BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered

Subject: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 07:39 AM

It's that time of year again...

Many of us are left in total bewilderment regarding certain happenings across the pond (from my side) or across state lines (from the other side) or across the universe (from Chongo's side), so here's a place to chill, hang, and other things ending with out, all on Bert's card.

The place has been de-loused, de-furred, de-scaled and de-corated, the sign saying 'wet paint' is an observation and a warning, not an instruction. The decks have been swabbed (cultures are being examined in the lab as I type), the bar polished, the barbeque scoured, the chairs reupholstered (I went for wipe clean leather) and the beams dusted (for prints if nothing else). Even the squid was put through the car wash.

So come on in, pull up a chair, pour a drink and make mine a large one please, the anti-biotics have finished and I still feel like crud!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 08:33 AM

Dear Liz
you are a light in the darkness my friend ... I will have a diet coke please

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 10:18 AM

Well, what a find. Go out walking and who knows what one comes upon.

I'll have something a bit stronger. I would like to say that I'll take a stinger- light on the creme de mint - but I discovered after a long absence that a stinger is a serious drinker's drink so I'll have just a nice glass of cabernet instead.

(Settles into a deep, cushiony chair, satisfied)

So how is everyone? Anybody here who went to the Getaway?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 10:37 AM

No, I think we're all Getaway Absentees in here. It's too early in the morning for me to think about alcohol, so make mine a big cup of Wicked Joe's Wicked Chocolate coffee, lots of cream and a little sugar.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 11:48 AM

I got up at 5:30 AM, to catch a flight home, and now I am home,and it's about 5 PM, it doesn't feel like it's the same day.
Going to see Andy Irvine tonight, so just a beer shandy for the moment.
Thanks Bert!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 01:03 PM

Sounds good, John Mac, but what comprises a 'beer shandy'? I've heard it many times but I still don't know.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:01 PM

If we combine the Mudcat Tavern with the Mudcat Recovery Ward

I propose
Intravenous Inebriation

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Will Fly
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:14 PM

I'm just back from my "local" - where I've consumed a pint of bitter (Fuller's 'London Pride') and several shots of Mount Gay Rum in the 'Old Gits' Corner. So, I'm in a mellow mood and happy to join the company here. I bring with me a bottle of Alnwick Rum - blended in the ancient Northumbrian market town of Alnwick - and I commend it to you all. It warms, it pleases, it makes one happily and gently feathered.

Cheers, dear hearts!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:22 PM

"This is a funny sort of launderette. I can't see any washing machines."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:33 PM

Beer and clear lemonade 50/50 Ebbie.

Also very nice to use ginger beer instead of lemonade.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: open mike
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:49 PM

I wish I had a picture the shirt i made for a fire victims' benefit 2 years ago it said "How to get from bewilder to re-builder"   I am still trying to figure out how.....so if this place is for the bewildered, i represent that!!

meanwhile, as i posted recently on my facebook page,
when life gives you lemons, insist on salt and tequila!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 03:16 PM

That's what UKers call "lemonade" not what USAians (or Lemonade Lady) call "lemonade".

So wehre is the said tavern?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 03:20 PM

Two steps forward, one step backward, three steps to the side... wait, no... that's how you get out.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 03:26 PM

How much have you had to drink Richard... You are in it...

There are no absolutes in life... only vodka.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 03:47 PM

Oh. There used to be something on the mudcat entry pages referring tot he mudcat Tavern, and I thought there might ahve been a spinoff.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 06:02 PM

Just keep an eye out to your left Richard, the squid pit is still a bit tacky....







Well what else would you call pink plastic flamingoes on an orange artificial lawn? Has Sins been decluttering her garage again?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 11:00 PM

Hi! I'm just back from Getaway and I want to start the 12 Step Program.

Poteen, for the first step. And I'll squeeze from Sterno for the second.

Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:48 AM

Just back from the Getaway and not sure if I belong here or in the Recovery Ward.
Here I can share that due to a luggage snafu of my own creating, I arrived without luggage and survived on borrowed undies.
If I win the lottery I promise you will have your chance Miss Lizzie. Though I am not sure that THEgsgw IS UP TO THE CHALLENG, dAMN cAPSLOCK.aLICE IS STRUTTING ON THE KEYBOARD.
mORE TOMORROW.
sins

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 02:38 AM

You can double my last double double, if it's not toil or trouble. Too bad that you sanded half the flavoring off the grill but it should come back in a week or two.

Just learned that there is a place (a town?) in California named "Starfleet". I gotta go check it out but if there is such a town, it WOULD be in California.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 02:49 AM

OK, there is and there isn't. It's not worth the search. However there is a place called Orris that really is and isn't. You'll find it on most maps of California but that's the only place you'll find it. Why do I bring that up here? Do you know how hard it was to find THIS PLACE? Well, it's not like "Nowhere" Arizona on the stretch between Kingman and Phoenix.

Therefore, and in conclusion, I've been to Nowhere but not Starfleet. I've been to Orris but it was NOWHERE. I'm here now as in "Be Here NOW" (wasn't that by Baba Rham Das?) with my double double double, reading my copy of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes. Night All

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 08:16 AM

Now I'm so bewildered I can't remember where I left the jello delivery tanker.

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 08:38 AM

It usually falls to me to call for and set up the recliners for those who like a good long sit in the Tavern, and I'm too busy this year for recliners myself... but here they are for those who want them:

\=_
\=_
\=_
\=_

Better not set 'em too close-- they're breeder stock.

Somebuddy with time for HTML pretties might want to paint them in color; I was thinking of our dear Alison whose name Sir Mick the Big always paints in multicolor. AKA particolor... so for party-colors..... you get the picture. A nod to her in her troubles.

As for me, Liz, just a quick, strong cuppa to take on my scooter (I call her Sugar Dog)... and if the Jello Pit becomes ADA compliant I'll be back when I can. :~)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 08:55 AM

Can you give me the root to Orris?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 11:50 AM

I don't know Orris but I know Orvis, best fishin poles ever !!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:41 PM

Hardy's of Alnwick

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:44 PM

Mehead, it spinneth.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 01:14 PM

Ebbie - I missed you!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 01:33 PM

Leo, I missed you too! sob

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 02:08 PM

lemmee tell you - there is some incredible young talent coming up...based on what we saw at the FSGW Getaway this weekend; can't wait to see them develop - because they are starting WAY up the scale.....

HEY! Who the HECK has been in my KITCHEN! They've wrecked the seasoning on the grill; my Pink Himalayan sea salt was moved and the Hawaiian Black salt is MISSING!

If the tenderloin of baby brontosaurus is missing from the freezer heads are going to ROLL!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 02:13 PM

Second the motion. As for bewilderment, I have found it absolutely confuzzling to land amongst people who do not sing and who talk about "product lines" and "human resources" instead of people making things, and especially instead of peeople making music. I am reminded of the look of bewilderment on DOrothy's face when she came out of her house after it landed, and found herself surrounded by alien bipeds speaking in strange tongues; her whole mindset was still in Kansas and she couldn't deal with this new reality. mine is still in the Peace cabin listening to Janie do "Shake Sugaree" and Ernie belting out his stuff, and trying to keep up with Jed's amazing instrumental talent. The Munchkins and Gillikins in this other world do not play music--they only download it, and it is in bizarre scales and voicings I cannot understand. Talk about a bridge too far...Anyone seen my ruby slippers?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:02 PM

Mario - wasn't that brontosaurus disguised as chicken that they covered in pineapple and plopped on rice at the Getaway? I thought you had contributed it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:10 PM

Sins-

That could NOT have been baby brontosaurus: If it were, it would have tasted like chicken!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:22 PM

I dunno bruce - the chicken didn't taste like chicken - why should bronto?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:40 PM

Maybe it was gladusaurus!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:54 PM

And you think it was chicken because???

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 05:50 PM

Orris is on the old Ducor Road (Ducor-at one time it was Dutch Corners but got shortened) between the towns of Ducor and Richgrove. The road parallels the Old Porterville highway (65) which was at one time the old Butterfield Stage Coach Road. Google it and check out Google maps and for a real clear picture of it use Google Earth. Of course they ask you if you want to make Airline reservations, hotel accomodations and etc. but... Well, check it out!

