BS: Is Golf Rubbish?

Subject: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:19 AM

I reckon golf is rubbish, must be the most stupid sport there is, its not even a proper sport, its just rubbish.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:31 AM

Is this something else you condemn out of hand having never tried it jfH?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Sooz
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:32 AM

A good walk spoiled - (I tried it once)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:36 AM

The only other sleep-inducing television besides cricket; better than counting sheep-----

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: el ted
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:45 AM

Yes it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:47 AM

Glad you all agree!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:49 AM

anyway=instead of hitting the balls with them sticks, why don't they throw them, be a lot easier for them sureley?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:59 AM

I wouldn't know a golf cue from a football raquet...

It's all balls to me!

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rasener
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:09 AM

The problem with golf, is that it is very difficult to learn and requires a lot of practice and concentration to play it well.
It took me a year to get an official handicap.
Haven't played it for a couple of years now, so my handicap will have gone out the window.
It also takes up a lot of time and is very expensive to play especially if you keep on losing your balls.
Having said that, I think it is a great game to play, but can't watch it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:25 AM

Well if Douglas Bader could play without legs I'm sure your handicap won't stop you.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: ced2
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:02 AM

I find watching paint drying an infinitely more interesting passtime!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,JOHN FROM ELSIE`S BAND
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:05 AM

To joHn From Hlul,
                   The Most Royal and Ancient game of golf is certainly not rubbish, either to play or to watch the expert practitioners. You could descibe my game as rubbish on occasions: much to the amusement of the band I once lost two clubs whilst playing at St.Enedoc, Rock on one wet and wild day. I find that my music and golf are good companions as was the case for Frank Crummitt. (Have I spelt that correctly?)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:07 AM

Only sport/game I know where you can compete on equal terms from as young as you can be taught to play it right up until the day you drop.

Very few amateur cricketers; footballers; rugby players; tennis players, will ever get to play their respective sports at, Lord's; Wembley; Twickenham; Wimbledon. An amateur golfer can play all the courses that host the major championships with one exception, Augusta.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 07:56 AM

If he can afford the green fees.
Golf is not a sport, it is an elitist pastime for snobs who have no dress sense.
It's shite.
IMNSHO.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:18 AM

Compared to what it costs for a day out to watch a premiership football game, a days golf works out fairly cheap.

Most popular sports cost the individual playing it around £1000 for equipment plus the membership of any club they belong to. Any more than that and it becomes too expensive to become popular.

Golf in Scotland is considered to be an artesans game, golf in England is considered to be a "professional" mans game (Doctor's, solicitors, etc), no idea how that came about, probably dates back to the fact that James Ist and VIth played it so the English regarded it as a "royal" game.

"Golf is not a sport, it is an elitist pastime for snobs who have no dress sense."

Too many people play it world-wide for it not to be considered a sport. The latter part of that quoted sentence Strollin', identifies you as being a perfectly balanced individual - a chip on each shoulder.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:41 AM

I LOVE it! It's great! I don't play it, mind you (except a couple of times years back). But it's wonderful.

You see, I live a few yards down from the second tee -- the second fairway is an extension of my back yard. This means I unobstructed views of some lovely mountains, a place to cross-country ski in the winter, and entertainment all year 'round.

We can sit on the deck or the patio, sipping cool drinks, our feet up, and watch men and women (and some children, but they're a different story) play pasture pool. Laughed myself silly last weekend at a guy who took at least six swipes at a ball and missed it every time -- he finally picked it up and took off in his golf cart.

Now, the kids are different. They're out with their folks and have not yet lost the truth: it's a game and you should have fun with it. So they do, and they're a joy to watch.

Lots of neighbors walk their dogs on the golf course in the evening after it closes. "Play the ball where it lies" applies here, too, I suppose....

And it's a source of gifts. So far, I've collected five free golf balls from my back yard. NEW golfballs. EXPENSIVE golfballs, or so I'm told. Since I don't play I gave them away as a birthday present to someone who does. Saved me ten bucks, easy.

