BS: Really bad constipation

Subject: RE: BS: Really bad constipation
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 08 Nov 00 - 10:21 PM

Bun. Since no one mentioned it. I've long been familiar with "slippery elm". Not as a constipation remedy (Kellogs Bran flakes work fine for me) but as the main ingredient in the arsenal (sorry Spaw) of all the old time spit ball pitchers.

Read an article years ago by retired pitcher Burleigh Grimes (REALLY retired...like circa 1935) in which he talked about the effects of slippery elm on his fast ball ("the darn thing would jump and dip like a drunken flea....")

Sorry folks. I know this isn't terribly relevent, but I DO love baseball as much as my instruments!

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Really bad constipation
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Nov 00 - 10:30 PM

Well let me tie it in for you Rick. I'll bet that pitch gave a lot of batters the shits! and come to think of it, most of us would likely lose control standing in a batters box while Roger throws 97 mph fastballs at us......or bats for that matter.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Really bad constipation
From: alison
Date: 08 Nov 00 - 11:59 PM

Best fruit to eat for constipation is a pear..... even better than prunes (and pleasanter)......

for really bad cases the old "soap and water" enemas are hard to beat......

you'll need a good friend, a funnel and tube, and a big bucket.......

mix up some soap, (we used "green" soap in hospitals.. back when I did this sort of thing... ah the joys of being a student nurse!!! this and flatus tubes had to be the worst..... *grin*)... but I suppose something like "simple" would do....... mix in tepid water...... lubricate and insert tube..... attach funnel to other end.. and slowly pour in the liquid...... when it's in.... lower the tube into the bucket and excess fluid will run out....... (lovely)..... repeat process a few more times...

try to hold on for as long as you can.. then run to the loo.....

then get to work on your diet and water intake.....

good luck

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Really bad constipation
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 09 Nov 00 - 03:55 AM

I remember being given an enema before the birth of my son Tom. They did the neccessary and very kindly put a sign on the nearest loo saying "do not use". I was told to hold it in as long as possible and then go. This I did, but when I got to my assigned loo someone was in it(an asian lady who did not understand english) So I had to find another one. I sucked my bum cheeks together sooooo............ hard and did a kind of "ministry of funny walks" down the corridor, wearing one of those hospital gowns - open at the back - all toilets were in use - till I was ushered into the sluice room. I had to use a very large sink, the logistics were difficult as I was 9+ months pregnant. Thank god there was no back to the gown - I just sat in the sink and let go. When I went back to my bed, I got a round of applause from some of the staff and patients
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Really bad constipation
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Nov 00 - 05:06 PM

Truly an enema of the people!!!

Think I just cured my little problem by laughing at that!! Thank heavens I didn't have that trouble when I was in that condition..... although using a bed pan whilst entirely supine and with a large cut across the lower abdomen was a feat of gymnastics I very nearly didn't make!!

Shall we start a thread about how nice the weather is now?

LTS