BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 11:17 AM

That British government! No sense of bouondaries!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: The O'Meara
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM

For many years my favorite tabloid headline was
    "800 POUND SOPRANO FALLS, CRUSHES CELLIST"
Turns out this was a true incident, but she only weighed 450 lbs.
She fell off the stage into the orchestra pit and onto the cellist. But that's been replaced as my favorite by
    "DUCK HUNTERS SHOOT ANGEL"
How do you clean one of these things...

O'Meara

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: chip a
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 03:07 PM

"Legless boy summersaults two miles to save dad."
My favorite.

Chip

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: mike the knife
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 03:36 PM

Angel Jerky is good- smoked for a couple of days over Hickory & Applewood. The tenderloin is hard to get to, and you need to keep the wing feathers from getting into the meat. Makes it a bit gamy.

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 04:09 PM

"Honey, I'm ho-o-o-m-m-e!"

"Hey dear. What the hell is THAT???"

"It's an angel. The sun was in my eyes."

"You shot down...an ANGEL????!   Are you crazy??? "

"I thought it was a mallard. See, I was facing southwest, and...."

"You asshole!!! You killed an ANGEL!!! Do you know what that means?"

"Know what? No, I don't. "

"It means God is going to be pissed at you. Big time. And don't tell me you don't believe in God, either. If you didn't believe in God, what are you doing dragging home a dead angel, anyway!! You STUPID jerk!! You have really gone and done it now!! We are SCREWED. SCREWED!!!!!. What are we gonna do???? Oh, my GOD!!! What are we gonna DO???!!!!"

"I thought you could help me clean it, anyway, since I shot it...."

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 04:48 PM

Strap it to the fender, and drive it through a tunnel.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 05:12 PM

Actually, I have a friend who is currently papering her bathroom with Weekly World News front pages. Bat Boy, the United Dtates splitting in half, Saint Elvis, Ape child, she's got it all! More people should do that!

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 06:25 PM

My favorite was from the mid-'90s (it's upstairs under a pile of things)

"9 Year Old Sells Mom to Arabs"

Kath -- I thought Tom and I were the only people in the world to read "Dwarf Rapes Nun, Flees in UFO"! (Actually he says he loaned it to two of his editors at the local rag when he stilled worked there.)

It would still be a wonderful book if all that existed was the title!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: denise:^)
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:15 PM

If you're interested, used copies of "Dwarf Rapes Nun, Flees in UFO" are available at Amazon.com...

:^)

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:25 PM

I tried the saxophone once for a few months, but gave it up because you can't sing while you're playing a saxophone. Alas! If only I had known of the fringe benefits. Maybe it's still not too late to learn!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Don Firth
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 01:31 PM

Ebbie's submission above of "Baby Born with a Wooden Leg!" reminded me of a similar one I say about three years ago:   "Baby Born with Gold Tooth!"

That must have been one helluva dental appointment!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 02:34 PM

You can actually play sax and sing at the same time, LH, but you end up doing neither well.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Funniest Tabloid Headline Ever
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 04:43 PM

It may not quite count as a tabloid (although the format is similar) but a few years ago, the Kennel Club (those people who organise Crufts, and agree breed standards for dogs) were embroiled in the debate about whether certain breeds should have their tails 'docked' (cut short) at an early age, and left it up to the vets and the breed councils. The headline:

"Kennel Club Fudge The Docking Issue"

Nigel
(who assumes the spoonerism was deliberate)