BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM

Out here in The West (an' that includes Alberta, home of the current world's champeen), there's a contest held that don't get a lot of media attention. I'm referin' to, of course, is boudin suckin'.

Whatchado is real simple. Ya kill an' gut a bufferlo, what you flatlanders call a bison. Ya butcher it up good, and ya take the boudins out and kinda sponge off the outsides. Then ya take a buncha plastic wrap, an' ya use the good stuff cuz otherwise it can get a bit messy, and ya wrap up them boudins and take 'em on down to the contestants.

These fellers sit on the ground facin' each other. Ya drop the pack of boudins between 'em, and then ya hand each of 'em a jug of firewater. The good stuff, the kind made with new whiskey, river water, terbacker juice, blackstrap, red pepper an' stricknine powder.

Each one takes a big ol' drink and then picks up their end of the boudins an' when the bushway shoots off his pistol they start in sucking them boudins down. Ain't no chewin' allowed, but you can pull them ol' boudins back up if ya want. That's good show bizness, cuz it makes the other guy think ya got all the time in the world. An' besides, it's good practice.

So, when them fellers are prit near lockin' lips, the bushway whips out his Green River and slices the boudins in two, generally missing lips and noses, but not always. Then them suckers pull out the boudins and whoever sucked down the longest part wins. The prize is usually a new rifle gun, er maybe the hump meat of the buff, er a keg of firewater. Nowdays, the winner gits a plague fer his wall that reads "I'm a real sucker -- I got guts!"

The current champeen is a guitar pickin' fireman teacher from Hinton, Alberta. Feller sucked it right up in the best possible style.

An' you ain't gonna see this sport on no ESPN, neither.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM

[bleep] (for gratuitous vulgarity)Use it for cunnilingis to avoid that tunafish aftertaste

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Azizi
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 10:33 AM

GUEST 10 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM needs to be kicked to the curb.

or in the grand tradition of The Dozens, somebody needs to tell him [or her] "Your Mama!" and then rip him [or her] a new one.

Sometimes it's best to just ignore rude guests

but

sometimes you can't help but tell them to go jump in the lake {or words to that effect}.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:17 AM

's okay, Azizi. Rude GUESTs have a way of ending up at the centerpiece of a boudin-sucking contest.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 07:31 PM

Rip the door off your fridge, then use the plastic wrap to keep the cold air in. You can then see what you got in your fridge.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM

GOOD, USEFUL IDEA.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 01:03 AM

Ya heard about that, huh?

Love blood pudding.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Davetnova
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 11:52 AM

plastic wrap (clingfilm?) is handy for keeping ATN moist while transporting it to paint on doorknobs/toilet seats/jam for entertainment and bangs

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:09 PM

hey! I got a good one! Plastic wrap to cover yer computer monitor & keyboard, so when you are reading some of these 'interesting' ideas and you blow coffee, banana pudding or prune danish all over the screen and keys, you can just rip it off and not have to wipe down the whole thing!

thankyew, thankyew!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:27 PM

Even eclectic philosophical tastes may be soothed on Mudcat threads. The heterogeneousness of topics allows room for all to participate, educate and learn. Wish I done what Bill suggests before I read his post. Jaysus . . . . Prune danish is a funny-sounding thing. Now I have to wip[poidrxnqwrH my computer keys.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:30 PM

Prune Danish funny looking, too...

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:38 PM

Ya know, if that was growing somewhere on a guy's body it ud sure make ya nervous, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: matai
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 07:50 AM

Or hungry

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 08:03 AM

Parachutes.

Renders body bags unnecessary.