BS: What get's you torqued???

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 01:44 PM

Anything that has "As Seen On TV" on it.

Condoms that are much too small.
It's hard to get the large ones anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 01:47 PM

Those annoying emails promoting penis reductions.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 02:04 PM

A fellow tries to open a God free post, and whatdaya know. God takes it over. It just torques me too tight, it does.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 03:02 PM

Instead of complaining I just put on my tee shirt that says I'm grumpy, don make it worse."

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 03:13 PM

Ed T... "It's hard to get the large ones anymore."

Hahahahahaaaaheeeheheheheheee

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 03:36 PM

An oldie, but goodie:

Does size matter in india?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 03:38 PM

People on the Mudcat butting into arguments argumentatively telling other people how they should argue.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 03:43 PM

There is even a size chart.

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/4357276/condom-size-chart

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 05:03 PM

ED T... from the link... "The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms."

Ahhhhh... that don't matter a whit. Ask any womam. It ain't about length. The same goes for condoms.

BTW... I found them way too tight when I was a lad. But that's a good thing. And I never discussed this at length with any of the girls I went with. Never even came up.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 05:09 PM

Thanks for mentioning God, EdT. That allows me to ....Blah, blah, blah!

I think the stautes of limitation have run out so I will tell this on myself. When I was quite a bit younger I took my family to Disneyland, Anaheim CA. and parked for quick egress at the end of a diagonal slot, that is, with the nose of the car leading onto the exit lane. At the end of the long grueling day I loaded the kids and the wife in, started the engine and just as I was beginning to pull onto the road when an empty tour bus parked right in fornt of me, boxing me in. I jumped out and told the driver the situation. He didn't care. He didn't have the time to just pull up a few feet and let me out. He just kept on walking away. I had no idea how long he would be or when He'd be back. Real thoughtful fellow. I was torqued! It took me about ten minutes but I finally managed to jockey my was out of that tight spot. I wonder how long it took him to get the bus tire changed?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 05:43 PM

"Thanks for mentioning God"

Shhh! Be Quiet!
They haven't found this one yet.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 05:45 PM

the quiet thread
Shhh!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:00 PM

Plastic, anything plastic. I bought a candy bar ... a candy bar, I had to use sissors to open the dang thing ... why all the plastic ... everything is plastic.   I hear tell they even make womenz with plastic boobs now ... go figure

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:03 PM

Styrofoam packing, (for example, Styrofoam peanuts) that get's all over the floor when you get the item packed in it.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:19 PM

Just so I don't break up the mudcat God tradition on every thread
"God said he doesn't like plastic either"

Soy ... what is soy about, soy milk, soy hamburgers ... what is a soy anyway ... where's the beef, where's the cow ... soy ...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:37 PM

"...that get's all over the floor"

unnecessary apostrophes... ☺

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:42 PM

Thanks:)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:48 PM

Bill
Priceless LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:56 PM

When you go to someones house, and the bathroom smells very bad, like someone just torqued a moonfish.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:14 PM

Cat Litter boxes!!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:15 PM

How about going to vending machine, pay for a bag of chips ... and press the button only to watch it get stuck halfway down so you are out your money and your chips ...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:22 PM

Small Fonts on plastic credit cards or auto club cards, especially the phone numbers.

Letters rather than numbers in listed phone numbers, Like 555-fish

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM

Ah, yes Ed...bathrooms. Single women who keep a spotless house..EXCEPT for under the rim & the toilet seat.....because they never raise it! I have been startled a few times.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:57 PM

And how hot does a cup of coffee have to be anyway. Buy a cup when you are on the road, can't drink it for 100 miles ... burn your mouth off

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:59 PM

and those newfangled hot air hand dryers in the mens room, what was wrong with paper towels, you stand there rubbing you hands waiting fer em to dry only to wipe em dry on your pants

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: kendall
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 08:02 PM

People who can't pronounce simple words such as:
Nuclear
Antarctica
Orangutan
Particularly

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:42 AM

I am suprised more people didn't run with this thread, it could be very funny with the wit people here have

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:58 AM

Quotes from Torque (2004)

"You got loud pipes, but you ain't sayin' nothing!"

"What is it about driving cars that makes you all such assholes?"

"It's amazing what you can do when you have no choice".

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 10:19 AM

People who see everything from way back then through rose tinted glasses and can't accept that not everything was perfect and hunky dory. I am thinking ringworm, rickets, wife beaters, inequality, slavery, child labour, the workhouse to name a few.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:30 PM

Whenever a new loaf of bread is brought into the house, my wife starts eating from it immediately, ignoring the fact that there are 2 or 3 slices left of the old loaf. Once when cleaning out the refrigerator, I found five bread bags, each with 2 or 3 slices in them, all pushed to the back of the shelf where I couldn't see them, all dried out or moldy. I hate that.

