Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??

Subject: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 07:47 PM

Okay, Getaway-ers of 'bout 3 years ago... Seems that I have gotten myself locked into some feud with another Getaway-er who now claims that I violated jam etiquite and stepped on his or her songs...

This was my first Getaway and this is what I remember in terms of of what I did in they way of music.

I led a "blues workshop/jam" and I remember Forunato, Gutbucketeer, Roger from Baltimore as definately attendees and I believe that we just went around the circle and shared songs in order... No "bad" on me there...

I also attended maybe 4 workshop/jams... I remember attending Joe Offer's gospel workshop/jam and did Emmy Lou's "Satan's Jeweled Crown"... I remember another workshop where I did Steve Earle's "Devil's Right Hand"... I remember also doing John Prine's "Paradise" at another...

I also did Son House's "Empire State Express" at the one of the evening concerts... It was cold, okay, chilly...

I also remember being in the mess hall and doing one song, "King Bee" there on my steel bodied resonator...

And I remember doing a few songs late Saturday night in the other wing from the mess hall but I was the only person who was playing anyhting...

Those are my memories of my 1st Getaway...

Those and going to bed early (before midnight) each night and freezing my butt off... Okay the food weren't all that good, either...

But now I have gotten a PM from another Catter who thinks I jumped all over him or her in song circles... I really don't remember doing any of them other than in those workshops where I did only one song in each... Okay, maybe two in the blues one...

So, help!!!

This is the way I remember it... If I jumped on anyone's song I would feel terrible except I really don't think that I did it... It would be very much unlike me...

But if I did it then I did it???

Please, folks... Try to remember... I know it's been 3 years... Okay, maybe 4 and I don't want to hurt nobody's head here but I'm really trying to figure this out so the other Catter and I can put this behind us...

Your help will be greatly appreciated...

Really,

Bobert

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Fortunato
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 08:21 PM

Sounds like an acute case of paranoia on his or her part. You have always been congenial in the jams, period.
cheers
chance

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 08:31 PM

Bobert,

You don't need a referendum of other Catters' memories to vote who was right; you just need to assure him/her the future will be thoughtful. Just send a PM indicating you're sorry if you inadvertently caused a problem and say you will be careful about it in future. That's true, isn't it?

The thing to repair here is not your jam etiquette-- it's the relationship. Ask P-Vine; she'll probably agree with me.

~S~

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 08:39 PM

"The thing to repair here is not your jam etiquette-- it's the relationship. Ask P-Vine; she'll probably agree with me."

Or you could just just say, "Hey....Fuck ya' if ya' can't take a joke. Now have a Coke and a smile and shut ta' hell up!"

That could work too, ya' know? Well maybe anyway......gives ya' an option.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: kendall
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 08:40 PM

It is impossible to go through this life without stepping on anothers toe. Very often it is simple thoughtlessness. One of the most common rude things I've seen at the Getaway was someone in the audience noodling on his guitar while another was doing her set.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 08:43 PM

Not that easy, WYSuszie....

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 09:36 PM

"stepped on"?? as in took the lead away or somthin'?

*IF* it was true...or even if someone thought it was, the time to have mentioned it was 3 years ago when memories were fresh and could be sorted out. I can't imagine what would be gained by grumping about a 3 year old perceived grievance.









(and 3 or 4 years ago, Kendall sang "Mrs Ravoon" right before *I* was gonna do it..did I take offense...nawwwww...*grin*...did I complain? nawww... Did *I* plead with the gods to punish him? Of course not! And besides, he's getting his voice BACK!)

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: GutBucketeer
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 09:58 PM

I PM'd you. Sometimes folks can't see the forest for the trees, or the real Bobert from the stage personae.

Wish you were coming to this getaway.

JAB

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 09:58 PM

Bill, I tried to tell you those cut-rate VooDoo dolls wouldn't last long but did you listen? And now see what's happened? Well, next time maybe you listen huh?

Spaw

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Leadfingers
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:03 PM

Bobert = I would go along with all the above , with the possible exception of Spaws suggestion ! I cant imagine you tramping on someone else's vine at all - but an apology (IF I did I'm Sorry) in a PM wont do any harm !
And I wish I was going to be there this weeekend !

Next Year though !!!