I having second thoughts (as I WAS bewildered last night) and can't remember if it was Nowhere AZ or Nothing AZ. Gotta check that one, It's been too many years.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:14 PM

Orris root

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:56 PM

Yup, it was Nothing!

"What did you do today Sheila?"
"Nothing."
"You little hussey!"

I claim the "T" shirt consessions!
"I've seen Nothing!"
"I know Nothing"
"Doing nothing in Nothing"

Take 93 South out of Kingman and see Nothing!
I gotta move. I'm having more fun with Nothing than I am here!

Orris, Sister City to Nothing.

There's nothing in Orris
But something in Nothing.
Are you bewildered yet? Have a drink on me!
It'll cost you Nothing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 07:05 PM

Whatever you say, say Nothing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 07:48 PM

Nothin' ain't nothin' but it's free.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 08:06 PM

Insert 'worth' somewhere in there.


Good to know I'm in the right place.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 10:05 PM

Pausing at in-laws on the way home from the Getaway...glad I found the hidden door into here!

Slept 11 1/2 hours last night, and I wasn't one of the sing-all-night crowd. 3 nights and 2 days of wonderful non-stop music, and the only things that I regret are that I couldn't clone myself so I could hear everything and that the place was teetotal. Gimme a beer, please. On second thought, gimme 2. Then again, just let me have one of those recliners, shove one end of the hose into a keg, and give me the other end. Oh yeah...and a slice of 0f roast bronty, medium rare.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 10:50 PM

Me too -- two kegs. I've been wandering around all day in a fog.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:45 AM

Damnnn!

an infestation

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 04:18 AM

Keep yer gin up, Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 09:49 AM

And pull your giok up, gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 10:47 AM

Mario in the kitvhen:
"I've got plenty of nothin' and nothin's plenty for me..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 01:55 PM

I am befuddled. Can I stay anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:20 PM

Bewitched, befuddled and bewildered....

Talisker, please. The sun has passed the meridian.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: maeve
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:25 PM

I see a new wing has been built onto the tavern, gnu: Relax in the Mirimichi Lounge.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 04:02 PM

gnu wing? And now this thing flies? Double up that double bubbler. Let Nothing stop us, if it can.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 04:14 PM

SHIT, is that a bed bug!? I thought you said this place was de bugged.
Oh well I guess I'll make lemonade out of the lemons. I'll make a bed bug circus and dress them up in little vampire outfits.

Hey gnu come here, this bug is hungry.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 05:30 PM

Don't bug me. I am bewildered, befuddled, bewitched and bugged out enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 07:36 PM

There is a song in that, anyone remember "bewitched, bothered and bewildered" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 08:17 PM

OD, you and I are gonna remember all those oldies, no doubt! Forget vinyl and acetate. We're headed for the hard wax cylinders. You're making me feel older than I am. Yes, I remember that. Didn't Perry Como do it? Kind of a relaxed jazz number which would have been right up his alley.

I just dropped back in here looking for my pet Wildebeast. She heard there was a gnu around here somewhere and was looking for an introduction. She must be in the "B" lounge, I'll check there next. She kinda fits right in here. Agnus where are yououou? Did you ever notice there's a gnu in Agnus??

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 08:22 PM

Slag he did, but there is a great version out by Rod Stewart .. no kidding the rocker did a CD of these old tunes and got an Emmy for it.
But yup I remember Perry doing it for sure. At 57 I spent a lot of time with my dad and grandpa, they loved music ... or something like music in the case of Slim Whitman LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 08:29 PM

Here it is Slag ya gotta here this Rod Stewart and Cher

bewitched bothered and bewildered

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 09:00 PM

JD on the rocks with a twist and put it on Bert's card...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 10:18 PM

Hexed again
ANd vexed again
Thank God I can be
Over-sexed again....


YEah, I remember those days.

Anyone got a Guinness?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 10:59 PM

Bring out your Black-And-Tans
And I'll drink 'em like a man!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 12:57 AM

Old No. 7 straight up please. Yes OD! Haven't heard that in many years. There's a sidebar link with Old Blue Eyes and Patti Label singing it also. Thanks! Here's to ya!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: open mike
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 11:10 AM

This is what I have used orris root for--chewing on the soft wood of the iris root has been known since ages to be soothing and helping the teeth break through....pieces of the root are given to infants to assist in teething ....they also make cookies or crackers cotaining it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 02:53 PM

I really hate to interrupt, but I feel that I must. It appears that perhaps my pet Burmese Python, "Twinkles", has taken leave of his place of restraint. He looks much like the one in the picture, but is considerably longer. I apologize for this, but I was certain he'd continue his lethargic ways after he ate that Volkswagen. Do let me know if you find him.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MMario
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 03:19 PM

Hmmmmmmmmm - python steak....maybe with a nice asian influenced sauce - say lemongrass and thai basil with a hint of chili oil?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 03:22 PM

Snake and pygmy pie?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 03:31 PM

Twinkles must really tip the scales.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 03:37 PM

Ever really eat one, it is like a cross between fish and chicken .. raw is worse but cooked well ok ... maybe ... keep ya alive ..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 10:40 PM

Don't eat Twinkles! Twinkles wouldn't eat you!!

unless he was hungry

.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 03:33 PM

hi

Can I pull up a chair ??

I have got the song Bewitched Bothered & Bewildered by a few people. The Misty Miss Christy, Ella Fitzgerald and a not rto be forgotten version by Mel Torme.

I am bewilderd because I have had some surgery on my left leg and at the moment I have to sit all day with the dang thing up on a stool.

The doc told me that while I am on painkillers I am not to mix them with alcohol....so I take em separately. Nothing too strong just a glass or three of Rioja.

" I'm Wild again beguiled again.........."

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 04:05 PM

"I am not to mix them with alcohol..."

Of course not. Ya can't wash em down with booze. Unless it says, "Take with food."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 04:52 PM

If music be the food of love, drink up!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 05:10 PM

Mike
well just take it easy bro until that wheel of your heals up OK
and have a drink with us

Dan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 05:28 PM

DId I say what sort of bug had been de-bugged?

Seems the good old FBI were trying to locate a salt water taffy smuggler and had narrowed the search down to to Nowhere, where they got a tip off from an angry cephalopod... he made a deal with them (squid pro quo?) and as a result is now in the Witless protection programme somewhere in Arizona.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 05:52 PM

So THAT'S why Twinkles is in the Jell-O pit!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 06:22 PM

Here's the sick squid I owe you, Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 10:56 PM

Put him in the Jell-O pit with Twinkles.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 07:36 AM

Thanks John, but where's the other £113,019,920?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 07:53 AM

I haven't finished using it yet!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 10:01 AM

hi Dan

Thanks for the kind thoughts. The leg is responding well and the doc says that I can move about a little today.

Lifting my glass to you....

