BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise

Subject: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 01:35 PM

For no discernable reason, this morning I was thinking back on the ways that other people have help me throughout my life. I'd like to share one of those stories.

If you have any stories about acts of kindness-random or otherwise that you'd like to share, please add them to this thread.

Thanks, in advance, for your participation in this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 01:41 PM

It was the 6th grade end of year party. Near the end of the party, the teacher-who shall remain nameless-decided that it would be a fun to make up a rule that no one could leave the classroom at the end of the day if he or she hadn't danced. And then the teacher played a slow R&B record and encouraged the boys to pick a girl to dance with.

In those days, people of the same sex never danced slow dances together and girls had to wait for boys to ask them to dance. And in those days, I was a very shy, very skinny girl who never ever danced in public. I knew no one would ask me to dance, and the teacher would have to make an exception for me, and that would make the whole thing even more embarrassing then it already was.

Of course, I was right. No boy asked me to dance. I sat there cringing inside as the first record ended and the teacher put on the second slow record and again told the students that they couldn't leave until they had danced one time. I didn't even see him approach me, but I heard Alfonso Revas. ask me to dance. I don't remember the name of that record, and I don't even remember getting up and dancing. But more than 40 years later, I remember his name. Alfonso Revas, a popular boy in the class, asked me to dance.

I don't even remember whether I thanked Alfonso at that time. And I don't recall ever seeing him in all the years since, until one day when I happened to visit my hometown. A young adult nephew of mine had just recently moved into his first apartment, and when I went to visit him, he mentioned that a former classmate of mine lived on the first floor down the hall from him. My nephew told me who that former classmate was, and then called him on the telephone so I could say hello. I was glad that I could finally get a chance to tell Alfonso how much his dancing with me at that 6th grade party meant to me. And I told him so that day, the same day that I learned that Alfonso-the popular high school athlete who danced with a shy skinny, shy girl-was now seated in a wheel chair, with half his right leg amputated. I don't remember what I said to Alfonso, but I know that he is a person I will never forget because of his not-so random act of kindness.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 01:47 PM

Great subject, Azizi. I'll be back.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 04:48 PM

Thanks, Ebbie. I hope you'll share a story or two.

**

I suppose sharing stories about this subject may not be the thing to do-if you are the one who has done the act of kindness. I was taught that you shouldn't compliment yourself, but if others compliment you, accept it graciously.

So, do other people have a story they want to share about any acts of kindness that they were the recipient of?

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 04:51 PM

I'm going to take the liberty of posting a story that I found in an archived Mudcat thread about an act of kindness a Mudcat member did as a child:

Subject: RE: Folklore: May baskets
From: erinmaidin - PM
Date: 12 Apr 04 - 02:56 AM

The making of may baskets was something I learned in elementary school. We only made them the one year but it was a tradition I carried with me until I was a wise old teenager.

There was an elderly widow woman across the street from the home I grew up in. I always marveled at how happy she always seemed, even tho' she usually passed her days alone. Every May, she was the recipient of my May Basket...usually filled with flowers I'd swiped from other neighbour's gardens!

How touched I was when I was told by her daughter that at her passing away she asked that I be told how important to her those baskets were in her life. I never even imagined that she knew it was I who had brought them.

thread.cfm?threadid=68713#1159949

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 05:00 PM

You know Azizi,

It strikes me to make a suggestion.

Young teenage lads generally don't ask young teenage lasses to dance out of kindness.

And young teenage lads often refraing from asking pretty young girls to dance because they do not wish the object of their desire to reject them.

Have you ever considered that this young lad had a soft spot for you that required a gulp and an effort of will to indulge.

... language ... let me rephrase that ...

Maybe he fancied you babes!

... oh no ... who ... me ... ? (blush blushh)

Yeah yeah ... whatever!

So what are you going to do about it?

hmmm?

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 05:21 PM

Well, lox, um "... oh no ... who ... me ... ? (blush blushh)"

[and I had just mentioned that I was told to accept compliments graciously].

So thanks...but...

