Words that are NOT nice to hear?

Subject: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:59 AM

Wake up.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Ribbit
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:13 AM

"Greetings your friends and neighbors have chosen you..." At least thats what my draft notice said.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:50 AM

"...we'll have to lance that..."

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:57 AM

Why haven't you finished that yet?
-The Boss-

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Ribbit
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:02 AM

"This flight has been overbooked" or "your flight has been delayed" especially at this time of year.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Troll
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:06 AM

"Some assembly required"
"Batteries not included"
"The car is making this funny noise"

troll

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:21 AM

"I'm married"
After he told me he was not.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Micca
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:32 AM

" I have developed this itch/discharge in a very personal area, and I thought you ought to know right away."

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Allan C.
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:45 AM

There's another Time/Life book that needs to be picked up at the post office.

You have already won...(IF you send in the winning entry).

(Doctor) Because of certain vitamin deficiencies you must eat a pint of brussels sprouts every day.

Your computer's CD player has developed an odd glitch and is somehow only able to play Wayne Newton MP3's.

Two thumbs up! (Give me a break...there just aren't that many good movies in the world.)

Your call is important to us...There are 15 callers ahead of you. You may expect a 28-minute wait.

I hope you didn't eat that. It was so old I was afraid to throw it out for the dog.

Temperatures will remain in the single digits for the next six days.

(Doctor) I've never seen or heard of anything remotely like that before.

(Doctor) Whatever it is, it is spreading incredibly quickly.

There is not sufficient memory available to run this program.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Jock Morris
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:49 AM

"I'm sorry, but your Mum's dead." Five years ago today and it still hurts like hell.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: bigchuck
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:02 AM

Sigmoidoscopy

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM

There is three feet of snow..Buses are not running, however, school is open'

Are you the head of the household ?

Good Morning, This is Revenue Canada calling.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: MMario
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:21 AM

the absolute worst....

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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:24 AM

Oh that's a good one MMario

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:27 AM

Hello, is that Mr (mispronounces surname), I'm Trcaey/Wayne calling from **** doubleglazing.....
RtS

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Grab
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:32 AM

Proctologist.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: alison
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:40 AM

I assume you fellas don't like "awww, don't worry, it doesn't matter, I'm sure it happens to other men sometimes too." *grin*

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:42 AM

This won't hurt a bit.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:45 AM

My surveyor would like to send your lawyer a card in return. He's not sure whether it will open or not, he can't guarantee that it is made of genuine cardboard and he hasn't checked any wiring, plumbing or drainage, if present. He doesn't know if it has paper mites or fungal infestation. He can't be held responsible for any loss or injury caused by his advice though he thinks it is worth about 50pence but advises you get your own surveyor to look at it. His bill is in the post.
RtS

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM

I think I better check into the NYCFTTS over Xmas! I posted this to the WRONG thread!
Back on the 3rd Jan, folks, have a good one.
RtS

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM

"Yes, your bum does look big in that!"
"Ladies & Gentlemen, there is no cause for panic"
"Enlisted person [insert name here], you will accompany Mr. Spok, Doctor McCoy, and me, to the surface of this apparantly safe & uninhabited planet"
"We can still be friends"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST,big__bad__b
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:58 AM

There's a week until Christmas, and the mall roof collapsed. (I live in Sarnia On. If you haven's heard, this actually happened last week!!)

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Midchuck
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:03 AM

"Our budget won't permit us to pay you anything for playing, but it's great exposure for you."

P.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM

I'm from the Government - I'm here to help you.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:08 AM

"You can't miss it", after just giving directions.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:15 AM

This is your Captain speaking...
RtS

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:26 AM

"The United States Army regrets to inform you......."
PAP smear. Mammogram.

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Hollowfox
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:29 AM

Ooops...

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:31 AM

"that part is back-ordered"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Matt_R
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:40 AM

"Let's be friends."

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:43 AM

"Hmmmm.......I'm afraid they should have repaired that mitral valve during the bypass."

Spaw

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM

"It's malignant"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: MMario
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM

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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:04 PM

Mudcat...

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: annamill
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:16 PM

"Patrick was born with a coarctation of the aorta, a main artery coming out of the heart."

In deferance to WesleyS. I'm thinking of ya.

Love, annamill

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: mousethief
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM

Re: kids
---Mom, make him stop doing that.
---The quarter grade doesn't matter because it doesn't show up on my transcript.
---We need to have a talk about your son.