Cheers

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 02:19 PM

With your FOOT????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 06:33 PM

I am beguiled.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 11:54 AM

hi rapaire

Yes with my foot.....I am ambi-dexterous....lol

But I only drink four inches.....lol

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 12:37 PM

Well today it is Welch's Grape Juice ... LOL Ok ok I will put it in a dirty glass if that makes ya happy

Mike heal up quick my friend, no soccer ok until it heals ...

did someone mention ... ahhhh can't even say the word ... ahhh J-e -l- L- O .. hell .... no no no no

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: framus
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 01:23 PM

I'm new here so forgive my niavete. Is there a branch in Belfast, or is it just totally ubiquitous?
Nice to spot a pedant like Ebbie _ I'll try and join in where possible.
Meanwhile, back to the cider and the G & T. I've got my very own recliner, so you can all sit tight - or getting tight.
Bye now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 03:27 PM

Twinkles and the squid seem to be getting along nicely. From the pit"
"SSSSSSWonderful
SSSSSSSSSSSMarvelousssssssssssssssssssssssss
That you sssssssshould care
For me.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssawfully nice
it's SSSSSWeet as sssssssssssssspice
GLUGGLUGGLUG
burp"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 03:56 PM

How about a little gentle music from my brother Bruce Murdoch to go with out tea or coffee or stronger stuff
fool like me

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 06:26 PM

Just got back from Thanksgiving dinner. I'll have a Zantac and a Turkey Turd Beer to wash it down, please. The only things served without marg in/on them were the overly spicey dressing (stuffing), turkey, coleslaw and cheesecake. I couldn't even think about eating the cheesecake as my atreies were aching at the thought of all the fat and oil. And the spuds also had homogenized milk added. I didn't eat much but... ooooo me guts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 07:34 AM

Framus - the Tavern is ubiquitous and has many entries and exits in many parts of the world. There is only one jello pit though. You could come in from Belfast, leave by the same door and find yourself in Albuquerque. Don't take the left turn unless you want to get a face full of New Mexico thrown at you by the wind.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 01:01 AM

I'm tired tonight so I came in for some relaxation and maybe some music. I had lots of music last night when Red Molly played in Juneau but it created a need for more. So, sit up, everbuddy and grab an instrument- or heck, it might be even better if you just stand up and belt or croon as the force strikes you.

Music! Please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 04:27 AM

I shall sing, the Indigestion Shanty for gnu, I'll do the Jane Fonda workout version, so he can really 'feel the burn'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 04:55 AM

It was then that the stranger walked in and a hush fell over those present. He walked up to the bar and said "I'll have a bottle of whatever the neon glow gives." So, well you know 'cause you were there! The 'keep sets a solid bottle before him, so cold the steam is risng from its sides and if you were standing close enough you could here the little "pings" of ice forming and then snaping off the amber glass.

"And a xenon chaser" he says "at about 161.4 Kelvin, please." Well, we knew right then.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 09:06 AM

Musta bin Max Spiegel, he's a cool guy :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 09:20 AM

hi Dan

Leg healing great. Went out for a walk today with no problems. The weather here is beautiful. for walking. Bright warm October sun and the Autumn trees are resplendent in their rainbow range of colours.

Must be a song there somewhere......!!

Soccer is out for me these days except for watching. Tonight on TV we have England v Montenegro in the Europeam qualifiers.

cheers

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jun 23 - 10:46 PM

I was looking for a bar so I put Tavern in the search one, boy that brought up some fun stuff, but this seemed the best thread to reopen.

Bewilderment.

Whether in his best threads or not, Tom Lehrer mentions the Massachusetts State Home For The Bewildered once (well, he mentions it again every time I listen to whichever open that is)... but I digress.

(Yes, another Tom Lehrer reference.)

So, who's up for some random mayhem? Draco may have better Irish coffee --or was that the barkeep with the 4th profession?-- but ain't noplace in Known Space, 10 Forward, or intergalactic space dive long ago and far away that's got a giant squid, warm Ivorian feet, crumpets, *that* old lady, an Oxford comma, nor a nonbinary bat.

That I know of.

On y va?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jun 23 - 11:58 PM

Wonderful to see some posts from Mudcat's dearly departed. Thanks, Mrrzy.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 04:35 AM

Hm .... This looks familiar .... Grab the batteries, then it's three steps, but I can only remember the last one was UP ....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 06:35 AM

I’m bewildered - I haven’t a clue what you lot are on about…

Subject: RE: Sandwiched smotherd and Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 11:44 AM

Not Old Dude too?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 01:17 PM

I would have something to say if I weren't so bewildered . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 09:51 PM

I can give ya 3 steps, give ya 3 ateps mister, give you 3 steps towards the trapdoor with a squid under it...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 12:17 AM

Is the squid still there?

It seems that Nurse Ratched passed away, so the Mudcat Recovery Ward (go through the closet at the side of the bar in the main tavern) might be a friendlier place now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 01:19 AM

the world is a far more bewildering place than it was 13 years ago when this thread started. Life was simpler than - politicians & other folks (of course, I'm not referring to Mudcatters!) just lied as was their occasional want ... now they create alternate realities - all the time.

Lots of gloom & desolation - but buttery crumpets are still around!

I'll have a plate full of lovely buttery crumpets & a seat near the fire

A song to start, sung by former Mudcatter Canberra Chris, with occasional 'Catter Chris Maltby & Dug's brother Peter in the chorus.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:17 AM

Like the Doomsday clock, the weirdness index is rising sharply.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:42 AM

A small tiedyed bat flits around the darkened rafters.

Darkened by all that smoke from legal weeeeeeeeed!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:47 AM

What does legal weed mean? You can have it but can't buy it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 12:39 PM

As Mrrzy has explained elsewhere,
legal weed means
you can buy it, but you may not sell it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 04:12 PM

Eeeeeed
Eeeeed
Eeeed
Eeed
Eed
... go the echoes.

(Legal weed means different things in different places. Not to mention enforcement and legality can be nearly orthogonal.)

The bat takes a crumpet and hangs under the old lady's side table, crunching merrily, and dripping butter up past their eyebrows. A small puddle forms under one ear, sizzling slightly on the hearthstones.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 05:42 PM

that's MY crumpet - I'll need some more - please & thankyou!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Jun 23 - 09:02 AM

Ther smell of newly-baked crumpets wafts from behind the kitchen door...

We're gonna need more butter!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 03:31 AM

Les pieds chauds de l'Africain sont la, petit chauve-souris. Et les crompettes n'existent plus, car la vieille mange seulement les salades. Elle a perdu 50 livres de poids!
Donc, au Taverne, donnez a elle quelques feuilles at un morceau d'oignon cru! Gros bisous et un grand calin a toi Mrrzy!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 11:25 AM

crompettes?

are we talking about the same thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 10:40 PM

If some folks aren't crumpetting I am less sorry I stole one of the old lady's...

Et félicitations! A bas les glucides!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Jun 23 - 09:19 PM

Someone comes in with a fife and drum.

On suivra avec quoi, une musette?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 04:01 AM

I'm increasingly bewildered but I remember my days at the tavern, filling the pool with jello, too old and retired now and Matron won't let me out of the NYCFTTS.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 08:05 PM

maybe an accordion,
from Germany by way of Tex-Mex music.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jul 23 - 04:25 PM

How is the Tavern equipped against climate change and global warning,
I wonder?
I may be sorry I asked . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: NightWing
Date: 10 Jul 23 - 05:43 PM

keberoxu: I had always thought that the Tavern was underwater to begin with. If that's the case, sea level rise shouldn't affect it in the slightest :-)

Say, is the sheet music for that "Call to Song" that Sandra in Sydney posted the link to available anywhere. It's marvelous!!!

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 23 - 09:00 AM

The bat is buffeted.

Chicago is windy *and* has great restaurants!

Bwahaha!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 23 - 09:23 AM

Admiral Spongebob and General Patrick drift into the back room where the poker games happen. Donuel sticks his ear on the door and hears...

Look at the advantages Patrick, no more veteran suicides, no more PTSD for our boys...

But AI warfare is not approved by Congress and...

Screw Congress, this is a matter of National security and China is probably ahead of us and could share with Russia. We can't have an AI GAP! Make project AK (Autonomous Kill) go full speed ahead. Every war begins by using the last war's weapons and strategy and then we finally get to test our new stuff, This Ukraine war is an ideal battleground to wage our first false flag AI war.

I suggest we misdirect by advertising the use of our outdated weapons like cluster bombs.

Good thinking, we have to keep this move - eyes only.

Once you do this you can't interrupt AI strategy which may be totally alien to anything we would do. Aborting the mission won't be an option anymore.

Bullshit, don't talk about pulling the plug before we even begin.

Yes sir.

Remember our deep underwater cover, don't call me sir.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jul 23 - 02:18 PM

Or Shirley.

Time-traveled to Michigan to buy legal weed and got back to Indiana before the dispensary opened! Bats sure can fly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jul 23 - 09:34 AM

How are things in the Tavern? iT's been almost a week.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jul 23 - 10:57 AM

Bewildering!

