Song Challenge! - Part 61

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 06:57 PM

Give that girl the biggest Toofer in the house!!! No, MMario, not THAT one!!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 01 - 08:07 AM

Amos! Get out of the gutter! (You're blocking my view)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Bradypus
Date: 27 Jul 01 - 06:27 PM

I've had the title and the tune for a week, but I haven't had a chance to do anything with them - until now.

The tune is 'Black Velvet Band'

Full Metal Bra

In Colorado Springs, Colorado
A McDonald's boy there I was bound
And many's the happy hour
I have spent in that fine little town
But bad misfortune o'ertook me
And now I have had to go far
Far away from my friends and my family
Betrayed by a full metal bra

Oh, one evening late as I rambled
Not meaning to go far at all
When I met with a feisty shoplifter
She was plyin' her trade in the mall
Oh, her eyes, they shone on the diamonds
And her smile twinkled bright as a star
'Come, give me a hand while I lift these stones'
Then she flashed me her full metal bra.

'All I ask is you make a distraction'
Then her fingers were nimble and quick
The diamonds had vanished quite clean away
As a sleight of hand trick it was slick
So we sauntered towards the shop exit
My blood hot, like any Hussar
For only I knew where the diamonds were
They were inside her full metal bra.

As we left there was quite a commotion
Bells rang, then a cop, gun in hand
Came up to my girl, and said to her
'Did you know metal underwear's banned'
Then her eyes, they shone like diamonds
'Oh, don't take me back to your car
Just give me a minute – yes, there's the clip'
She took off her full metal bra

This certainly caused a distraction
And a chance for some more sleight of hand
For the diamonds she slipped in my pocket –
They were sure worth a couple of grand
But fortune's ways, they are fickle
When the cop said 'I'll just frisk your friend'
And that's how I landed in jail, my boys
As I wait for my sentence to end.

In twelve months my sentence is over
Again I'll roam happy and free
To Colorado Springs, Colorado
Where I hope that girl still waits for me
For a year, it isn't too long, my boys
And a thousand miles isn't too far
To see once again that old feisty girl
As she slips off her full metal bra!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Jul 01 - 06:38 PM

Very nice, Bradypus!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jul 01 - 08:32 AM

Huzzah!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: SharonA
Date: 01 Aug 01 - 08:52 AM

It took me quite a few days to bring myself to commit the blasphemy of writing a parody of a Joni Mitchell song (Whaddaya call that? An "un-original sin"?). But I have finally wrestled the angel of my better nature to the ground...


TIN HANES, Y'ALL
(Tune: "Tin Angel" by Joni Mitchell)
Pronunciation guide: Macy's = "may-SEES" (I cheated a bit, there)

Vanished, freed from window-bars:
Man-wished, greed-grown crap I seize.
Kept in rattlin' boxers are
Recession's much-loved luxuries:

Dead furs from a cross Macy's,
Clothes I stripped from T.J. Maxx,
Walden's spines and Staples' sheaves,
Tucked into a hinder-crack.

Guess I'll stow them all away
Right down some undies of blue-gray.


Dark with darker foods these be,
Rotted, old, unrinsed, used some,
Blue foil combined with stitchery
To walk in, crackling, tin by bum.

Steeled, I'll take, stuff pants, and flee!
I found some undies of blue-gray.


Dare not borrow them, 'cause I
Like the Hanes y'all made of tin.
What will stop them if I try
To put a whole Wal-Mart in them?

With my cheeks, how sweet can play
The sound: some undies of blue-gray. [crinkle crinkle]
I found some undies of blue-gray. [crinkle crinkle crinkle]

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Áine
Date: 02 Aug 01 - 11:54 AM

Did y'all think I'd gone AWOL again? ;-) I've been battling with my back still, and blah, blah, ouch blah . . . Feelin' better now, and I'm so proud of all my darlin' Challenge!rs for your flippin' fantastic songs!! So, cudos, congrats and beaucoups mercis to each of you, and here are your awards:

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):
Come Line Your Pants by mousethief
Metal Liner by Loopy Sanchez
Put the Foil on Your Buns by mousethief
Song of the Security Guard by MMario

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):
Foil Bikini by Mmario
Hot Pant Explosion by JenEllen
The Lifter by Steal Miller (aka Jack the Sailor)
Shopliftin' Ladies by mousethief
Stocky Round Tin Hide (Colorado) by SharonA

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):
Crinkle Briefs by mousethief
Don't Wear Your Drawers to Town by Amos
Full Metal Bra by Bradypus
Line My Libido by mousethief
Tin Hanes, Y'all by SharonA