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:32 PM

Screw it -- a friendly "Sorry, wasn't aware I was doing that." should put an end to it. If it doesn't, it's not your issue. It's nice to take all the responsibility you can, but not when it becomes a mechanism of manipulation.


A

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 11:42 PM

Bill D! And you don't even believe in God! I want you to march right over there and apologize to the Cap'n. Now.

Bobert, didn't happen. If it did, it's because the other person had his/her foot out there a mile. Not to worry, luv.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Ferrara
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 11:52 PM

No, Ebbie, but Bill believes in The Gods.... Single Malt Scotch, Dogfish Head Ale, all Belgian ales including especially the ones made in Belgian Monassteries from 900 year old recipes, ... et cetera.

Bobert, would it do any good to ask the other person for more specifics? On the grounds that one can apologize for doing something without knowing what you're apologizing for; but it's hard to promise not to do it again unless you know what it is! Maybe if you knew why they feel this way, you will say "Oh for goodness sake!" Or maybe you will say "Oh, I see what you mean." If they refuse to explain, it seems to me you have no further obligation to give it a single thought. Well you don't anyway, but you see what I mean.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Melissa
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:25 AM

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Barry Finn
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:37 AM

I don't know what you did but I'll except your apology with a little bit of room service. I'll take my breakfast in my room at 8:45 with the Boston Globe & a tall glas of juice please. I won't let it ever happen again, wht ever it was.

Barry

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Joe Offer
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:38 AM

Well, since I don't come armed with a guitar, I have to say I have one peeve about Guys With Guitars. If it's my turn to sing a song, it's ok to play along - but don't try to lead me or regulate the tempo. I wanna sing it the way I wanna sing it, even if I'm wrong.

And if you're a more accomplished singer than I am, and it's my turn to sing, don't try to correct me or lead me to your view of the "correct" version of the song.

And if it's my turn to sing and you're sitting next to me, don't sing something else to yourself between songs while I'm trying to "hear" the tune to my song in my head.

But Bobert, I don't think you committed any of those sins. And generally, I think it's acceptable to sing songs other people sing. I steal songs from Bill Day and Judy Cook, and they don't seem to mind. Maybe the lesson is that if you steal songs, you should steal them from gracious people like Bill Day and Judy Cook.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:22 AM

awww..it's ok, Joe. Once you get 'em, they don't resemble MY songs any more, anyway.








*ducking and running....dodging various old songbooks as I run*

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:24 AM

(and...Judy Cook steals from ME)...I never caught her at it directly, but she admits it..*grin*)

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:31 AM

Bobert,

Some people are really shy about starting a song in a jam, and might take it very hard when they have worked up the courage to start one and no one notices that they are "ready." Of course, people are not mind readers, but from inside a shy person it may feel like they were "kept out."

So, you have a wonderful opportunity here to encourage a fellow musician along their way AND offer an olive branch-- asking them what signal you can look for from them to know when they are ready to jump in, so you can be sure not to miss it. You can take that signal and help them take their time to "launch." In other words-- you can be a friend.

THEN you can know that you did everything in your power to build the peace that can be built, instead of digging your heels in, defensively, because you're "right" and have gotten other people to take your side. It's nice to have people on your side-- but maybe this is a time to practice being on the OTHER person's side.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Barry Finn
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:35 AM

Joe, with all those demands, it'd be an honor to sit next to you while you sing. Beware I'm a bit gaseous at the moment though.
LOL, see you soon
Barry

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:56 AM

I dunno' Bobertz.......If I were you I'd still go with my first suggestion.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 04:10 PM

Bobert,
I never saw you misbehave in a song circle at the Getaway.
Three years after the fact someone comes forward claiming you offended them? What triggered it? Are they even sure you are the one who offended? And three years later, who gives a crap?
Tell them to get a life, grow up and go annoy someone who cares.
Always the mediator
SINS

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 04:15 PM

For the record: I on behalf of a shier person asked Kendall to sing Mrs. Ravoon. I did not know it was YOUR song Bill. Also for the record it is one of the few songs you do better than Kendall.
Sorry Captain. Bill is more gristle and guts.
SINS

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 04:29 PM

*grin*...well! I am honored...I think. (it TAKES 'guts' to inflict that on folks)

But it is no more MY song than anyone elses..I was just glad a Halloween didn't escape without a semi-captive audience hearing it.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Jim Lad
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 04:46 PM

Relax. I've only been to one gathering and enjoyed it very much. I have a real tendency to take over so I held back a lot myself. As long as you are conscious of others contributions, give them your attention and do not purposely "Step" on them then you are playing fair. If you do this and someone still gets their feelings hurt, it's unfortunate but not your problem.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 05:57 PM

Okay, given the above advice I'll just PM the party and apologize if I stepped on any of their songs... Period...