I bewandered inn...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 02:31 PM

Excuse me, I know I look weird, but I'm going to look around, as I approach the bar. It's been a moment or three since I crossed the threshold, and the faces blinking away the sunlight locked away behind the door.

"Close that farking thing! You're letting all the cool air out!" says some grumpy old git in the corner, nursing a glass of whiskey, his elbows pushing into the oak table top. He lifts his glass, and pours the contents in his mouth, his throat pulsating as he swallows. Then, he smiles "Good to see you, 'Gin!" Then, he smiles as he fades in the shadowed darkness, the condensation slides down the chilled glass, encircling the base. But he's gone.

"You, too, old friend. You too." I whisper, as the barman asks me what I want. "Oh I'll take whatever beer you have that tastes like rotten socks that have been sprayed by a skunk, and some Tears."

The barman smiles and pours my IPA, and a shot of Writer's Tears. He sets them on the rubber mat in front of us, and I give him my card. Yeah keep it open, please. I kinda want to get piss drunk tonight.

I take my drinks to a quiet table, out of the way, to people watch and work.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 05:56 PM

The bat tells this joke, but no human could hear it:

erner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. As they get inside, Heisenberg looks around and then comments, "You know, there are three of us. And we're in a bar! This must be a joke! The question is, is it funny?"

Gödel gives him a scornful look and says, "We can't tell whether it's funny or not: we're inside it."

Chomsky chuckles and says, "Of course, it's funny. You're just telling it wrong!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 06:00 PM

I'm surprised the barman responded so quickly but every else sounds realistic.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Jul 23 - 07:33 AM

The barman watches someone pour beer down the back of someone's trousers, turning a blind eye.

The rest of the rotisserie looks good...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Jul 23 - 06:39 PM

Anybody else bewitched bothered or bewildered?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jul 23 - 08:14 AM

The bartender is twitterpated.

All three sisters are larryconpooped.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 29 Jul 23 - 05:28 PM

A small kitten insinuates himself into the bar, and proceeds to use the flies for target practice.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Jul 23 - 06:04 PM

There's a full moon tomorrow night, folks,
if you weren't bewildered enough already.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Jul 23 - 10:00 PM

Flies? What flies? The bat is embarrassed. Oh, wait, never mind. Fruit bat. Relieved, the little bat leaves a small spot of guano behind, beside the hearth, and flies off, silhouetted by that first full moon of the month. The next one will be blue, like the Danube, digresses the bat, getting thinner despite being indefatigable.

A house elf whizzes the guano away. Now there is a puddle, but it evaporates immediately thanks to the cackling fire.

A random witch cackles in harmony, which takes some doing. A haphazard hippie, at variable intervals, is throwing some of those pinecones-that-burn-in-pretty-trippy-colors into the flames, and the witch's cackling is, synesthetically in harmony with the color changes too, which takes even more doing. Not to mention some perceiving.

Percival is impressed, as is the horse he rode in on.

Love the Tavern! warbles the bat to the tune of Sound the Pibroch (patchy fog, fog, fog was the wether report, given sheepishly by the baaat upon reentry through the window).

Meanwhile, on the tower, the gory variable ratio has been patiently waiting its turn for the conditioner...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Jul 23 - 08:17 AM

Someone walked in the front and said "This statement is false" and promptly dematerialized. I could not tell who it was.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Jul 23 - 04:12 PM

Neither could they.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 01 Aug 23 - 05:36 AM

Puck appears, says "I'll put a Gödel round the Earth in forty minutes," and promptly vanishes in a puff of illogic.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Aug 23 - 08:02 AM

Escher and his collie exit the kitchen... I'll be Bach, he quips.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Aug 23 - 08:30 AM

I wonder if Senoufou and the smiling African
are on the premises?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Aug 23 - 05:52 PM

The bat squeaks I have felt his warm feet!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 23 - 07:40 PM

Stilly drifts into the room, carrying several dusty books

Did anyone know that there's a room over the Recovery Ward? Head through the kitchen and right before the back door there's a tall cupboard door - it opens to stairs that wind around to above the ward where Nurse Ratched used to tend ill Mudcatters. It's a library! Not very big, but full of amazing old books. The squid has never been up there but I can see where the ducks and bats have come and gone.

I think Rapparee may have also been there, and Amos left some scribbles of verse on a flip chart.   

Amergin, thanks for using your card - but I think Bert's card is still the one that the bartender uses. Has been for years.

Picks up books and heads to a comfortable chair in the corner where the old jello pit used to stand (now it's out on the porch leaning on it's side waiting to be patched and painted).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 09:10 AM

The bat will stop repeatedly flying head-first into the brick wall soon. Squeak squeakiddy, squeak squeak, quotes the short-order cook.

Something slides down the spiral staircase banister from somewhere, slithering scratchily. All literati remember that library with fondness, and one with an indescribable hat starts making things up...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 06:21 PM

Oh, the Mudcat Tavern has a library! I might show up for that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 08:31 PM

Anybody recognize the Gollux? wonders the bat, who's gotten into the mead again. Mildly (that's bat for Wildly... remember, upside down?), and with a mildly (really mildly) bruised nose, they flit back to the rafters, wishing for crumpets, and some sockless feet.

Guano happens...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Aug 23 - 09:54 PM

MMario used to do some great grilling (auroch) and lots of smoked meats and sausages were served up from the Tavern kitchen and the grill out back. What's cooking these days? Any baking?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Senoufou
Date: 10 Aug 23 - 03:45 AM

The door opens slowly and in steps a rather thin old lady and a black chap with a large pot belly. "Crumpets?? No thank you! I'm slimming!" she says. The African man asks, "Any MacDonalds here? Or a huge plate of curried chicken with piles of cous-cous?"
The dear little bat smiles and settles on his feet.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Aug 23 - 04:21 PM

Today, I'll just be here sitting in the corner, people watching as I drink a glass of Tears, and maybe the some cider to follow it down. Today is 11th August, my grampa's birthday. So I'm not so much in the mood to party, but to smoke weed and drink to numb the loss, and watch the memories float in the glass.

Like that time he was driving a log truck, shortly before he retired. We were riding up from Amboy, Washington to Tacoma, on the back country roads. I was on winter break from my seventh grade year. That night, we were due to head up to Spokane and then to our hometown in the North Idaho panhandle.

It was the only time I ever rode in a semi, and I was enjoying it, watching the countryside and listening to him tell me stories about his siblings, most of whom were already gone at that point. He was the youngest of thirteen, and survived them all.

Anyway, we entered the land of the perpetual stench, Dairy Country. We drove by one, and and elbowed me. He pointed at the farm and said, that's a cowshit factory.

I looked at him stunned for a moment, because at 13, this was the first time I ever heard my Mormon grandfather curse, especially to me. Later, I realised he treated me like an adult for the first time, like here I was a young teen growing up.

The following summer, I when I returned home for another school break, he taught me to shoot.

I am sorry for being a killjoy. The scar is still fresh. He and gramma were married for 74 years when she died. He loved her more than anything, and more than anything he wanted to join her. When the family told him it was ok, he went.

Happy birthday, old man.


My Grandfather’s Ring

I wear his ring.

It’s not the one he wore
for seventy four years.

       That one’s worn through.

But I can feel his blue eyes
wrapped in the diamond
woven between golden layers

when I twist it
on my finger.

© Nathan Tompkins

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Aug 23 - 07:17 PM

Luvly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Aug 23 - 10:44 PM

I grew up a county or two north of you, Amergin. Sometimes on weekends we would head up into the Cascades and drive on the dirt logging roads up to some popular overlook, or just to see what was there. In my college years I cruised timber and fought fires on those same roads Monday through Friday, with our Forest Service truck pulling hastily into a shoulder pulloff to let a logging truck or a gravel truck past. They always have the right-of-way, especially if they are loaded and headed downhill; ignorance is bliss. If my parents had only known years earlier the drama they were missing by going up on weekends.