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):
The Ballad of the Sam Goody Shoplifter by mousethief
Flail Me by Codger Miller (aka Jack the Sailor)
One Tin-Foiled Rear (The Legend of Grill E. Rack) by SharonA

Winners of the Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):
Metal Knicks and Clever Tricks by Faithful Departed

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Two-Fer-One Coupon (The Two-Fer-One Coupon is awarded to those Challenge!rs who use two or more Challenge! topics in one song):
She Wore a Roll of Tin Foil by Trapper


Well done, each and every one of you! A new Challenge! will be posted later today for your collective elucidation, edification, and (definitely) titillation (oh!) . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Áine
Date: 02 Aug 01 - 12:05 PM

Oh yeah -- I forgot to mention that all the past Challenge! threads can now be reached from the Song Challenges of the Past page.

Please go and read my post on this thread for more information.

Later 'Cats, Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: SharonA
Date: 02 Aug 01 - 12:46 PM

Thanks, Áine, not just for all them purty, shiny Awards but also for the links between the "Past" page and the past threads (thanks, again, to Trapper too!)!!!

Wow, now Trapper needs just one more award (the All-in-One Genius thang) to win the Whole Bag of Chips!! (Look out, Trapper, I'm right behind you with two to go! Man, that means I have to write ANOTHER song with 10 or more Challenge!s in it 'cuz my last one didn't qualify... that Áine is one tough cookie!!!)

SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:43 AM

Being relatively new to Mudcat, especially to Song Challenge!s--and having spent way too much time on a few recent Challenge!s, I might add--I decided to indulge my addiction further by looking into previous Challenge!s that I had missed.
I'm not gonna take the time to finish this one tonight (gotta sleep sometime), but here's my hook:

"Shoplifting With A Metal Thong"
(a parody, of course, of "Love, Lift Us Up Where We Belong.")

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:07 AM

Hooray!!

But watch out ...

I played "catch up" and managed to complete all the challenge!s which Áine posted ... It became an obsession and that obsession has continued (as you can prob'ly see from the rate at which I post to current threads).

I may require medical assistance ... but hopefully not from Dr Testa (see challenge! 55).

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:43 AM

Yeah, Derry, I've noticed your obsession recently, and I'm afraid it's helped fuel my own!

We've got to stop meeting like this!

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:14 AM

derrymacash: Sorry, dmc, for whatever part I may have played in leading you down that long, slippery slope! *G* My own obsession with "catching up" led to a major songwriting burnout from which I'm still trying to recover. You wouldn't believe how many half-written Song Challenge! songs I have piled up, but haven't been able to complete. So I went on hiatus for a while, till I can learn to "let go" and just have fun with it again.

I shall return!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:42 AM

Sharon ....

So it was your fault was it?!

The origins of my obsession seem so far away in the mists of time I'd forgotten.

Anyway who says your meant to have fun with it? I thought it was all about blood, sweat, tears and sore fingertips ...?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 02:32 PM

Naw, Derry and Sharon,
It's neither. It's meant as an excuse for avoiding real work!

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 02:40 PM

Genie: Define "real"!

dmc: "So far away in the mists of time"?? It was last summer!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 03:09 PM

No More Shorts (Aluminum)

Words; Genie
Tune: Wimoweh

Chorus:
No more shorts
aluminum, aluminum, aluminum, aluminum,
No more bras
aluminum, aluminum, aluminum, aluminum,
aluminum, aluminum

At the market, the Denver market, the lyin' thieves are bright
Foilin' store dicks with metal undies, their loot hid out of sight.

Chorus

Near the Rockies, the thieves got cocky. Their lyin' ways we saw.
Startin' Sunday, no tin-foil undies designed to foil the law.

Chorus

Halt, there, darling, your drawers are crackling! Your lyin' thievin's done.
Your demeanor's a misdemeanor unless you're havin' fun.

Chorus

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!*
Whoa! Drop the tin lingerie!


*This is the Pete Seeger improvisational yell part.


Sharon, is your question kinda like "What is truth?"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 03:51 PM

I reckon time speeds up in the song challenge! demimonde. If a week's a long time in politics, then a day's an even longer time in here, as we anxiously await Áine to show up every now and then, bestowing favours on her acolytes.

And if that's the case then artefacts from last summer are antiques ... if not fossils!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 03:51 PM

Genie: LOL! I suppose so, though I was only thinking that my job is somewhat unreal at times!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 61
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:47 AM

Hey, Folks,

I'm back to writing my own songs, not so much time for this. But I'm still enjoying your stuff and will drop one in every now and then!

Cheers

Rob