BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 02:23 PM

They're bringing some band into the senior apartments where I live called Gary and the Groove. We'd asked for Gory and the Grave. Who's doing the Halloween music in the tavern this year?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 11:02 PM

The Mash in the mosh pit?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 24 - 10:23 AM

The golf greens are white
For it snowed overnight.
Yet there are golfers three
Tho’ it’s Fahrenheit thirty-three,
And it’s going to get worse,
But you should hear how they curse!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Nov 24 - 11:36 AM

Yay! It snew!

What snew with you?

Subject: RE: Songs that mention food
From: GUEST,Mudcat Tavern Local poll worker
Date: 04 Nov 24 - 11:06 AM

Not all sentient beings in the Tavern are allowed to vote, but they have their eyes on the prize: a world in which squid and bats and cats and ducks and whatever that large smelly thing is back in the corner where the Christmas tree usually hangs can cohabit a shape-shifting tavern without a cretin governor in a wheelchair rolling up to stop the music and exchange of mind-altering substances.

The ducks have spearheaded the cache of salad greens, quinoa, and various bugs that usually inhabit the pond in the creek back behind the Tavern parking lot. There is a bear (doesn't come indoors often) that has rounded up lots of blue jeans, surveyor's vests, and Stetson hats as disguises should Tavern clientele need to flee quickly and blend into the woods.

The squid has amassed an ungodly amount of booze. They seem to think that will be most useful for the rest of the week.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 02:01 PM

One of the tavern cats strolls the length of the bar, getting a couple of tail scratches and tugs along the board, and approaches a tall and slim roughly-woven basket standing at the corner near the access to the Recovery Ward and tavern reading room (upstairs). The basket might have been set there by Rapparee when he concluded the recitation of his golfing ditty, then left. Like sewing pins attracted to Rap's wife's magnet, the cat is compelled to lean its head into the side of the basket, all eyes watching as it almost slow-motion topples over. The racket of several dozen multi-colored used golf balls startles everyone in the room as they bounce and then roll in all directions.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 02:37 PM

I was depressed to learn that Severn has unfortunately been diagnosed with asymptomatic Dysarthria.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 05:43 PM

Oxymoron: how can dysarthria be asymptomatic - or have I missed something?
Ok, I confess, I haven't been in the Tavern for a LOOOOONG time!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Nov 24 - 06:38 PM

The bat has never been more bewildered.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Nov 24 - 03:38 AM

nor has the wombat ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Nov 24 - 12:30 PM

So, do we have a wake? The ahemophagous bat is already flitting rather maniacally behind the bar, setting up the not-quite-whipped cream, the not-quite-hot coffee, the various Irish offerings from Jameson to Powers with the Mist on the side, and hot water to preheat the mugs or make hot drinks. There are Long Spoons everywhere, there are clove-studded lemon wheels with the bitter pith removed, someone has sent the cream to Old Bailey where it belongs (man, those B52s have a lot to answer for). The usual (the word Normal almost appeared here, but thought the better of it) bartender is still unconscious, moaning vaguely in a corner.

Actually, there are a lot of people vaguely moaning in various corners, and who can blame them. Some are at the beach, so someone needs to make mai tais and Long Island Iced Tea for that crowd, yeah, let's have a luau too, roast a pig, bonfire, indeed! Ooh, méchoui! Mix our parties right up!

The first Irish Coffee is being brewed, for the bat, by the bat, so that being drunkenly alert for hours, like I think Gil the Arm said, shall not perish from the Tavern.

Who's having the next one? It won't be long, you have to drink it while it's still hot all the way to the bottom, or you can't cuddle yourself into the glass afterwards (well, if you're small enough to do that) till it gets cold. Our bat is willing to skip the cuddling part to make more Irish Coffees. Hot punch is also on offer. Or toddies, if you want some tea salvaged from the harbor, back when reason prevailed...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 24 - 05:44 PM

Over in a topologically irrelevant corner the Cricketbat is rubbing its forelegs together, making a sound like someone scratching their head.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Nov 24 - 01:06 PM

Ahoy there, fellow chiropter, have a drink! squeaked our bartending (pro tem) bat, relaxing into their native supersonic (to most humans and other beasties) language. We have the cloud of bats who've fled several belfries in bewilderment ahead of you, but what'll it be? You're ahead of the cauldron who will not get served here for a while... such as combativeness, battlers, bloodbathers, and similar unwelcome visitors.

Several folks and a couple of other things in the tavern, having heard nothing but pouring, stirring, clinking and teakettles whistling, wonder vaguely why so many bats suddenly stop flitting about the rafters and start queuing at the bar, but most of them can't bring themselves to care, just yet. Overcome with benumbing, bloody, billowing, completely understandable and thus oxymoronic bewilderment, they can't even. (And who can blame them.) The few that do split into 10 groups, one who queues up also, and the other who knows binary. Free drinks for that one.

One additional mostly unheard squeak specifies, The vampire bats can serve themselves...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 24 - 06:58 PM

Okay, there might be some hankypanky about to go on. The Cricketbat is
"putting the moves" on a Baseballbat.

Of course, there is never any sort of hankypanky in a Mudcat Tavern, so I'm probably wrong.