SRS walks in with a case of Negra Modelo to celebrate a Friday night, setting it on the bar to share with the assembled guests. The temperature in the Tavern is remarkably comfortable, and without the noisy hum of air conditioning, compared to the outdoors. Ceiling fans waft lazily high above the rooms.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 23 - 08:53 PM

And I walk in carrying two kegs of Moose Drool.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Aug 23 - 05:56 PM

Droose mool!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:33 AM

Who is the joker that put Acacia wood in the fireplace?
Acacia bark is a huge source of DMT a powerful and short-lived hallucinogen.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:47 AM

Mrrzy open the goddamn flue!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:58 AM

Like sharing a bewildering dream, DMT causes people to see and hear harlequin creatures. Some say Acacia smoke inspired several Bible stories like the Burning Bush.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Sep 23 - 06:26 PM

A frazzled and extremely muddy bat opens the flue.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Sep 23 - 01:23 PM

Well, it tried to. Now there is a brace on its left wing and it is hanging under the bar...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 10 Sep 23 - 05:58 PM

It's been some time since I have dropped by, but then I no longer drive, and I had to have an uber driver friend give me a lift. (No, they don't give Lyfts)......

I see our guardians,Les, the Lawn Moor at the front door and Demi Modo in the bell tower are still on duty, Led keeping watch and Demi Modo keeping clock, and it seems that Les has a secretary taking minutes and our hatchback friend in the tower is sending down to the bar for seconds....

I see a few familiar cars and horses missing but I'll go inside and see who's about...

But first I must check the lobby. I go to my P.O. Box and find a postcard from Defrosty, the retired snowman, and he's given up the snowmadic life and has settled into his retirement igloo in Antarctica with his "Rose Of Snowman's Land" and they be chllin' and sing out a chorus of "Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow" to the assembled multitudes .....

I step into the tavern proper and find......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Sep 23 - 06:23 PM

crumpets??? butter-soaked (drowned!) crumpets????

no - only FREE BEER but I want a crumpet (sniff)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Sep 23 - 06:42 PM

What a great blast from the past 'ITS SEVERN' !
Few of us drive anymore or very much. We teleport or shuttle.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Sep 23 - 09:10 AM

Dr. McCoy was delayed but has a shuttlecraft at your disposal. Just be careful how you ask for rides... after all, he's a doctor, not a limo driver.

He's at the bar now, curmudgeonially crumpetting the bat, who totally sympathizes about them new-fangled ways of transportation.

The barkeep regrets black-marketing off the last of the Andorian ale to that Traveller, even if the bar did benefit from a little time distortion... If Bones is a curmudgeon now, just wait!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 08:49 AM

So, how does this work, leftover pastries get swept into the crumb pit?

I wave to a few people and sit down at an empty bar stool. I see the alligator is still tending bar. Since Mmario is no longer with us to cook, I ask the gator if there's still any of Mmario'a special stock of meat in the freezer and I could still get my traditional favorite of his sandwich specialties, Auroch on Roll. The gator says he will check and goes into the walk-in freezer. I inquire after the Squid, as I have brought him a present, a carton of ultra-rare samples of a test product that never made it to market, Key Lime Jello, for the Jello pit. I don't see any of the squid family, so they must've gone out the back door that leads to the beach......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 09:12 AM

Severn there have been many changes to the virtual and real information reality of Maudcat Tavern perhaps owing to the AI revolution.
For example, Mmario is still the informational cook although his physical avatar is gone. SO are all former catters. Amos is calling Rapaire a plagiarist and Catspaw is swearing a blue streak about Trump.
Since AI has replaced most politicians with avatars or sentient lime jello. The zoning board has condemned Mauledcat Tavern so it only remains open as a secret speakeasy. Modcat Tavern is an ever-evolving and changing consciousness.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 09:19 AM

The bat, replete and crumb-covered, crab-walks out into the beach. Waiting for that wing to heal, they stretch out in the blazing sunlight on the hot, hot sand, and bask.

A basilisk keeps its eyes closed, politely.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 09:28 AM

So someone bring me up to date. Who has taken over for Mmario as chef?

Are the squidlets still around, or have they grown up enough to go out on their own, and if so, are Mr. & Mrs. Squid contemplating a new brood? I guess I will have to wait until a Squid comes in from the beach....

Word has it that Nurse Ratched and her lover X-Ray Ted bypassed away while testing out the sexual possibilities of some new equipment down in a basement storeroom.....k

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 10:24 AM

If it is not your experience it is not your truth. This is why truth becomes a never-ending debate. So being up to date is not as important as your information database and intuitive evolution.

Something is happening, what it is we just don't know, so go for it.
Merdecat Tavern is what you make it much like real life.

May your black swan events be few.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 11:06 AM

I do still occupy a bed in the Recovery Ward, but that's a whole other thread on the making. All I'll say is that the romance between myself and Inter-Venus DeMilo, the armless therapy nurse is still on indefinite hold......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 11:27 AM

Good to see you pop in for a visit, Sev! What will you have to drink? I was rustling around in the walk-in freezer, it's like a glacier in there for all of the carcasses meals that MMario cooked and stored back there. I believe we can defrost a few slices of his pit-roasted auroch if you'd fancy a sandwich!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 02:23 PM

Thank you! I will have a Zevia Ginger Ale. Got to be careful with my Diabetes. It's good to see all those who showed up.I have a pinched nerve in my back, so I am walking with my trusty stick these days. Hopefully, the VA horse-spittle will be able to help, but the only person they have that can do the needed work is up in Baltimore rather than Washington DC. After seven years, I'm still involved in doing two shows at WOWD FM community radio out of Takoma Park MD.I am now living in a senior unassisted living apartment building in Rockville Maryland.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 02:57 PM

Thats good and bad news. I Will check out reception,
I'm a big FAN... whoosh

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 08:43 PM

takomaradio.org

Donuel(and anyone else interested)


That's how to get it on your computer. Being a community radio station,it only has a 7 mile footprint for radio, but is streamable worldwide at the above address.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 09:22 AM

The bat has totally forgotten about the Recovery Ward.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 07:29 PM

Guess what? I'm still alive and HEALING (or so the doctor says). I'd like a Talisker straight and one of those auroch sandwiches. I've come along way today (figuratively), missed a lunch, and missed a class on how Hollywood gets dinosaurs wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Sep 23 - 08:43 PM

Rapparee,

Nice to hear you still walk this earth.

I'll buy the next round!

Cheerily,
Charlie Ipcar

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Sep 23 - 10:22 PM

The bat's extraordinary hearing heard that someone was buying a round... and suddenly, back into the bar!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 11:15 PM

Who do we have for entertainment this time out?

Are we staying through Thanksgiving?

This is supposed to be a day of atonement, but I must atone deaf, because I don't seem to hear anybody atoning. A few are feeling sorry for themselves, but that is as close as it seems to get. I blow an A tone on my pitch pipe and say, "Let's have some music!" Some people manager to hit the most unharmonious note I ever heard. Repartee says "Is that A-tonal enough for you?"

I head for the Men's Room, and by the time I come back out someone has put Connie Francis singing, "I'm Sorry" over the sound system, and I step outside and stone for ever bringing subject up......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 11:26 AM

I suspect there will be a Mudcat Tavern outpost at the Getaway over the weekend. Will it be a tent, a bus, or lawn chairs pulled up behind a few parked cars with trunks full of cold brew and other adult beverages. Please report back, Sev!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 12:09 PM

Atone not stone.

I step outside, wave to Les the Lawn Moor and tell him that I am going for a walk in the bewilderness and assure him that I will be careful because the last time I tried to blaze a trail, I almost started a forest fire. A bear in a ranger hat stomped it out.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 12:13 PM

There's a chance of actually making the Getaway. Then there's a chance of getting lost,too.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 01:06 PM

The Getaway is a Methodist camp... so no alcohol "allowed". ;>)
But lots of Gazebo sitting and lawn lounging..(right now the forecast is good!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 05:33 PM

I am definitely not the bat who flies by my bewild lone.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 30 Sep 23 - 09:53 PM

Back at the tavern,I had overheard someone talking about their quartet needing a good bass singer. In the middle of the bewilderness, just this side of being lost, I hear a lovely bass voice booming out of forest. I think to myself, "That is exactly what they need!" , so I'm hurry through the dense woods toward where the voice was coming from, and when I reach a clearing in a hollow, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but........p

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 05:22 AM

A small pool with a singing fish in in the centre.

