BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?

Subject: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 05:17 AM

When I first meet someone I think I am influenced by their eyes and smile. Mainly because when I'm in my lemonade trailer I can't see feet. If I can see the whole body (clothed of course!) I look at the face and then feet. I s'pose that's obvious by my last thread. Shoes tell me a lot about a person. What do other people look at first?

This can also be confused if you meet someone online as in a dating site. I met my guy on a dating site. I was influenced by his photo which turned out to be a mirror image! Not sure if that meant anything but as we're now living together, 12 months from our first click, maybe it doesn't make any difference!

Sal

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influanced by First Impressions?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 09:28 AM

Everyone is influenced by first impressions. The trick is to overcome them.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influanced by First Impressions?
From: mack/misophist
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 11:21 AM

Rapaire beat me to it. That's part of the reason why one should never watch political news on television. Acting talent doesn't translate to skill at government.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 11:44 AM

I've met numerous people whom, on first impression, I thought to be real assholes. But as time has progressed, I've come to really like them. They're still assholes, just assholes that I like.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 01:04 PM

Always wise to be ready to adjust first impressions. But more often than not they are in fact accurate.

But it's more complicated than that, because there is more than one way to adjust. I remember an interview on the radio once about Irish music sessions, where the man being interviewed said more or less 'When I first heard it I thought - "This is all the same tune, I don't like it. And then I got to hear more of it, and I thought "No, it's all different tunes". And then I got to hear it more and play it and I decided "Yes - it is really all the same tune - I love it." '

I can think of relationships like that. The adjustment that makes the difference isn't always in our understanding of what other people are like, it can be in how we estimate that way of being.

Jane Austen's Price and Prejudice was of course originally called "First Impressions".

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: Rowan
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 04:47 PM

I can't now find the reference but what passes for my memory tells me that the research into how people reach conclusions about each other indicates that most people have reached their first conclusion, about someone they've only just met, in as little as five seconds. I can't recall exactly what the research indicated about the accuracy of such judgement but it seemed to be supported more often than not.

Fortunately, most of us are good learners.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 26 Feb 08 - 05:55 PM

My first impressions come as phase 1a and phase 1b. Phase 1a is appearance. We make judgments based on appearance before we have met people, on sight. Phase 1b is speech. How many times have I seen a pretty girl and then seen her face twist round her anguished vowels and glottal stops? Shudder!

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: GUEST,Chaz Brewer
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 12:32 PM

Obviously I'm influenced by the lumpy bits, as most guys I suppose, but I am very much put off by bleached hair.

CB

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 12:55 PM

Did you know that Pride and Prejudice was originally titled "First Impressions". I'll go away now.

I see what I need to know in a person's eyes. Here on Mudcat it takes a while to get a true sense of a person.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: Bee
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 01:16 PM

I like to think I'm fairly neutral on judging people by their appearance. I've known enough fine people whose clothing and grooming leave a lot to be desired, and enough pretty exteriors hiding vacant brains.

What people say or do when I first know them is the influence, but it isn't always right. As an example: a woman I met seemed (and still does, after fifteen years) a complete airhead, went to university and seems to have forgotten everything she learned, hasn't a clue about anything I might have an interest in talking about. But after a few years I noticed she's managed to raise two very fine sons who love her to bits (and tease her unmercifully). I tried to pay closer attention to her after that realization, and I suspect the airhead presentation is a sort of fabricated 'cover', that she discovered eased a lot of pressure over the years when she has had too much work to do to bother with a 'winning personality'.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: topical tom
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 01:23 PM

I have, in the past, been guilty of letting first impressions dictate my judgement of a person.How wrong I was! The cover certainly does not allow you to judge the book.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 01:31 PM

The cover may not, but the first page generally does.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: GUEST,Appaloosa Lady
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 03:04 PM

Yup. Heavily so.

First impressions can lead you down many paths, some you'd rather not have travelled down, some you may never travel down. Those impressions are all part of this 'wonder' called life though, and therfore, part of your spirit.

Right or wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: GUEST,Bill the sound
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 07:02 PM

You should always think carefully about a first impression.
Remember you never get a second chance to make one.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 04:29 PM

We'd all like to think we're above being overly influenced by first impressions.

But we all are also well-advised to do our best at making a good first impression, knowing we'll never get a second chance.

I think this means most folks are not as capable of making sound judgements, free of first-impression prejudice, as they'd like to think they are.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 04:43 PM

I think there's some good evidence that our first impressions about people do tend to be pretty accurate.

Not always, which is why it's always right to hold off and be prepared to correct them, but as a rule of thumb I think we very probably find you have much the same kind of judgement about what someone is like after we've known them as we had when we first met them.

Of course we might have changed ourselves in the meantime - and we may have learned additional aspects of the person that changes things as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: bankley
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 04:45 PM

only once

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: paula t
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 02:00 PM

I try not to be - but once or twice I've had strange experiences on meeting someone for the first time, and my first impressions have been only too true.On both of these occasions I had a feeling of absolute shock and repulsion when shaking their hand upon introduction - when I'd been given absolutely no reason to think badly of them.I tried to cover this up and remained friendly and sociable with them .Both guys later turned out to be rather nasty and dangerous. Strange eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: GUEST,Voice Of Truth
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 02:54 PM

Your instincts are often a good indicator of who a person is. I have also met someone whohas made me cringe, and later discovered there was a good reason for my initial feeling of distaste and distrust. Especially if you're past a certain age, your first impression is not just a superficial judgment, but comes, hopefully, with a bit of mature wisdom and the guiding light of experience..

Still, I don't rely solely on first impressions- the best indicator of who a person is - is time. I have found that what a person DOES, not what he (or she) says or appears to be is - the true test of character- and that is only revealed in time.

Subject: RE: BS: Anyone influenced by First Impressions?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 03:15 PM

What may first impress me is the look in the eyes and a smile. If they are natural, I find I am open and easy going with someone new but if the smile seems false and the eyes a little glazed or hollow then I play cagey until I get to know the person better.
Works for me!
Best wishes, Mike.