OBIT: Ezra Milan - One year ago, today 10 Mar 2010

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: RangerSteve
Date: 14 May 09 - 07:12 PM

I'm not good at finding things to say at a moment like this. So I'll just join everyone else in saying that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Sue the Borderer
Date: 14 May 09 - 08:28 PM

I, like many others, I believe, have just been a watcher on this thread. First, just waiting and hoping, - and perhaps hoping to find the 'right words' when in fact there are none.
All I can say is that even more 'good thoughts' are winging their way to you across the pond.
Oh that the whole world was more like the mudcat family at its best.

Sue

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 09 - 09:39 PM

I'm so sorry. I've harbored this fear for quite a while now as I am sure others have as well. so many young men, so sad

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, pleas
From: Janie
Date: 14 May 09 - 10:22 PM

One idea that has risen repeatedly as I have monitored this thread, is the sense of shared loss, even with most of us not knowing Ezra or Meghan. The same occurs anytime any of us choose to post to ask for good thoughts regarding a loss or trevail.

They touch on each of our individual experiences of loss and as well as our own fears of loss, and the empathy resonates throughout the community, drawing us closer as we recognize our human connection. I have often thought about my sister's struggle with breast cancer and her death as I have read here, and taken time to think and reflect on Ezra and all who loved him. I have thought about how the experience within my family of that terrible time and that terrible loss also brought us together and opened our hearts to one another in ways that we had never before imagined.

I do not believe that there is any inherent meaning in loss, but I do believe we can and ought make meaning from these infinitely painful and frightening experiences that are integral to existence. We have the capacity to find gifts buried in the pain.

As John Donne wrote, "No man is an island. No man stands alone."

Becca and family, especially Meghan, and others who experience tough times or exquisite pain, and then post here to ask for support, also understand that in doing so you give a gift to us who respond or read, and strengthen our connectedness to one another and to the whole.

Hope this has made sense.

Blessing and light.

Janie

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 May 09 - 08:30 AM

Beautiful words Janie. Thank you.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: maeve
Date: 15 May 09 - 08:43 AM

Yes, Janie. That makes sense. It also carries truth.

maeve

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, pleas
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 May 09 - 11:14 AM

yes

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 May 09 - 11:49 AM

Yes, Janie, it makes enormous sense and my own experience bears it out, especially this line: We have the capacity to find gifts buried in the pain.

Thank you again, Ezra.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 May 09 - 12:50 PM

"gifts buried in the pain"

Beautifully expressed, Janie. Last night, Meghan's aunt and I talked about how Meghan will find new ways and new opportunites through her loss. I wish I had your gift for stating it so simply and elegantly.

The wise women who surround her will help her walk the path. Meghan's life is filled with wise women - Becca, Jacqui, Ezra's mother, Deb, Melissa - all wisely experienced in life's painful and frightening but maybe more importantly in laughing at the worst of it together.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 May 09 - 12:59 PM

I've been thinking about Ezra's mother, too. I bet a lot of us have.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, pleas
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 May 09 - 04:07 PM

yep

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Celtaddict
Date: 16 May 09 - 02:12 AM

I am just back on the 'net. I am so sorry. Meghan, Becca, Kendall, Jacqui, all who loved him, love and peace to you.
Shortly after my father died, the only thing anyone said to me that helped at all was when a friend said, "You live your life so that if anyone does not know you love him, he is just not paying attention." Ezra knew you loved him. Your sharing your pain and loss is more a gift to one another and to us than you can know.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Neil D
Date: 16 May 09 - 04:48 PM

Just back from the hospital and checking in, so very sorry.

                                    Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Barry Finn
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:20 AM

So sorry that Ezra's gone & for the pain, grief & saddness this causes those that knew & loved him.
All my hopes, wishes, & prayers go out to you who had him for way to short of a time.

Barry

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: My guru always said
Date: 17 May 09 - 04:30 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that Ezra is gone, sending positive thoughts for your healing and grieving for a fine young man. Love to Meghan, Becca, Kendall and Jacqui.
Hil x

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: kendall
Date: 17 May 09 - 07:40 AM

The funeral is this afternoon. I hope my dear sweet little girl can move on.
And, I would like to thank every one of you for your incredible support in all this. You will never know how much it is appreciated.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Tinker
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:04 AM

Thanks for letting us know about the funeral today. I'll be in Church this afternoon and will raise a song or two in his name. With joy for the living and the love and the laughter that Ezra brought to you all.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:54 AM

I'll remember Ezra privately tonight at a service, with thoughts for his family. I'll raise a song, too.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: ClaireBear
Date: 17 May 09 - 10:26 AM

And I, this morning. Ezra will be remembered in the Prayers of the People at my church -- as he has been for weeks, but this time in the prayers for the departed. And my voice too will be lifted in memory.

Love to all,
Claire

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 May 09 - 10:47 AM

When I read the news that Ezra had been found, a wish went from me to Andie that she seek his spirit and make him welcome, show him around.

Wouldn't it be something if spirits of our loved ones not known to each other could meet and share stories about those of us left behind?