Yes! it's a Bass.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 08:06 AM

There are singing fish as real as singing whales. At the foundation of everything one can not tell anyone anything.
You have to have the experience. Then you begin to know.

Telling people the absolute hyper truth amounts to foolish questions about sanity or just enjoying an unlikely interesting story. But have the experience...and the reality of the ineffable is known!

Most of us are far more than an occupation and family member.
We are parts of our entire evolutionary voyage and the whole universe.
There are people out there who will only know sightseeing and fancy recipes but will not experience much beyond that. There is an experience beyond rational thinking that is closed to some people until they die. What is more sad than that? A squid inside lime jello? (a creature that goes backward its entire life in an unforgiving green medium that prevents movement)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 05:36 PM

I suppose that the squid will have the same view of time as Terry Pratchets trolls: that it runs in reverse.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 09:10 PM

Crivens!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 23 - 11:25 AM

a little knowledge is not half as dangerous as alot of ignorance

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 01:06 PM

The Getaway is a Methodist camp... so no alcohol "allowed". ;>)
But lots of Gazebo sitting and lawn lounging..(right now the forecast is good!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Sep 23 - 06:26 PM

A frazzled and extremely muddy bat opens the flue.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Sep 23 - 01:23 PM

Well, it tried to. Now there is a brace on its left wing and it is hanging under the bar...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Sep 23 - 09:10 AM

Dr. McCoy was delayed but has a shuttlecraft at your disposal. Just be careful how you ask for rides... after all, he's a doctor, not a limo driver.

He's at the bar now, curmudgeonially crumpetting the bat, who totally sympathizes about them new-fangled ways of transportation.

The barkeep regrets black-marketing off the last of the Andorian ale to that Traveller, even if the bar did benefit from a little time distortion... If Bones is a curmudgeon now, just wait!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 09:19 AM

The bat, replete and crumb-covered, crab-walks out into the beach. Waiting for that wing to heal, they stretch out in the blazing sunlight on the hot, hot sand, and bask.

A basilisk keeps its eyes closed, politely.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 09:22 AM

The bat has totally forgotten about the Recovery Ward.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Sep 23 - 10:22 PM

The bat's extraordinary hearing heard that someone was buying a round... and suddenly, back into the bar!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 05:33 PM

I am definitely not the bat who flies by my bewild lone.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 09:10 PM

Crivens!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Sep 23 - 08:43 PM

Rapparee,

Nice to hear you still walk this earth.

I'll buy the next round!

Cheerily,
Charlie Ipcar

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:33 AM

Who is the joker that put Acacia wood in the fireplace?
Acacia bark is a huge source of DMT a powerful and short-lived hallucinogen.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:47 AM

Mrrzy open the goddamn flue!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 23 - 09:58 AM

Like sharing a bewildering dream, DMT causes people to see and hear harlequin creatures. Some say Acacia smoke inspired several Bible stories like the Burning Bush.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Sep 23 - 06:42 PM

What a great blast from the past 'ITS SEVERN' !
Few of us drive anymore or very much. We teleport or shuttle.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 09:12 AM

Severn there have been many changes to the virtual and real information reality of Maudcat Tavern perhaps owing to the AI revolution.
For example, Mmario is still the informational cook although his physical avatar is gone. SO are all former catters. Amos is calling Rapaire a plagiarist and Catspaw is swearing a blue streak about Trump.
Since AI has replaced most politicians with avatars or sentient lime jello. The zoning board has condemned Mauledcat Tavern so it only remains open as a secret speakeasy. Modcat Tavern is an ever-evolving and changing consciousness.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 10:24 AM

If it is not your experience it is not your truth. This is why truth becomes a never-ending debate. So being up to date is not as important as your information database and intuitive evolution.

Something is happening, what it is we just don't know, so go for it.
Merdecat Tavern is what you make it much like real life.

May your black swan events be few.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 02:57 PM

Thats good and bad news. I Will check out reception,
I'm a big FAN... whoosh

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 08:06 AM

There are singing fish as real as singing whales. At the foundation of everything one can not tell anyone anything.
You have to have the experience. Then you begin to know.

Telling people the absolute hyper truth amounts to foolish questions about sanity or just enjoying an unlikely interesting story. But have the experience...and the reality of the ineffable is known!

Most of us are far more than an occupation and family member.
We are parts of our entire evolutionary voyage and the whole universe.
There are people out there who will only know sightseeing and fancy recipes but will not experience much beyond that. There is an experience beyond rational thinking that is closed to some people until they die. What is more sad than that? A squid inside lime jello? (a creature that goes backward its entire life in an unforgiving green medium that prevents movement)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 23 - 11:25 AM

a little knowledge is not half as dangerous as alot of ignorance

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 11:27 AM

Good to see you pop in for a visit, Sev! What will you have to drink? I was rustling around in the walk-in freezer, it's like a glacier in there for all of the carcasses meals that MMario cooked and stored back there. I believe we can defrost a few slices of his pit-roasted auroch if you'd fancy a sandwich!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 11:26 AM

I suspect there will be a Mudcat Tavern outpost at the Getaway over the weekend. Will it be a tent, a bus, or lawn chairs pulled up behind a few parked cars with trunks full of cold brew and other adult beverages. Please report back, Sev!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Sep 23 - 06:23 PM

crumpets??? butter-soaked (drowned!) crumpets????

no - only FREE BEER but I want a crumpet (sniff)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 07:29 PM

Guess what? I'm still alive and HEALING (or so the doctor says). I'd like a Talisker straight and one of those auroch sandwiches. I've come along way today (figuratively), missed a lunch, and missed a class on how Hollywood gets dinosaurs wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 10 Sep 23 - 05:58 PM

It's been some time since I have dropped by, but then I no longer drive, and I had to have an uber driver friend give me a lift. (No, they don't give Lyfts)......

I see our guardians,Les, the Lawn Moor at the front door and Demi Modo in the bell tower are still on duty, Led keeping watch and Demi Modo keeping clock, and it seems that Les has a secretary taking minutes and our hatchback friend in the tower is sending down to the bar for seconds....

I see a few familiar cars and horses missing but I'll go inside and see who's about...

But first I must check the lobby. I go to my P.O. Box and find a postcard from Defrosty, the retired snowman, and he's given up the snowmadic life and has settled into his retirement igloo in Antarctica with his "Rose Of Snowman's Land" and they be chllin' and sing out a chorus of "Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow" to the assembled multitudes .....

I step into the tavern proper and find......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 08:49 AM

So, how does this work, leftover pastries get swept into the crumb pit?

I wave to a few people and sit down at an empty bar stool. I see the alligator is still tending bar. Since Mmario is no longer with us to cook, I ask the gator if there's still any of Mmario'a special stock of meat in the freezer and I could still get my traditional favorite of his sandwich specialties, Auroch on Roll. The gator says he will check and goes into the walk-in freezer. I inquire after the Squid, as I have brought him a present, a carton of ultra-rare samples of a test product that never made it to market, Key Lime Jello, for the Jello pit. I don't see any of the squid family, so they must've gone out the back door that leads to the beach......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 09:28 AM

So someone bring me up to date. Who has taken over for Mmario as chef?

Are the squidlets still around, or have they grown up enough to go out on their own, and if so, are Mr. & Mrs. Squid contemplating a new brood? I guess I will have to wait until a Squid comes in from the beach....

Word has it that Nurse Ratched and her lover X-Ray Ted bypassed away while testing out the sexual possibilities of some new equipment down in a basement storeroom.....k

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 11:06 AM

I do still occupy a bed in the Recovery Ward, but that's a whole other thread on the making. All I'll say is that the romance between myself and Inter-Venus DeMilo, the armless therapy nurse is still on indefinite hold......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 02:23 PM

Thank you! I will have a Zevia Ginger Ale. Got to be careful with my Diabetes. It's good to see all those who showed up.I have a pinched nerve in my back, so I am walking with my trusty stick these days. Hopefully, the VA horse-spittle will be able to help, but the only person they have that can do the needed work is up in Baltimore rather than Washington DC. After seven years, I'm still involved in doing two shows at WOWD FM community radio out of Takoma Park MD.I am now living in a senior unassisted living apartment building in Rockville Maryland.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 08:43 PM

takomaradio.org

Donuel(and anyone else interested)


That's how to get it on your computer. Being a community radio station,it only has a 7 mile footprint for radio, but is streamable worldwide at the above address.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 11:15 PM

Who do we have for entertainment this time out?

