BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 10:19 PM

Well - on the three score and ten scale I have 12 good years left and hope to enjoy every one....!

Art - you are so right ........you GOTTA have a sense o' humor, or else it isn't funny!! Best of luck.......

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 05:22 AM

I was told by my daughter, aged 33, as regards aging

'You shouldn't have joined if you can't take a joke'.

To which the only response' I think, has to be

'I don't mind a joke but fuck a pantomime'.

My thoughts are with you, Art and Uncle Dave.

Joy, Health, Love, Peace and Blessings.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Art Thieme
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 08:48 PM

The right earlobe is still there. If it returns, I suspect a lobe-otomy will follow.   ;-)
I was told it's very probably from my playing by ear for all those years. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 10:16 PM

Ouch!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 12:27 PM

Coordinating His-n-Hers meds for, um, activities jointly enjoyed.

"Have my meds call your meds."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Joybell
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 06:37 PM

Where was I when this thread started -- Oh! I remember. My heart was stopping. That kind of thing plays hell with your brain. Anyway -- glad that some of these problems have been resolved for my dear friends here. Sad about the ones that can't. Panicky about the ones, to do with farts and leaks, that might wait me and True-love.
Sjogren's syndrome is at least interesting. You never know where it will strike. And it has remissions. It attacks your salivary glands, makes your tongue burn, and maybe your teeth fall out. Your eyes -- and you squint through little bits of broken glass. Your optic nerve -- and there are flashes of silver around the edge of your vision. Your trigeminal nerve -- and you have episodes of the most intense pain known to Man or Woman. Your joints -- and you get arthritis. Your heart's electrical system -- and your heart stops. I'm one of the lucky ones. All of the manifestations, I have so far, are treatable. Some go away for long periods. My heart is now nudged into beating by a pacemaker. Sjogren's has kept away from my kidneys so far and only lightly touches my joints.
Mickey -- are you OK?
Thanks for the chance to have a rave, Susan.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM

Anytime!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Gurney
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 08:03 PM

A good cough is a little frightening. For a couple of reasons.
Hair production OK, but colouration and distribution terrible.
Memory isn't what it was. Er, what was it?
Getting up more tired than when I went to bed.
Hangovers that I really don't deserve.
Situations that I hesitate to enter. Careful, now.
Garments that I can no longer get into. Includes belts and shirts!
$6500 worth of dentistry, and I just broke ANOTHER tooth.
Can't sleep on my side, wake myself snoring on my back.
Can't be bothered to practise, so guitar and concertina slipping.
Can't learn new songs.
Eyes growing dim. Partially blocked artery. Sense of smell going.


Sense of humour undiminished.
I can do anything I really want to.
I'm in a loving relationship.
I don't foul my pants. Yet.

Still prefer life to death. By far.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Joe_F
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 09:21 PM

Partial denture this year. Hearing aid next year, I have been warned.

"With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup", etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 11:50 PM

I liked this article in a magazine I got at my cardiologist's office:

Age Excellently - Age is NOT a disease!

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Joybell
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 12:29 AM

Yes, That's a good article, Kat. When I was in intensive care awaiting my cardiologist I heard him say, "So you've filled the place with old ladies falling down?"
"Who's an old lady?" I wondered. Then I remembered I was 63. I discovered I was actually the youngest of his "old Ladies" but still...

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Don Firth
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 01:45 AM

Inside every seventy-year-old is a teen-ager saying, "What the hell happened!??"

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 07:36 AM

Today I didn't go to my weekly Tai Chi & Gentle Exercise for Seniors. My Physio runs the class for her older patients & ordered me to attend - I'm the token youngster - almost 57 (next week!) & the other members are in their late 70's & 80s! We had a 93-year old in the class for a few terms until she moved to be nearer to her daughter & I had assumed she was in her late 70's-early 80s until she mentioned her age one day.

We all need the Tai Chi moves for our aging joints (& mine are the oldest of all the class!)

I hope to be there next week, tho it depends on healing of my scar (very slow at the moment & sore as hell)

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 09:01 AM

A lot of people like Ai Chi, a Tai Chi-based program in warm water. All the flex, none of the impact.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 10:31 AM

Indignities of aging...well, it Depends....

I've hearing aids in both ears, a partial plate (the Army pulled the wrong tooth, among other things), and in a few years I'll need cataract surgery as well as bifocals.

On the other hand...on the other hand...well....

