Song Challenge! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: CapriUni
Date: 27 May 02 - 02:38 PM

Refresh, and a promise threat

Heh!

These are all good songss (okay, Great!) But since TGG Herself discovered the healing benefits of "going bare below" back in January, I'm kinda surprised that all the songs have been in praise of undies, and none in protest against them...

I guess that means it's my turn to take the challenge...

I Vill be Bahk!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 May 02 - 02:46 PM

I think JenEllen is "Johnny Cash." (Can I hear an Amen?)

If not, Guest Johnny Cash, unmask thyself! I want to keep an eye out for your stuff in future! That was REALLY GOOD!

~Susan

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 02 - 03:09 PM

LOL!!! Johnny-me-girl, that was first rate!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: DonD
Date: 27 May 02 - 09:13 PM

I'm sore dismayed! I wrote a song for the challenge, but when I submitted it, it just disappeared! And I wrote it right here so that I don't have a copy; I doubt that this recreation will be half as good.

THE STORE WAS FULL OF MARVELS
(The Banks Are Made of Marble)

I've pilfered cross this sceptered isle,
John O'Groats down to Land's End.
Things of all kinds, would blow your mind
If laid out end to end.

But small stuff began to bore me
I wante one big score
So that when wealth came, I'd earn my fame,
Then I heard of Agent Provocateur.

CHORUS:

'Tis a store that's full of marvels,
Satin bras and lace-trimmed drawers,
Suspender belts of exotic pelts
That a Playboy reader would adore.

Breaking in was easy
Flimsy frou-frous filled our lorry;
A scarlet bustier was making me lustier
Which means never having to say you're sorry!

Back at the flat we sorted the loot,
Found no two bits alike.
But we found it tough to fence the stuff
And were told to take a hike.

CHORUS

So here we sit midst naughty bits
Looking forward to being Yuletide Santys
Whose ambitious folly produced no lolly
Hope our girlfriens like split-crothed panties.

So wide boys and burglars all
Of one thing you can be sure:
You may polish your knob but you won't make a bob
At Agent Provacteur!

CHORUS


line breaks fixed by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 02 - 10:23 PM

Hahahaha!! I lov e it, DonD!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Áine
Date: 29 May 02 - 04:23 PM

That was a real hoot, Guest Johnny Cash!! Here's your B.L.O.B. for this 'catty' verse:

When I was a baby, my mama told me "Son,
Always be a good boy, don't wear satin next your bum"
But I wore some silky tangas, I wondered how they'd feel
And now I've graduated to wearing kitten heels


And here's a Golden B.L.O.B. for DonD! How could this verse not have earned such, what with the fantastic internal rhymes and 'flashy' alliteration!:

Breaking in was easy
Flimsy frou-frous filled our lorry;
A scarlet bustier was making me lustier
Which means never having to say you're sorry!


Way to Go, Challenge!rs!! Yee-haw!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: ard mhacha
Date: 29 May 02 - 04:57 PM

C`Mon, You mean you don`t know that Johnny Cash man, sure I bet a pound it`s the one and only Derrymacash. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 02 - 05:13 PM

G'wan witcha!! Derrymacash wouldna know a kitten heel from a pudding!! LOL!!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 30 May 02 - 01:23 AM

Welcome back, Áine!

I couldn't take time for this Challenge! until after the NW Folklife Festival, and I haven't read the other entries yet (except titles), so here's my humble offering. (I say "humble" because it's extremely derivative of the Winter Wonderland parody sung (and written?) by Bob Rivers. I also took the liberty of presuming to know the thieves' gender and motive.)

Genie §;- )

Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear
Tune: Winter Wonderland - Smith / Bernard, 1934
Parody lyrics by Genie (with insincere aplogies to Bob Rivers

Sirens wail, and I'm list'nin'.
On my brow, sweat is glist'nin'.
They're hot on our tail, but we ain't been nailed
Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear.

Gone away are the boxers,
And those drab cotton dockers,
I clutch my new thong, as we sneak along,
Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear

(bridge)
Lacy undies make me feel so naughty
Make my "glutes' and 'pecs" feel, oh, so sweet!
I love to feel 'em on my manly body
And give myself a wedgie for a treat!

Bustiers, bras and corsets
Fit so tight I gotta force it,
But it gives me a high
Havin' lace on my thigh,
So, I'm Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear.

Instrumental Break

Agent Provocateur's a
Maker of haute couture, so
We're clever enough
To be pinchin' their stuff
And Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear

Katie Moss and Liz Hurley
Are such cute little girlies,
But wait till you see
Bubba and me
Modelling our 'hot' new underwear!

(2nd bridge)
On our privates, no more plain old cotton,
Engineered for stodgy Parson Brown.
Folks say, "Are you married?"
I think, "Not!" -- When
I can do the job myself in silken gowns!"

Trouble is, when we wear 'em,
Struttin' like a Sultan's harem,
It's hard to conceal
That these bras were 'a steal'
When we walked off with the women's underwear.

line correction made per request by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 30 May 02 - 02:53 AM

Oops!
NON-RHYMING INFRACTION!

