BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?

Subject: RE: BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?
From: GUEST,Jack The Sailor
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 10:18 AM

>>>I was in the Southest US this past summer, it was wonderful feeling simply talking to fellow shoppers and shop assistants in the same accent. That welcoming friendliness of being home perhaps. I don't get same in like environment in UK. I get shoppers knocking me aside, trodding on my feet and running into my shins with push chairs and snarly unhelpful shop assistants.<<<

I have to agree VT. The politeness is a major perk of everyday life in the south. I grew up in Newfoundland where friendliness is considered more of a virtue than pro forma politeness. I lived in Ontario for ten years where politeness is the rule to the point when I have frequently seen one stranger demand it of another. The South, at least the half dozen states where I have lived and worked, generally combines friendliness with an easy going politeness. It makes chores and errands outside the house a lot more tolerable.

Subject: RE: BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 01:25 PM

In the late 70's, when feminism was still in its Taliban stage of evolution, I held a door for a female, to be blasted with a violent stream of invective.

Subject: RE: BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?
From: Noreen
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 12:59 PM

I find I am now taking note of these phrases and exchanges, and have decided that 'you're welcome' has quite serious import: I would only use it if something significant was being thanked for.

Mostly, exchanges consist of repeated thank yous, as mentioned above; at work in the library, I say 'thank you' when books are handed over (reply 'thank you') then 'thank you' when library card is handed over, 'thank you' when I hand both back, (reply 'thank you') to which I usually reply 'Thanks'.

Now, if somebody asked me to find a book for them for which I had to leave my desk, for example, and they thanked me for what I had done, I would say 'you're welcome' or even 'you're very welcome'!

Subject: RE: BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?
From: Sleepy Rosie
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 01:03 PM

I was raised to be polite, and to speak 'correctly' in the midst of a rough seventies council housing estate. It didn't befriend me to my peers...!! But I have since learned the value of formal cordialities.

It's deeply sad to me, as a woman who is fiercely pro-equality, amongst many other err potentially contaversial 'political' matters, that some women of my generation and younger, take offence at nice gents who simply do what feels right and natural to them.

Sometimes, as a woman you get the elderly gent who insists on offering you his seat on the bus. The greatest difficulty I have in such a situation, is declining in a manner that does not offend. "Thankyou so much. But I'm getting off shortly" Is my response in such an ocassion. I admire the man immensley for his gentility though.

There is a place and a time for correct confrontation, but when someone is simply expressing their socially motivated impulses in the best possible manner, that is not it.

I'm always a little 'wrong footed' when a gent holds open a door for me. But it's up to me to deal with that unexpected feeling. It only ever happens with men of forty or over, and in fact in my personal experience of close male aquaintances, has probably occured most predictably with an exceedingly forward-minded homosexual gent friend of mine, who is now in in his late sixties.

This man has lived through generations of social predjudice and abuse, icluding bricks through his London apartment windows. And I find it warm and charming, that he always retains his gentlemanly style with me. If he takes me out for tea, he always holds open the door for me. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to feeling like 'a lady'.

Subject: RE: BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?
From: gnu
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 01:37 PM

It just seems that good manners are perceived as weekness these days. The media is littered with people intending the crass to be humourous. Children "learn" ill-humour and the perception of weekness. Sad, indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: Do you say 'You're welcome'?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 03:32 PM

We also say "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you". I have to admit to saying "no worries" too, but it depends on the context. I'm not sure it's an age thing though, I'm 28 and I know my younger cousins also use the phrases. I think it is more to do with upbringing and use of maners. We are instilling to Harry (and will do with the twins) that he has to say please and thank you and later you're welcome. He can manage "ta" at the moment but he's only 19 months.