Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:30 PM

And, here's a Tasteful space for deep cleansing after all that work!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:41 PM

LOLOLOLOL... if he reads this far, he'll be asking what the original title was!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:46 PM

Thanks Kat, and once we've had our baths we'll definitely require some spiritual renewal as well. Wonder if one of these would fit into the shell of the guest house, out back? I bet Amos would like a meditation space...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:07 PM

Keericed on the fuckin' proverbial crutch................what a friggin mess......Is that a pile of elephant shit over there? Damn..............

Listen Amos, I wanted to post here and let you know that I never even showed up! Go ahead and check.......I was never here so don't send me a bill for jackshit. If Jack shit on the floor than send Jack the bill. I WAS NEVER HERE and had nothing to do with all the wanton destruction or the inflated totals on your credit card.

Glad I ain't you.....I'm sending Cletus, Paw, Buford and the Reg boys your way to help in the clean up.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:21 PM

Did you hear the story about elephant shit and dung beetles this week on Terry Gross' Fresh Air? Do you know what happens when you drop elephant dung on the ground?

Watch then.

oo00o0o0o0o0o000033
oo86OO08ooOOO08oo

There. Elephant dung.

ping

ping ping

ping ping ping

ping ping ping ping ping ping

ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping

That's incoming dung beetles. The guy interviewed said "it's like a huge bucket of dung beetles literally poured over the top of you."

Spaw, I think you'd better come clean this up, and be prepared to sweep out about a ton of dung beetles.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:34 PM

Spaw, they'll get along good with the Idaho Legion. The Legion's already on site, digging bunkers for Amos. At least they told me they were bunkers.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Mother MOAB
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:39 PM

That's right dear, nothing happened. Now be a good boy and clean the mess up. You should have put your toys away before you left.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Donuel
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:28 PM

wow this party could make a clinically depressed person happy.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:49 PM

Never thought I would ever see a place that made mine look tasteful.
More to the point: GUEST Mystrocard, come sit down by the fire and have a nice single malt - straight up? on the rocks? How do you like it?



Sage - get behind him/it with the net. We'll dump him in the Jell-O pit with the squid.


The squid did come back, didn't he/she?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: open mike
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:20 AM

in case things get out of hand
and the bar be que sparks a fire
or we need to re-fill the pool
here is the world's largest
plane to do the job..
the Martin Mars
have super scooper
will deliver water..

http://www.xomba.com/martin_mars_water_bomber_footage_video
http://www.martinmars.com/sitemap.htm
http://www.martinmars.com/aircraft.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frLNuJvMCXs

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 01:08 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkfHCRChve8
http://www.martinmars.com/sitemap.htm
http://www.martinmars.com/aircraft.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frLNuJvMCXs

Hot links installed!

The squid IS back, but is still a little tender after being defrosted off of the ice rink. You might have to coax him out of the guest house.

SINS, I think the drink is working, the net isn't necessary. You know how sleazy those credit card folks are. You have that one drinking out of the palm of your hand. So to speak. But just in case, I shoved the net under your chair from behind, all you have to do is whip it out and throw it over if needed. I tried to pack it far enough under there so it isn't a tripping hazard. You wouldn't want anyone to fall down around here!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 01:20 AM

I think the living room would look great painted in a dark brown enamel.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 01:31 AM

A very dark brown, and add purple drapes with light blue carpet for that 'je ne sais pas quois' look.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:30 AM

I found this abandoned movie set and hitched it to the tank.

If we put it out front, I think we can fool Amos into believing he is no the wrong street, maybe even the wrong town.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:37 AM

This guy
was dancing around in the living room. I think the squid let him in. Evidently his trousers went the same way frogprince's did.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:45 AM

I'm safe on the dishes. There is no evidence left after the hockey players finished with their skeet shooting. And anyway, I signed Ebbie's name on all the purchases I made.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:49 AM

Ha! Right backatcha, Janie. I've been using everyone else's name. By now, my name is barely a blip on the screen.

I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell
I'm gonna holler and I'm gonna yell
I'll get you in trouble for everything you do
I'm gonna tell on you

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:01 AM

Great work with that net, SINS.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:11 AM

Bruce, if you paint that room dark brown the furniture will be almost invisible in there.

Hmmmm. Interesting idea. Maybe if you took in the right kind of lighting and some interesting accent stuff you could make it look like an opium den or other Victorian smarmy hangout.

However, I think we're pretty far gone when it comes to paint in this household compound. Paint doesn't stick to singed wood too well, for starters, and out near the rink it is too cold for paint to stick.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc.
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:11 AM

You people just don't understand. There is no proper level of FEAR in you. We know all of your darkest secrets. NOTHING that you charge is hidden! We know about the movies you guys rent in your motel rooms. We know about the Krispy Kreeme doughnuts you gals get on the way home from your Weight Watchers weigh-in. Beware! Mess with us and your frequent flier points are GONE!!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:18 AM

And besides, regular paint or stain doesn't stick well to paintball blobs.