The first couplet should've been changed to:
"Sirens wail, I can hear 'em.
On my brow, sweat is glist'nin'. "

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 May 02 - 02:57 AM

Do you mean "Sirens wail, and I'm list'nin' "?

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 30 May 02 - 04:20 AM

Yes, Ma'am. How the heck did THAT happen, Suze?! I coulda SWORN I posted what you just posted, as my correction!!

Thanks for correcting my 'correction!' (I gotta hit the sack...)

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 30 May 02 - 05:43 PM

Aisle Of Lingerie
Parody of "Isle of Innisfree," based on "The Lake Isle Of Innisfree" by William Butler Yeats; tune: "Dreams of Alwyn"

I've met some folks who say that I'm a lecher,
And I've no doubt that what the say is right,
But, sure, a bloke is bound to be a lecher
With ladies' wearing things so sheer and tight.

And frilly undies set my heart a beatin'.
They take me where me fancy loves to play,
Especially when they're silk and have no seat in.
That's why I filched that Aisle Of Lingerie.

And when the moon is peeping through the panties
Of some fair damsel, on a windy day,
To cop a feel is all that I am after.
I'm once again seduced by lingerie.


I dream of ladies' dreamy mounds and valleys--
A luscious piece no man could e'er forego.
I love those 'birds' whose knickers fit so tightly
I get the shivers and my juices flow.

So searching for that precious stock I wandered;
"Provocateur's" storeroom I did behold.
The thongs and bustiers and bras I gathered,
And all the teddies that my arms could hold.

But, oh, alas, my dreams must be forgotten,
I dare not sell or give these things away,
Lest they should trace the footprints of my bold lust,
Still I'll enjoy my Aisle of Lingerie. (repeat last line)


typo corrected by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 02 - 07:53 PM

Brava, Genie!! You sure captured the Bold Lustalier viewpoint well!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Áine
Date: 30 May 02 - 08:02 PM

Genie - two hurt-my-sides-laughing entries!! Here are your B.L.O.B.s for these titillating tidbits:

Lacy undies make me feel so naughty
Make my "glutes' and 'pecs" feel, oh, so sweet!
I love to feel 'em on my manly body
And give myself a wedgie for a treat!

AND

And frilly undies set my heart a beatin'.
They take me where me fancy loves to play,
Especially when they're silk and have no seat in.
That's why I filched that Aisle Of Lingerie.


Fan-fanny-tastic!! ;-)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 31 May 02 - 04:11 PM

Shuck, 'twarn't nuthin'.

BTW, I meant to post a note telling all you other folks--Deda, Derry, Amos, Susan-- heck, ALL of youse!--what a riot your poetic musing are, but I accidentally posted my last entry over it, instead of below it. So, anyway, my belated kudos to you all!

(and I HAVE ROTFLMFAO!)

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 01 Jun 02 - 12:10 AM

Amos, your verse about handing out g-strings to the kiddies to attach to their kites or mailing them to girls for Christmas is "sheer" lunacy!

BTW, Susan, your lingerie spiritual is downright uplifting!

Derry, you're in exquisite form with:
"There was some that were see-through and some that were pee-through
On account of the fact that their gusset was split.
"That's handy!" said Mandy "When you're feeling randy
You lift up your skirt and for duty you're fit!"

Genie §;-D

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Genie
Date: 02 Jun 02 - 01:30 AM

You folks probably already caught this boo-boo, but [due to an overreaching computer "replace" command, no doubt] Yeats's poem title turned into "The Lake Aisle of Lingerie" instead of "The Lake Isle of Innisfree."

I don't suppose there's a Joe Clone lurking nearby who can correct it, is there? If not, I hope the readers see the humor in the screw-up!

[W.B., old boy, if you're turning over in your grave, my deepest apologies!]

Genie

typo corrected by mudelf per request ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: Áine
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 06:30 PM

Here you go, Challenge!rs -- The well-earned officially gilded and tossed Chips for your virtual mantels. What a great bunch of songs to 'restart' the Song Challenge! off with. Be on the lookout for Challenge! 82 . . . coming to your neighborhood very, very soon (hehehe):


Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

Land Of The Midnight Fun by Lonesome EJ
The Underwear Burglar's Lament by Amos

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

Agent Provocatuer by MMario
Aisle Of Lingerie by Genie
Folsum Prison Blues #679 by Guest, Johnny Cash
Secret Agent Provocateur by Bradypus
What Women Want by Pseudolus

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Don't Wear Any Pants That Are Made By The Chucks! by Isaac McKittery (a/k/a derrymacash)
The Underwear Haul by derrymacash
Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear by Genie

Winners Of The Golden Cow Chip Award With Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):

Paul And Silas by WYSIWYG
The Store Was Full Of Marvels by DonD
Try On This Underwear by Deda

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):

Pretty Boy And Agent Provocateur by McGrath of Harlow


Way to Go, Challenge!rs!!! -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 06:45 PM

A Mmemorial?

~S~