I wasn't a teenager in the 6th grade-I started school when I was four {since I was born in December} so I was probably about 9 or 10 years old. My recollection-remembering my sons-is that nine or ten year old boys generally don't like to dance slow dances with girls...

Plus I wasn't pretty.

Then.

:o)

No, I think that Alfonso was just being nice, and felt sorry for me. I don't believe that he asked me to dance with him way back then because he liked me as a possible girlfriend.

Besides, when I saw him again about four years ago, I felt no romantic sparks toward him and I dont think he felt any sparks toward me either.

And I'm a believer in sparks.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 06 Apr 08 - 05:38 PM

he he

6th grade in my school days meant 6th year in secondary school - probably equates to 12th grade in the american system and the new british system.

Hey you probably wuzn't so bad 8?)

But you're right about sparks!

No sparks no fire!

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: alanabit
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 12:41 AM

I ought to be able to write a book on this one after my years of busking. One springs to mind immediately though, even though it was a small thing. I was busking in a small town, shortly after my first child was born. It was dodgy weather and I was not doing well. I would have been teaching, but I had no lessons that day. In fact, I was feeling about six inches tall for failing to do enough for my family. A policeman crossed over towards me. I was muttering to myself, "This is all I need..."
He smiled, then he said, "At last some decent music in this town!" Then he walked away. I was blinking back tears. He will never know what it meant to me at the time. I am glad there are men and women like him everywhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: freda underhill
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 04:09 AM

alanabit, you have just reminded me of something that happened just after my father died.

I'd come back to Sydney from the funeral in Dungog and was walking towards Central station. John Dengate (an aussie folkie) was playing "Danny Boy" on the tin whistle, and it took me back immediately to my childhood when my father used to sing that and many other songs to me.

It was a very powerful reminder that I still had my father through his music. Buskers may not always know how much their music can affect someone.

yes, he got gold, not silver, in his hat!

freda

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Newport Boy
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 05:24 AM

The thread title rang a little bell - 60-year old memories of poetry in school. So a quotation which reflects the feeling of the thread.

From William Wordsworth - Lines written above Tintern Abbey, 1798.

"                   --feelings too
Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,
As have no slight or trivial influence
On that best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered, acts
Of kindness and of love."

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Amos
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 01:32 PM

IT is strange to me, how evanescent acts of kindness are in memory. I know I have been the recipient of many, but they do not answer up. Ornery mindset, I suppose, to want to bury them in favor of one's own virtues.

ONe of the greatest kindnesses I have ever been blessed with was my wife accepting me despite my idiosyncratic ways and agreeing to throw in her lot with mine.

It has been a continuous gift for 29 years.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 02:21 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Random Acts of Kindness
From: gnu - PM
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 02:07 PM

A few days ago, as I was driving along in my pickup, I saved the lives of three skinheads. I was approaching an intersection and they were on the sidewalk, giving the finger and yelling at a car that had just left the intersection when the light turned green. I don't know what all that was about. All I know is that they were quite involved with their vitriol and were completely unaware of the approaching danger. I don't know what made me act so quickly and so instinctively. At the very last instant, I decided not to run them over.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 03:04 PM

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Azizi
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 03:21 PM

Thanks to all who have posted on this thread thus far!

**

gnu, I'm glad you found the strength not to yield to temptation :o)

Also, gnu, I didn't know {or don't remember that I ever knew} that there was a previous thread called "BS: Random Acts of Kindness".
If I had recalled this, I would have posted to that thread, though the experience that I wrote about actually wasn't "random".

I admit that I didn't do a search using the Mudcat search engine before starting this thread. But I did check out what I could find via Mudcat's search engine as a result of reading your post. While I didn't find that thread listed {I guess that's because of that computer glitch way back when}, I did find these two threads:


thread.cfm?threadid=21954#236877
Kind Acts, just do it!


and

thread.cfm?threadid=62048#1001234
BS: Kindness of strangers - lasting effects

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 04:52 PM

You know,

To participate more relevantly to this thread,

I have beeen on the receiving end of a constant stream of kindness and generosity that is unparalelled by any any imaginable expectation for the last three years straight.

Some of it has been from the mudcat when I've needed to order my thoughts on my tricky situations.

