Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr

Subject: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 04:43 PM

Sudden but not exactly unexpected... I am still rather out of it, and things are very strange.

Born in the part of Yugoslavia that had been Austro-Hungary before the war, Mom grew up secular, celebrating Christmas with live candles on the tree. When the Nazis came in though, she and her family were considered jews; mom was liberated from Auschwitz the day before her 16th birthday, apparently looking like those scarecrow skeletons that you couldn't tell if they were alive or not (she was). She escaped from behind the Iron Curtain with her little brother to France, and then came to the States in the early 50's where she married my dad whom she had met in Paris. As many of you know he was killed by terrorists in 1983, but mom endured.

From the mid-sixties till dad's death we lived in Africa, mostly in the Ivory Coast, where Mom and Dad raised 4 daughters of whom I am the youngest. Mom also leaves 8 grandchildren (4 boys, 4 girls, 4 twins, 4 singletons), a great-granddaughter, and will have missed the birth of her first great-grandson by what is likely to be days rather than weeks. Also surviving her are her brother and Dad's, 10 niblings and their 24 children; and many cousins and their descendants, in North and South America, Eastern, Western and Central Europe, near Asia and the far East, West and North Africa and Down Under.

An era has ended yet all seems the same. How odd. Love you all.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Charley Noble
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 04:54 PM

Mrrzy-

My condolences to you and your family.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 04:55 PM

Fascinating family history.
Sorry to hear of her passing, but be thankfull for the fact that she made it in spite of all the horrors, and ergo you and your siblings are here.

RIP

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: bobad
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:00 PM

My condolences for your loss.

My dad's early life had some elements in common with your mom's, the best part being the escape from the hell that is war and finding a better life elsewhere. RIP Mrrzy's mom.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:07 PM

{{{Hugs}}} for you, Mrzzy. You come from a very interesting family. Thanks for sharing more about your mom. It feels really weird once a person's last parent passes on. Most of us become orphans later in life...still nothing we'd like to have happen, but that's life.

In sympathy,

kat

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Little Robyn
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:47 PM

Love to you and your family.
Robyn in NZ

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Jeri
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:49 PM

My condolences, Mrrzy.
What a remarkable life, though. Hope your family can get together and tells her stories.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:50 PM

My sincere condolences, Mrzzy.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:57 PM

Condolences, MRZZY.

Saul

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 05:59 PM

Being present as history is made is small comfort- What is remarkable is her long life beyond. Congratulations to her, and to those she leaves behind, my condolences.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 06:00 PM

RIP

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 06:11 PM

My condolences, Mrrzy.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 06:15 PM

I'm sorry, my dear friend. She sounds like quite the amazing woman. You were lucky to have her.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Janie
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 07:44 PM

What Ebbie said, Mrrzy.

{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 08:03 PM

A grand life and a hard life and it had its full share of tragedy and love. We love you Mrrz......always have. Pass on the memories and the life she lived to those who don't know.......that's real immortality.


Spwa

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 08:16 PM

My sincere condolences, Mrzzy.

Thanks for sharing.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 08:31 PM

I am so sorry, Mrrzy....

Thank you for sharing her past... It does make it so much easier to connect with someone's spirit...

B~

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 10:03 PM

I'm sorry for your loss, Mrrz--it is one you never quite recover from; but it is worth celebrating that she survived so well and against such horrible odds, and acheived a self-defined, dignified life to die from, if you see what I mean. She sounds like a very tough lady!!


Hugs,
A

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: GUEST,MTed
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 10:08 PM

I am sorry, too, Mrrzy. Your Mom was a survivor, and, although we did not know her personally, knowing about her, and the suffering that she survived, gives us all hope.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Neil D
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 12:06 AM

So very sorry for your loss.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Bert
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 12:34 AM

Love and condolences.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: KT
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 12:42 AM

I'm sorry for your loss, Mrrzy. Sounds like she lived an extraordinary life.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Monique
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 02:13 AM

Mes sincères condoléances, Mrrzy, je pense bien à toi.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: fat B****rd
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 03:16 AM

My very best regards and condolences.
Charlie

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 04:01 AM

sorry for the loss of a remarkable woman, & for the grief of her survivors

sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 11:42 AM

My sincere sympathies to you and your family. Even when you're "expecting it", losing someone you love is no easy thing. Your Mom sounds amazing -- and it's inspiring to think of how much she's accomplished after the ordeal(s) she managed to survive. Sounds to me as though her spirit will live on...

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 03:47 PM

Thank you all.

Some tidbits:

She pronounced both V and W as W. Thus interesting words, like wowel (not a consonant), wiper (snake) and so on.

When asked where her accent came from, she said it came from trying to speek eenglish.

