BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?

Subject: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:11 PM

If you have...this is the thread in which you can tell us all about it. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:18 PM

Yeah, except it was a bull, then a steer. That's why I got kicked in the nuts. Poetic justice. Now, ask me if it hurt.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:18 PM

Did it hurt?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:20 PM

Right away!

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:31 PM

No, I've never been kicked by a cow. Thanks for asking.

Boring as hell in Orillia, huh? Want me to send you a few dollars so you can visit a strip club or something?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:31 PM

Yes. Have you?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 07:00 PM

Old Man Mullvahill got it... he was a mean ol SOB. He kept a stick on the stall wall fer ta beat tha cow with. Tha police figgered he took a heart attack beatin the cow and that's when she stomped him until tha only way he could be IDd was on accounta his clothes.

No shit. His wife turned the cow loose in the pasture and never milked her after that. Fed her carrots and turnip and cabbage and sugar. She deserved it... so did ol lady Mullvahill.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: olddude
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 07:52 PM

Like Bruce it was a bull and it hurt, I jumped a fence one time as a kid and didn't realize the nasty ass thing was standing in the corner. He didn't kick me but I did get launched ... and yah it hurt .. so ask me if I am going to do a running of the bulls anytime ... ahhhhh NO. Learned that lesson at age 12. Bruised but nothing more .. ya bounce when you are a kid .. he launched me, i got up and high tailed it back over the fence

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 08:10 PM

I have not been kicked by a cow, Rapparee, but I have witnessed cows attempting to kick various friends of mine. Nasty! Fortunately, they just barely missed on those occasions.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 08:17 PM

Oooooh, yes. I must have been about 17. We had just a few milk cows, and just one that was a kicker. I always kept my head jammed in her side ahead of her leg when milking her. That time she rocked away from me, and boing!!; suddenly I thought I had an extra pair of tonsils. Things actually started to go dim, with little flickering stars, for a bit. My first nephew was there, visiting on the farm, and I told him to go up to the house and get his grandpa, as I wasn't sure at the moment that I wasn't going to go out. So of course here came both my folks running, and the last thing I wanted was to explain the whole thing to Ma. I peed just a trace of blood, and other than that was just a little sore for a while.

(Didja ever notice that 999 can hit pretty decent high notes?)

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 08:29 PM

No.

Neither have I been bamboozled by a bull, shuffled by a sheep, chased by a chook, or llambasted by a llama.

But there's a first time for everything........

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 08:50 PM

I have been dogged by a cat....and pecked by a Mockingbird... but never needed to get that close to a cow.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 09:12 PM

Not kicked, but I've had a cow (Holstein, if that makes any difference) stand on my foot. Fortunately I'd previously had a horse pull that trick, so I knew how to lean my shoulder into her to get her to take the weight off my foot.

All my current black and blue marks, though, a cat created. Gawd, how do they DO that?: putting 3 times their weight on one paw?!?

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Janie
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:26 PM

Yes.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:26 PM

Yes, I have. I've even had a cow stick her foot in the milk bucket. Does irretrievably bad things to the milk. And Papa's not happy either.

Incidentally, gnu, I doubt your story: "Tha police figgered he took a heart attack beatin the cow and that's when she stomped him until tha only way he could be IDd was on accounta his clothes."

That warn't no cow. Mighta been a moose or an elephant Those are well documented. But a cow? Nah.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:49 PM

Ebbie, you ever milk a 1,400 pound Welsh Black or a 1,700 pound Santa Gertrudis? They kick ya or step on ya and ya know somethin' happened!

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Janie
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:55 PM

Having been kicked by both cows and horses, if confronted by a sorry choice between the two, I'd prefer getting kicked by the cow.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:57 PM

Strangely enough, when a large horse which weighs twice what a small horse does steps on your foot it tends not to hurt as much as when said small horse does it. The large hoof has fewer poinds per square inch, not to mention that a good deal of the hoof is on the floor/ground. A small horse's hoof can cut your poor little bare foot something fierce. (Trust me on that) Not sure if a huge bovine offers a different experience.

Never had a cow kick at me as I went by; a cow tends to kick because of pain or discomfort.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: GUEST,skivee, guesting in
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 11:04 PM

Closest I've come was being bit in the palm of my hand by a pony. From previous accounts, I'll take the pony bite.