Much of it has been from the people I least expected it from.

There are people who attach themselves to you and kind of wear you like a badge and proclaim their friendship to the four winds, but when thhe proverbial hits the fan they aren't really able to do anything.

Then there are some who remain quietly in the wings of your life until one day they modestly step forward and provide a bedrock of limitless unconditional support with no fuss.

I've learned a lot about friendship over the last 3 years and best of all I've learned that I have some unreal friends.

Reflecting on it, I see myself as the luckiest man on earth.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Apr 08 - 12:35 PM

Freshen up.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Escapee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 01:22 AM

During freshman year in high school,1964, I felt awful about something now forgotten. As she walked behind me to her seat in class, a girl put her hand on my shoulder in a sympathetic and brief way. It was as if she had removed a weight, or turned on a light for me. I have an idea that sometimes people are angels on a temporary basis when they're in the right place at the right time, and Sue Lynch was an angel then.
SKP

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Thompson
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 03:19 AM

There I was, a terrified and impatient young parent, barefoot in the street in Marylebone, London in 1972, with my child having a *huge* tantrum.

He'd flung himself on the ground. I was leaning on the railings 10 feet away, ignoring him, with my arms folded and my face in a scowl, while he kicked and screamed and howled for sweets.

Every passer-by was glaring in disapproval at his snot-covered crimson face and angry shrieking and wailing, and then glaring at my equally angry but silent face.

Until a young woman came walking swiftly by. As she passed him she whipped out from her pocket a thruppeny chocolate bar, and handed it to him.

I waited for her disapproval, but she gave me a wide, friendly, sympathetic smile and kept going. Tears came into my eyes.

My son sat up, toddled over and pulled me down to sit on my lap, and carefully opened the chocolate. I wiped his eyes and nose - and my own - and put my arms around him as an after-sob shook him.

He took a bite of the chocolate - and then thrust the bar up to me to have a bite too.

I've always remembered that woman. A tiny act of kindness for her, but so huge in its effect. For years I carried one of those little bars of chocolate with me at all times, in case I'd be able to pass on the favour to some other mother!

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: KT
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 04:08 AM

Going through the drive through espresso stand the other day, I dug out my money ( I wanted to be ready Bobert). When I pulled up to the window, I was handed my latte, with a note saying, "Have a nice day, KT!! The person ahead of you bought yours. Made my day, drove me crazy trying to figure out who did it, and taught me a lesson about how hard it is to receive without reciprocating.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Thompson
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 04:12 AM

Heh, there have been chains of people buying coffee for the person behind!

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Bruce Baker
Date: 06 Dec 15 - 08:09 PM

About a year ago, I received an email from an elderly woman who wanted to pass on music that she had collected. We chatted and arranged a date to meet in a retirement center in North Seattle. I pulled in and parked, walked up the drive, smelled the earthy winter air, and greeted Dorothy in the main room of the center.

Her eyes were bright with anticipation of handing off her music collection. We talked about the joy of singing together as we took the elevator up to her apartment. There on the table was a box of papers, her collection. I started to pick it up and thank her and it occurred to me that there was more to this encounter than a mere transfer. I asked her where it had come from. She told me she had started a collection in a college outing club in Vermont. She held it close over the years and sang from it when she had the chance. We pored over the well-worn pages together, and when one of us exclaimed, "This is a favorite," we would sing it together. We sang for nearly an hour, her eyes sparkling and youth remembered. It was such a pleasure to see the joy in her eyes. Finally fatigue took over and she was ready to pass the legacy on. Two generations, one common tie, and an evening to treasure forever.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Joe_F
Date: 07 Dec 15 - 03:55 PM

In 1971, driving from Eau Claire, WI, to Denver, I picked up a hitchhiker somewhere in Iowa who was also headed for Denver. When the gas gauge got down to 1/4, I started looking for a filling station, but that was insufficient prudence in Nebraska on I-80 at night. One after another was closed, and I ran out of gas. I emptied my camping stove into the tank, and that got us a little way, but a couple of miles short of the next exit, at which there was an all-night truck stop. So, leaving the hitchhiker with the car, I set off on foot on the shoulder with my headlamp. Some trucks passed, but did not stop for me. At length, a car stopped & picked me up. It was my car. A driver _going east_ had seen my car on the other side, guessed what had happened, gone to the next exit, turned around, gone to the truck stop, bought a gallon of gas, made the circuit again, delivered it to the hitchhiker, and sped off without introducing himself or accepting payment. (We got to Denver at 3 a.m. He put me up at his place so I would not have to wake up the people I would be joining. He was gay, and it would perfect the story if I said I had gotten laid, but that would be a lie, and this is a moral thread.)