BTW... Shame on you, Kendall, fir stealin' "Mrs Ravoon" from BillD...

B~

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 06:48 PM

Mrs. Ravoon, I am sorry to tell people who do not know her, is a terrible slut. I have heard her step out of so many Catters' mouths, right here in my LIVING ROOM, that although Hardi and I are always happy renew acquaintaince with her, I must take exception to the idea she "belongs" to anyone. She's incapable of that kind of fidelity.... She, um... sings around. :~)

~Susan

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 07:39 PM

(gee...I hope Harry Tufts isn't reading this, 'cause *I* stole "Mrs. Ravoon" from his record 35 years ago!)
...and my ex wife claimed her grandmother knew it and played it on a pump organ)

hmmmpff...the Patons would sell those Folk-Legacy albums to just anyone!




The only way one can claim a song at all is if they write it, and I don't seem to have that skill....

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 07:46 PM

Bobert, I'm pretty sure that was the Getaway I was at. I was at your workshop, think I played one song. I was being sorta shy (not used to the format, or musicians other than my regulars).

I NEVER saw you do what the PM-er said. You, Sir Bobert, are a gentleman.

And all of what SINSULL said too.

Now, my own problem with the Getaway (other than a major migraine attack) was that it is very much oriented to vocal/guitar. A lone fiddler felt lonesome, but that is MY problem, NOT the Getaway Problem and I KNOW that.

(yes, most of the food was pretty crappy but some of it was good, and we left a HORRIBLE mess for the camp staff to clean up. Really HORRIBLE)

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 07:55 PM

Well, gol danged, Sorch, they ***did*** try to poison us, didn't they??? What, were we 'sposed to clean up Tumbleweed for that... Heck, I don't know where you stayed but the house I stayed in looked as if you'd brought in a dump truck worth of nasty stuff and dumped it in the house then that ansty stuff would made it cleaner than before you dumped the stuff in it...

Heck, I was afraid of the tiolets, the showers, the food and just about everything that didn't have a Getwaay name badge on it... When I got home I took a half hour-shower...

BTW, ain't nuthin' wrong with fiddles... Lot better than the dredded banjo!!!

LOL...

B~

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:14 PM

Now, there Bobert, I need to disagree. I stayed in a cabin off to the right across the field from the Main Building...I don't know which direction it was! Off the left from the lake/pond?

Nothing wrong with my cabin, bed, shower, etc. And the MESS we left was just awful. I was one of the last to leave and I kept trying to clean some of it up. The entire main building was just FULL of Getaway trash. Dead soldiers everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE, posters, flyers, left over food, you name it.

The trash collection wasn't what we could have wished but still, people could have bagged it and set it beside the dumpster. Taken home their own leftover food and booze. Nope. They couldn't be bothered.

No, I don't think they actually tried to poison us, they were just Unprepared...and that is surprising because that had been the venue for the Getaway for quite a few years.

There is also the fact that GOOD food prep/kitchen help is damn hard to come by for what a venue can pay them. We all know that.

Seems to ME that self catering/Getaway Share Help is the way to go, but I understand that they used to do that...???

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:25 PM

Well, I stayed up in that whiter house you pass before gettin' to the rest of the joint... I don't remember no pond... Maybe that was it... I was on the wrong side of the, ahhhhhh, pond... In the po folkz section... Hmmmmm? Who assigned me there??? I'm sniffin' a conspircacy... Stick me in the nasty shack... What was that all about, anyway... Dumb ol' hillbilly prolly will think it's Heaven??? LOL...

Well, it weren't... Shoot is was so cold in there that Hell woulda been a welcome sight... LOL...

Awwww, nevermind... We have heat in our farm house...