Just be glad the Aurochs have been wiped out. They'd have kicked you, stomped you, eaten you, and sauntered away laughing.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Janie
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 11:30 PM

Well said, Ebbie. (remembering a painfully broken toe or three.) The result of being stepped on by an angry shetland stallion challenging the full-sized gelding I was foolish enough to dismount in the middle of a fracas when we rode through a gate that said, "No Trespassing," but did not go on to say, "This means you, and the horse you rode in on."

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 11:58 PM

Butted in the pregnant belly by a goat then nipped on the butt by a horse just before birth of said child. So I said to the nurse, "Ouch, that's where the horse bit me!" Kid turned out OK.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 07:22 AM

No but I have seen the result after one had stepped back full weight on someone's foot during milking. I had never seen so many shades of black & purple.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: olddude
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 09:30 AM

I only heard this recently on TV when they were interview some famous bull rider in the rodeo.. Anyway, the reason the bulls jump and buck so hard is that before the rider gets on the "spike them" That is, the put a spike in the bulls nads ... seriously.. The first thing the rodeo clowns do when the rider is dumped is pull the strap to get it out so the bull will calm down..

yeee gads, I would jump and buck also me thinks

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 10:00 AM

Horses are also usually shod.

But here's another question: Did you ever preg check a cow without a glove and sleeve?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 12:00 PM

Hmmmm. I hadn't heard that about the rodeo bulls, olddude. My understanding is that the flank strap is tightened at the last second.

I suspect the "famous bull rider" was having you on. Were it true there would be blood in evidence and the occasional infection, and I have never seen nor heard such a thing. Not only that, when would this "spike" be inserted, not to say, held in place?

Not to mention SPCA would be in there kicking and screaming.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 12:18 PM

When this thread has run its course, we can do another one along the same lines, such as...

BS: Ever been sat upon by an elephant?

BS: Ever been raped by a gorilla?

BS: Ever been swarmed by anchovies?

Etc. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 01:44 PM

Correct, Ebbie. And those bulls used in the rodeos are worth, literally, thousands of dollars both in their own value and in the money they bring in to their owners every year. Any owner that damages his money-maker is just plain stupid.

As for complaints, HSUS and PETA have both claimed that the flank strap is tightened upon the bull's...bullhood...but the rules of professional rodeo associations forbid the animals being hurt in any such way. That is not to say that a small, local rodeo might not do such a thing, but if they do the rodeo is neither PRCA sanctioned nor sanctioned by anyone else.

As I noted above, hurting the stock that makes you money is stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 01:45 PM

No. But I was attacked by a kangaroo.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 03:05 PM

Ebbie? You say the cow did NOT stomp old man Mullvahill's head to a pulp???

Then who did?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 03:10 PM

My high school friend Eddie got kicked while he was milking the cows at home (in Wisconsin, of course). It shattered his arm, and took a lot of surgical work to repair. I helped him bale hay on that farm, but I stayed away from the cows. A hay baler can do a job on your arm, too. Farming can be a dangerous job.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 03:15 PM

Some cows are just plain mean. There was one like that at one place I stayed at for awhile. Jeffrey used to milk her, and she frequently attempted to kick him, often knocking over the pail of milk in the process. He was very watchful, so he sustained no injuries, but he sure grew to hate that cow.

We milked the goats there too, and there was one old nanny goat who had a strange habit. She would lift the hind leg on the side you were milking her from and just hold it up in the air like a male dog peeing. No other goat ever did that, so we knicknamed her "Leg Lifter".

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: olddude
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 03:18 PM

He may have been talking about the old days of riding don't know .. I too couldn't believe they would do that but nothing surprises me. Myself I am no fan of rodeo's

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: grumpy al
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 04:01 PM

only the one I married, now divorced,

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 04:08 PM

Dan... such a device was common practice I thought??? It doesn't penetrate the scrotum but it sure makes the bull mad.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: MarkS
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 09:25 PM

Cow, no, but horse, yes.
Rather not get kicked by either!

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 10:44 PM

Think about the logistics, folks. The sacs are far back, close to the legs, far away from the pizzle. The flank strap is secured above the hip bone, in front of the hind legs. Now, having set the scene: Just how - and WHO - goes behind the bull, stoops down and pulls the flank strap (with its handy dandy spike, no less) behind the sacs- mind you, the flank strap is not yet tightened so it is still slack. What is keeping the strap - and spike - in place? Is it the spike? Is it pushed into the sacs? ha, I say. Youse guys know not whereof you speaks. -

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 11:03 PM

Ebbie, to answer your question?