Re: work
---I need to see you in my office. Now.
---Remember me? Remember that program you wrote for me 2 years ago?
---All the regular Monday data files were bad. I re-ran it and it should be okay now. Re-run all your regular weekly programs.

Re: spouse
---I'll be working late.
---It's just a scratch.
---I don't want to be married to you anymore. (this one really sucks -- take my word for it!)

Re: eating out
---Sir, the cook says we're out of that too.
---Here's your--oops!
---If I told you what it was you wouldn't want to eat it.

Re: the men in blue
---Ordinarily I'd just give you a warning but...
---Sir, we have your son in custody...
---I regret to inform you... (may I *never* hear this one!)

Re: radio traffic reports
---Major blocking accidents on all southbound routes
---And now the weather (after not mentioning any of my possible routes!)
---If you're in that traffic jam on I-5 south of Midway, be prepared to wait a long time...

Alex

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: voyager
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:06 PM

"you have the right to remain silent"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Jeri
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:09 PM

I think what Wes heard is way beyone "not nice," and goes into the realm of terrifying. Annamill, thanks for remembering him. I hope little Patrick is doing better today.

On death announcements, the hospital called at 2:30 in the morning to tell me my mother had passed. I knew before I picked up the phone - why else would anyone call at 2:30 AM? I remember wondering how long they were going to beat around the bush before they got to it. They didn't. They told me right away, then stayed on the phone in case I had any questions. They also told me her heart apparently just stopped when she was asleep - no pain, no struggle.

It's thread creep I know, but these things are just as "not nice" to say as they are to hear,

Crazy Eddie, you'd think those enlisted guys on Star Trek would have figured it out by the end of the first season. "No Captain, sorry. You're going to beam me down there and the alien monster that doesn't show up on scanners because he's immitating a rock is going to appear out of nowhere and suck my brains out. I'll scream, you'll all come running, but...nope, no way am I going down to that planet!"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: CamiSu
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:28 PM

Oh Jeri! Here's a long hug! I'm so sorry, BUT I'm glad it seems that she did not suffer. (my Dad's passing was not so peaceful, so I know) And now I pray for you (and your mum and her next adventure) and Patrick.

CamiSu

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM

"I want to seperate"
"your dad died"
"your mom died"
"sorry, I can't help you"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: campfire
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM

"But..."

campfire

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM

"Don't panic"

"There's nothing to worry about but..."

"You're well enough to go back to work"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Caitrin
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:28 PM

Re: school
"What's not to get?"
"It's not that hard!"
"Due tomorrow."
"Ecoute et repete, Catrine...."

Re: cars
"It's the transmission."
"Where's -this- go?"
"Oops."

Re: parents
"Well, -life's- not fair."
"When I say eleven, I mean -eleven-. Not 11:30, not 11:15..."
"What were you -thinking-!?" You weren't.
"You didn't forget the , did you?" 'cause you -know- you did...
"How many times do I have to tell you...?"

Re: Relationships
"I have a girlfriend."
"This just isn't working out."
"I want to say I love you but I can't."
"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bed?"

Re: Space
"I can't do that, Dave."

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:30 PM

After sending in a beer sample to the state lab for certification - "Dear Sir, we're sorry to inform you that your horse has diabetes !"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: SDShad
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM

"Here. Smell this."

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Rowana (at work)
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:43 PM

"We expect to achieve these staff reductions through attrition." (My REALLY big communications company merged with another company in June which resulted in a combined workforce of 260,000 people. The exec officers want less people. You KNOW that tens of thousands will not be retiring! Guess what happens next.)

Hiding under my desk with 4 1/2 months until I'm pension eligible, Rowana

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Mickey191
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:54 PM

Voice on phone,"Your Chimney's on fire." "You've got a flat." "I smell something burning" 'We'll only stay a few minutes." "I think it's broken" "oh, it won"t cost much." "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Matt_R
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 05:55 PM

From school: (and I quote)

"I strongly suggest you improve your drawing ability."

"The scale of your large leterform is so big that it doesn't leave much left to do interesting things with in the interaction between the two letterforms. I would suggest reducing the scale and going back into the investigation searching for greater interest in these compositions. These compositions are thin in interest. Centering one letterform in two out of three also stagnates the composition. UNACCEPTABLE."

Oh, the life of an graphic art student!

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 06:03 PM

I did this to a chum once while cleaing out a house we were moving into.. he was upstairs, I was in the basement... He heard my voice come up torugh the the floor...

"Hey Ev... does this look like an egg-sack to you?!?"

;-)

Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear?
From: Melani
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 06:06 PM

"May I see your driver's license?"