Are we staying through Thanksgiving?

This is supposed to be a day of atonement, but I must atone deaf, because I don't seem to hear anybody atoning. A few are feeling sorry for themselves, but that is as close as it seems to get. I blow an A tone on my pitch pipe and say, "Let's have some music!" Some people manager to hit the most unharmonious note I ever heard. Repartee says "Is that A-tonal enough for you?"

I head for the Men's Room, and by the time I come back out someone has put Connie Francis singing, "I'm Sorry" over the sound system, and I step outside and stone for ever bringing subject up......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 12:09 PM

Atone not stone.

I step outside, wave to Les the Lawn Moor and tell him that I am going for a walk in the bewilderness and assure him that I will be careful because the last time I tried to blaze a trail, I almost started a forest fire. A bear in a ranger hat stomped it out.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 26 Sep 23 - 12:13 PM

There's a chance of actually making the Getaway. Then there's a chance of getting lost,too.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 30 Sep 23 - 09:53 PM

Back at the tavern,I had overheard someone talking about their quartet needing a good bass singer. In the middle of the bewilderness, just this side of being lost, I hear a lovely bass voice booming out of forest. I think to myself, "That is exactly what they need!" , so I'm hurry through the dense woods toward where the voice was coming from, and when I reach a clearing in a hollow, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but........p

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 05:22 AM

A small pool with a singing fish in in the centre.

Yes! it's a Bass.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 01 Oct 23 - 05:36 PM

I suppose that the squid will have the same view of time as Terry Pratchets trolls: that it runs in reverse.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Oct 24 - 09:33 AM

A cobweb slooowly stretches, then breaks as a shutter creaks stealthily open. Wisps blow gently in the entering zephyr, and a shaft of sunlight illuminates clouds of dancing dust motes, newly animated. Seems to the small bat peering in that the room hasn't been visited in nearly a year...

Undaunted, the bat opens the shutters the rest of the way, and starts to flit into the less-darkened Tavern, but a hearty sneeze blows them back towards the window. Grabbing the sill with a hind foot, the bat dangles crazily, sneezing madly, which blows the dust motes and mites into an even more frenetic dance... and someone ( -thing?) else suddenly sneezes!

From behind the bar!

Sounds like from the FLOOR behind the bar!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Oct 24 - 06:36 PM

what is under the bar with the rest of the dead spirits?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 24 - 09:23 PM

What is under the bar? You don't want to know. Really you don't. It is...aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh! it's got me!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Oct 24 - 11:46 PM

Don't worry, it's just Severn's bear in the ranger hat, filling up on old pastries and forgotten stuff from the fridge that someone really should have thrown out. That's one way to clean the Mudcat Tavern fridge.

Starting now all of the dust and cobwebs can be considered Halloween decorations. It looks like a squirrel nest up in the rafters, but maybe it is a cluster of bats sleeping up there?

An old seafoam green former government pickup truck pulls into the parking lot in front of the tavern and honks. A bear appears to be behind the wheel.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Oct 24 - 12:33 AM

I thought it was just a drunk sleeping on top of the empties ...

looks like I was wrong, are you still with us, Rap? or is the pickup collecting them & you?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 24 - 01:40 PM

No. It caught me and devoured me. By the way, the bats in the rafters are vampire bats and they’re all a bit off their face due to the blood alcohol level of the habitues on whom they’ve been feeding.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Oct 24 - 01:55 PM

rap, do we have to wait for the bear to, um, produce you in the woods?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Oct 24 - 04:12 AM

yuk

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 06 Oct 24 - 10:32 AM

Bewildered by the time loops, the bear blunders around, looking for the portal to the woods. The small kitten gets there first, and looks smug.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 07 Oct 24 - 02:31 PM

After aimlessly wandering around after last year, I am glad to relate that stumbled into the Getaway. I wasn't sure if I would make it, but when I did, found I was scheduled to co-lead two workshops, so I was expected. I dropped by to see if anybody was still here.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 24 - 07:35 PM

You're in the right place, Sev.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 08 Oct 24 - 08:14 AM

It still feels like it.

I wave and express greetings with Les and Demi Modo in his tower and check out my mailbox, put the contents into a Trader Joe's bag to read later and walk into the main room to collect such handshakes, hugs and smiles as await me, step up to see the aligator, as it is now actually later, and order a Stevia grape soda to wash down my traditional Auroch-On-Roll sandwich and raise a toast to Mmario.

W walk with a blackthorn walking stick that along with my suspenders provides my visible means of support, as I have a pinched nerve in my back to add to the burns, pacemaker, pains left over from the cancer (now 12 years in remission), diabetes and whatever else I have survived. Everything hurts, but the smile remains with joy behind it.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Oct 24 - 09:47 AM

The bat has just gotten this joke, about a minute after hearing it, and the last of their Irish coffee just spurted out of their not-as-flat-as-a-vampire-bat's nose. That hurt.

Someone asked the barkeep, where did the new glass go?

Nova Scotia, he replied, and ducked.

It was the ducking that made the bat realize they'd missed something, so they ordered an Irish coffee and perched on the bar to indulge in it right-side up.

Once they got their breathing tubes sorted out and the cream out of their nostrils, they ordered another, feeling that the first had not been quite actually drunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Oct 24 - 02:15 PM

This popped up in the news today and begs the question: Just where did MMario source that fine auroch that he always grilled for us in the Mudcat Tavern?

Was time travel involved, are there a bunch still frozen in ice-age glaciers waiting to be processed and served? Or a little sneaky trip to Netherlands and a mislabeled package?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 24 - 08:45 PM

MMario told me, but I have been sworn to eternal secrecy. Suffice to say, the stuff he served us was fresh and never frozen. As Hamlet said, "There are more things on heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Oct 24 - 05:13 PM

Ooh, the smell of roasting auroch! Delightful.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Oct 24 - 07:19 PM

Yes! It is a little bit gamey like venison, but it has enough fat marbled in that it really has great flavor (and is definitely good for Keto diets!)

Years ago my children and I worked together deciding on and making a Secret Santa gift because MMario was our recipient. We made heavy-duty lap quilt (4'x6') of corduroy and flannel for whatever festival travels he might need a really warm cover for. I still think about that gift, and am so sorry that he is gone.

Hmmm. Should we try a Secret Santa exchange again this year? Mudcat Tavern participants might enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 11 Oct 24 - 09:31 PM

Billy The Squid peers through the door from the beach. So far, though the Squid population has as been fed and Mellowed and still tend to take whatever has. Been left around by us humans at Christmas, they have been spending much time away. One tends to wonder if the original Squid couple will have another brood and Billy and the crew who once broke into and raced around the Recovery Hospital in the Old Days, Or will some of the Younger bunch settle down and take over. What is the average lifespan of a Squid, Giant or normal size. How many, if any, have already left and since they don't seem to write postcards like Snowmen, Alligators and some of the other creatures that come and go, what will become of our Squid population? Will we have to enlarge the pool when another generation occurs? Any ideas?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Oct 24 - 09:33 PM

The ahemophagous (like that?) bat drags in a tiny pumpkin, and heaves it with difficulty till it's under the last unoccupied barstool. Then, having flitted up onto the creased magenta velour seat via a quick dip into Rap's drink, they order yet another Irish coffee, and ask for a small paring knife. Looking down the bar, with a whipped cream moutache making them look rather likeca negative of Snidely Whiplash or Boris Badenov (prosopagnisia again) they ask Are ye planning on being Santa for Halloween, then, lassie?
The Irish coffee having disappeared while piping hot, as explained in The Ling Spoon, the bat frops the paring knife carefully point down, flits quickly via Sev's drink to their little pumpkin, and starts planning, devilishly.
In the lomg run, there is a little pumpkin jack-o-lantern on the windwsill (not the one towards the beach, the one to where it's always after dark), lit by a third of a birthday cake candle. It has a welcoming if lopsided grin with snaggly teeth, stellate eyes bursting with laugh lines, and a debonair beret basque.
Now, what costume, hmmmm....