Brown leather is classy, but don't you think something like this would fit Amos better? He does live in California by choice, after all.

Would somebody tell that geek that we are all on the "do not call" list and we don't want another credit card.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:38 AM

Mr. Credit card ghoul be very glad that it was Sins what netted you. If it had been Rapaire this would have been your fate!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:56 AM

Hey, I bet if we leave one of these in the driveway, he won't really care what the house looks like anymore.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:35 PM

"He never had a purple chair,
He never went to see one.
But this one is his only choice,
Because it is a free one"

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:49 PM

(I tend to prefer things dripping with opulence):

It's certainly dripping with something....

I didn't do nuffink, I wasn't there, I was on a different continent entirely....


LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:56 PM

Liz, incontinent doesn't count. . .

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:14 PM

Then could we do the living room with a wallpaper like this?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:17 PM

A start for the kitchen . . . .

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:19 PM

Hmmm... would that be a titty bar?

Oh... a buddy sent me an email re the fact that some of those fives in yer wallet may have been in the crack of a stripper's(s') ass at some point. Not terribly bad... as long as it wasn't some swine that put them there.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:21 PM

This coming from a guy who said on a thread that he used to play hockey with frozen balls.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:23 PM

The Peace offerings have cooled my ire. (And I thank him)

I now wish to be part of the solution and not aggravate the problem.

What can I (may I) do?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:35 PM

That kitchen Bruce offered was obviously a joke. Amos never had a kitchen like that and so that isn't our starting point. If I recall correctly, all of those few days ago, the original looked something like this, so that's what we need to aim at for our restoration.

Is that what you had in mind? Or did you want to add some upgrades?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:51 PM

Their kitchen is a basic galley-style kitchen with adjoining breakfast nook.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:53 PM

You could go rustic and tropical, for example. Of course, one of the more expensive kitchens like at Hearst Castle is not necessarily the model we want to follow--it's rustic but too dated, n'est pas?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:55 PM

Is this what you mean, Susan?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:01 PM

I'm sure they'd love it but it didn't look that way when I was there a few years ago.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:20 PM

Neat kitchen. Close the opening with a water-tight gate and ya gotcher basic hot tub. Clever, very clever.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:22 PM

I'm sure they've remodeled since then. In the world of virtual destruction, restoration, and design, we're giving ourselves a great deal of latitude. For example, this would be a fabulous addition to the back yard, a guest house for some of our more unusual Mudcat participants.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:43 PM

Cross-posted, Bruce. That's an idea--take a bath and wash the dishes simultaneously! Save water and time!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:44 PM

I WANT that house! Amos can have the Hearst Castle!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:01 PM

Why don't we just build him an outdoor kitchen? He could feed more of us, with all that space. And he does, after all, have all that excellent weather...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:24 PM

Is Gluon around? I need him to space time continuum this credit card representative. If he does it just right our little foibles will all be lost in the banking scandal and the bills will go away. One more step on the way to pre-vacation Amosville.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:35 PM

Slaps forehead!

SINS, you've forgotten. The regular Mudcat Tavern is around here somewhere. Just walk him through, and remember that coat closet over next to the bar? There's a way through to the recovery ward. Surely he's recovering from something. Nurse Ratched would love to help us with this, I am sure.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:46 PM

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:48 PM

a href="http://image42.webshots.com/42/4/86/70/2383486700089500728PBeefR_fs.jpg">Oh dear.




So much for the renovations.


Where's Rapaire? I'm going to ring his bloody neck for this!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:49 PM

Well, what I was trying to do would have been quite amusing had it worked. Since it didn't, I'll get me hat and slink off for a little while.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:10 PM

What was Janie up to? (This link probably won't go there from here.)

Okay, I saw it. The trick for those so inclined, is to copy
42/4/86/70/2383486700089500728PBeefR_fs.jpg
into the google search bar and click on the google photo icon. Or do some similar image search. It comes up in a webshots page that won't let you link out from it.

Anyway, what a mess. Nope, Janie, you can rest assured. That isn't Amos' house. That's one down the block that was, well, unfortunately, collateral damage back when Don Firth pushed that button of his. The least we can do is tidy it up.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:26 PM

NOT THE RED BUTTON, NEVER press the RED BUTTON!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:28 PM

"Surely he's recovering from something." Stilly

We can only hope. Looking on the bright side, it is always possible that he has short term memory loss- just briefly, of course. Bemusement, as I intimated before, is the best we can hope for.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:50 PM

I also had nothing to do with this, Amos. As you know, I'm a goodie-two-shoes from way back. Some one stole my cookie and did all sorts of mischief under my moniker. But it wasn't me. Hunuh. 'twern't me. I think it was that mean guy, Peace, and his partner in crime, Ebbie. She just seems nice and sweet, what with that million dollar smile and all. But looks are deceiving.

Kat was also one of the ringleaders. It was her what put Rapaire up to calling in the Legionairs, the Marines, and the Navy. You know how gullible he is.



Wait a minute. Nevermind, I just remembered.


Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos.