BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 07:48 AM

Sounds like guest wants expand the discussion to upsetting a steady marriage.... I hope he is only jesting!          I,m with mike 2 , not like cats, but cats like me !    Not enough though to keep me away.            Seriously though, I would just say , thanks , but I really got a thing about dogs, happy thanksgiving.    And then enjoy some me time while hopefully the wife has a nice evening socialising.

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: gnu
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 08:54 AM

I wouldn't go.

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 09:14 AM

I had to go to one of my wife's xmas parties with her work colleagues 15 years ago..

and I've managed to escape going again ever since...

Don't even need to bother with excuses anymore...

The wife is a social creature..
which means I'll have enough free evenings at home on my own
to get through a Clint Eastwood "Man with no name" trilogy blu-ray boxset,
and with any luck the "Band of Brothers"and "The Pacific" boxsets...

I love xmas party season.... 😜

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: michaelr
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 12:54 PM

Update: The BFF's husband has stepped in and said he'd keep the dog outside while we're there, so I'm going after all. Thanksgiving is saved!

pfr, I asked and was told that the dog is an American bulldog/Rhodesian ridgeback mix. He's big, with a head the size of a melon.

Thank you to all who contributed to the survey! I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 01:23 PM

yes that does sound like the canine equivalent of a fully loaded AK47...

Best be safe than sorry, and wear full padded 'sports protection' and kevlar underpants in case it jumps and nips... 😬

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: Greg F.
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 01:24 PM

I'm pleased to hear that REAL courtesy and rationality somehow kicked in and that you're now able to go. ENJOY!

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: GUEST,34
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 01:32 PM

There are people who are generally afraid of dogs, usually because of being attacked when very young as I was. I have no problem with most dogs as soon as I can get to know them. I like dogs. I have a dog that is a member of the family.

There are some dogs who respond aggressively to smelling fear on a person. We call them "fear biters". These dogs can be perfectly sweet with everyone else. If you have a fear biter, it is your responsibility to keep it away from people who fear unknown and/or aggressive-acting dogs. With a fear biter, no amount of getting to know the dog works. They remain violent, probably in a feedback loop with the person who experiences increased fear because of the dog's behavior.

One of the unpleasant parts of this is the number of people who assume that the dog's reaction to the dog-fearing person means there is something untrustworthy in the person.

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 05:42 PM

Just said goodnight to our holiday company, some of which are nervous around our big dog. We loved her up good,made sure to get in play and potty time, put her favorite blanket and a nice big bone and shut her in another room for a bit. If you are going to host an event, I think it's the proper thing to do. If it would be for more than a couple hours, we would board her for the day. Seems a happy medium could be found. If I were you, I wouldn't have gone to a place with an aggressive dog either. Hope you enjoyed your day despite this.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: Paul Burke
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 05:52 PM

Never mind the dogs, why are so many owners so aggressive?

Reminds me of the Kippers' demolition of the hunting song:

It was early one morning I was walking my dog
When the Duke of Wellington we did meet,
Bonzo and Rover they slobbered him all over
While Dido nearly knocked him off his feet

There was Dido Fido Bonzo and Rex....


Well don't worry Sir I said, they won't hurt you it's just
Their way of saying they like you a lot,
But he took my little dog and he kicked it in the bog
Saying that's my way of saying I do not

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: GUEST,bbc
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 11:11 PM

My son & daughter-in-law have 4 cats. 2 are shy, 1 is affectionate, & 1 scratches & bites me without provocation or warning. When I mentioned it, they just replied that "Yeah, he doesn't like some people." Now, I either meet them on the porch & we go out or they come to my (petless) place! I don't consider it ideal, but no other options to avoiding scratches & bites were offered.

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Nov 15 - 11:33 AM

OP, lacking italics via this fone I'm on, my opinion (remember you did ask for opinions, not votes) is inserted in line below in caps.

Please give me your opinions: Is it an unreasonable expectation to have my discomfort accommodated by the hosts, YES BECAUSE YOU KNOW OF THEIR DOG, AND.... or have they lost all sense of proportion regarding human vs. canine? NO (you may be overreacting/misinterpreting a social signal) THEY ARE SHARING WHERE THEY ARE AT WITH THIS CANINE AT THIS POINT IN ITS TRAINING (and their confidence as dog handlers), AND....

Now that they know more about your needs, however ungraciously you may have stated them, they can incorporate that knowledge into any future invites. Speaking JUST FOR ME, I would think long and hard whether to put someone who can't be trusted to negotiate-- instead of deliver ultimatums as your description sounded to me-- on any guest list.

Also, again speaking just for myself, my service dogs' skills always include discernment of aggressive people. My dogs have kept me out of quite a bit of danger by going off on ppl I might let too close otherwise. Sometimes a dog really does know best.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Nov 15 - 11:47 AM

PS to the comment about fear-bites (and othe comments). Some of the same folks who evoke them are the same folks who abuse people violently out of their own fear.

Helping to retrain a fear-biting or fear-growling dog is a separate issue. No guest at my home would be welcome to attempt bribing or pepper-spraying my dog and would not be invited back. However Walmart et AL sell a spray one can spray on one's own clothes (or carry as a ponder on one's person that dogs and cats will avoid. (It is a helpful training aid we're using to break a cat-eating habit our rescue dog survived in the wild when other food was not available.)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: Greg F.
Date: 27 Nov 15 - 12:02 PM

That's right, Susan, the rights of animals always take precedent over the rights of humans.

Query: should the person "negotiate" before or after he or she is bitten?

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Nov 15 - 12:09 PM

This might be an entirely different story for a dog at a dinner party in Korea.

Subject: RE: BS: T-Day Trouble: A Survey
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Nov 15 - 12:11 PM

It's almost never the dog's fault. It's stupid owners. I'd go with the ultimatum. (I love dogs, and pretty much dislike stupid owners who refuse to take responsibility, and pretty much make their dog's bad behavior somebody else's problem.)