Her control of idioms was very like Ricky Ricardo's - for "as easy as shooting fish in a barrel" she once came up with "as easy as shooting a duck in the chest."

...

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 05:51 PM

Sounds like a fine woman, who survived a lot that no one should have to see any of. Condolences to you and the family.
                               Dean

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:39 AM

"...as easy as shooting a duck in the chest" lol I love it. On the other hand I know a certain Mudcatter who is known to have said "he's got too many tools in the furnace." :)

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 01:17 AM

I'm sorry she's gone, Mrr. From what you've said of her, I gather she must have been a remarkable woman.
May she rest in peace.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 04:52 PM

empathy unites even across philosophical divides.wishing you well,mrrzy.
pete.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Allan C.
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 07:30 PM

I am and was happy to have met your mom though we didn't talk beyond initial greetings. You explained then that she didn't like speaking in English very much, but from what you have written so far I do wish I had been able to converse with her. I'm sure she had a lot to say to the right ears. I'm sorry for your loss and that of your boys.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 09:10 PM

Some day it would be nice to meet you. We share a whole lot of the international experience.

Will you be at the Getaway in late September? Judy and I plan to be there.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 09:14 PM

My deepest sympathy Mrzzy! It sounds like she was an amazing person! May she rest in peace!

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 10:33 PM

I am glad that she survived Auschwitz. I am sorry for your family's loss. I hope you have many good memories. Sending love and virtual hugs.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Beer
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 11:08 PM

All of the above Mrzzy. I can't add anything except to say that your Mum was a remarkable lady.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 03:44 PM

Thank you all. I keep thinking about her being dead, I'm looking forward to just being able to think about her... 2 of my sisters say they feel jetlagged. The rest of us don't travel enough.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 03:47 PM

very sorry to hear this news Mrrzy
anything I can do just drop me a note

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 12:45 PM

Starting to get sad. I think. Yesterday went for drinks with friends and had a hard time with other people having fun, and new babies, etc.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 12:57 PM

I still have conversations with my father, though he's been dead 10 years. I just enjoy thinking about him now and again. It was more difficult to do that for several weeks after he died but I now find it more a comfort than upsetting. My mother still walks this earth at age 94 and I don't know how much longer she will last but at least she is still painting canvases and is mentally alert. I certainly will miss her too when she is gone but her presence will also continue. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 04:38 PM

My older sister was 72 years old when our dad died, 8 years after Mom's passing. Sis said that her first thought was, Now I'm an orphan.

Her feeling, I think, was akin to my reaction when my younger brother died. It was that the one person who had memories of me from my early childhood was gone.

I suspect that that loss of continuity in our lives is one we share.

Another response to our losses, I think, is the perpetual wish to get information from them. Mom's been gone 25 years, Dad for 17 and there are still things I would like to ask or tell them. I expect that will continue.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: maeve
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 05:28 PM

Thinking of you, Mrrzy. It took me a long time to think of my late father without sorrow; I still miss him terribly, but I can also now rejoice at having shared so much of my life with him. He is part of me.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 06:40 PM

Obit in tomorrow's Washington Post. Search for "Fenjves."

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 02:37 AM

Although, this is something you can never really "get over", losing some one you care about never is, be free to mourn, to weep over her. Also, tell her stories to people, to your boys, to your friends, to your nieces and nephews, to anyone who will listen. It helps keep a part alive in you.

Do something creative in her honour, write, paint, play music, sing, something for her...this last has really helped me on numerous occasions, as it helped me work through my own writhing feelings. Maybe just write her a letter every once in a while...tell her what's going on...and so on, even though she will never read it. The result is to help you through the grieving process.

Take it easy, my friend.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: maeve
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 08:31 AM

Your mother had a beautiful smile, Mrrzy, and what a fine obituary in her honor!
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/washingtonpost/obituary.aspx?n=estera-f-votaw&pid=159023150#fbLoggedOut

Thank you for letting us learn something of her life, fully lived and appreciated, and of her love for the people and art of the world. One would do well to follow her example; relishing every moment of life.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 11:46 AM

Thank you for posting it!

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 04:55 PM

I have expressed my condolences earlier in this thread. I knew from your original post that she had an amazing life. The obituary told us more about that and made me curious: how many languages did she speak?

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 05:16 PM

5, all pretty fluently. She oddly enough never lost the languages she didn't use, like German and Serbian, but she used English, French and Hungarian on an everyday basis.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 05:58 PM

Just read her obit.... amazing woman! I will go visit the museum when her collection is included.

Quite a family all around... *smile*

Subject: RE: Obit: Mrrzy's Mom, atheist & Holocaust survivr
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 01:01 PM

An amazing woman who surely will be long remembered.

Charley Noble