Don: 25 or so. Old enough to drink and carouse, not yet old enough to feel it.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 01:01 PM

If you can get up in the wee night hours to pee, life still has dignity.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 06:28 PM

right on

sandra (dignified)

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: JennieG
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM

Found this recently and thought it might raise a smile here:

An older couple is lying in bed one morning.
They had just awakened from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, 'Don't touch me.' 'Why not?' he asked. She answered, 'Because I'm dead.'
The husband asked...'What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!'
She said, 'No, I'm definitely dead.'
He insisted, 'You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?'
'Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.'

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 10:10 PM


How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

That was Ruth Gordon's line when asked how old she was, if I remember correctly. It's always been one of my favourite quotes! She was quite the character on and off camera from what I remember.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Don Firth
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM

Thanks, kat! I knew I'd heard it someplace, but I couldn't remember who said it. That good a line deserves to be credited.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 11:23 PM

I haven't read this thread yet, I'll catch up soon. But as one who has officially hit the age when I was sent in for my first colonoscopy recently, I can attest to a procedure associated with aging that is more undignified than anything I can think of, except childbirth. And with childbirth, when you're ready to push, you don't give a rat's ass who is there and what they see, and when you're finished, you have this wonderful new little person in your life. After the colonoscopy you go home and wait to regrow the flora and get things back to normal. Ugg.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 11:38 PM

But it's good ya got it done, SRS!:-)

You're most welcome, Don. I had it up on my bulletin board for years,I was so fond of it; still am.:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Don Firth
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 01:01 AM

True story.

Having dinner a few months ago with a couple of friends, man and wife. She pops open a fortune cookie and reads the message, which said, "You have an inner beauty." She contemplated it for a moment, then said, "That's what they told me after my colonoscopy."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 05:23 AM

Aye, and for all the good the suppositories did me, I might just as well have shoved them up my arse.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 08:26 AM

I will never be old. It is simply not acceptable.

Doesn't anyone else enjoy watching the fur fly as the younger crowd takes life so seriously and you stand by amused? "Oh my god! I lost the report!"

Mary "And????"

Age gives us a perspective. A lost job when I was 30 was the end of the world. At 60, it's time to find another job...or not.

At some point we learn it is what it is. Deal with it...or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 11:11 AM

"They say that you're going blind, that your vision is rapidly deteriorating, but don't worry: They are just a coat rack and hat."

(Onion)

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 11:54 AM

Aye, and for all the good the suppositories did me, I might just as well have shoved them up my arse.

LMAO

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: michaelr
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 03:24 PM

Age improves with wine.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM

Hadn't thought of that but maybe that's why I am so mellow.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Don Firth
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM

"Age spots? No, that's just where I drooled my Geritol. . . ."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Rog Peek
Date: 04 Feb 09 - 01:03 PM

Heard a great saying the other day:

"There's none so old as those who have lost enthusiasm."

So true, nothing to do with chronology.

Rog

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Feb 09 - 06:48 PM

My father-in-law is just about the liveliest, sharpest 70 year old guy I know of; which is pretty good, as he was born almost 91 years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Feb 09 - 10:26 PM

Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes lived to be ninety-four years old. In his later years, he was walking down Pennsylvania Avenue with a friend, when a pretty girl passed. Holmes turned to look after her. Having done so, he sighed and said to his friend, "Ah, George, what wouldn't I give to be seventy-five again?"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 08:43 PM

If I live long enough, I'll be sick the rest of my life.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 02:30 PM

What I notice is the tags of skin that have popped out all over my body. I'll bet I have 20 of them. Why is that?

On the other hand, I find that I'm nore comfortable being 73 than I was with 72. Don't understand that, either.

But I do enjoy being older rather than younger. As several have commented, crises are no longer so dire; you've come to realize that most things are not earth-shattering. When I think of all the things I've gone through in my life I wonder why I thought at the time they were so huge. I hadn't really known yet that until you do die, you will survive.

When my father turned 80 he had breakfast with two friends who had also recently achieved 80.

My dad said, "You know, we about have it made. They say very few people die after they're 80."

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM

The 80-ish folks I know see my age better than the 65-75-ish folks who think I am a kid. I get along a lot better with the 80+ers!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: paula t
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 12:51 PM

I want to grow old disgracefully like my Grandma. We lost her to cancer a few years ago at the age of 87. Very quick and quite unexpected.Just a few of her escapades.....

She was famous for taking cuttings wherever she went - including the rather nice tea room we visited.(That vase of pinks with "cuttings" still attached was really too good to miss!It wouldn't have been quite so embarrassing if she hadn't loudly explained how to do it to Sarah and Kathryn.)
She turned up to our wedding with her leg strapped up because she crashed a child's trike into a wall.Having had "one over the eight" she thought it would be a good idea to organise a bike race round the garden.
In her 80s,She was the victim of an armed robbery at my uncle's house in South Africa. A shotgun was held to her head and she was told to lead the robbers to the safe.She promptly ran through the lounge door and pushed the sofa under the doorhandle so they couldn't get in. When they ran round the outside of the house to get her , she picked up an armchair and threw it through the window at them-injuring one of them and causing them to run away.