No one will let me do MY golf thing, though. Even my wife won't let me shoot golf. I figured that living "on" a golf course, I could shoot golf, but no. You can't even get those uncooperative golfers to whack the ball when you yell "PULL!" Of course, if you shoot it you have to eat it, and them golfs have a really hard skin, there's hard TO skin, they're all stringy inside, and if you ever do get them cooked tender they taste like rubber.

Yeah, golf's generally okay.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Risky Business
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:00 AM

If you described golf to a young innocent child, I think the child would immediately fail to comprehend why grown people go to such an effort to place a small ball into a small hole a certain number of times, write down the results, then argue, contend, market and propound on the results. At this point it would be wise to stop because the child would never believe there are whole libraries, careers, foundations, landscapes devoted to the subject.

Some children grow up more credulous than others. Some learn that people of puissance put, that swingers swing, that if you're good at it, you can go on TV and sell Buicks. So these children bend, they acquire an interest, some fall into the devotional dovecote and make it their passion.

Others will never see its beauty, never know its thrall. Some of these will remain uninterested, and others will learn to feign for fortune that they, too, understand and believe, hiding a pathology of uninterest.

In short, golf is precisely like religion.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,Hugh Jampton
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:07 AM

Hallelujah!!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,El Bosque del tigre
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:27 AM

The thing about golf is that it's very hard to play if you're piss drunk. So I suppose, that for someone who is always piss drunk, golf would be rubbish.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Betsy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:36 AM

Golf is a sport - and many people view ALL sport as being rubbish.
What is the point of golf or any other sport ?.
It's an inate thing especially in the male of the species to physically or mentally challenge another Male(s) either singularly or in teams.
I would much prefer men to be engaging in this ( some see as pointless ) activity or pursuit rather than , punching each other , fighting in armies and killing each other etc.
The game itself doesn't demand that you have to be a 6 Foot hulk or physically powerful person , persons of all statures can compete equally ,because the game demands a high degree of technique in order to hit the ball great distances - strength and muscle count for little or nothing in this game.
Many golf courses have added to the well-being of the countryside and provide local people with jobs.
Golfers aren't killing anyone, they're generally social well mannered and adjusted - they spend their money playing their daft game.
We're back to social bullying again, and minding other peoples business - I say let them get on with it, so, back to the question...
No, Golf is not rubbish, if it had have been, it wouldn't have survived for so many years and largely unchanged ,(like some of our traditional songs ).
Some sports are rubbish - but golf isn't one of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:37 AM

I `ad that Nick Faldo in my cab the other day all done up like a pox doctor`s clerk in `is golf clothes. `e `ad a great big smile on `is face and `e said, I just got two birdies. I said that`s two under par then ennit? `e said, nah, it`s two in the bag. then `e showed me a couple of dead pheasants!!
What am I like?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,earthling
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:43 AM

So I can't tempt you to a round or two, followed by a heady evening of line dancing then jOhn?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM

are golfers sexist ...you bet your life they are and elitest.
Golfers are fit? then why do they need someone to carry their clubs.
Why not make it more interesting and get them to RUN between the shots. And the fastest round in the fewest strokes wins ..now thats what I call a proper sport.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:57 AM

P.S. for the record I used to manage a Golf Course.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: el ted
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:14 AM

Women are rubbish at golf, and clog the course up for the men.They should only be allowed to play mid week.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,earthling
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:31 AM

Golf courses would be very peaceful though, were it not for the golfers.

Top quality grass to lounge about on, little undulating hills, occasional sandpits here and there, a decent bar at the end...... and they are probably home to a varied selection of feathered birds warbling away. Kind of like Telly Tubbyland for big people.

Down with golf, up with courses.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:15 PM

Gold is a fascinating subject...

Wait. That was a typo. Yes, gold is a fascinating subject, but it's not the subject of this thread.