But yeah, Secret Santa, the bat adds over their shoulder, flitting back onto the barstool and ordering s decaf Irish mocha. Didna mean to discourage the idea...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Oct 24 - 09:35 PM

Bats thould proofread, but they don't see that well.

Which is why the blind guy fell down the well. He didn't see that well, either.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Oct 24 - 11:18 AM

Those must be strong drinks, I'm feeling a contact high just from reading the last couple of posts on the computer screen.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Oct 24 - 04:13 PM

(Hah! It's working!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Oct 24 - 08:54 AM

The ahemophagous bat needs a pirate. Any around?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Oct 24 - 01:54 PM

Don't know about pirates,
but it sure is fine to have Severn back at the Tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 24 - 12:50 PM

Severn?! Back? Bah, bumhug! Sev never LEAVES a tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Oct 24 - 11:08 AM

That there bat really needs to talk to that pirate, or to the time-travelers on Sep. 19 today. Also, some lime-green chiffon, or other French rag light enough to flit in...

Will the Tavern understand the costume is another story...

Meanwhile, the bat is nestled into the bottom of their Irish coffee glass like a kitten in a snifter, snoozing in the warmth.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 25 Oct 24 - 02:04 PM

I used to be one, bit now I'm much like Pontius Pirate and have washed my hook of the whole thing. Being diabetic, I just go onto bars for the music......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 25 Oct 24 - 05:43 PM

I d go into pirate bars, since I am diabetic, I can't have my music !too sweet, either. I do know many scurvy ditties, if that helps.They tend to be the old ones,as I don't speak any Somalian....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Oct 24 - 10:54 AM

Gimme an Aaarrrr! I need one!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Oct 24 - 05:08 PM

Aaarrrr

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 24 - 06:01 PM

You'll have to reduce the size or move around the page to see Bats!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 10:00 AM

The vibrations of that roared Arrh! reach the bar, rattling the glasses a smidge…

Ooh, squeaks the bat (supersonically, so nobody notices but the Wombat and the youngest Squidlet), now, my costume can be completed in time for Halloween! Trying desperately to uncork themself from the bottom of that last Irish coffee before the echoes died away, they roll the glass over and flit out just before the ghost of some funky old guy snatches it up an inch from the floor.

Good catch! Says the bartender. I lose a lot of glasses to people not being able to get back out of'm...

Our bat, meanwhile, is chuckling in the rafters.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 02:23 PM

They're bringing some band into the senior apartments where I live called Gary and the Groove. We'd asked for Gory and the Grave. Who's doing the Halloween music in the tavern this year?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 11:02 PM

The Mash in the mosh pit?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 24 - 10:23 AM

The golf greens are white
For it snowed overnight.
Yet there are golfers three
Tho’ it’s Fahrenheit thirty-three,
And it’s going to get worse,
But you should hear how they curse!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Nov 24 - 11:36 AM

Yay! It snew!

What snew with you?

Subject: RE: Songs that mention food
From: GUEST,Mudcat Tavern Local poll worker
Date: 04 Nov 24 - 11:06 AM

Not all sentient beings in the Tavern are allowed to vote, but they have their eyes on the prize: a world in which squid and bats and cats and ducks and whatever that large smelly thing is back in the corner where the Christmas tree usually hangs can cohabit a shape-shifting tavern without a cretin governor in a wheelchair rolling up to stop the music and exchange of mind-altering substances.

The ducks have spearheaded the cache of salad greens, quinoa, and various bugs that usually inhabit the pond in the creek back behind the Tavern parking lot. There is a bear (doesn't come indoors often) that has rounded up lots of blue jeans, surveyor's vests, and Stetson hats as disguises should Tavern clientele need to flee quickly and blend into the woods.

The squid has amassed an ungodly amount of booze. They seem to think that will be most useful for the rest of the week.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 02:01 PM

One of the tavern cats strolls the length of the bar, getting a couple of tail scratches and tugs along the board, and approaches a tall and slim roughly-woven basket standing at the corner near the access to the Recovery Ward and tavern reading room (upstairs). The basket might have been set there by Rapparee when he concluded the recitation of his golfing ditty, then left. Like sewing pins attracted to Rap's wife's magnet, the cat is compelled to lean its head into the side of the basket, all eyes watching as it almost slow-motion topples over. The racket of several dozen multi-colored used golf balls startles everyone in the room as they bounce and then roll in all directions.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 02:37 PM

I was depressed to learn that Severn has unfortunately been diagnosed with asymptomatic Dysarthria.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 05:43 PM

Oxymoron: how can dysarthria be asymptomatic - or have I missed something?
Ok, I confess, I haven't been in the Tavern for a LOOOOONG time!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Nov 24 - 06:38 PM

The bat has never been more bewildered.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Nov 24 - 03:38 AM

nor has the wombat ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Nov 24 - 12:30 PM

So, do we have a wake? The ahemophagous bat is already flitting rather maniacally behind the bar, setting up the not-quite-whipped cream, the not-quite-hot coffee, the various Irish offerings from Jameson to Powers with the Mist on the side, and hot water to preheat the mugs or make hot drinks. There are Long Spoons everywhere, there are clove-studded lemon wheels with the bitter pith removed, someone has sent the cream to Old Bailey where it belongs (man, those B52s have a lot to answer for). The usual (the word Normal almost appeared here, but thought the better of it) bartender is still unconscious, moaning vaguely in a corner.

Actually, there are a lot of people vaguely moaning in various corners, and who can blame them. Some are at the beach, so someone needs to make mai tais and Long Island Iced Tea for that crowd, yeah, let's have a luau too, roast a pig, bonfire, indeed! Ooh, méchoui! Mix our parties right up!

The first Irish Coffee is being brewed, for the bat, by the bat, so that being drunkenly alert for hours, like I think Gil the Arm said, shall not perish from the Tavern.

Who's having the next one? It won't be long, you have to drink it while it's still hot all the way to the bottom, or you can't cuddle yourself into the glass afterwards (well, if you're small enough to do that) till it gets cold. Our bat is willing to skip the cuddling part to make more Irish Coffees. Hot punch is also on offer. Or toddies, if you want some tea salvaged from the harbor, back when reason prevailed...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 24 - 05:44 PM

Over in a topologically irrelevant corner the Cricketbat is rubbing its forelegs together, making a sound like someone scratching their head.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Nov 24 - 01:06 PM

Ahoy there, fellow chiropter, have a drink! squeaked our bartending (pro tem) bat, relaxing into their native supersonic (to most humans and other beasties) language. We have the cloud of bats who've fled several belfries in bewilderment ahead of you, but what'll it be? You're ahead of the cauldron who will not get served here for a while... such as combativeness, battlers, bloodbathers, and similar unwelcome visitors.

Several folks and a couple of other things in the tavern, having heard nothing but pouring, stirring, clinking and teakettles whistling, wonder vaguely why so many bats suddenly stop flitting about the rafters and start queuing at the bar, but most of them can't bring themselves to care, just yet. Overcome with benumbing, bloody, billowing, completely understandable and thus oxymoronic bewilderment, they can't even. (And who can blame them.) The few that do split into 10 groups, one who queues up also, and the other who knows binary. Free drinks for that one.

One additional mostly unheard squeak specifies, The vampire bats can serve themselves...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 24 - 06:58 PM

Okay, there might be some hankypanky about to go on. The Cricketbat is
"putting the moves" on a Baseballbat.

Of course, there is never any sort of hankypanky in a Mudcat Tavern, so I'm probably wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Nov 24 - 10:31 AM

We just never got the hang (that's a bat pun) of them there hankies. Never did grok Bilbo on that score.