time, like here I was a young teen growing up.

The following summer, I when I returned home for another school break, he taught me to shoot.

I am sorry for being a killjoy. The scar is still fresh. He and gramma were married for 74 years when she died. He loved her more than anything, and more than anything he wanted to join her. When the family told him it was ok, he went.

Happy birthday, old man.


My Grandfather’s Ring

I wear his ring.

It’s not the one he wore
for seventy four years.

       That one’s worn through.

But I can feel his blue eyes
wrapped in the diamond
woven between golden layers

when I twist it
on my finger.

© Nathan Tompkins

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Aug 23 - 07:17 PM

Luvly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Aug 23 - 10:44 PM

I grew up a county or two north of you, Amergin. Sometimes on weekends we would head up into the Cascades and drive on the dirt logging roads up to some popular overlook, or just to see what was there. In my college years I cruised timber and fought fires on those same roads Monday through Friday, with our Forest Service truck pulling hastily into a shoulder pulloff to let a logging truck or a gravel truck past. They always have the right-of-way, especially if they are loaded and headed downhill; ignorance is bliss. If my parents had only known years earlier the drama they were missing by going up on weekends.

SRS walks in with a case of Negra Modelo to celebrate a Friday night, setting it on the bar to share with the assembled guests. The temperature in the Tavern is remarkably comfortable, and without the noisy hum of air conditioning, compared to the outdoors. Ceiling fans waft lazily high above the rooms.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 23 - 08:53 PM

And I walk in carrying two kegs of Moose Drool.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Aug 23 - 05:56 PM

Droose mool!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:33 AM

Who is the joker that put Acacia wood in the fireplace?
Acacia bark is a huge source of DMT a powerful and short-lived hallucinogen.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:47 AM

Mrrzy open the goddamn flue!