B~

P.S. Okay, I thought the salmon supper was purdy good... Really, it was... The rest was like, ahhhhhhh, not too good... Okay, it was bad...

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:59 PM

Ah, the White House...no idea who stuck you there, or put me where I was. I was off gone down the hill and away from you.

No dear...the salmon was the poison! LOL...I hate fish!
The chicken was OK....if there had just been enough of it!

I dint have no heat either, but I had enough bedding covers to keep warm, thanks to MMario and my cloak. That sucker will keep me warm in sub 0 weather all by itsself!

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Ferrara
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 10:12 PM

Bobert was in the White House? Are there no standards? Sigh....

Yeah, we used to make the food ourselves. It worked pretty well but you know what? I don't really think the food was enough better to make up for missing a couple hours of the Getaway music (much more, if you were in charge of providing a meal). It really took a lot of volunteer hours to plan meals, buy food and then prepare it on the spot. Anyway, the previous camp, and this one, haven't permitted us to prepare the food. Probably for insurance reasons.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 10:23 PM

Sorry, Rita, but I do. You can't enjoy the music if you don't have a belly full of good food. I'd even almost prefer to be in Charge of all the meals if the alternative was what we go the last year at Ramblewood.

I've done it, and I can do it. But you are right, it's probably insurance.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 10:15 AM

hmmmpff! Some of us did just fine on Ramblewood food...(somewhere there is a post from Rick Fielding saying how great it was compared to what he was used to in camps..) And I seem to remember plenty of everything.

Now, I will admit that they did not cater very well to vegetarians....one can eat only so much salad. Debbie McClatchy always made special veggie dishes and asked others not to get into it until 2nds were announced...but she was special.

Obviously, food is one of the hardest things in which to please everyone...(besides musical tastes)....one man's meat is really another man's poison, I guess. Friday night's potluck is often the best meal at the Getaway, as folks bring their specialties.

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 07:27 PM

Getaway does not, I think, function as a "they" did this or "they" oughtta do that.... it's an all-we deal, and the "we" who plan it do it with a fair amount of experience guiding their planning.

I can tell you this-- at even a smallish Mudgather, it's real, REAL easy to find oneself stuck in the kitchen during the most fun parts. Even with all hands bringing food to share, somebody has to tend the dishwasher and coffeepot, and it gets out of control amazingly quickly.

PA's Folk College is fun, too, and how they handle the food issue is, THEY DON'T. You step out to the local eateries at meal time. That keeps it affordable and keeps people from getting stuck with any of the work, or mess, or food they don't like for whatever reason.

~S~

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: KT
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 01:15 AM

Hey, Bobert, it was freezin everywhere, not just in the White House. Heck, at one point, Ebbie was wonderin what was that rattlin' noise comin' from across the room. It was my chattering teeth. And I had on ALL of the clothes I'd brought with me! Layer upon layer, and kindly Sinsull's extra quilt, too.

At one point, I was hearin' some funny sounds from the other side of the room, too. I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter and there was Ebbie's bag all in a heap! It was really late and very dark, and I couldn't see what was what, so tapped gently on one of the humps. Turned out it was her head...she was buried inside trying to keep warm.

Hey, Bobert, how'd you get in the WHite House, anyway?

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 01:29 AM

Guess I need to instruct all you frozen folkies on the art of cloak making. I was plenty warm as long as I stayed in bed! LOL....floor length wool cloak/cape with hood. Hood and cape to elbows is lined with a non woven Thermax stuff...looks just like white felt but it isn't. Inside lining is a linen weave 100% cotton.

That and 2 blankets/quilts from MMario kept me quite warm enough. Til I had to get out of bed. Brush teeth and run like hell for the dining hall! LOL

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Rasener
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 02:34 AM

Well Bobert, you could find out which song or tune it was and promise the next time you will make sure that person gets to do it first.
Whne they have finished, announce how nice it was, but this is the way to do it and do it yourself.
That should sort it :-)

Subject: RE: Past Getaway Question, Alzheimers, etc??
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 08:20 AM

LOL, Villian...

KT, The Wes Ginny Slide Rule jus' don't unnerstand how you can fly in from Alaskaburg, where the high temps in the winter are like minus 300 degrees and get cold in Maryland???

B~