Ahem! Golf is a fascinating subject. On the one hand, it's a totally ridiculous game if you look closely at what actually goes on, but on the other hand it's a great game for people who want to get obsessively perfectionist about something and master the discipline and intricacy needed to excell at it.

The anal retentive personality should really appreciate the merits of gold...ARRGHH!...I mean, golf!

It's hilarious to sit on a handy vantage point and watch such types grinding their teeth and tearing their hair out because they sliced or hooked or something like that. It's even funnier to watch their reaction when their ball lands in the sand trap again or better yet, in the water, or even better yet, when it vanishes into a bunch of scrub forest at the edge of the golf course. When you consider that all this is totally arbitrary, completely meaningless to anyone except the player, and will make no difference to the evolution of man or animal, it gets even funnier.

But it IS meaningful to the player, and people desire to have meaning in their lives. If they cannot find meaning in things that do matter, then they will find meaning in things that don't...like golf or football!

Only children play golf in a wise and enlightened manner. They have fun whacking the ball around. They don't care how many strokes it takes to reach the objective. When the ball lands in the woods or the sand trap it only adds to the adventure. This is brilliant, and is the way everyone might better play the game if they want to have a really good time.

However, I can see value to the adult approach too, come to think of it, because....it teaches discipline, accuracy, patience, concentration, focus, and all kinds of other good things like that. It could even teach serenity.

Given that, I believe there IS an enlightened way to play golf (and even football), if you do it to improve yourself and for the sheer love of the activity itself...rather than merely to "win".

FORE!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:21 PM

I enjoy golf, it does take a while to get any good at it. but then less than 10% of golfers ever break a 100, so I hear.
I do enjoy the camaraderie of playing with my buddies, but I dislike how its become a huge business and is geared to make you spend money, on green fees, balls, all sorts of accessories.
It is good exercise as you spend 4-5 hours walking in the fresh air,
unless you ride around in a cart - which defeats the purpose.
On the downside golf courses use massive amount of chemicals, & water
to keep that fake natural look, even in areas where courses are surrounded by desert.
Id rather go hiking, its free, and just as good or better for exercise. (and less frustrating)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Betsy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:22 PM

Straight down the middle - from a well-balanced Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Sooz
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:00 PM

What about crazy golf then?
Did anyone hear the news item this morning about the German Shepherd dog who had eaten a gut full of golf balls? I'll try to find a link.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Sooz
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:03 PM

click here

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:24 PM

I understand that there used to be a Newfoundland dog a few houses down from mine that retrieved golf balls. Even from the greens. You can imagine funny it was to everyone except the golfers.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:37 PM

Golf...

I've never see a single golf course (o.k... one that didn't have a windmill and a waterfall to play through) that didn't look like a total waste of space to me... An arrogent, elietist past time... Which, like smoking fat ugly cigars, is now bing taken up by the middle class so they can pretend they are upper crust...

As said, more or less, in the movie "Falling Down" "Look at all this space, there should be families having picknicks here... children playing here... instead there just you two idiots in those stupid hats..."

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Once Famous
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:48 PM

Golf does suck.

And many people who play it smell bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: DougR
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:22 PM

To each his own. I love to play golf. I wish I was better at it though.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:38 PM

You'll never get to be invited to the Empire Club and get to hobnob with VIPs like Brian Mulroney and Mike Harris with a rebellious, commie-troublemaker attitude like that, Clinton! :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: ducksy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:11 PM

The golf course was the first place i encountered a bit of honesty ,respect,and decency.I was a snooker champion at seventeen,a fairly good boxer ,played soccer at a good standard,drank and bullshitted for twenty years,sang in front of thousands of people,recorded a few albums but ,nothing beats the thrill of hitting a good drive down the fairway or sticking a six iron ten feet from the flag and sinking the putt.WHAT A GAME.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:27 PM

Do you promise LH?????