When I visit someone's house, and I need to pee, and they have one of those fabric covers on the toilet seat lid, and maybe another fabric cover surrounding the tank, and they are both so bulky that when I lift the lid, it won't stay up by itself, so I have to stand there and hold the lid up with one hand while I do my business with the other hand. Now, I'm so tall, that in order to keep my hand on the lid, I have to bend over slightly, which puts me off my aim. Or else I have to move around to the side of the toilet, if there's room, and try to hold the toilet seat up with my knee, which is also awkward and puts me off my aim. Or else I risk having the lid fall down while I'm in mid-stream.

When the local TV station uses a "teaser" to get you to watch their news. At around 9pm you hear "A common food additive may have already given your kids cancer. Tune in at 10 to find out what it is." Aargh! In the same number of words, they could have told me what it is.

When the national networks announce their program times, giving only the time on the east and west coasts, as if no one lived in the central or mountain time zones.

When I pass by a newsstand, and a magazine catches my eye with an interesting blurb on the front cover. I won't buy a magazine unless I'm fairly sure the content lives up to the promise, so I pick it up and try to find the corresponding article. The blurb on the cover doesn't give the page number, so I have to find it in the table of contents first. But the table of contents isn't on page 2 or 3; it's hidden behind several pages of advertising. So I find the table of contents, and scan the titles of the articles, but nothing quite matches what is on the cover. It is like solving a word puzzle to try to figure out which article corresponds to which blurb. So I have to keep flipping back and forth from the cover to the table of contents, matching titles and figuring out by process of elimination which article must be the one that the blurb refers to. So now I know the page number, and I go in search of the article itself. But even this is hard to do because most of the pages don't have numbers! Page numbers would spoil their lovely advertising layouts! So I finally find the article, and it turns out that the topic isn't quite what I thought it would be, or else it's only half a page long, not worth the price of the magazine. That's why I almost never buy magazines off the rack.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:48 PM

Teasers and blurbs suck!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:52 PM

Amen to the fancy-junk-on-toilet-seats thing. I've had at least an occasion or so when the damn thing stayed up just long enough for me to turn on the hose, and then slammed down.

The local supermarket just "refined" the process of self-checking out groceries and paying by check. Now you have to scan stuff out, take the check to a clerk, get it processed, receive the check back, then return to the checkout line and sign on an electronic pad. If the scanner can process and accept all the rest of the information on the check, it can process and accept your signature just as easily as the electronic pad can. On the other hand, it's been noted that the elecronic pad will generally accept any scribble whatever as a signature, which makes going back to sign on it (while the next customer waits for the whole process) meaningless.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:55 PM

My roommate in college and i would play practical jokes all the time. Well he was like clock work, would wake up in the morning head to the shower but before hand always went to the first stall to do his business. The toilet seats were all white at that time. I went in before him and covered the toilet seat with white elmers glue ... Yup he plopped down on it ... LOL ... figured I would glue him to the seat for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 01:12 PM

Your a sadist, Dan; it's a good thing you didn't decide to use contact cement.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 03:51 PM

OD! We're half way there!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:48 PM

That was you, oldster???

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:56 PM

What really torques me is anyone who changes the spelling of their name, to make it sound the same as it did before. :)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:05 PM

yea he got kinda torqued with me afterwords LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:07 PM

A lot of anger here. Breathe in breathe out. Savor those pollutants...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:14 PM

I had this first date in college with a certified beauty queen, A blue eyed blond haired knockout. Spent a ton of time gettin all gussied up. My roommate right before I left coated the black phone with a thick layer of black shoe polish, ya know that stuff that is really greasy and ya buff off afterwords. He went to another room and called me and I answered the phone.   

Not knowing it, I went on my first date with her with a big black ear !! LOL ... hence I glued him to to toilet ...

got me kinda torqued ... she never did go out with me again ...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:19 PM

Thanksgiving torquey?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:19 PM

be quiet Sins or I will card ya !!!
:-)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:26 PM

I tell ya, that skunk that nailed me last summer torqued me up pretty good.. I was gonna gun him down until Lizzie gave me the guilt trip. But if I ever see him again I am going to drop my drawers and pee on his leg and see how he likes it ... dang rodent !!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:38 PM

Those wo speak with a torqued tongue.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:42 PM

So Dan...that blonde in college was a torque wench?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:44 PM

Bill Sadly I didn't get that far to find out ... for some reason she didn't care for black eared country boys I guess LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:21 PM

dog crap really torques me up also.. I got a huge fenced in back yard. The wiener dogs can go out and run play do their thing. I keep it very clean .. well I also had a small brown carpet outside near the back door when you come in that way. I properly named the carpet "the magical shit disappearing rug" cause that little hairy wiener dog that has an acre of fenced in land to do her business would at times, crap on it and you could absolutely not see it until you stepped on it . Boy that would get me torqued ... carpet is gone for good. Go figure

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:30 PM

So, OD, You were the original Black-eared Pees (on a skunk)?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:31 PM

Tom
correct !

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:49 PM

thats it I am gonna change my name now ... just to torque off the TSA agents
gonna put my apostrophe in it ... o'lddude   yup