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 15 - 11:08 PM

In my college years I was a mountain climber, and I worked for the Forest Service during the summers in the Cascade mountains. There were occasions when calls to the local Mountain Rescue group (of which I was a member) meant everyone down the valley had to get together and drive to the mountains where I already lived.

There were two of us working at the forest service the summer night we got a call about a woman who had been crushed by an ice fall on French Creek. She had been hiking with her boyfriend, who dressed her in everything they had in their packs and then hiked out to find a phone to call for help.

Jim and I drove to the trail head an hour before the rest of the folks would arrive from town, and we joined the local sheriff and the boyfriend to hike up to find the injured woman. The sheriff wasn't in shape and the boyfriend was tired and soon both were way behind us, and as fast as I was at hiking, Jim was ahead of me. When I walked onto the scene a few minutes behind him, the woman was lying there beside the trail with Jim's wool shirt over the top of her, and a thermometer in her mouth.

I stood in the clear cold night listening to the coyotes in the distance, and realized that she had been here, hurt and alone, for hours, as the sun went down, in total darkness, listening to the coyotes, and now she had a thermometer in her mouth as Jim rustled in his pack for first aid stuff. Without anything else I could do for her at the moment, I sat down beside her and took her hand - and she clenched my hand for dear life. I had the feeling that someone putting a shirt over her and a thermometer in her mouth might not seem quite real after all of these hours (she had a spiral fracture of her femur - a painful break requiring surgery and traction once she was to the hospital).

On my day off I went to town and visited her in the hospital. The entire rescue transaction had happened in the dark - as dawn barely broke a Whidbey Island Naval Chinook rescue helicopter hovered over the valley and they lifted her into the craft and flew her to the hospital. We all walked out and went our separate ways. So on my ride up to her floor in the elevator with a stranger, I hesitated, then asked the man if he was Barry (the boyfriend). Yes - and I introduced myself. We'd never really seen each other - and as we walked into Sharon's room he happily introduced me. And the first thing she said was that until I took her hand, she hadn't thought the rescue was for real. So for an hour or more as I held her hand, as more rescuers arrived at her location, I was the one who helped her believe that it was all real.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 08 Dec 15 - 11:24 AM

I'll remember that about holding someone's hand, Acme.

Thanks, all, for your stories.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Dec 15 - 08:59 PM

Thanks, Leeneia, and Joe, I love that story! It could have gone so wrong, but more often, it goes just right as people do what they should do.

I once picked up a hitchhkiker on my way from Bellingham to Everett, in Washington. Why? Because he had a guitar case and a golden retriever! They had to be a sure thing as safe passengers. I spread a tarp over the back seat of my VW Bug for the dog, and by the time we reached Marysville (five miles north of Everett) we'd had such a great conversation (80 miles or so) that my passenger and dog went with me out to my Dad's (PNW folksinger John Dwyer's) house in Marysville for a visit before I finally dropped him off in Everett, where we both had been headed.

It was a great trip, a nice visit, and my Dad liked the guy and really liked his dog. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: GUEST,achmelvich
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 05:31 AM

we have just been flooded out again in cumbria. it's a pain of course but made much easier by the random acts of kindness from many people in our home town of cockermouth. our friend jenny gave us a house.

any climate change deniers should not try saying that round our way. save the planet! save my vinyl collection!

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: maeve
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 07:47 AM

I'm so sorry to read of your distress, achmelvich, and grateful you are being treated with kindness.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Kindness-Random or Otherwise
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 02:25 PM

Some lovely recollections, thanks folks.