BS: Light on - no one in

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 03:46 AM

We're a bit Kitty Litter here today - tons of the stuff around, but none in the box....

We came up with a box 30 short of a CT200 yesterday, but you have to work for the Inland Revenue for that one to be funny. Ah, the IRS, where even the toilet paper is known by a number...... However, they stopped printing "Government Property" on it.

Loo roll in the fridge eh? That is usually a sign that there was curry or chilli on the menu the previous evening..... I put mine in the bath once, whilst I cleaned the bin it stands on, then promptly turned the bath taps on to rinse out the bin.....

~And what is this about cheesy popcorn?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Homeless
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 07:40 AM

Strong - like bear, smart - like tractor.

I've been known to walk out of the house and get in my car. Realizing I've forgotten something go back into the house. Return to the car, then back to the house for something else. My record is six trips to the car before leaving, and I still forgot something. And that was when I was in my early 20s. It's supposed to get worse?

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Troll
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 07:47 AM

Homeless---Whats supposed to get worse?

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Homeless
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 08:11 AM

Uhh... Senior moments? Does that mean that when I'm 60 I'll have to make 18 trips to the car before I can leave?

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Callie
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 08:25 AM

Beanster - you have made me cry I'm laughing so much!! And now I have to run to the loo [insert loo break here]!!

Dumb as a box of hair.

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

When I was a schoolgirl I went to buy a 40 cent postage stamp and asked the clerk how much I owed him!!

Two weeks ago I forgot to go to my (only second) singing lesson. I felt bad so didn't ring the teacher. Then I felt worse. Then I couldn't sleep. So I rang her and apologised and rescheduled for this morning. This morning I went off to work and ... forgot my singing lesson. I've rescheduled til TOMORROW morning.

--Callie

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Mbo
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 08:40 AM

I still like mine...I got it from a VEY bizarre but memorable text computer game from England. Much of the sayings from that game have been absorbed into my sister & I's vocubulary--"A few coupons short of a toast rack" now where else but in England would you find something like that? Ohh...running short on time here...popcorn story later tonight...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 09:31 AM

One puff short of a possum concerto...?

Just a thought.

mcmoo

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 08:20 PM

Callie,

I love the wheel is turning but the hamster's dead! lololol

I thought of a few more funny, stupid things but they occurred in a written context...

I used to work at a public relations company and one of the account execs had a new secretary who was very sweet but couldn't type to save her life. There was a letter that was sent to a very prestigious-type of muckety muck whose name was "Mr. Marian." But on the copy of the letter (after it had been sent) we found that, instead of putting "Dear Mr. Marian" at the top, she had put, "Dear Mr. Martian."

Another time, she had typed a letter to the New York Times "Arts & Leisure" section but (my hand to God) in the body of the letter, she said something like, "We are thrilled that you have decided to include (client's name) in your upcoming edition of "Farts & Leisure."

Needless to say, in a manner of speaking, that's all she wrote....fired! But I still chuckle at the memory.

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 09:51 PM

as thick as two short planks

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

My dad once wrote a letter to some government agency and when the responded they included a copy of the letter which started off with Dead Sir.

One of our customers at a University Dept of Anesthesia sent our statement back with a letter (btw the statement was about an overdue invoice for $620 and had columns Current over 30, over 60 so we highlighted the date the amount and the over 60) The secretary wrote that Dr. So&so of the dept of anesthesia received the statement but had no idea what it was for and if we could send a copy of the invoice. Then she (in a snotty manner) added "by the way, for your information Dr. Soso was born in 1941 so is not over 60. Cheers. PEtr

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

My dad once wrote a letter to some government agency and when the responded they included a copy of the letter which started off with Dead Sir.

One of our customers at a University Dept of Anesthesia sent our statement back with a letter (btw the statement was about an overdue invoice for $620 and had columns Current over 30, over 60 so we highlighted the date the amount and the over 60) The secretary wrote that Dr. So&so of the dept of anesthesia received the statement but had no idea what it was for and if we could send a copy of the invoice. Then she (in a snotty manner) added "by the way, for your information Dr. Soso was born in 1941 so is not over 60. Cheers. PEtr

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: Wesley S
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 05:08 PM

A while back a woman I know was talking about her brother and I asked her "How long have you two been related?"

I managed a few weeks ago to use my wire cutters to clip off the loose end of a brand new string on my mandolin. Trouble is I also managed to clip off the new string as well.

Here in Texas we call that one taco short of a combo platter.

Subject: RE: BS: Light on - no one in
From: bobby's girl
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 04:59 PM

I think my worst moment was the day I carefully put the washing liquid stuff in the machine, put the fabric softener in the drawer, set the machine going on the correct programme, then turned round and fell over the pile of washing I'd neglected to put in the machine - sigh!