Again, in her 80s, she fell off the rather large swing in our garden. She was going really high and then boasted to Kathryn and Sarah that she could swing without holding on...........

I could go on. That lady was 4 foot 10inches of dynamite. She lived life to the full,and once described herself in these words,"I can't grow old - because I haven't grown up yet!"

If she's in heaven(And she wasn't quite sure she'd get there!) then there will certainly never be a dull moment!

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 03:08 PM

From The American Songbag, compiled by Carl Sandburg:

The Good Boy

I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet
I shall have an old age full of rum and riot;
I have been a good boy, wed to peace and study,
I shall have an old age, ribald, coarse and bloody.

I have never cut throats, even when I yearned to,
Never sang dirty songs that my fancy turned to;
I have been a nice boy and done what was expected,
I shall be an old bum loved but unrespected.

Yea, verily!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 10:06 AM

It's only partially funny that to find the glasses that work, I have to put on the glasses that USED to work, to SEE where they MIGHT be.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 10:43 AM

I can now empathise with Joe Heaney (gifted Irish singer) ;

It takes me all night to do what I used to do all night.

Or, to paraphrase a gentleman (?) who lectured me on naughties : there's only one f*cked at our house - me.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 05:11 PM

I was 68 before it dawned on me that other people viewed me as "old". I wondered why parents kept telling their kids to "be careful with Dorothy". I am every age I have ever been - just like everyone else. If you do not know how old I am, I could pass for ?? (Those of you have met me in person can answer that - but carefully!!) I think I have more energy than most 60 year olds. And, for now, I have a man in my life young enough to keep up with me - as long as I take good care of him! I really have nothing about which to complain. So I guess I should just get out of this thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: DougR
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 06:32 PM

Indignities? I haven't noticed any. I'm only 79, though, so maybe it will show up sooner or later.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 06:49 PM

*sigh*... I now notice the return of cold weather sooner and with regret.
I used to never mind cold at all...my circulation has always been good and I can get warm fairly easily, but I NEED to get warm sooner now.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Janie
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 07:32 PM

I feel quite spry....





Until I move.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 06:36 AM

Thanks for the great stories about your grandma, Paula.
=======
I feel lucky to have lived during the decades that I have.

Ever heard of 'the Dumbing of America?' Just one example - today the newspaper told of the drowning deaths of two girls, only two years old, in the family pool. Supposedly they unfastened the gate. (Yeah, right.)

What kind of people can't control two-year olds? They only come up to our knees.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 10:14 PM

Another thing is, it gets harder & harder to tease things apart -- the top coffee filter on a stack, the next page of a newspaper, the open side of a plastic bag (once you find it).

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 01:49 PM

At a certain age you go to the doctor and at the end they dispassionatly give you a pre printed 'hand out' of what you have.
I call it the dented fender report.
Last week hey handed me a print out for posterior ocular detanchment " due to old age your vitrious humor turns watery instead of its usual gel like consistency and pulls away from the back of the eye..."

The idignity of going all watery or drying up like some dihessent seed pod is how these print outs often describe some new aspect of decrepitude.

Be it a sensory loss or organ failure they have a hand out that says "Usually this condition is not dangerous BUT..."
Then the bad news and dire expectations conclude the report.

I used to go to the doctor to get better.
Now I go for hand outs.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 01:56 PM

Who was it said Old age is not for sissies?

Still beats the alternative!

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 02:49 PM

Re two year olds: A study many years ago asked a football player in prime shape to copy every action of a two year old. The football player wore out first.
    2: I bought two goats, each under the age of two. We brought them home and put them in the barn. Two hours later they were walking down the middle of our rural road. They opened the gate.

No indignities yet. Maybe next month.

Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Rowan
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 06:18 PM

A forty six year old friend of mine, when asked how old she was, replied, "Sixteen, with thirty years experience of it."

I usually feel like that but it was even stronger over the weekend. The Mountaineering Club at my old uni was having its 65th anniversary dinner and I was able to get there and see some friends I hadn't seen for four decades, in some cases.

And then it was time for the 18 hour train trip back home. I get the cheap fare because I'm officially an Old Fart, but it wearied me more than it used to.

But no indignities yet, unless you count the inability to see where you left your glasses.

Cheers, Rowan