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: olddude
Date: 17 May 09 - 10:56 AM

In my thoughts and in my prayers
always

Dan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:45 AM

Today I am meeting with a couple of friends for music and I will tell them about Ezra and the people he left behind and we will sing a song for Ezra.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: gnu
Date: 17 May 09 - 12:47 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the families, Kendall.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: maeve
Date: 17 May 09 - 05:35 PM

Meghan and Ezra, and their families and friends, have been on my mind all day.

Maybe Meghan would like a tree planted somewhere special?

maeve

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 May 09 - 09:36 PM

That is a beautiful thought, Maeve. We'll ask.

Meantime, the funeral was attended by a large crowd of people - babies to elderly, black, white, Asian and I don't know what else. It was a simple and moving service followed by a buffet and a toast. The strain of the past two months was on everyone's face.

Time to reflect and move on.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 May 09 - 09:53 PM

Thoughts during the service we had this eve. included not only Ezra, Meghan, his mom and the whole clan, as I had indicated would be so-- but VT's Andie and Tam, too. A general mood of giving thanks for the mothering and women's side as well as the loss of the individuals themselves. Privately, not aloud, from Hardi and I.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: GUEST,celtaddict on the road
Date: 19 May 09 - 01:35 AM

I held my baby granddaughter today and sang for Kendall's granddaughter, and those she loves, and who love her, and who share this loss.
Blessings on you all.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, pleas
From: georgeward
Date: 19 May 09 - 02:18 AM

If we live on, it is (so far as we can prove) in the way that others think, feel and act that they would not, had they not known us. One need not be old to make this impression." No man," Donne wrote, "is an island entire of itself."

Even those of us who "knew" Ezra only through this odd, electronc world
carry a miniscule bit of him with us. It is not what his family and friends carry. Still, it is there.

Wish I'd known the real man. You who did are blessed. Hence the pain.

And hence my condolences,

- G

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 May 09 - 06:37 AM

The memorial service went well. We learned a few things about Ezra that we didn't know. One thing that stays with me is his two favourite films. This very modern young man loved The Wizard Of Oz and The Sound Of Music.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: maeve
Date: 19 May 09 - 10:07 PM

Thanks for that detail, Jacqui.

maeve

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 May 09 - 04:10 PM

Oh yes.... a wacky mix, great films...

~S~

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 02:10 PM

Well I was thinking about Ezra and his loved ones and decided I might as well say so.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 03:22 PM

I do too, often.

~S~

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 11:16 PM

I discovered a license plate that begins with EZR belongs to a friend of mine so I, too, often think of Ezra. Just on the off chance that a thought/prayer reaches the recently 'departed'...

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: kendall
Date: 17 Jan 10 - 07:29 PM

I had lunch today with my favorite grand daughter. There was much she wanted to share and discuss with me, the pain and disappointment that the love of her life is gone for ever. I believe it did some good, I'm her favorite man in the whole world and was able to get her to laugh through the tears.
No one can convince her that time will heal the wounds because she is unable to hear that at this point. I take comfort in the fact that time will heal the wounds.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: GUEST,WYS-out
Date: 17 Jan 10 - 07:32 PM

Oh Kendall. That you took time this week not only to do that but to tell us. NOW I can see you.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jan 10 - 07:52 PM

Hmmmm Just yesterday I thought of Ezra when I saw that license plate again, but I didn't realize it's been a whole year. Time, I swear, not only moves swiftly but is almost meaningless.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jan 10 - 08:01 PM

Unable is understandable. Time, indeed.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jan 10 - 11:36 PM

Funny, that, Kendall. When I read about your thinking all night about what use would a singer be without a voice, etc. I was going to remind you of the need your granddaughter still has of you. Should have known you'd need no reminding. Good for you Gramps!

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 08:25 AM

Your good presence will be a reminder of how we can heal, move on, grow with time, if we allow ourselves. I'm sure it's hard for her to see that alone, or with friends her age. It's good for her to be around us old(er) ones who've been knocked around a bit, and are often the better for it.

Never to make light of her loss.

Dani

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 08:46 AM

<<>>

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 08:48 AM

A year March 10.
Meghan is strong. Time will help. She is lucky to have Kendall in her life. And Kendall is lucky to have Meghan.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Becca72
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 10:02 AM

I've spent a lot of time with Meghan over the past year and it truly amazes me what a strong person she is. She will get through this in time. I've been thinking about Ezra a lot recently and it's no easier now than it was a year ago.

Kat,
It's not only Kendall's granddaughter who needs him but also his daughters, grandsons, wife and friends...

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 10:05 AM

Too true Becca.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 11:12 AM

Of course, Becca, sorry I didn't mean to exclude anyone.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Becca72
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 11:21 AM

No worries, Kat...just wanted to remind him, really :-)

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Becca72
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 01:25 PM

I debated refreshing this old thread but it's been a year today since we lost Ezra and I'm having a really crappy day.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - Good thoughts needed, please
From: Janie
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 01:28 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

to all of you.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - One year ago, today 10 Mar 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 01:38 PM

Becca,
This has to be a tough anniversary for Meghan and the family. Every time I drive over the bridge I think of Ezra.
So sorry, once again.
Mary

Subject: RE: OBIT: Ezra Milan - One year ago, today 10 Mar 2010
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 01:45 PM

My thoughts are with Meghan now. Thanks for bringing it back Becca.