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: bflat
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:33 PM

No, it is not! It is recreation that happens to be for the most part dignified. People, who play the game, tend to be cordial and polite unlike those in many other sporting activities. A round with a good chum is splendid. It is also quite difficult to execute well and there is a great deal of strategy. The only thing I dislike is that it requires so much time to play.

Ellen

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strick
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 12:09 AM

Why is golf like a strip club? Because both cost lots of money and send men away frustrated.

On the other hand, if you like it why not play? Me? I'd rather mow the lawn than play golf on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:29 AM

Surely for an activity to be described as 'sport' there is a prerequisite of a reasonable degree of athleticism required of its participants? Take a look at any golf course and observe the legions of fat old men like me ambling and shuffling their way around the course, or even driving round in little electric buggies (what sort of exercise is that?). It's not sport, its in the same class as darts and snooker (for you guys in the US, snooker is pool for people with more than one brain-cell) - it's a pastime for people who either can't play proper sports, or who see it as a means of ascending the social ladder.

Teribus - no chips on either shoulder, I have ample opportunity to play (there's a very good course where I live, owned and designed by Solheims who have their Ping golf-club factory half a mile from my house), and certainly more-than-ample financial means. I just have things to occupy me which are more interesting and infinitely more exciting! And I refuse to wear those horrible pullovers and silly shoes.

:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 06:30 AM

VW make very good cars, so I have to say NO their Golf is OK. (European reference)

Though I do like the parody "A good drive spoiled"

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:33 AM

I read of a match years ago in which the players crossed golf, polo, and field hockey.

Something about running up to the ball, screaming, and whacking it with the club as you ran by wasn't appreciated by the other people on the course, so your men were thrown off.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:52 AM

Golf is elitist and ergo ' rubbish ' it's a bit like tennis and skiing, you don't get a lot of kids from council estates doing it.
Opera and ballet are just as bad, workinf class people just can't afford it.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Risky Business
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 11:35 AM

Song Link (ha-ha): Dan Bern's "Tiger Woods"

Betsy, you raised a good point back there which went unaddressed, that most sports might be rubbish. My answer is that most sports bear a resemblance to sublimated warfare, y'know, with teams on each side. U.S. football, european football, lacrosse, hockey, basketball. Even bowling is a test of marksmanship.

What the heck is golf? Having read a vast amount of golfing history (nothing) I conclude that golf comes from Scotland. I know that land used to be important in Scotland. Maybe golf was a method of controlling land "I'm going to hit this very small ball with this very long and hard club with a knob on the end. Wherever it comes down is 'also' mine. Oh, I missed, well, My sergeant at arms Mulligan says I get another go." Maybe it was a not so subtle way of one-upsmanship, seeing who had longer sticks or bigger clubs, much as the robots of "Tripping the Rift" strap their members to their waists (Another song tie-in: King Missile: "Detachable Penis"). This might be a big issue in a country where the guys wear skirts. (More songs here).

I have another theory involving aliens....


This morning on the Yankee public radio Deepak Chopra was putting against Scott (SCOT!) Simon and stressing on the inner peace of golf.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 01:38 PM

Sooz: "Did anyone hear the news item this morning about the German Shepherd dog who had eaten a gut full of golf balls? I'll try to find a link."

Good pun.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 03:36 PM

God, a Golf War thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:33 PM

I'm not so much in favor of what golf does in terms of consuming resources like water and land, but JtS likes to play golf, and I like that he likes to play golf, so I guess it sort of balances out there. We have a practice net out behind our trailer here in the mobile home park in the wilds of Alabamy. It's an interesting cultural juxtaposition seeing JtS out behind the trailer, hitting a few golf balls into the net.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Scoville
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:50 PM

I always thought golf courses looked like great wastes of good dog-walking or horseback-riding space. The town where I went to college had a small "country club" with a golf course but they were eternally fighting with the beaver and muskrats that lived in the water traps. I thought that was pretty funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 06:15 PM

I am a theoretical expert in golf. I don't play but I work with a lot of people who do.


Doug C