Someone other than me...someone with a death wish.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 01:28 AM

The function, no doubt, is fulfilled by someone quite old. Because it is such a short career.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 07:07 AM

I can affirm that technically I've been kicked by a cow, but it wasn't intentional on her part, and I wasn't seriously hurt (although I limped around for a few days).

In actuality, the cow was "expressing a dissatisfaction" by waving a hoof in the air, and I happened to be a bit too close. She wasn't aiming to kick anything in particular, and particularly not me. We discussed it all later, and of course those big brown eyes make an ol' bossy look sorry even when she ain't done anything, so I had to forgive her.

Had she hit where there was a bit of "meat" it probably would have been less painful, but she caught me right on the front of the shin-bone. Since I was only about 7 or 8 at the time, I guess I was light enough to sort of "fly away" with the impact (and I didn't land on the pitchfork I was bringin' the hay in on at the time).

It p***d me more that I couldn't catch the #@!$@% hossfly that was the cause of it all, than gettin' knocked on my a** did. I did try.

But I have known a couple of people who had broken bones when a cow got specifically offended by something that they did and kicked intentionally - and accurately. I have no doubt that at least some of them (the cows) are quit aware of what damage they can do.

(But if you treat 'em right, they usually have to be actually mad at you.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM

The one that got me was apparently of such persuasion that she just didn't like guys squeezing her titties.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Gurney
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 04:54 PM

The people most likely to suffer this eventuality are those who handle bovine private parts. As I don't, the answer is no.

I have been chased by a cow. She didn't like me going 'Ahhhhhh' about her calf. Challenged by a ram, too. Trousers torn by farm dogs. surrounded by inquisitive bullocks. Monstered by cobs. Bowled by a shire-horse who wanted my groundbait. Had my sandwiches stolen by a pig.
The trials of an angler.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM

"monstered by cobs"?

I have been verbally abused by squirrels, and pissed on by a dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 08:59 PM

I was once NEARLY bitten by a pony = JUST beat him to the end of his rope and only got Tooth Shaped bruising on my shoulder !

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 09:37 PM

When I was 'bout 14 years old I knew this black guy, Curly, and he got us this job manually muckin' out a barn with pitch forks and there was a cow in the barn and I was tryin' to get her out of a stall so I could muck it out and was pushin' on her (no, not in that way, sickos) and the sumabich stepped on my left foot...

Ouch!!!...

I reckon if there hadn't been so much poo in that stall to cushion it she would broke somethin'... No matter... It hurt like a sumabich...

Kicked???

No...

Never mind...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Gurney
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 02:33 AM

LH, a cob is a male swan, and when they have a nest or cygnets, the whooping and mute kinds are aggressive. More bluff than hurt, but they can bruise you.
Don't know about other sub-species.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 11:45 AM

Ah, yes...well, I've read Sue Townsend's books (the Adrian Mole series)...and I am well aware that "a swan can break your arm". ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Willie-O
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 12:13 PM

Cows are really dumb. They won't come in out of the rain, and when the sun comes out afterwards, THEN they go into the barn.

However they can be cunning. My experience was that they know about steel-toed boots, so they step on your foot behind the toe. Ouch.

In my youth I worked awhile on a farm with a herd of ornery Highlands. Kept my distance. Don't think one ever connected with my tender parts. It's the horns you watch for.

Sometimes in the barn they moo in perfect harmony. What are the odds of that being random?

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 01:10 PM

Kicked by a cow?

No, but I was scowled at by a rhinoceros once.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 02:55 PM

No, I've never been kicked by a cow, but I have been licked by a cow.

I used to be a park ranger in Brooklyn's Prospect Park, and they had a petting zoo area. I used to stop at a fruit stand on my way to work on the mornings I was going to patrol that part of the zoo and pick up carrots and grapes. Everything in their will eat either one or the other. Cows love carrots, and they'll lick them off of your hand. It's rather like slobbery sandpaper.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Ever been kicked by a cow?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 09:04 PM

William Shatner got shat upon by an elephant one time. Yes, shat upon! You heard me right. It's a horrifying experience. He swears that the elephant chuckled as it lumbered majestically away from the entrance of his tent, through which he had unwisely stuck his head moments before.