BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.

Subject: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:04 AM

Water boarding? Beheading? Nope.. memos!!

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: Peace
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:13 AM

It certainly solves the identification problem, Jack. Look for the guy with the file cabinet at customs.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:46 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:50 AM

AN interesting article indeed, Jack; for one reason, above all others, in that it reveals the Achilles heel of Al Qeda. They squabble. And they are, predominantly, passive-aggressive squabblers. So sprinkling uncomplimentary rumors among their ranks through the appropriate use of media can bring them down in a cloud of self-destructive attacking internally.

See, if we'd had any HUMINT on the ground in Afghanistan and Pakistan in 2000, we would have had a fix on this approach long ago.

A

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:59 AM

What do you expect? They're just a branch of the CIA, after all...

;-P

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: Ernest
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:55 AM

I expect that it is rather complicated to think of a punishment for future suicide bombers.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:57 AM

LOL

Harshly worded memos pale in comparison.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:59 AM

Give them bombs that won't explode.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punisments.
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 03:37 AM

Force them to stay alive and care for highly critical aged aged mullahs with physical complaints...


A

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 04:48 AM

They lose a virgin for each bad memo I expect...

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Slag
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 05:20 AM

One line in that memos reads:

" . . . I would like to remind you and myself of the punishment for any violation."

However he didn't mention what that punishment was.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: bobad
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 08:57 AM

The punishment was probably being forbidden to be a suicide bomber.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:14 AM

Question: How do they--suicide bombers--practise?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:14 AM

OK. Serious for a second. Do they have to pay into social security and unemployment?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:15 AM

Ya gotta admit, it's a job with a limited future.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: meself
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:20 AM

If I were in line to be a suicide bomber, I'd be a little miffed to see pension contributions coming off my paycheque ...

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:48 PM

I hear that.

Do they ever call in sick?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 02:01 PM

"Suicide Bomb Candidate 3245 here, boss. Listen, I'm not gonna make it in today. I'm really under the weather. I have this terrible weight in my chest and am having trouble breathing...".

"Godammit, Omar!! You get your ass in here!! You're on the deployment schedule for detonation this afternoon!! Your hour of glory has arrived!!!"


"Aw, hell....lissen, couldn't it wait until I feel a little better? I want to be in shape for the big event, ya know what I mean? I want it to be perfect...".

"You asshole. OK, lemme see if I can reach Salim. He said he was getting a haircut to get ready for day after tomorrow, but, hey, who cares about his hair, ya know what I mean? You rest up, and get ready to take his slot...".

"Thanks, boss, I knew you'd unnerstan...".

"OK, gotta get on it. Salaam"

"Aleikum salaam boss. And...thanks...".

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 02:06 PM

(I crack me up sometimes...).


A

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 02:31 PM

So do suicide bombers...

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 02:52 PM

I suppose you'd have to be gentle with someone if you're expecting them to sacrifice for the cause. You couldn't really afford for people to take their bat home!

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 02:59 PM

OK. So the guy drives to the area where he has to do the deed--no, not THAT deed--and leaves the car. He gets a ticket for illegal parking. Who pays the fine?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 03:03 PM

Who pays the fine?

Pass......
....... but imagine if the mission failed and you were stuck with the fine - you'd be a bit pissed off (whatever the deed was!).

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 03:07 PM

... and no doubt you'd get another memo.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 03:15 PM

... thus making you easier to spot at the airport security check. Someone should inform those idiots that it's self-defeating. However, how come thses guys never make it to the Darwin Awards?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 06:12 PM

(Because they write backwards?)


A

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Peace
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 10:32 AM

Flick of my Bic?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: bobad
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 10:42 AM

It's a job with upward mobility.

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 02:36 PM

very lenient though...

perhaps a mullah light...?

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 07:07 PM

Upward, downward, sideways, diagonal and inward mobility, and unique starting benefits.

A

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 07:09 PM

Oh, and the ULTIMATE in medical and dental solutions.


A

Subject: RE: BS: BS: Al Qaeda's Internal Punishments.
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 07:31 PM

Ultimate Al Qaeda bummer.

You get your root canal, you pay your deductible for that and the new crowns. The day before your appointment to get crowns put on, you get an assignment.